Helping My Dog Mourn Her Lost Buddy

[Guest zaylea]

Batou passed away on Monday, and Major has gotten fussy about eating. She's the only pet in the house now. Yesterday I had to coax her a little to eat, but this morning she ate almost nothing. I bought her a couple of new toys and was playing with her a lot yesterday evening. I think the problem with eating is that Batou was the dominant one, and maybe she's expecting him to start eating first. Major always looked to him for how she should behave. She would sniff at his bowl, so I put his feeder away this morning. Then she would sniff her food, eat a few bits, and then go walking through every room, whining softly, and then return, and repeat. After a bit she just laid down in the bedroom and didn't come back. She didn't even watch me go out the door this morning.

 

How long should I expect this to last? Is there anything I can do to help her? For various reasons, I'd like to avoid getting a second dog. If she really needs it, I will, but I'd prefer to help her adjust to being an only dog. I think it's worth noting that I've only had her since mid-December. Batou and Major were half-siblings (same sire), and she got attached to him pretty quickly.

[XTRAWLD]

She was in the house when he passed away correct? It's probably really traumatic for her I would guess? I think you just need to spend lots of time with her, leave a radio on when you are away so the whole house isn't silent. Give her lots of love, a nice soft bed, etc. I have read that giving them a toy or blanket with the scent of the one that passed away on it can help. She can still smell that he's home..... There were a few good articles I recall reading in the Dogs in Canada magazine about helping a grieving dog, When Dogs Grieve and Do Dogs Mourn.

 

Don't forget that you still need to grieve too.

 

I'm so sorry to hear about his passing.

[IndyandHollyluv]

I am so sorry about Batou.

 

I don't know how old your dogs are?? but I lost my Indy last year. Indy and Holly were also half-siblings (same sire) but were together over eight years. They weren't cuddly and snuggly together but they clearly bonded in some way and were constant companions.

 

I took Holly, then almost 11, with us when I had Indy, 12, euthanized at the vet's office. She hung back in the corner of the room - just watching. I don't know if it was the right thing to do, but I didn't want her constantly looking for Indy to return. Indy was also the leader of their two-dog pack.

 

Anyway, Holly was deeply depressed and clearly grieved after Indy's death. She lay in her bed for about one week. Holly did eat but that was about it. She looked so sad and blue. Eventually, she perked up a little (not a lot) but it took time - and just like with people, perhaps every dog mourns differently.

 

In my infinite (heavy sarcasm), I adopted two senior males last year (several months apart) thinking she might want some companions. I came to realize, while a certain amount of canine companionship is okay, she would have been perfectly fine alone. (Although, truthfully, I don't think Holly has ever been quite the same since Indy's death.)

 

She is 12 now and, perhaps due to her age, hasn't bonded with either male. Frankly, she could care less and seems greatly put out by their presence -- as one likes to lay in her favorite bed. Holly is not a pushy female so she just concedes defeat and walks away which makes me feel very sad. The male hounds are 10 and 12+, so we're not talking puppies.

 

I think some dogs are like old people - set in their ways and will never bond like they did when they were young. If I had to do it all over again, I would not have adopted another dog.

 

I would just give her time as it's what she needs. This makes me so sad. Sigh.

Edited April 13, 2011 by IndyandHollyluv

[Guest zaylea]

She was in the house when he passed away correct? It's probably really traumatic for her I would guess? I think you just need to spend lots of time with her, leave a radio on when you are away so the whole house isn't silent. Give her lots of love, a nice soft bed, etc. I have read that giving them a toy or blanket with the scent of the one that passed away on it can help. She can still smell that he's home..... There were a few good articles I recall reading in the Dogs in Canada magazine about helping a grieving dog, When Dogs Grieve and Do Dogs Mourn.

 

Don't forget that you still need to grieve too.

 

I'm so sorry to hear about his passing.

 

Yeah poor girl was with him when he died. I came home from work and found his body. Major was whining loudly and pacing. I know it must have been traumatic for her, but at least he wasn't alone. He soiled several of the beds before he died, but there are a couple that should still have his scent. The "Do Dogs Mourn" article is interesting.

[Guest zaylea]

I am so sorry about Batou.

 

I don't know how old your dogs are?? but I lost my Indy last year. Indy and Holly were also half-siblings (same sire) but were together over eight years. They weren't cuddly and snuggly together but they clearly bonded in some way and were constant companions.

 

I took Holly, then almost 11, with us when I had Indy, 12, euthanized at the vet's office. She hung back in the corner of the room - just watching. I don't know if it was the right thing to do, but I didn't want her constantly looking for Indy to return. Indy was also the leader of their two-dog pack.

 

Anyway, Holly was deeply depressed and clearly grieved after Indy's death. She lay in her bed for about one week. Holly did eat but that was about it. She looked so sad and blue. Eventually, she perked up a little (not a lot) but it took time - and just like with people, perhaps every dog mourns differently.

 

In my infinite (heavy sarcasm), I adopted two senior males last year (several months apart) thinking she might want some companions. I came to realize, while a certain amount of canine companionship is okay, she would have been perfectly fine alone. (Although, truthfully, I don't think Holly has ever been quite the same since Indy's death.)

 

She is 12 now and, perhaps due to her age, hasn't bonded with either male. Frankly, she could care less and seems greatly put out by their presence -- as one likes to lay in her favorite bed. Holly is not a pushy female so she just concedes defeat and walks away which makes me feel very sad. The male hounds are 10 and 12+, so we're not talking puppies.

 

I think some dogs are like old people - set in their ways and will never bond like they did when they were young. If I had to do it all over again, I would not have adopted another dog.

 

I would just give her time as it's what she needs. This makes me so sad. Sigh.

 

Major is 5.5 and Batou had just turned 4. I had gotten her as company for Batou after Aneesa died in November. I think he appreciated it, Major would lay with him and lick his head. Batou seemed a little down when Aneesa died, but it wasn't anything like Major behaved. Then again, Aneesa was euthanized and he wasn't present for that. It exhausts me to even think about getting another dog right now.

[Guest chimni]

Dang that is sad! It just reminds me how much our choices can shape the experiences and personalities of our pets. A greyhound that lives alone might be happy doing his or her own thing but bring in a 2nd hound and you might see a more playful (or annoyed) side that wouldn't come out otherwise. It's tough to come to terms with the loss yourself, but to see Major go through the same thing and not be able to talk about it and just wait and see if she gets back to her usual habits must make it harder.

[lotsoffreetime]

I am so sorry for your loss of Batou. It must be hard for you to see Major suffering now on top of it. I don't know if it is possible, but maybe some playdates with other greyhounds she knows and likes may help her? My pack really mourned when we lost Kasie in September, especially Rio, who was very close to her. It took a while for her to bounce back but she did eventually, with extra attention and distractions from us, and diversion with playdates with other greyhounds outside of our own pack. We also allowed the pups to sleep with Kasie's beds or blankie's if they wanted to...Rio and Willy especially seemed to need this...they kept going back to her things and got agitated if I took them away. As the above articles mentioned, they slowly started to improve as time went on. Good luck.

[Guest Tes623]

When Scarlett died in February Sooner and Tawnie both quit eating for a few days. After a few days they would just kind of pick and both were mourning her. Two weeks after losing Scarlett, I brought in a foster dog and a day later they were both back to eating regularly.

[GeorgeofNE]

That's horrible. You came home and found your 5 year old dog dead? I'm so sorry. I had a cat drop dead at 6--just literally fell over dead. It was horrible.

 

The only plus here is that in only a few months, her grief should pass before too long. Which is not intended to minimize your concern--I'm sure it was tough on her. Do you know why he died? I'd be mildly concerned if you don't know that she might not be feeling well if she's not eating.

 

Try giving her some extra yummy stuff. Smelly things like cat food are pretty irresistible.

[Guest june]

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine coming home and finding one of my dogs had died.

 

One thought I did have that might be helpful; do you have any friends who have dogs that Major gets along with? Maybe a visit or a play date to help distract her? If they get along maybe the dog could stay with her/you for a couple days? I dog-sit and my girls get along really well with the dogs and always seem happy to have the extras to play with.

 

Sending gentle hugs and prayers for your healing,

june

[Guest zaylea]

That's horrible. You came home and found your 5 year old dog dead? I'm so sorry. I had a cat drop dead at 6--just literally fell over dead. It was horrible.

 

The only plus here is that in only a few months, her grief should pass before too long. Which is not intended to minimize your concern--I'm sure it was tough on her. Do you know why he died? I'd be mildly concerned if you don't know that she might not be feeling well if she's not eating.

 

Try giving her some extra yummy stuff. Smelly things like cat food are pretty irresistible.

 

Batou was struggling with IBD. We thought he was improving, but I guess something took a turn for the worst.

[Guest zaylea]

I don't know if it is possible, but maybe some playdates with other greyhounds she knows and likes may help her?

 

 

One thought I did have that might be helpful; do you have any friends who have dogs that Major gets along with? Maybe a visit or a play date to help distract her? If they get along maybe the dog could stay with her/you for a couple days? I dog-sit and my girls get along really well with the dogs and always seem happy to have the extras to play with.

 

Most of my friends don't have dogs, but there's a dog park across the street. She's a little... breedist?... not particularly interested in interacting with non-greyhounds. She actually likes iggies, which I think is kind of silly. We're going to GiG, so maybe all the other greyhounds will cheer her up. When I came home today, it was kind of apparent she had gotten bored because one of end tables was chewed up good. I've got the freezer stocked up with stuffed kongs all ready for the rest of the week now, which hopefully will solve that problem.

[Guest june]

Greyhounds do sometimes tend to be a bit prejudiced toward their own breed

The trip will probably do both of you a world of good.

june

[cleptogrey]

when velcro died willie was really really hang dog and sad. sad enough that when i had him at an antique show a customer asked if his best friend had died. that was 4 months after velcro's death. when we finally got another dog 5 months later. when we added our grey emily he perked up immediatly even though they didn't play. when emily died last year felix was lost( willie passed and the other 2 never noticed, he had dimentia and was really out of it). i tried fostering( give it a shot). felix perked right up and yes, we became foster failures w/ the 2nd dog. they just clicked! it's always hard loosing a pup and hard watching the survivng dog alone.

[AstasMinion]

I have no particular wisdom to share but wanted to offer my sympathies for your loss of Batou and send special hugs to your sweet Major. So sorry you're going through this.