Sheshe Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 3 months ago tomorrow 9-9-08 my little Princess went to join so many at the Rainbow Bridge. It was sudden but we were able to have our vet come to the house. I still can't believe she is gone. I cry daily, break down in tears everytime I see her picture, beat myself up because deep down I knew she was sick. You see what I have never told a soul until now is this. Most of you know we were taking good care of a friends grey and we took him to the Vet only to find out he had cancer. Well to make sure he was comfy and becuase the diagnosis came while him mom was in the hospital my dh and I really doted on him. My DH put him on the ottoman right below where Princess Aria held court. We have a sectional and the primo spot was the corner of the sectional where we had put a dog bed. Several times this irratated Aria and I could not figure out why. One day my DH put him to close to her and she looked at me and I swear she said, "Why are you giving that other grey so much attention when I am sick to" I looked at her and said Aria you don't look sick, and she replied back to me "Mommy I have Cancer too". I did not want to beleive this. I did not say anything to anyone because I just thought I was picking up on the ohter grey or that she was picking up on Rocky's cancer. Well we went to NC on September 6th. We got a call from our dog sitter that Aria had run in the back yard and hurt herself. We called our Friend and she went around and picked up Aria and took her to our vet. We found out from our vet that she had cancer. I tell you we have never gotten home so fast. We got home and picked her up from our freind. The vet let us know all the problems and the options. She had broken her shoulder no her leg, and it was advanced etc. We made the tough decision to let her go because of her being in so much pain and she was so independent that she would fight the pain meds. That day has to have been the worst day of my life, I have to tell you I have been through a lot but letting her go was so painful. Fast foward 3 months, I am still crying, I feel guilty because I did not beleive that I was actually picking up her thoughts and I felt I could have done something sooner, and now I miss her so much. This is going to be our first Christmas without her and I don't want to put up a tree and do all the christmas stuff. I am mad at myself and I am mad that she is gone. I love her so much, thank you for letting me vent and tell my story. Sheila Quote Sheila Loved by Mozart, Sherri, Xavier, McCleary, Tigger. Amelia and 2 Salukis Poppy and Zarah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dante2zoe Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 I am so very sorry that you are feeling such guilt. I do not really know what to say that could help you, but please know that there are so many people here that care about you and your situation. May you find peace. Quote Cindy with Miss Fancypants, Paris Bueller, Zeke, and Angus Dante (Dg's Boyd), Zoe (In a While), Brady (Devilish Effect), Goose (BG Shotgun), Maverick (BG ShoMe), Maggie (All Trades Jax), Sherman (LNB Herman Bad) and Indy (BYB whippet) forever in my heart The flame that burns the brightest, burns the fastest and leaves the biggest shadow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest greytexplorer Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 I cannot begin to fathom the depth of your pain. I'm so sorry about Aria, it is evident from your post how much you loved her. Aria loved you, too, and was happy to be a part of your home!!! Please don't be so hard on yourself. All of us are doing the best we can, under the circumstances we are given. No one can do better than that. ~Pat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheshe Posted December 8, 2008 Author Share Posted December 8, 2008 Thank you, Talking about it helps. Diane Roadcap our Animal Communicator had told me I had the abilty but I really did not believe in myself. I now take what I hear from my greys a lot more seriously. Again thank you fo listening. Sheila Quote Sheila Loved by Mozart, Sherri, Xavier, McCleary, Tigger. Amelia and 2 Salukis Poppy and Zarah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4greyhounds Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 I am so very sorry. :grouphug Please don't beat yourself up we have no idea, we hear the thoughts in our head but we bluff them off. I had similar thoughts with my Champ and I still took him to get his dental, he died 10-days, later he never came back to himself after the dental and even though he had got a clean bill of health he had a tumor that popped in his stomach.When we get these thoughts we don't want to believe them, I know, but they would never want to see us unhappy... Quote Darlene Mom to: Aladdin, Sophie ,Pongo, Jasmine, Relic Forever in our Hearts Champ at the Rainbow Bridge. Let a greyhound race into your heart Adopt Bay Area Greyhound Adoptions INC. Naples/ Fort Myers Chapter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MerlinsMum Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 oh gosh I'm so sorry for the pain and grief you are experiencing. I wish I could make the pain go away, but only time will heal your heart. Please don't beat yourself up or feel guilty though. There is nothing you could have done. You did the very best a loving mum can do - you let her go before the bad pain started. That is Love indeed. It sounds as if the two of you had an incredible connection - so I am certain that Aria knew how much you loved her. :grouphug Quote Kerry with Lupin in beautiful coastal Maine. Missing Pippin, my best friend and sweet little heart-healer 2013-2023 Also missing the best wizard in the world, Merlin, and my sweet 80lb limpet, Sagan, every single day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BlackandBrindle Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 She doesn't blame you. She loves you and wants your heart to be whole. Please don't beat yourself up. She knew that you loved her more than anything and that's all that matters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GreytMuse Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 As everyone above has said, please let go of the guilt and blame. Aria loves you and wants you to remember all of the good, silly, fun times you shared -- that is how you honor her memory and that is what we have to do to find peace after we lose a heart-pup. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patricia Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 Oh Sheila.... Remembering your Princess with you. Quote Patti-Mommy of Lady Sophia 7-28-92 - 8-3-04... LaceyLaine 8-2-94-12-5-07... Flash Gordon 7-14-99 - 8-29-09... BrookLynne...Pavé Maria... and 18 Bridge Kids. WATCHING OVER US~SOPHIA~QUEENIE~LACEY LAINE~ CODY ANGELO~FLASH GORDON. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygang Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 Look into her eyes on the picture, I'm sure she's saying 'Mommy don't be sad' your grief is blinding you because your hearts broken..... She wouldn't want you to be unhappy that I'm certain of... Quote Run free our beloved Sir Snowy, Pip, Queenie, Sadie, Tess & Rosie until we meet again......I would rather feel the thorn than to never see the rose Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheshe Posted December 8, 2008 Author Share Posted December 8, 2008 She did have the most beautiful eyes. They were so soulful. thank you everyone. I know she is looking after me. I know she wants me to be happy and rescue and help greys more than ever. Sheila Quote Sheila Loved by Mozart, Sherri, Xavier, McCleary, Tigger. Amelia and 2 Salukis Poppy and Zarah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carronstar Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 She doesn't blame you. She loves you and wants your heart to be whole. Please don't beat yourself up. She knew that you loved her more than anything and that's all that matters. I couldn't have said it better. Aria would not want you to feel this way. She knew you loved her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MomoftheFuzzy Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 Oh Sheila... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nyGreys Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grey14me Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 :grouphug Quote Michelle...forever missing her girls, Holly 5/22/99-9/13/10 and Bailey 8/1/93-7/11/05 Religion is the smile on a dog...Edie Brickell Wag more, bark less :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest greytexplorer Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 She did have the most beautiful eyes. They were so soulful. thank you everyone. I know she is looking after me. I know she wants me to be happy and rescue and help greys more than ever. Sheila Spot on, Sheila! It's called 'resolution'. and yes, Aria's eyes were remarkable! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlies_Dad Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 I am very sorry for your loss of Aria, she is beautiful. Please do not beat yourself up, it's not your fault. We can never truly know what is happening to our loved ones and it's natural to blame ourselves. She is running free, free of pain, free of boundries and full of love for what you gave her both in life and when it was time to give the final gift. Quote Kyle with Stewie ('Super C Ledoux, Super C Sampson x Sing It Blondie) and forever missing my three angels, Jack ('Roy Jack', Greys Flambeau x Miss Cobblepot) and Charlie ('CTR Midas Touch', Leo's Midas x Hallo Argentina) and Shelby ('Shari's Hooty', Flying Viper x Shari Carusi) running free across the bridge. Gus an coinnich sinn a'rithist my boys and little girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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