Prancer

[Guest murmurmel]

It's been almost 3 weeks now, yet somehow feels like Prancer has been gone ages...

 

It's been a very strange time for me, I was so numb the first week... It all happened SO suddenly-with no warning, no signs of problems... Just a seizure at 4 in the morning, a rush to the emergency vet around the corner, and we were home again by 4:30am. Without Prancer. Start to finish it was only half an hour and he was gone.

 

Yet...in a way, all I keep feeling is how unbelievably lucky I was. I only had him in my life for a year, but he worked his way into the hearts of so many... So, over the past few weeks, I've been strugging thru a lot of guilt more than anything... The "What If" guilt... What if I knew something was wrong? What if I knew what caused his seizure? What if I could have prevented it? And then there was the guilt of not "feeling more" that he was gone. When I told people at work, and at the dog park, and my fellow volunteers at the nursing home and at my adoption group... I felt so flat... I had people who had never even met him have tears immediately spring to their eyes for him... They knew how much a part of my life he was... He WAS my life... And there I was, seemingly showing no emotion. I cried the whole time at the vets (my boyfriend had to tell me the next day what the vet had said because I just wasn't even able to comprehend it all at the time), and I went through the next 2 days in a stupor, thinking about Prancer non-stop...but after that, when I saw people and told them the news-I was just numb and flat, with seemingly no emotion.

 

That was a strange feeling...again, more guilt. I should be "more broken up" about it or something. Imagining people looking at me thinking "Wow, how is she taking this so well", "I can't believe she's not more upset". But again...all I could think was how unbelievably lucky I was. So, now that I've had a little time to deal with his loss, I thought I should finally post in Rememberance and let everyone know how and why I was so, so lucky.

 

To start at the end...

I was lucky that he didn't feel a thing when he left us. It was quick, there was no suffering, he just left us with no pain, no extended illness, not even old age to suffer thru.

 

I was lucky that his last year was with us. He was bounced four times before us-and that's not even counting the foster homes in between-and all the bounces where thru no fault of his own. I think that he didn't have a lot of attention in his former homes, but he had nothing but attention from the second he came home with us. He was truly the center of my life.

 

I was lucky to have his constant smile. He was always happy, always grinning an infectious grin from ear to ear.

 

I was lucky to see the effect he had on people's lives.

...At the dog park... he would all but ignore the dogs running circles around him and instead slowly stroll from person to person, pushing his head under their hand for a pet, or raising his nose to within a millimeter of their face to look straight into their eyes with all the deep soulfullness of that greyhound gaze, yet with a smile and a twinkle too.

 

...At the nursing home... Volunteers & residents alike fell in love with him. He was just so happy all the time. He walked up to the nursing home every week wagging and prancing and roo-ing at his friends. There was one volunteer he loved who would rub his ear 'till he groaned in delight. She would kneel down to pet him and he would literally crawl in her lap, his leg over her knee.

 

...At Meet & Greets...He was the perfect ambassador for greyhound adoption. He strongly felt that everyone was *obviously* there purely to see him. He pushed his way over to everyone within reach for pets-going so far as to literally roo at people who didn't notice him!!!

 

...With friends & family. With my grandparents who are in their 90's and quite fragile, he would go from prancing to serene and gentle (but still of course pushing into their laps for pets!!). With my young cousins, who he would tolerate patiently as they hugged and hung all over him. With my parents & my BF's parents, neither of whom were ever really "dog people", and both of whom are now looking into getting a dog!! (seriously!! )

 

...Finally, At Home... He was our constant companion. Weaseling in between us in bed at night (sneaking up at 2 in the morning once we were asleep ). Squeezing in behind us (or over us ) when we sat on our small 2-person couch. He was just always there, happy and affectionate.

 

I was so lucky.

 

I miss his "prancing"... nothing made me smile the way he would jump and dance when you asked him The Question. "You wanna go for a ride?!"

 

I miss how when he was excited and you asked him The Other Question... "Whaddaya wanna do?!" , He would respond with a resounding Roooooooooo!!!!

 

I miss how he would always curl up next to me on the couch watching tv, or reading in bed.

 

But still, with all that...I just feel so, so, so lucky that we had him in our lives.

He was amazing.

 

When his ashes came back, the certificate of creamation had this poem in it...

" Farewell Master, yet not farewell.

Where I go, ye too shall dwell.

I am gone, before your face,

A moment's time, a little space.

When ye come where I have stepped

Ye will wonder why ye wept."

After Death, by Edwin Arnold

[Guest Joe_N_Mists_Mom]

I know how you feel! I am so sorry, he sounded wonderful!

 

Hugs,

Tina

[Jiffer]

OMG, I'm all choked up!

 

Farewell sweet Prancer, you are a very beautiful boy!

[LBass]

What a loving tribute! Prancer was lucky to have found you, too.

[robinw]

That was a beautiful tribute. And a lot of people feel flat when they are experiencing grief. After all, everybody grieves in their own way.

 

I feel fortunate to have met Prancer. He was so sweet and handsome.

[Tracey]

I can't even imagine how tough Prancer's passing must have been for you. You certainly made his last year a special one, and have given him a wonderful tribute.

[Guest GriffinsMom]

That was a lovely tribute and you were so lucky to have Prancer for even a short time.

[Guest wmlcml6]

How beautiful that you can focus on the positive. Prancer sounds like he was a very friendly loving companion.

[Lilysmom]

God Bless you! Yes you are right, how very lucky and blessed we all are to have these special animals in our lives. Many people (who just don't get it) think greyhound people are nuts for allowing them to change our lives, well I can say that this breed has certainly changed my life forever and I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

It's so dam hard to loose a member of the family but we all know there will be a time when we are reunited with them, so until then continue to remember the wonderful times you and Prancer had together and let the guilt go, you gave him and he gave you unconditional love and now it's Prancer's turn to watch over you always.

 

Remember when you see that rainbow in the sky, Prancer is letting you know he is ok and will always be with you.

 

I would like to send my deepest sypmathies for your loss.

 

Prancer certainly was a special pupper!

 

Hugs!

Karen

Edited November 18, 2004 by Lilysmom

[Guest Lexus]

Wow, quite a tribute.He had a wonderful year in a forever home..he was loved wholeheartedly by you and he showed his spirit and love for you, No matter how long they are here, it is never long enough. There should never be guilt feelings about something you never had control over, and I think the "flat feeling" comes from the suddeness of his death. Most have time to prepare, if even for a week, but you had no time, so don't beat yourself up over the "flatness"

 

I think we are all very lucky to have these magnificent creatures as part of our families, I know I am!

[Guest AmberDMC]

What a wonderful tribute- thank you for sharing it

[RileysLegacy]

That was beautiful Mel. You both were lucky to have found each other

 

I have to agree, I only met Prancer for a few short days, but he was so obviously a special guy. He was just a total sweetheart.

 

Shaun and I still talk about him and how sad we are that he is gone. He was very happy to hear that Prancer brought you Blitzen.

 

Take care!

[CleosMom]

Thank you for sharing your loving tribute to Prancer. I think you were both blessed!

[ShanakilMagic]

Hugs.

[patricia]

You were blessed and so was Prancer. Thank you for sharing his story and your grief and know that we are here for you.

[Guest Coyote]

Oooooh..you made me cry! I bet Endear and Prancer are up there now telling each other how lucky THEY were!!! Bet theres lots of greyhounds up there wondering why no one ever loved them. Yours was LUCKY as was mine. Even though we had them for only a short time..the love is indescribable and still continues til we see them again.

 

Hugs to you.

[Guest murmurmel]

I think one of the reasons I finally got around to writing today was that I got out my "zoom groom" brush (a massaging rubber brush that gets out shedding hair like nothin' else!), and there was a big ol' pile of Prancer fur still in the brush. So, I took it out & put it in a little envelope & saved it in his memory box with his collar & all the cards I got when he passed away.

 

But anyway...Thanks to everyone... It was such a help coming here & reading everyone's responses & feeling their support when it first happened. (many thanks to Patti esp. who has listened to me a lot thru Prancer's loss & Blitzen's arrival!!) And again, I'm so glad a few fellow GT'er's did get to meet him at Dewey... (I know you'll have a loooooooong trip next year Lucy, but I hope you can come to Dewey again & meet Blitzen!! )

[Guest KaseysMom]

Lovely.

[Guest Becki]

[scullysmum]

I know just how you feel. Your brave and positive attitude to Prancer's passing is an inspiration. Bless you.

[Guest MnMDogs]

That is just so touching - how lucky you and he were to have each other.