Car Anxiety, Fearful, Frustrating, Early Onset Dementia?

[Guest Energy11]

YIKES!! Looks like we have hikacked the thread here.

 

About 14 months ago, my Goldie, then 10, had what appeard to ME to be a seizure or stroke. The vet here treated her for seizures, hence all the meds, including Pred and Valium. She as off the meds about a week prior to the Free T4, but of course, some were probably still in her system.

 

Since her thyroid supplementation, Goldie IS a different girl! She is happy, full of life and healthy. Her days are perfect, and her nights, well, some are better than others, but, far, far better than they were. She hasn't has any "seizure-like" or "stroke-like" activity, since that first incident, 14 months ago. Is this all from thyroid supplementation? I can't be sure, but something happened.

 

Whether one goes with MSU or Dr. Dodds, all that matters is, the dog is getting checked for possible problems. We could debate all day about this, but I just hope Coen gets throughly checked out, by whomever, so they can be sure it isn't medical, before going to behavioral, or re-homing him.

 

To me, and to DH, Goldie is 100% better than 14 months ago, and is still with us

 

Dee

[Guest SaddleWags]

Coen's physical declares he is in good health. We are getting the full thyroid test done Monday so that we can ship the fresh blood (insert evil laugh) ourselves to save $. Since there is a thyroid debate, should I send a blood sample to both MSU and Dr. Dobbs? We are getting the tick tyder (spelling?) done, too.

 

About the car anxiety, I asked the vet about the trazodone. But she'd never heard of it. I'll ask her to check it out. Coen is always lavishly supplied with comfort when in the car. We keep him in the back portion of the Xterra, with the windows cracked and the music on to drown out the seriously loud panting. How does he not faint? He panted so badly on the way to see the family, that my sisters present was drenched from all the drippings...sigh. Poor Edie just lays back there with him and tries to sleep trying to ignore the occasional sprinkles of spit.

 

We are going to give him a small dose of Rimadyl daily to see if there is any hidden discomfort. He has a corn and wears a Thera-Paws on our walks. The vet has removed the corn. I am aware that he normally carries his head at shoulder level. Rarely is it up above his body, like my female's. I always interpreted this as lack of confidence. I've always massaged his neck thinking there may be an issue. His neck muscles are always tight. Any insight here? The vet tweaked it, but there weren't any signs of pain.

 

My husband walked them again this morning with very few stops. Coen gets so mad it seems cuz he isn't getting to stop like he wants and so he does his usual thing, pulls and pulls and then starts dragging. So we check his feet to make sure everything's good. This boy is so so so so stubborn.

 

Just to put everyone's concerns to rest, we won't be returning him. We never would. We do accept him for who he is - "The fun police", "Mr. Fuddyduddy", "Old Man Coen", "Mr. Grumble Buns" and my favorite "Grumplestilskin". But his difficulty/stubbornness never fades despite our encouragement, attempts, and efforts (including calming signals) . After so long living together, one assumes one can pick up on what's expected. I don't feel I need empathy with a dog. That's the beauty of dogs. They live in the moment, right? Fingers crosses that the test results will shed some light.

[Guest Energy11]

I would probably have your vet send the blood for the thyroid testing to whaterver lab he/she uses. I would then send whatever the results are to Dr. Dodds (if you don't use her for final review). I faxed her Goldie's, along with all her history. Sending the blood to BOTH MSU and Dr. Dodds, could be very expensive.

 

My vet uses Idexx, but then, decided to send the blood to MSU. I was the one who decided to send Goldie's blood to Dr. Dodds. Being a retired paramedic, and vet tech, I like second, and third opinions, and always get them. Then, I make the final decision.

 

Again, good luck! Wouldn't it be great is all he needed was thyroid supplementation?

 

Dee and The Five.

[Batmom]

I would send your bloodwork to MSU for the premium panel with endocrinologist's interpretation. That would get you the full realm of up-to-date tests as well as a board-certified opinion. If you and your vet then want to ask others such as Ohio State's Greyhound Wellness Program (https://greyhound.os...ltationservice/ ) to discuss the results, you'd be able to do that. You wouldn't be missing any tests and there wouldn't be any question about the test methodology used.

 

As jjng (a vet) noted recently in another thread, Dr. Dodds' "views on vaccines and thyroid function are not mainstream and not what most specialists in those fields (immunologists, endocrinologists) believe." I've personally seen dogs harmed by non-evidence-based endocrinology treatment so I use the MSU/OSU services when my own vet is uncertain or we feel the need for second opinions, confirmation, etc.

Edited January 6, 2012 by Batmom

[TheFullHouse]

To be honest, most of Coen's problems seem to be from a lack of training. I would start over from square 1, take some basic obedience classes (ones which include heel so that you reteach him to walk on a leash without pulling). We had to do this with our JRT, you want a dog that can pull! Honestly I just think Coen isn't sure of what is expected of him so he just barrels through everything.

 

As far as the car. I've mentioned it before on here but our little Jilly Bean used to get sick every time we put her in the car. Until we got her the only time she went in the car was to the vet and really had a psychological problem with the car so we started out very slowly with her. We put her in the car, took her around the block, came right home. Let her out of the car, treated her and in the house we went. We did this for several days and then expanded our drive to several blocks, again treating her when the ride was over. We worked up to being able to go to our local fast food restaurant where they gave dog treats and we would take her there and they would give her a cookie which is probably why she absolutely flips over going to a fast food restaurant now. We eventually got her to the point where we were able to take her on vacation without her getting sick at all. It's time consuming but it works!

[Guest Giselle]

Given that everything has thus far come up normal and assuming that the tests will all come back normal, I will say it one last time:

 

If everything is physically normal (and, at this point, everything is), you need to learn how to TRAIN your dog to ENJOY your dog. I agree with your former foster's advice wholeheartedly and I spelled out the exact training steps you need to take with your dog.

 

Don't drug your dog if he has car anxiety. First, train. Always. That is the weapon of choice - TRAIN, and only use medication as additional tools to improve your training.

 

ETA: It's not "stubbornness" when your dog wants to pull and sniff. First, it's normal to sniff. Second, you need to train your dog to walk appropriately if that is your desired behavior. Your dog isn't changing his behavior because you aren't doing anything to change it. Please, find a good, progressive trainer, and you will quickly realize how easy all of your problems are to fix.

Edited January 6, 2012 by Giselle

[JJNg]

Since there is a thyroid debate, should I send a blood sample to both MSU and Dr. Dobbs?

Even if you want Dr. Dodd's opinion too, I would still recommend sending the blood to MSU. Dr. Dodds will provide 2nd opinions for results done elsewhere. My concerns with Dr. Dodd's thyroid views are two-fold. Her interpretations are different because she uses reference ranges that she seems to have created herself, which are not the ranges typically accepted by endocrinologists, and for which I haven't seen any scientific backing. If anyone has references to how she came up with the breed-specific reference ranges she uses, I would be very interested.

 

My other concern is with her actual testing techniques. The mainstream veterinary community, including board certified endocrinologists, believe that TSH testing is critical, and that the most reliable method for testing FT4 is by equilibrium dialysis (ED). Dr. Dodd's panel does not include TSH at all, and she uses a "novel, 'green' non-RIA technology never offered before in veterinary medicine (patent pending)". The 'patent pending' indicates to me that this is something she's developed independently, and I'm not aware of any effort to get this technology validated and accepted by specialists in the field. Not to say that it might not be an accurate and reliable method, but I know nothing about it, and I would rather trust the well-established, proven techniques. Again, if anyone can point me to more information validating her testing methods, I'd be interested.

 

About the car anxiety, I asked the vet about the trazodone. But she'd never heard of it. I'll ask her to check it out.

As others have mentioned, car anxiety can often be fixed with training and desensitization alone. I always try that before resorting to meds. If you do decide to try meds, most vets are a lot more familiar with Valium or Xanax, which are more commonly used first line anti-anxiety drugs. Trazodone is fairly new to veterinary behavior, and many general practice vets are not familiar with it.

 

Just to put everyone's concerns to rest, we won't be returning him. We never would. We do accept him for who he is - "The fun police", "Mr. Fuddyduddy", "Old Man Coen", "Mr. Grumble Buns" and my favorite "Grumplestilskin". But his difficulty/stubbornness never fades despite our encouragement, attempts, and efforts (including calming signals) . After so long living together, one assumes one can pick up on what's expected. I don't feel I need empathy with a dog. That's the beauty of dogs. They live in the moment, right?

Glad you're willing to stick it out and continue working with him. However, I still get the impression that you really don't understand him and don't seem to be making an effort to see things from his perspective. I don't understand your comment about empathy. I absolutely think we need to have empathy with our dogs, and having that makes your bond and relationship so much richer.

 

It's not just about the dog picking up on what humans expect of him. We can also do our best to learn to read and communicate with our dogs on their terms, and that takes some effort on our part. We don't always naturally understand dogs, just as they don't automatically understand what we expect of them. Effective use of calming signals is more about learning to read the subtle body language that the dog is using to understand them better, rather than trying to use the signals to change the dog's behavior.

 

Even with the understanding that your first post was a vent, I still have a hard time seeing how anyone could write something like this, if there wasn't some underlying, perhaps subconscious, truth to the feeling:

"There's just no connection and we've had him for 3 years now. Very little personality, very little intelligence, very little (no) interest in closeness or playing. We love him (because he is dependent on us) and truly believe we are doing what's best"

 

Looking into your heart, do you truly love Coen and accept him for who he is, or is it a feeling of obligation because he is dependent on you?

[Guest SaddleWags]

Yes, what I wrote does seem harsh. But I still agree, as does my husband with everything I wrote. Yes, I was venting, but the fact is, his behavior is not typical dog behavior. Now you will defend that greyhounds are not typical dogs. Yes, I know that. I also know, that his behavior is not typical greyhound behavior. I do believe in conditioning. That's why my frustration exists. If we've been doing the same thing, every day, saying the same commands everyday, I expect a certain amount of recognition. Why then, does my female understand EVERYTHING and hasn't had a day of formal training, besides what we do at home?

 

I'll be updating with the progress of our new training classes.

[Burpdog]

If we've been doing the same thing, every day, saying the same commands everyday, I expect a certain amount of recognition. Why then, does my female understand EVERYTHING and hasn't had a day of formal training, besides what we do at home?

 

 

Because every dog is different, and like people, they have something individual to contribute. It sounds to me like this is a bad fit and he should find another home

[Batmom]

If we've been doing the same thing, every day, saying the same commands everyday, I expect a certain amount of recognition. Why then, does my female understand EVERYTHING and hasn't had a day of formal training, besides what we do at home?

 

Different dogs.

 

With working breeds, I got by with approximately the same approach for a large number of dogs. For sighthounds? Almost every one I've trained to do anything has been different from the others. It can be a challenge to find what motivates and makes sense to the individual dog. On the one hand, you don't want to change your approach without adequate time to sink in. On the other hand, if the lightbulb doesn't go off in a couple weeks, or if there are signs that what I'm doing is totally bypassing the dog's interest/cognition, I'll try something different.

[Guest sheila]

Yes, what I wrote does seem harsh. But I still agree, as does my husband with everything I wrote. Yes, I was venting, but the fact is, his behavior is not typical dog behavior. Now you will defend that greyhounds are not typical dogs. Yes, I know that. I also know, that his behavior is not typical greyhound behavior. I do believe in conditioning. That's why my frustration exists. If we've been doing the same thing, every day, saying the same commands everyday, I expect a certain amount of recognition. Why then, does my female understand EVERYTHING and hasn't had a day of formal training, besides what we do at home?

 

I'll be updating with the progress of our new training classes.

 

Harumph. Why does my Jane wiggle and twist whenever I dremel her nails, while my Billy happy lays down and THROWS his paws into my lap? They both get the same loves and the same treats each time. Why does Jane eat frozen poop and Billy wouldn't dream of it? They both get the exact same diet. Why did my Kiowa have perfect recall and my Sammy went seemingly deaf anytime she was off leash? I used the same commands for both of them. Why does my DD like artichokes and you couldn't pay me to eat one bite of them? For that matter, why is she a vegan when she was raised on steak and bacon? *sigh*

The answer is this, 'Because that is the way it is.' Complaining about what IS is a waste of time and spirit. Questioning WHY it is, is too. Finding a way to make it work to everyone's mutual satisfaction....worth exploring.

[JJNg]

I went back and re-read your posts in this thread, as well as Joanne's response. It doesn't sound like Coen is the same dog that you adopted 3 years ago. As you mentioned yourself, these problems developed a year ago. And just to confirm, all of the problems mentioned in your first post are new ones that developed the summer of 2010 - the car anxiety, pulling/dragging on leash, fear of noises, anxiety whenever away from home?

 

Simply the changes of your husband leaving for 2 months and having a foster dog for a few weeks should not have resulted in all of these problems. I would suspect there is something else going on, or something about the current situation that is causing him continued stress. Have you had the thyroid testing done yet? I truly hope the obedience classes help, but basic training doesn't always address underlying anxiety problems, especially if there is a source of stress that has not been identified.

 

It doesn't sound like you're recognizing and respecting Coen as an individual with his own set of needs. Instead you're comparing him to your other grey and expecting him to be like her, which will only hinder your progress with him. If you honestly feel that he has "no connection" with you and "very little personality, very little intelligence, very little (no) interest in closeness or playing" I don't understand how you can also say that you love this dog. Hopefully the one-on-one training will help change your feelings about him, but if not, maybe it would be best to return him and give him a chance at a home that will appreciate him for who he is.

[Guest SaddleWags]

After this I'll stop fanning the flames.

 

Yes, dogs are different. But it seems to me that the point of having a dog is not to figure out what works for him, but for him to do what I expect. What I mean is, it's not about finding what works for him, but for him to do what I want. Isn't that the difference between having dogs vs. kids.

 

We did meet with the agility trainer yesterday. She gave an excellent sense of knowledge and I could tell how much fun she has doing this. We can't wait til the next session. I've been wanting to do agility with my female, especially since she's sooo smart and sooo fast but there's been no extra money to put towards it. There still isn't but this is an emergency situation.

[TheFullHouse]

You're taking a dog that already has anxiety issues and putting him in agility class where you're going to expect even more from him and you can't get him to do the basic commands as it is? Maybe I'm missing something here. As it is you expect this dog to do everything you want him to do and he's not able to do it without obvious signs of anxiety. I feel badly for him. He's not living up to your expectations as it is and you are now expecting more of him. I wanted to add that if he has that much car anxiety and you put him in to the car to go to training, the dog is already going to be highly stressed out before you even get to class. Why not tackle one behavior at a time.

Edited January 11, 2012 by JillysFullHouse

[Guest SaddleWags]

Oh no sorry, the trainer is starting us with basic clicker training. The idea is to start having more fun together and connecting.

[Batmom]

Yes, dogs are different. But it seems to me that the point of having a dog is not to figure out what works for him, but for him to do what I expect. What I mean is, it's not about finding what works for him, but for him to do what I want.

 

How is he supposed to understand what you expect?

 

That is where the difference lies. Different training and management methods are needed for different dogs, as they are for children, spouses, other relatives, garden pests ......

 

Beyond training differences, I do think it is useful to be sensitive to a dog's particular needs. For example, some dogs need to go out promptly after eating a meal. Others can or prefer to wait 40-60 minutes. If you insist that the first type of dog wait 40-60 minutes, you're going to have a lot of crap on the floor and that is in no way the dog's fault.

 

 

 

[Guest verthib]

Yes, what I wrote does seem harsh. But I still agree, as does my husband with everything I wrote. Yes, I was venting, but the fact is, his behavior is not typical dog behavior. Now you will defend that greyhounds are not typical dogs. Yes, I know that. I also know, that his behavior is not typical greyhound behavior. I do believe in conditioning. That's why my frustration exists. If we've been doing the same thing, every day, saying the same commands everyday, I expect a certain amount of recognition. Why then, does my female understand EVERYTHING and hasn't had a day of formal training, besides what we do at home?

 

I'll be updating with the progress of our new training classes.

 

Harumph. Why does my Jane wiggle and twist whenever I dremel her nails, while my Billy happy lays down and THROWS his paws into my lap? They both get the same loves and the same treats each time. Why does Jane eat frozen poop and Billy wouldn't dream of it? They both get the exact same diet. Why did my Kiowa have perfect recall and my Sammy went seemingly deaf anytime she was off leash? I used the same commands for both of them. Why does my DD like artichokes and you couldn't pay me to eat one bite of them? For that matter, why is she a vegan when she was raised on steak and bacon? *sigh*

The answer is this, 'Because that is the way it is.' Complaining about what IS is a waste of time and spirit. Questioning WHY it is, is too. Finding a way to make it work to everyone's mutual satisfaction....worth exploring.

 

Soooo well said.

[Guest verthib]

Yes, dogs are different. But it seems to me that the point of having a dog is not to figure out what works for him, but for him to do what I expect. What I mean is, it's not about finding what works for him, but for him to do what I want.

 

That is just a sad outlook. I feel sorry for the dog.

 

......

 

That is where the difference lies. Different training and management methods are needed for different dogs, as they are for children, spouses, other relatives, garden pests ......

 

Beyond training differences, I do think it is useful to be sensitive to a dog's particular needs. For example, some dogs need to go out promptly after eating a meal. Others can or prefer to wait 40-60 minutes. If you insist that the first type of dog wait 40-60 minutes, you're going to have a lot of crap on the floor and that is in no way the dog's fault.

 

We'll said. My two are completely different but they're in the same home getting the same commands, same expectations, etc. While yes we generally want them to 'obey' we aren't super rigid and we do approach getting what we want from them differently - because they're different dogs with different hang ups and anxieties, different upbringings, different racing/training etc. My Aunt had six daughters (yes she's still sane!) and she didn't discipline all of them the same, and she had different tactics and methods for getting them to behave, to help in the house, do their homework, etc.

Please have an open mind and heart.

[Guest 4dogscrazy]

But it seems to me that the point of having a dog is not to figure out what works for him, but for him to do what I expect.

 

No, this is not the point of having a dog. And please don't have any children either, heaven knows what will happen if they turn out to be a dud (in your eyes).

[Newgreymom]

SaddleWags, you really don't get it do you???

[5blackgreys]

The point of having a dog as a companion and not just something that lives in your house, IS to figure out what works for the dog. If you don't want to do that then maybe it's time to find him a home with people who will.

[Guest PhillyPups]

Yes, what I wrote does seem harsh. But I still agree, as does my husband with everything I wrote. Yes, I was venting, but the fact is, his behavior is not typical dog behavior. Now you will defend that greyhounds are not typical dogs. Yes, I know that. I also know, that his behavior is not typical greyhound behavior. I do believe in conditioning. That's why my frustration exists. If we've been doing the same thing, every day, saying the same commands everyday, I expect a certain amount of recognition. Why then, does my female understand EVERYTHING and hasn't had a day of formal training, besides what we do at home?

I'll be updating with the progress of our new training classes.

 

 

Definition of insanity as I have been taught: "Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results and still getting the same, and always trying to get a different result"

 

It sounds to me like you have two different dogs in your home, "Little Miss Perfect" and "Mr. Can't Do Anything Right or as Good As Little Miss Perfect".

 

Dogs, like people are all different. I come from a family of 5 children, my oldest brother is a very highly respected community leader/politician, me I was a harley riding hippie, the other three are somewhere inbetween. My parents loved us all and understood the differences in all 5 of us.

 

As far as having dogs just to have them do what we want when we want them to, I thought that was why we had husbands, and I did what people are asking you to do with Coen, I bounced them, and they ended up in other homes.

 

My dogs all get equally called doofus/goober/nutjob/brainless wonder dog, but they all get it said with love and all of them know I absolutely adore each and every one, especially for their quirks. If you really did mean what you said in your original post, send Coen here, I have been known for taking the quirky ones in and just letting them be quirky. What he would have, as every dog deserves, is total love for the being he is.

 

Expectations are difficult to live with. If all I expect my dogs to do is breathe in and breathe out, they will not let me down. Everything else is just a gift from them. But then, I have my dogs for the sheer pleasure, enjoyment and love that my dogs and I share.

[Guest FullMetalFrank]

Wow...Just wow..

 

I have had five wonderful greyhounds share my home and my life. I also have a very smart, well-adjusted, talented and creative 14 year old daughter. I don't draw such a clear line between the way I have cared for and interacted with the former or the latter. I have a set of standards, yes; but they don't involve being perfect or doing everything I say every time or being a robot. Dogs or people. I like it when my dogs conform to certain minimal standards with my help; they must get along together, use the outside for potty; (but that doesn't mean I will kick them to the curb if they have an accident, there are sometimes extenuating circumstances), not eat my food or attack my guests, etc... I don't have them trained to do tricks or sit on command or any number of other behaviors; I do ask them to behave in public, walk nicely on a leash, greet people in a friendly manner, and anything else they need in order to be welcomed in public places. My dogs are coursers so I ask them to go out and think for themselves sometimes without me being right there coaching them; I could go on and on... My daughter follows a similar set of rules, of course geared towards a human child; she needs to be respectful but I don't expect perfect all the time; I expect honesty of her always, and her best effort; I expect her to be nice to other people but she doesn't have to like everyone. I ask for a good attitude and a spirit of adventure. I get most of these things, most of the time.

 

My greyhounds are all different, personality-wise; just like people are all different. My first greyhound was a beautiful, serious, loyal protector and faithful to the core. I fell so hard, so deep for him from the moment he came home. Iberia was, will always be, my "heart dog"... My second greyhound, Frank, who was a youngster with deep-seated fear aggression (unbeknownst to me at the time) got in a fight with Iberia and killed him. I loved them both; I had to find a way to forgive Frank or I would have lost them both. Frank had an issue that he needed my help to fix. He was flawed; imperfect; and with the death of my beloved first hound on his "record"... I did not give up on him. I worked with him and exposed him to hundreds of dogs in hundreds of circumstances over the years that followed until he finally learned that he didn't need to be scared; that I had his back; and in his last years with me he rewarded me with the gift of being able to be a multi-hound household again. He was the heart of my family. The closeness we gained over all the years of working together; it was incredible. I lost him last August after having the priviledge of sharing a home with him for almost ten years. A far from perfect dog; but perfect in my eyes and the eyes of my family. I will miss him, both of them, and my heart will never mend until we are together again.

 

We have adopted three more hounds since the original two. Chelsa who is pretty much perfect; she was a bounce from another family and learned to be a lovely, graceful lure courser; now she's retired from that and sulks quite a bit (I don't blame her, it sucks to get old.) RubyJewels, who came from JCKC and was retired because she had a penchant for interference, she's our little "airhead", she takes a good long while to figure things out; but guess what, she's a lure courser, too, now, and has learned not to interfere! She won't jump in the back of my rig; I have to lift her every time. She is a ditzy girl; but she does what I need her to do, when I need her to do it. Then there's Neon, another youngster who is a big black ball of muscle and insanity... He also will not get in the rig without me lifting him; my aching back! He was flat-out terrified his first two nights here and I had to learn quick how to soothe the fears of a very strong and determined dog who thought he might be able to escape thru my dresser mirror. He is a whirling dervish at meal times and has nearly knocked me over many times but he is making progress. Right now he's snoring in front of the fire; I think he's going to be just fine, given time. He's helped to mend mt daughter's broken heart; Frank was her dog since she was 4 years old and she connected to big ol' Nonnie right off the bat. I'll willingly trade some mischief for a big dose of heart healing.

 

I have a feeling my point I am trying to make is going to fall on deaf ears. The simple version is this: Love them and appreciate them for who they are; give them what they need and accept what they have to give in return. Otherwise you are missing the whole point of life with dogs.

[JJNg]

But it seems to me that the point of having a dog is not to figure out what works for him, but for him to do what I expect. What I mean is, it's not about finding what works for him, but for him to do what I want.

No, that's not the point of having a dog. While you may disagree, dogs are not toys or possessions that exist for humans to enjoy and do with as they wish. Dogs are living creatures, each with their own individual personality traits and characteristics. They have emotions and feelings, likes and dislikes, just like we do.

 

Dogs are also a different species from us and are not born with the ability to understand human language and culture. We choose to bring them into our lives and homes, into a world that is foreign to them. I think it's only fair that we give them some understanding and work with them to adjust to life in our human society.

 

Some dogs are amazingly adaptable and perceptive, and can pick up on human signals quickly and effortlessly, but you can't expect this of all dogs. Some need a bit more guidance. How is the dog supposed to do what you want, if you don't find out what works to communicate with him? And if there's something you want your dog to do that absolutely terrifies him, is it fair to expect and force him to do it? If you have no respect or empathy for your dog's needs and emotions, how can you possibly claim to love him? Your definition of love must be very different from mine.

 

Dogs have the ability to enrich our lives, and there is so much they can teach us if we just give them the chance. Helping a troubled dog overcome, or at least learn to cope with, fears and anxieties can be one of the most rewarding things to accomplish. But to make progress with a dog like this, you often have to be willing to look at things from the dog's perspective to understand him and figure out a way to help him. Sometimes this means sacrificing what you want, and lowering or adjusting your expectations for the sake of the dog's happiness and well-being.

[GeorgeofNE]

The OP said:

 

After so long living together, one assumes one can pick up on what's expected. I don't feel I need empathy with a dog. That's the beauty of dogs.

 

That's the beauty of STUFFED dogs.