She's So Submissive, She's Boring. Help!

[vsrenard]

This has been a fun thread for me, learning about all the hounds coming out of their shells. When I got my first, Zola, she was an aloof girl too. I was not working at the time and had waited 10 years to be in the right environment to get a dog. I wanted to spend every moment I had with her and she was so not into it. I remember being very upset about something and coming into "her bedroom" to lay beside her and cry. She gave me a look of absolute disgust, like 'Get yourself together, woman!' and walked out. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry more.

 

7 years later, she is my best friend. She barks at me every morning to get up and play, lavishes me with kisses, and gets very jealous of any attention given to Hound #2, Brin.

 

Brin is a spook of another kind. She is very playful by herself but it took her many months for her to want to hang out with me, play with me, and snuggle. She is still exhibiting new behavior, a year later. She's very fearful about new situations so I end up chatting with her a lot, in a conversational tone. What has really worked with her was for me to spend about 5-10 min a morning sitting beside her and petting her very gently. She was unsure about the behavior at first and responded with a lot of yawning and lip-licking. Slowly though, she started to paw at me, very gently, when I stopped petting. She's still not what I would call the most affectionate dog but I think she's starting to get it that this is home and we are her pack. It is a joy to watch her grow out of her shell.

 

I think that you will find when your Circe grows out of her shell, you will find her new affection all the more precious.

[Guest krystolla]

We always hear about are the ones that walk off the track and say "Finally!", immediately climbing on the couch for a nap. I think there are more greyhounds with the serious-professional personality that take some time to figure out how to be retired.

 

I had some "OMG what have I done" feelings after adopting Hack. I think it's pretty normal if you are the type of person who does TONS of research before adopting to have at least a moment of "Holy Cr*p". He wouldn't lie on his bed at all, and then after being placed on it would only lie on the very edge. He wanted to be in his kennel or in the guest bedroom away from everyone as much as possible. No tail wags, no eye contact, no vocals . . . and the poop ritual! A ten minute dance routine with twirling and sniffing and circling, if any interruption occurred he'd have to start over. Mostly, though, he didn't DO anything but lie there.

 

It was also a bit embarrassing when my dog-loving family members show up and the dog disappears like smoke.

 

But it's been a year and Hack has realized the the cushy bed is his, the toys are his, and the poop ritual can be shortened to a few twirls. He's learned that he can express excitement or happiness and the humans like it (especially the bouncy lets-go-for-a-walk dance). Basically, he needed to learn how to be retired, and not a serious professional athlete. And I think, a little, how to best communicate with humans rather than dogs.

 

I think he did start to cue off the human emotion too, if we were excited then maybe it was okay for him to be excited too. So get excited about the things that might make your dog excited, even if you get the "what's wrong with you, woman!" look. Incidentally, I'm used to the "what's wrong with you, woman!" look from all my cats and even the turtle, so the dog assuming I'd lost my marbles wasn't unexpected.

 

As for the head drooping when you approach, try petting her chin and throat to lift her head up. Maybe she's used to people trying to pat her on the head which is a relatively threatening and un-fun procedure for a dog. Ear rubs and neck rubs are much nicer, especially when approached from the side. I didn't think Hack really enjoyed petting, other than the occasional butt scritches, because he didn't often approach my husband or I for cuddles. Then I took him to the dog park and watched him insist on being petted by every human there. Not for long, but just a few pats in acknowledgment of his awesomeness and then he trotted off.

 

Anyway, I think your girl will settle in soon since she's already following you around and interested.

[Guest Elaine]

Actually, it is fairly common for first time grey adopters to get bitten, and even more common for them to get snapped and growled at .

I have never found this to be the case.

I agree with Pam. That's not to say that it never happens, but I don't know how common it is.

 

I agree with both Pam & Robin. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but I don't think it is common.

 

Elaine

[Guest Liz_in_PA]

We asked for a submissive one so that Dash could feel in charge. Eye contact took a month. She still likes to put her head underneath Dash. But after a year, her foster mom saw her at the picnic and said, "hey, she has a personality! I didn't think she had one!" We laugh. We think that she's afraid because she's all alone in her head... but this is the same girl that demands pets from perfect strangers on her walks. She snoozes next to me on the sofa with her head shoved behind my shoulder. Hiding. and snoring.

 

Just enjoy creating the trust and watching it come out. And try whippy cream for fun.

[Guest FastDogsOwnMe]

Many Greyhounds do much better and suddenly show personality if another Greyhound comes home.

 

I have a dog here who was "boring" and I really thought I would just foster him and place him. Never even contemplated keeping this boring, easy dog; he would be perfect as an only dog (unusual for a Greyhound) and he was/is so easy, he'd have been super for a first time adopter. A no brainer, right?

 

Well, big, black, five year old male got adopted, but then unexpectedly returned due to sudden financial hardship of the new owner (lay off). Time passed... he's still EASY, wonderful, lazy, and gentle, but... well... he's my BABY! He has a touch of separation anxiety for me, but me only. He is cuddly. He PAWS at me and snuggles for affection. He wags his tail. He plays. He roaches like crazy, grins, and reads my moods like a book.

 

Give your pup some time... she may surprise you. Appreciate her for what she is... Greyhounds and all sighthounds are different, but their companionship is special, earned, they don't just blindly love every idiot who comes along. This is what I love most about them- they're discerning, intelligent, and loyal.

 

Good luck, and share some pics when you can (sorry if this is pointless, I haven't read the replies).

 

J

[Guest FastDogsOwnMe]

On the other hand I have a foster brindle boy who is a nut, ran into my house, found a stuffy, and did zoomies while squeaking it... he's not the first like that I've had. He wags his tail constantly. I have had some who wag so much their tails bleed! They really do vary. He's a pain in the butt. He is food and toy aggressive (with dogs, not with people), chews anything he can get his paws on, and is one of the first Greyhounds out of dozens I have fostered to ever have an accident in my house. (That's stopped, whew!). No SA issues, though, and he gives great, slurpy kisses. And he sure is cute... but give me that lazy, dignified pup any day!

[Guest zaylea]

I've had 3 greyhounds, and it's always been different.

 

My boy Batou is a completely different dog from when I first got him. He was generally aloof, and when he wasn't, he was barking at me. I taught him to look at me when I say his name by holding a treat in front of my face. Now he's a very affectionate dog and comes when I call him 95% of the time. He's learned that it's only okay to bark at the door, and he now just whines softly when he needs something rather than barking. I taught him how to play tug of war (nicely). I was determined to get him to like kongs. This was a lot of trial and error, finding something that motivated him enough to work at it. What seemed to do the trick was to lodge a biscuit in there, and then plug it up with peanut butter. Since he was diagnosed with IBD, I switched to a wobble kong and I put 1 cup of kibble in there and a few bits drop out at a time now and then, and it's hilarious. He goes at it for an hour at least.

 

Major was automatically cuddly. Little bit of separation anxiety issues. I had to put glass doors on my bookshelves, because she would steal them one by one everyday while I was at work.

 

Aneesa was a special case because she had already been home acclimated, but from what I understand, the previous owner had kept her locked in a laundry room, and gave her back to the adoption group because she was tearing up the walls. Neither I nor her foster family had noticed destructive behavior at all. She was just automatically a sweet dog, but I never could get her interested in toys.

[Charlies_Dad]

I believe I know where you are with your girl. We have three Greys because they are incredible dogs. We also have two others, a Rat Terrier and Pug. We have had high energy dogs including a German Short-Haired Pointer and Dalmatian. We have loved them all. I will say Greys are different, however each pup is different. Out of our three, our first Charlie took a year - yes a year, to see his personality. He is now, 3.5yrs later, a cheeky, sassy boy how takes every toy from all others, whines when he wants something and will play outside or in, with or without you. Our second, Jack is a lover boy and loves his stuffies. When we first got him we were told he loves them but didn't see anything for about 6 months and now he goes crazy for them inside. Outside, he just lays in the sun. He is gentle, doesn't play with us, only alone and he is very sweet. Our third, a senior girl is much more aloof and she tends to only come to you when she wants food. She loves to run with her brothers and you can occasionally get her to play with a stuffie outside but otherwise she is nothing like Charlie. So we have three very different personalities and I guess I am trying to say, patience will show you their personality, sometimes it's weeks, usually it's months. Each pup is very different and no Grey is 'alike'.

 

I hope in time your girl shows her personality and you get to see what makes these pups so special.

 

Kyle

[Guest dancewkathylee]

I have two greys. While they both have decidedly different personalities, they both took a good 4 months to really start to show who they were going to be. My boy was older when we got him. 4 years old, like yours. I swear when we first got him I thought he'd never come out of his crate except to eat and go out for his potty walks. I didn't even feel like I really had a dog most of the time. Now he's still more laid back then my girl, but, definitely more interactive. We don't have any crates up anymore. He is always very happy to see us, loves to go on walks with us, and goes just about everywhere he can with us in the car. He's a real leaner too. My girl is 2 years younger than he. She is more active by nature but, is still showing us who she REALLY is more and more. We just got her in October. At first we thought she was going to be pretty laid back too but now, she gets me up at the crack of dawn and if I don't get up, she keeps nudging me with her cold nose and will stand back and bark at me. My boy has barked maybe 5 times in 2 years! He does, however, roooooooooooo when I start to practice my violin. Is he singing or protesting? That is the question. LOL Anyway, when I first got him, I hardly felt like I had him and now I can't imagine life without him or her. I think you'll find with time that your girl will come out of her shell and become a more interactive part of your life. Takes some time. Good luck.

[Guest dancewkathylee]

We've had our Sofia for a month as of today. She didn't seem too excited to play with toys until I found one that was light and had the right shape for her to toss up in the air by herself - she definitely gets a kick out of throwing her own toys around. AND the other thing I did was take her into the store with me to pick out her own squeaker. We methodically went down the aisle, trying out each sound and I went with the one that got the strongest reaction from her - a rubber pig that makes a deep grunting sound. I think toy selection should be a partnership!

 

 

Oh my gosh, your Sofia is so cute!!

[Guest happygrey]

Many Greyhounds do much better and suddenly show personality if another Greyhound comes home.

...

 

Give your pup some time... she may surprise you. Appreciate her for what she is... Greyhounds and all sighthounds are different, but their companionship is special, earned, they don't just blindly love every idiot who comes along. This is what I love most about them- they're discerning, intelligent, and loyal.

 

Good luck, and share some pics when you can (sorry if this is pointless, I haven't read the replies).

 

J

 

Tatam really started to come out of his shell more when we adopted Bentley. This can definitely be true. But some hounds are quieter than others. That said, a month is not enough time for a true personality to come out. Also you said that she didn't seem to really like her former foster parent -- perhaps she was slightly traumatized by his harshness. Give her time. Get on the floor and pet her while she's on her bed, encourage her to sleep with you. If she's barking when you leave, she definitely is missing you to some extent.

 

Tatam was very reserved with us, it took nearly a year for him to chatter and more than a year for him to do the "helicopter tail." In fact, I think it took a couple of months before he'd even wag his tail.

 

Bentley, on the other hand, is a complete nutball. He tears around the house, gets into stuff 24/7, climbs on furniture, climbs on us, barks at us, barks at the other hounds, loves stuffies and tears up the yard at least 4-5 times a day. He never takes no for an answer. He had full blown SA when he arrived. He's young and HIGH ENERGY. My sister likes him to tire out her Golden Ret. Any time you want to trade, just let me know! :lol (Kidding, of course! I love Mr. B to death and would never give him up. But he's a TON of work. Be careful what you wish for. )

Edited April 2, 2011 by happygrey

[RobinM]

I had to laugh reading the title. I remember when I thought my Chloe was submissive. Little did I know that she would turn into my resident crazy B I O T C H!! This crazy girl will chase me standing on her hind legs. We call her the karate kid.

 

Give her time.

[Guest Shermanator]

I agree with giving her some time. when we adopted Travel, she was a spookly little girl. Head down, wouldn't look at us, and ran if we can too close to her. we originally agreed to adopt Travel, knowing she was spooky, not realizing how bad it was. We adopted her, to give our other grey, Patton a companion, after losing Sherman after the 2 of them were together for 6 years, and Patton was never without a friend. Travel immediately fell in love with Patton, and we thought he'd be good with her, to help her out of her shell. Unfortunately, Patton began limpimg, was diagnosed with osteo and died 5 days afer diagnosis. Losing Patton was devestating to Travel. She stoped interacting to us completely, wouldn't eat or drink, and hid in the bedroom at all times. if we tried to get her out of the bedroom, she'd shake uncontrollably until we let her retreat. While e adopted Echo 2 weeks later, that did not help Travel. We were at our wits end. We couldn't bond with her. It was very hard for us.

6 months later, with some hard work, Travel is coming out of her shell.

one of the bonding activities I do with Travel, is hand feed her pupperoni (crack for her.) at first she refused to take it from my hand, and refused to come near me. Now, she'll climb in my lap for it! She's still very shy, but is more curious, and is approaching us more. I see her playing more (if she thinks we do not see her, and I can hear her bouncing around.

It takes time. One thing a behaviorist told us, is do not give into her fear. If you want her to do something, don't give into her, make her do it. For example, she used to hide in the bedroom and refused to interact with us. We purchased a 15 ft training lead and clipped her to us at night (while we watch TV in the living room), to keep her from retreating. The first several nights, she was a nervous little girl, hoping that her constant farting would keep us from making her stay with us. We didn't fawn all over her, just spoke to her in a calm voice. Soon, she stopped shaking the entire night, then she started laying down on a bed. Then we were able to unclip the lesd, and she'd stay with us. Soon she started chewing bones. Now she stays out and socializes with us untel bed time. Give her time, it sounds like she is still adjusting.

[Guest BigTurtle]

When we got Molly, she was as sweet and timid as could be. She's a great dog, but she's totally come out of her shell and taken control. I'm literally wrapped around that little paw... Give it time, you'll be her slave eventually. But, don't worry - it's wonderful to be owned by a greyhound!

[Guest IrskasMom]

Did you not say about her Foster Dad wasn't the best fit??? I am sure that Man laid already the Groundwork of her being timid. Affection ..... what is that???? She never had any and does not know what it is. Be Patient with her . One Month is no Time for a Greyhound .A Month maybe to a Year and you will see a difference. Give it some time , please . We are here to help you in any way.WELCOME

[Guest Samantha]

Im sure she will come out of herself in time. Great that your asking about it on here and not thinking of returning her!.

 

I have Maddison, she's been home 1 year now. She does NOTHING...she sleeps 18 hours a day, looks at you like you insane when you get her leash, rarely plays with stuffys for more than afew minutes, will not do stairs of any kind. She isn't a big cuddler either. Yet she will do anything for my little boy, cuddle, play, go for a walk . Im just here to feed her . Thats fine by me, I know she loves us, and we love her

 

Hope everything goes ok for you