She's So Submissive, She's Boring. Help!

[Guest FullMetalFrank]

She sounds kind of like my little Jewels... I have had 4 greyhounds total; and they all have had really distinct personalities within a greyhound "normal" range of traits, if that makes sense. Jewels is my shy, confused little one. She is coming out of her shell, after about six months. She still has that confused little look on her face most of the time; follows us from room to room, and sometimes will stand there and refuse to budge when I am calling her either up or down the stairs. Of my hounds, she is the most sensitive; requiring a very patient and gentle hand. She came straight from the track, to my group, them my home; no foster in between and that was a first for us (all of our other hounds had been in a previous home before coming to us.)

 

Sometimes we wonder if she will ever "get" it and mesh completely with the rest of the family; but then we stop and remember how incredibly far she has come since day one, when she climbed up on the table to try and help herself to our dinner; and how now she will 9 times out of 10 come down the stairs when I call her instead of me having to go up and get her with a kennel lead. She makes progress every day and sometimes she amazes me. One month really is a drop in the bucket of life and your girl will continue to evolve and change, and wrap you around her little paw, until you wonder how you ever got by without her!

[Guest dee]

I agree with everything that has been written on this thread and as the mom to a really shy and skittish boy patience and tons and tons of love are the key. Micah has been with us for 14 months now and he has learned so much. We used to say that he looked so sad all the time. Now his eyes light up when we talk to him, when we come home, over treats, etc, etc, etc! He is just now starting to give kisses! We think that's huge. I think you should tell yourself that expecting a lot from a brand new greyhound placement is like expecting a newborn baby to go to kindergarten! Micah is so special and we love him even more because we know it took a lot of courage on his part to begin to trust and show love. I used to say that if I could just look into a magic ball and know that this terrified skittish dog would be able to cope and be comfortable in our home than I would be comfortable to wait. It was the not knowing what the end result was going to be that made me worry. The encouragement that I got on greytalk really helped. It shocks the heck out of us that now we can actually say that Micah is just as easy and responsive as our other two dogs. Hang ,in there ....these dogs are worth it ten times over!!!!!!!!!!!

[krissy]

I can't say I've had the same experience as the OP, but we specifically indicated that we wanted a male. We did a lot of research and thought a grey would really suit our lifestyle (I'm a vet student, so I spend a lot of time either at school or studying... don't have the time or energy to take a border collie for a 5 mile run every day). That said though, I had a list of "wants and needs" that I gave to the adoption agency to allow them to help us choose the right dog. We had been told that the females were more aloof and "cat-like", and since I don't really like cats due to their personality and wanted a DOG I specifically said I wanted a male. My other "needs" were that he be small animal safe, quiet (no barkers... our landlord lives upstairs!), and "high energy" in that I wanted a dog that would love going for walks and outings. And that's exactly what I got in Summit. He is very quiet, no separation anxiety, he is afraid of my 3 rabbits, and he jumps to his feet any time he so much as THINKS we might be going for a walk. I think it's very important for people to sit down and really think about exactly what they need in their dog, and to find the dog that matches that.

 

That said a relationship takes time and effort. We have had Summit for 5 months and he has a much stronger bond with me than my boyfriend because I am his sole caretaker. As far as Summit is concerned my BF just lives here. I feed, walk, and train him. The BF is a petting dispenser. But I think the two biggest factors in his bonding with me were time and training. I started teaching him basic obedience at home, and then we took a Level 2 Obedience, and we're starting Level 1 Agility in 2 weeks. While a lot of the things our dogs do are based on their personality, a lot of things can also be taught. Summit wouldn't even LOOK at a toy when we got him (and he'd been in a home before us), but with a bit of creativity I taught him how to play fetch which he now LOVES! He also knows how to sit, down, settle, drop, stay, roll onto his side, target, watch me, and a bunch of obedience commands (like heeling, front, around finish, etc.).

 

Remember, you think she's boring, but maybe she's *bored*. Maybe she thinks you're boring. What do you do with her? Where do you take her? I try to take Summit to new places for walks whenever I can. I take him to school with me sometimes if I can get away with it. I take him to my friends' houses, to pet stores, to regular stores (as long as they don't sell food you can actually take a dog into a lot of shops), to different parks, walks on trails near our house, to his weekly greyhound run, for playdates with friends' dogs, etc. I try to keep him stimulated with new adventures so when we walk out the door... yeah maybe we're just walking around our neighbourhood like we usually do twice a day... but maybe we're going somewhere cool!

 

Just give her some time. A month is nothing for a dog just off the track. She'll come around.

[Guest Desonia]

TLC : tender - loving - care ♥

[Guest redreed]

Hi SillyRabbit!!! ---

 

When I adopted TigerShark I lived at home with my mom. She had a lot of the same "feelings" as you. Tiger was totally aloof, had no idea how to play, and was kind of just a lump in his bed. She thought he didn't like living with us and was really upset about it. The only thing he played with was newspaper, toys just confused him. He loved to run in the backyard, and that seemed to be his only fun. This was back in the mid-90's and there wasn't so much information available back then, so we just winged it.

 

After about 3 months he started to come out of his shell a bit, and over the course of about a year he started to play with toys, and come over for pets and hugs. He never got on furniture, if you tried to put him on it he would FREAK and jump off as quickly as possible. So eventually his aloofness turned into more of a dignified happiness. He was never a goofball, but he was a happy and gentle boy and a wonderful companion.

 

 

-- you made me laugh at the potty concentration breaking. MAKES ME CRAZY - all my hounds and several I've known have that same thing. G-d forbid something makes a noise or a car drives by, we gotta do the whole potty spot picking ritual all over again. Sorry to tell you but that's probably going to be forever, but eventually it's kind of funny (except in rain!!!).

 

 

They are a breed unto themselves and generally they haven't had a huge amount of human interaction when they first come home, give her time and lots of walks and talks. She'll be a whole different dog in a year!!!

 

Welcome to the club!!!

[Guest MonsterMomma]

We were coached, and it's not even the docile part that bothers me, I just want her to show a little bit of direct interest in me. Even just tail wagging would be nice. Every now and again it happens, usually when we're about to go on a walk.

 

Our Breanna was just like that at first. She showed no interest in us, no emotion, no tail wagging, no barking, nothing...she wouldn't even look at us. She only interacted with our other greyhound, Diego, who patiently mentored her in the fine art of living with humans. After four months, she finally started connecting with us. Now she's firmly attached to my husband, and is the most affectionate and even needy of all our dogs. After six years with us, Bree still refuses to get on any furniture.

 

For now, I hope you'll adjust your expectations for Circe. She's doing the best she can.

[Guest ctgreylover]

My first grey had no clue how to play with stuffies. When I brought Tony home 4 months later, he taught her. She never made a sound until she had a dream and was gently woofing in her sleep. It took a few months for her to open up and the first time she had a burst of energy, I got the crap scared out of me!!! All of a sudden she smiled and CHARGED at me, ran around me a few times and then went back to napping.The first time you see a dog smile can be scary - they show their teeth. She never got on the furniture until a thunderstorm scared her and she jumped in bed with me and the bed rattled from her shaking. Since she follows you, she does want to be near you.Thats a good thing. Remember, she's always lived on a track in a crate with her own space protected but always had turn out with her buddies and now she is alone with 2 new humans. Rub her belly. Scratch her ears and butt. Be patient and soon you will wonder why you were worried. Hugs to you all.

[Xan]

Oh, I've just been reminded of some of our early experiences with each of our hounds (4 total). Each one starts out with what we called "moving target syndrome". That's when they follow you around, even into the bathroom, if you let them. Since they haven't learned what your movements might end up meaning, and since you ARE the only thing moving (generally, as opposed to, say, furniture), and sometimes you dispense food, or walks ... their interest is already focused on you. They're learning you, and therefore their new environment. That's a pretty good place to start, actually. Her mind is already ready, willing and actively in LEARN mode.

 

When we first got Brilly, and he was like your Circe, he wasn't even happy to go for walks. He would "give us the head" - sort of hook his head on your leg and stare up at you, like, "Where are we going? Do you realize you're walking away from HOME??" He wouldn't do his business except at home, and if he really had to go, and we were a ways off, he was obviously anxious to return. We couldn't get him off the road and onto the dirt trails around our home except with much coaxing, praising, demonstrating, celebrating and time. Step over a fallen log???? Horrors!

 

In a few months, that dog and I walked those trails two hours a day, and the only time I "got the head" was if he thought our walk was ending too soon!

 

But he still wasn't a happy-go-lucky dog. New things would scare the crap out of him (a kid behind us on a skateboard, a train, a concrete lion on a doorstep, a trash bag that wasn't usually there ....) But, each fright that passed without his death made him that much more confident. He's pretty solid, now. Fireworks, thunder, new people, being left alone for a few hours ... Piece of cake. And then he's so happy to see us come home!

 

TONS of good advice in here, and a lot of experiences to show that yours is not uncommon, and that time will make the difference. Hang in there!

[Guest Tequila]

Sillyrabbit -

 

First, congratuations on adopting a greyhound!

 

Second, even though we've never met, I wanted to say that I'm happy you chose to come to this messageboard and post about how you are feeling. And I hope the replies have been helpful to you, and might have offered some comfort. While it doesn't immediately "fix" the situation you are in, I sincerely hope it's of some comfort to know that you are not alone, and that MANY greyhound owners have experienced exactly what you're experiencely, and truly understand.

 

In regards to the K. Gilley posting (about what it's like for a greyhound -- from their point of view -- when they get adopted), the references to "sometimes their first contact with a new family is punishment" doesn't necessarily mean that YOU did something to punish the dog (like scolding the dog or hitting the dog) -- it simply means that EVERYTHING IS NEW for your new grey. It's unfamiliar. It's foreign. So the fact that the grey might feel a little bit "lost" is the punishment. The change in environment is the punishment -- it's nothing that you might have done, or the previous foster family....it's the element of change. Sometimes change is very difficult for greyhounds.

 

But here's the good news....

The day will come, I promise you, when she CHANGES right before your eyes and does something that absolutely melts your heart. It might be a look, it might be a gentle kiss, it might be a "lean"....or it might be the fact that she merely wants to lay beside you. But you'll know it. And it will be the most beautiful, rewarding thing you've ever experienced.

 

Please, hang in there. Give her some time. She's probably just a little lost and confused. She'll figure it out. And it will be a wonderful day for all of you.

 

Kathy

[Guest redreed]

But he still wasn't a happy-go-lucky dog. New things would scare the crap out of him (a kid behind us on a skateboard, a train, a concrete lion on a doorstep, a trash bag that wasn't usually there ....) But, each fright that passed without his death made him that much more confident. He's pretty solid, now. Fireworks, thunder, new people, being left alone for a few hours ... Piece of cake. And then he's so happy to see us come home!

 

:rofl

XAN - that made me snort my coffee!!! What a wonderful description of that remarkable learning process known as "I swear, the trashcan will not fall on you and result in your maiming and painful death --- HONEST, now let's get going!"

[Guest Bang_o_rama]

A month is just getting started, in terms of acclimation. She is still getting used to her surroundings.

 

Oh and stairs. They're carpeted and soft. She hated them at first, we had to physically move her legs up for the first couple of days, but eventually she got the hang of it. But now at night when we go to bed and want to bring her into the bedroom with us, she won't come upstairs. We always take her out right before bed, so she's had her business all taken care of.

 

Bang had a strange two-three week terror of stairs about a month or two after we got her. Now she is a stair trouper.

 

 

And for some reason she hates my boyfriends office. Refuses to go in. I think it's because it's right next to the stairs.

 

Greys have a strong tendency to startle, and REMEMBER what startled them. Maybe something scared her in there; it might have been something you never saw or noticed. Occasionally Bang will get grazed by our front door as we pass through (it bounces off my toe) and will be nervous about it for a day or two. Just part of their gentle nature, I think.

 

 

Despite her lack of interest in us, she does follow us from room to room. She seems to like being near us. But that's about it. I can't seem to engage her at all. When we leave in the morning she barks about 4 times and stands at the gate, staring at us leave, but when we come back home, she acts like we've inconvenienced her because we woke her up.

 

Greys are not usually boisterous like terriers or Labs. That is part of their charm. They love just being with their pack, which is now you and others in the household. Mainly they love sleeping with the pack....

 

 

She lets us pet her and cuddle her, she's not head shy at all. But when we walk towards her, her head goes down.

 

PET that head! That is what she is asking you to do. The bowed head is VERY hound. She will soon be placing her head against your body and just...waiting. Reward her. Again, they are not OMG OMG PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!11! pups.

 

 

She's a nice dog, and I feel horrible saying this... but she's boring, and I'm so frustrated. I feel like instead of a dog I have a really big cat.

 

They are actually pretty cat-like for a dog. Wouldn't have it any other way. Which annoys our CAT no end.

 

~D~

[Guest chimni]

We've had our Sofia for a month as of today. She didn't seem too excited to play with toys until I found one that was light and had the right shape for her to toss up in the air by herself - she definitely gets a kick out of throwing her own toys around. AND the other thing I did was take her into the store with me to pick out her own squeaker. We methodically went down the aisle, trying out each sound and I went with the one that got the strongest reaction from her - a rubber pig that makes a deep grunting sound. I think toy selection should be a partnership!

 

Edited March 27, 2011 by chimni

[Guest 7ct5]

It's funny to hear so many greyhound people compare their dogs to cats .... clearly they've never lived with a Chow Chow!

 

I grew up with the breed and can relate to a lot the things you mentioned in the first post. Mine didn't play with toys, was extremely independent and not very affectionate. It was frustrating for me because I was such a dog-nut and wanted to do agility, obedience, therapy work, showmanship, etc... and although I couldn't compete at the level I would have liked with a Chow (tried as best I could), it taught me patience and an appreciation for the little things- like the times the Chow will rub up against the coach or subtly wag her tail to go out for a walk. I learned the things I could do with my dog, like teach her how to go over a jump or basic obedience (with really good meat of course ). Of course, she'd never come when called, solicit affection or learn how to fetch ... but I have learned to appreciate the other, great qualities that many "normal" dogs lack.

[nancy14]

This thread makes me very sad.

[seeh2o]

It's funny to hear so many greyhound people compare their dogs to cats .... clearly they've never lived with a Chow Chow!

 

:lol No kidding, I've never considered my greyhounds cat-like. My beloved Sheila, who I lost at 15 to old age last October, was a proud aloof Chow/Shiba Inu mix to the very end. Living with Sheila was completely like living with a cat! She was an active hunter, played with her front paws (loved tennis balls and to bounce them), always brought her kills to me on the front door step, etc. Greyhounds are much more dog like, they just have to learn how to "be".

 

This thread makes me very sad.

 

Me, too.

Edited March 27, 2011 by seeh2o

[DesiRayMom]

This thread makes me very sad.

 

 

May I ask why?

[Houndtime]

When you take in a dog, that is not a puppy and has lived someplace,or many places before, this is a new life experience for her. Every day brings something new into your girl's life. And, just like people, dogs have different personalities.

 

When we did meet and greet, I would tell people that the dog that they adopt today, will be a different dog in a year. Your dog needs time to emerge from her shell. Some dogs will walk into a home, like they have always lived there. Others need guidance with every step.

 

Don't judge her for being herself. She needs time.

[Guest chimni]

Pics of the pig because this thread makes me HAPPY to feel like I might be contributing helpful info... or at least a cute pic or 2!

 

 

 

[Xan]

This thread makes me happy, too!

When I first got Brilly, the feelings that the OP is expressing are part of the reason I found GT, which is part of the reason I got 3 more greys! It's all going to work out.

 

 

[Guest BlingDogs]

Sounds a little like Dory. We let her come out of her shell and come to us instead of constantly bugging her, and now she's a big cuddle-bug. Give it more time.

[Moonsmom]

I LOVE the pig! (Hound is great too!)... I trust it's bacon-free treats in consideration of the pig's feelings?

 

 

Pics of the pig because this thread makes me HAPPY to feel like I might be contributing helpful info... or at least a cute pic or 2!

 

 

 

[Guest Wasserbuffel]

I'm with the others. Once she's had time to ajust, you'll have a different dog.

 

Mine wouldn't make eye contact with us for the first little while either. One thing I did was to hand feed her at mealtimes for the first month or so. It meant that for every bite of food, she had to communicate with me. It really helped us bond.

[Guest katethegreyt]

Maybe it's because I've always had and loved cats, but I was THRILLED with my girl's behavior from the second she came home, haha.

 

Granted, I had a bit of a head start because she had fewer than 30 starts racing and had lived with a family for a year, so she wasn't a typical straight off the track type = )

 

Still, our girl was pretty well adjusted from the start, and we've seen a bunch of changes in her in just the 3 months we've had her. She's learned her name and will come investigate whenever she hears it (or will at least get up out of bed and peek around the corner to see if there might be a treat or scritches in it for her.) We've worked on some commands, and she 'waits' at the door when we're going out for a walk (for me, the fiance doesn't seem to think this is worthwhile because she's pretty quiet, but oh well.) She 'sits' and 'waits' for her food until I release her. She also has figured out 'sit' is often followed by tasty treats, so she will 'beg' by sitting, haha. Way more polite than most dogs I know about begging - she will just sit a reasonable distance away and stare then head off to her bed if we aren't having it = )

 

She has started wagging her tail a lot, she even roo's a teeny bit sometimes when we come home. I've had to start working on her at being calm when I get her leash because she likes to play bow then jump around and whacks her tail on everything (fiance also thinks this is silly to work on because he likes watching her play and be spastic, haha).

 

We did an obedience class, which was a bit of a bust, but still gave us the tools to work with longer-term (we were reeeeally good at laying down and staying and also heeling, so that's something). I got a clicker and have started working with her on her already established 'tricks' like her play bow (working with her to do it on command) and going to her bed. As everyone else has said, this gives you a dialogue so the dog realizes she really can communicate with you and will try harder to do so. Get a clicker, a positive training book, some tasty treats, and go for it - you might be surprised! Oh, she also picked up 'shake' very quickly and sometimes tries to do that to get a treat too.

 

Anyway, our girl sounds like she maybe came with a bit more personality, but even still - she has opened up a LOT in just 3 months and had already had a year of home living under her belt. And really, she's still a whole lot like my cats, but I've always had very friendly dog-like cats, so maybe that's part of it = ) We do try to take her everywhere with us, and I think that helps. If yours isn't spooky at all, that's something to consider. We make a point to go to bars and restaurants where she can come (we just bring her a little soft blanket or mat to pass out on), and she loves seeing all the new people. We take her in the car every chance we get, and we have a lot of friends that have started asking us to bring her over when we come to their house. I just joined our local GPA chapter and have been trying to do as many events as possible (she loves other greys). It does take new people a bit to realize she likes attention because she doesn't do a big smile and butt wag like most lab types, but she will lean in and chatter her teeth when someone starts loving on her.

 

Just be creative and patient, and I bet you'll start feeling that click you're hoping for = )

[Guest Stripeyfan]

Yep, give her time. Kelly was so quiet when we got him, and then he got seriously ill a few weeks after we brought him home, so it was many months before his personality started to emerge. He's still fairly laid back but he has a cheeky side which just makes me smile every time I see it, it was so worth the wait!

[Guest caliebsmom]

Everyone else is right about giving it time. We adopted Calieb last June and it took a few months for him settle in and he's still changing. I can't remember how excited we were when he first started to greet us excitedly upon returning. We always get tail wags, kisses and excitement when we come home now but that wasn't the case for the first few months. I just got him up on the couch with me last week. He loves his squeaky toys now and tends to surround himself with them. He even brought his stuffed bunny up on the couch with him on Saturday. I look fondly back on the dog that first came home and spent a lot of his time in his crate even when we were in a different room. Now he never goes in there and is always with us.