New Dog Poops & Pees In Driveway, Now Having Accidents Inside

[Guest Swifthounds]

One other thing though, they way you said, you want your hubby to "let you keep the foster", that kinda sounds like you are going to have to talk him into the dog, and if thats the case, anything negative the dog will ever do after you adopt him/her will just cause resentment. JMO.

This is almost funny, given how many times one person in a relationship wants to keep a foster and the other says no more dogs and the dog ends up staying. I'll preface this by saying I won't be requiring anyone's permission to acquire or keep a dog - least of all someone who isn't keeping me. That aside, if the "rub" is the dog pottying in an undesired place, that can be fixed and the issue will be resolved. If the husband wants to agree to a dog and then resent it, there's some growing up to do and perhaps need to relationship counseling. That kind of behavior only sabotages relationships.

I don't think it's funny. Chad fosters a lot and I believe he's an adoption rep, as am I. A family member not being on board with an adoption is a huge red flag. Huge. Especially if there are issues with the current dog, and that dog is also a recent adoption. That's just asking for a bounce to happen. You'd be surprised how many family members "reluctantly agree" to a dog, then it is bounced a few months later because they were never really on board in the first place. Sure they need to grow up, but the dog still gets bounced.

 

Adoption reps never do, but they also rarely realize that what looks like a "red flag" or a reason for a denial is really an opportunity to offer assistance where a family is having difficulty. Also, because different groups use different criteria, someone will adopt to that person. Meanwhile, an opportunity to offer advice and help keep the existing dog in place has been lost. Of course that somewhat erroneosly presumes that adoption reps want to offer advice and assistance and that they have valuable experience to offer, which is not always the case.

 

Bounces happen because of the non-committment on the part of an adopter, not because someone wanted the dog and others agreed. Sure, there are the rare instances of serious illnesses or major crises that lead to a hound neeing to be returned because its needs cannot be met. Most people are just not realistic about their situation or their capabilities and what they truly want. The dog who gets bounced because family members "reluctantly agree" to a dog, but were never really on board in the first place, doesn't get bounced because someone was deceitful, but because the person who wanted the dog didn't want the dog enough to stand their ground and honor the committment they made. That one family member has buyer's remorse is no reason why the dog needs to go any more than it would be if the husband reluctantly agreed to have a child even though he didn't want children, and then resented the family member who wanted the child.

[Guest LindsaySF]

Everything's a big debate with you isn't it?

 

 

Adoption reps never do, but they also rarely realize that what looks like a "red flag" or a reason for a denial is really an opportunity to offer assistance where a family is having difficulty.

You are assuming that most adoption reps that deny someone for adoption will then drop them like a hot potato. How do you know there is not assistance or advice offered? How do you know that the denial is not absolute, but just "not right now"? I even said in my post to the OP that I would hold off on adopting the foster dog until the current issues are resolved. Not that they can't/shouldn't adopt another dog ever.

 

Keep in mind, if the person is fostering a dog they should be in regular contact with their group anyway, so there should be open lines of communication for suggestions/advice already. If the group is aware of there being issues in the home with the other dogs and/or family members not wanting to adopt another, they are not going to sign off on that home adopting their foster dog, not if they are a responsible group.

 

Do you volunteer for an adoption group? What adoption reps do you have experience with? Because it sounds like they kinda suck.

 

 

The dog who gets bounced because family members "reluctantly agree" to a dog, but were never really on board in the first place, doesn't get bounced because someone was deceitful, but because the person who wanted the dog didn't want the dog enough to stand their ground and honor the committment they made.

That may be true in some cases, but there is only so much "standing their ground" that people can do with their spouse. Most people, given the choice between bouncing the dog or getting a divorce, will bounce the dog. The whole point is that it shouldn't come down to a situation like that. You can avoid something like that by not adopting to a home where everyone isn't in total agreement about adding to the family.

 

 

That one family member has buyer's remorse is no reason why the dog needs to go any more than it would be if the husband reluctantly agreed to have a child even though he didn't want children, and then resented the family member who wanted the child

That happens all the time too. But it is considered more socially acceptable to rehome a dog than it is to rehome a child. To people like us our dogs are our children, but most people don't think that way. Dog vs. husband, most people are going to pick the husband. It shouldn't happen, but it does, all the time. It's the responsibility of adoption reps to avoid placing dogs into homes where this seems likely to occur.

 

 

 

 

~Lindsay~

Edited June 10, 2010 by LindsaySF

[Fruitycake]

That one family member has buyer's remorse is no reason why the dog needs to go any more than it would be if the husband reluctantly agreed to have a child even though he didn't want children, and then resented the family member who wanted the child.

 

 

I have to say that this does happen entirely too much of the time. Sometimes this is why children end up neglected or abused, and sometimes this is why they end up growing up without their father because they left. Some people should not be forced to be parents, and some people don't want other dogs (or any dogs) in their house. Marriage is a contract, and both parties have to learn compromises. But forcing another to accept something they don't want because the other one does, seems wrong to me. It can be a marriage breaker.

 

I'm not indicating that the OP is trying to push her husband into something he doesn't want, but that she's trying to smooth the way for something she does. If she can get the dog to stop doing behavior that is unacceptable for him, he'll see that dogs can be trained and that she's working with the dogs to make his life easier. It sounds like a good compromise to me.

 

I think there were some very good suggestions here. Block access to the areas you don't want poop, even though that too will be a hassle for a while. Escort the dog to the right place to potty (is it possible to give the dog its own spot to potty, where the other dogs don't? a special area of "the potty hill" area?) and reward reward reward. I'm also wondering if there's reluctance to go to the potty area unless pushed to that area because it is dirty. With the cleaning off of the driveway the dog knows there's no poo to step in or other dog dropping to worry about.

 

The suggestion with the newspaper is a good one. I never thought of that (well, not for moving but for catching like the other poster that uses plates - we do that with Monty sometimes when it's particularly bad - but he's always pottied on leash).

 

Good luck.

[Guest TeddysMom]

Everything's a big debate with you isn't it?

 

 

Adoption reps never do, but they also rarely realize that what looks like a "red flag" or a reason for a denial is really an opportunity to offer assistance where a family is having difficulty.

You are assuming that most adoption reps that deny someone for adoption will then drop them like a hot potato. How do you know there is not assistance or advice offered? How do you know that the denial is not absolute, but just "not right now"? I even said in my post to the OP that I would hold off on adopting the foster dog until the current issues are resolved. Not that they can't/shouldn't adopt another dog ever.

 

Keep in mind, if the person is fostering a dog they should be in regular contact with their group anyway, so there should be open lines of communication for suggestions/advice already. If the group is aware of there being issues in the home with the other dogs and/or family members not wanting to adopt another, they are not going to sign off on that home adopting their foster dog, not if they are a responsible group.

 

Do you volunteer for an adoption group? What adoption reps do you have experience with? Because it sounds like they kinda suck.

 

 

The dog who gets bounced because family members "reluctantly agree" to a dog, but were never really on board in the first place, doesn't get bounced because someone was deceitful, but because the person who wanted the dog didn't want the dog enough to stand their ground and honor the committment they made.

That may be true in some cases, but there is only so much "standing their ground" that people can do with their spouse. Most people, given the choice between bouncing the dog or getting a divorce, will bounce the dog. The whole point is that it shouldn't come down to a situation like that. You can avoid something like that by not adopting to a home where everyone isn't in total agreement about adding to the family.

 

 

That one family member has buyer's remorse is no reason why the dog needs to go any more than it would be if the husband reluctantly agreed to have a child even though he didn't want children, and then resented the family member who wanted the child

That happens all the time too. But it is considered more socially acceptable to rehome a dog than it is to rehome a child. To people like us our dogs are our children, but most people don't think that way. Dog vs. husband, most people are going to pick the husband. It shouldn't happen, but it does, all the time. It's the responsibility of adoption reps to avoid placing dogs into homes where this seems likely to occur.

 

 

 

 

~Lindsay~

 

There are people on GT all the time saying "I have to talk my DH or DW into adopting another hound" but they go ahead and adopt. Should there be a huge red flag attached to them or do they get to adopt because someone knows them and knows it is a figure of speech or just a joke? One spouse talking the other into something happens all the time, doesn't it?

 

I think my DH knows that if he put it to the test, him or my dogs, he would be finding a new place to live. I figure he could take care of himself, the dogs can't.

[Guest 4dogscrazy]

The best way to train a stubborn dog, is to become an even more stubborn human.

 

This. This, this, this. I've been in wars of will with my dog as we get adjusted to each other, and I've found that the key is to just not be in a rush. If I don't go into things prepared to wait him out, it becomes much easier for him to win. So I nth the recommendation to sub-fence the area you want her to potty in, bring her in there, and just wait her out. Bring out a book and a chair. Or, hey, a flask. Whatever will keep you content while you wait. When she goes, happy dances and treats abound and you can take her back outside the fence to the house.

 

And as a side note, please don't feel too attacked by what people are writing - this is a pretty opinionated group, and almost inevitably if one person says A, there will be another person who feels A is zomg everything that is wrong with the world, and then three other people who want to talk about A vs. B instead of the original topic, and then some dude in a moose-antler hat wants to do an interpretive dance of the role A plays in his life...

 

Ok, maybe not that last bit. But it's best to let of the value-assigning comments roll off your back, as you're doing, and remember that we're all just a bunch of people trying to feel our way to what's best for us and our dogs

 

Okay I too agree with all of the above, preferably the flask for me!

 

In all seriousness, one of my dogs goes on my sidewalk out back, and it annoys me immensely. Problem for me is that it is right by the gate, and it NEVER fails that one of them will poop on it when I'm cutting the grass out front (after I've cleaned the back yard) and then try to bring the mower back through. Good thing it's not one of DH's dogs, or I'd be annoyed at him too! I have no idea why they like to go to the potty there, although it makes sense that they like the corners of the fence, which is where the trouble spot is here. My boy also pees on this one bush, that I am trying desperatly to grow grass underneath, so I'm thinking I might move some obsticales (like lawnchairs or something) onto my trouble spots to train them to go somewhere else. It will look stupid sitting out in the middle of my yard, but so be it. I'm voting for putting up the plastic fencing in your case. None of my dogs will go on a leash, which isn't really a problem for me right now, maybe some day I'll try to leash train them to potty, but that's another topic ~haha

[Guest Greyt_dog_lover]

Swifthounds, nice thread hijack. Now go ahead and have the last word.

[Jackandgrey]

Oh I think the OP has already been driven away. Never mind the hijack.

[NeylasMom]

Oh I think the OP has already been driven away. Never mind the hijack.

Yeah, no kidding. Not to mention that I wasn't even certain the OP was saying she wanted to adopt her foster, but rather just that she wanted her DH to be okay with her continuing to foster the dog rather than ask for the foster to be moved. There's no way to tell really from what the OP said and yet people have launched this whole debate...

[Guest TeddysMom]

Oh I think the OP has already been driven away. Never mind the hijack.

 

It's a shame that a lot of newbies get scared off after asking for advise and then either getting slammed or the thread turning into a big debate about whats right and wrong. They just give up and quit posting at all.

[Guest LindsaySF]

Oh I think the OP has already been driven away. Never mind the hijack.

It's a shame that a lot of newbies get scared off after asking for advise and then either getting slammed or the thread turning into a big debate about whats right and wrong. They just give up and quit posting at all.

Uhhh...... Your post (#29) was continuing the debate Teddysmom. I've chosen not to respond, I don't want to derail this thread any further.

[kamsmom]

In the off chance that the OP hasn't gone away... I feel for ya. I have a dog that would do their business on the patio. Drove me crazy. The urine smells and the poo left stains and I like to entertain on the patio.

 

I did the fence thing. I slowly blocked off the patio except for an area for her to walk out to the grass and every single time I had to follow her out to make sure she went to the yard and not on the patio. At first she would challenge me a bit. She still sometimes will go just to the edge of the patio and turn around backwards, keeps all four feet on the patio but squats with her rearend just off the patio edge goofball. But, it is in the grass where it is easier to wash away and not smelling up the concrete

 

Good luck and I hope you return. It can be done but it takes time and persistance. I have had Carmen now for almost 4 years and I think it took a good year for her to realize that the patio was not her personal toilet.

[Guest TeddysMom]

Oh I think the OP has already been driven away. Never mind the hijack.

It's a shame that a lot of newbies get scared off after asking for advise and then either getting slammed or the thread turning into a big debate about whats right and wrong. They just give up and quit posting at all.

Uhhh...... Your post (#29) was continuing the debate Teddysmom. I've chosen not to respond, I don't want to derail this thread any further.

 

I know I am as guilty as others on some issues. We all are passionate about our dogs which is a good thing most of the time. I am just a lot more gutsy than a lot of new people and continue to post even through the critisisms. I still do feel sorry for new people sometimes, just a point I was trying to make.

[Guest Swifthounds]

It's funny how those who diverted the thread away from the OP's original request for help with the suggestions aimed at anything but helping the OP with a training/behavior issue, then followed that with passing judgment on what the OP obviously included as extraneous information in explanation of her motivation, now take such issue with a tangent - as if their "suggestions" were productive at all...

[Guest Fluffy]

Ok, looking at my program, now it's time for the guy in the moose antler hat to make an appearance. Hm, he must be running late...

 

OP, if you're still reading, please do keep us updated on any progress/lack thereof.

[RobinM]

I think my DH knows that if he put it to the test, him or my dogs, he would be finding a new place to live. I figure he could take care of himself, the dogs can't.

 

oh, am I with you on that!

[Guest Swifthounds]

I think my DH knows that if he put it to the test, him or my dogs, he would be finding a new place to live. I figure he could take care of himself, the dogs can't.

 

oh, am I with you on that!

 

[Guest SillyIzzysMom]

I'm sorry. . .I'm still stuck thinking about the poster who said that they knew people (or they themselves) used a paper plate to catch their dogs poo on walks. . .I'm just trying to imagine what someone driving past that would think. . ."mmmm. . .a snack for later. . ."

 

I also feel sorry for folks who get hammered on this forum. I would certainly hesitate about to a question that might get folks all judgy. You'll notice it's almost always newbies that this happens to. The rest of us have learned that while greytalk is a wonderful place full of people who really love greyhounds. . .it is also A LOT of jumping to conclusions and piling on that happens time and time again. I certainly would hesitate to post about a problem I was having with a dog. . .I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one.

 

And back to the original post--I too get annoyed when my dogs use the sidewalk for their toilet. We had a foster, Beetle, who would take three steps out the door--still on the sidewalk--and let loose on the wall of ivy growing on the house. I would walk out with him and if he started to pause there just give him a gentle "ahh ahh" and he'd look over at me and then go pee in the grass. He learned quickly not to do that IF I was out there with him. If I was inside (watching thru the window) he'd happily use his handy sidewalk-toilet. He was very ornery! And now, if it's been raining and the grass is wet, Millie will do the all-four on the patio and lean the bootie off--but she misses sometimes so there are some little sidewalk gifts for me pretty often.

[Guest Fluffy]

I'm sorry. . .I'm still stuck thinking about the poster who said that they knew people (or they themselves) used a paper plate to catch their dogs poo on walks. . .I'm just trying to imagine what someone driving past that would think. . ."mmmm. . .a snack for later. . ."

 

That was me! And I am sure I look like a crazy lady holding a dog leash, a plastic shopping bag, and a pile of paper plates (the plates go into the shopping bag once they've been, er, annointed). But I've made peace with looking like a crazy lady in favor of less poop stress!