Adjusting

[Guest twhitehouse]

So first off, I will say that I am paranoid they our newest addition with have separation anxiety! I can't help it after all we went through with Lexi.

 

Tess has been adjusting unbelievably well. She seems very confident and is curious and fearless. She is already playing with toys and roaching and it's only her 4th day with us.

 

But I'm wondering, is it normal for the new dog to be a little whiney when we leave after their first couple of days? I'm guessing this is the time she's really starting to bond with us and since everything is still so new she's obviously going to be a little nervous. She was really following us around this morning while we were getting ready for work, etc and she whined a little when my BF left and then I heard her whine a tiny bit as I was locking the door when I left.

 

We've been doing alone training and yes she does whine, but she also seems very relaxed. No pacing, panting, barking, etc in her crate. She just seems to whine a little. She doesn't seemed stressed. She was even whining, while she was roaching in her crate.

 

So just tell is the whining normal? Any other tips you can give us to help her adjust to being alone?

[Guest Jubilee251]

I'm no expert, but for what it's worth, Molly whined and cried when we left those first few weeks. She was not destructive, didn't pee or poop in the house, didn't hurt herself, but just cried on and off for about 30 minutes. It's gotten better with time, so it might just be a normal part of adaptation.

[RobinM]

Some well adjusted dogs just whine.

 

Ask my Beau- he whines when he is happy, sad, stresses, relaxed....he's just a whiner!!!

[Guest PiagetsMom]

I would imagine that she's starting to put together the "mom and dad's leaving" clues/routine right about now. Little things you don't think about, like, I usually wear tennis shoes around here, but when I'm going out, my casual shoes have heels that you can hear on the floor - that's usually my pups' first clue. Then, when the front bedroom door gets closed and the office baby gate gets closed, Mom's gonna be leaving shortly. At that point, Mirage is usually following me around and pretty much sticks with me all the way to the door as I leave.

 

As many problems as you've had with Lexie, I'm sure you know more than I could tell you - I've just always tried to keep my leaving low key, with a "go lay down, I'll be back", and that's always worked for us. Hopefully once Tess understands the whole routine - Mom leaves, Lexie and I are by ourselves for a while, Mom comes home - she'll be more comfortable with it.

 

edited to add: Since I think you were mainly asking about the whining, Piaget has never whined, Mirage is my whiner. He whines in anticipation of being fed, of going out, when he knows a walk is coming, and sometimes when I'm busy and he just wants my attention. I agree that unless there's more to it, I'd ignore it when Tess whines while you're leaving and don't give her more attention for it - a quick leave is always better.

 

And, probably the most important thing for you, is try not to be anxious or nervous when you're leaving......easier said than done, especially with what you've been through with Lexi, but this is definitely one of those times that I believe if you're anxious, they pick up on it, and they become anxious in return.

Edited February 17, 2010 by PiagetsMom

[45MPHK9]

Bee Wiseman does a fair amount of whining, too.

[Guest Harry702]

Whining a bit is pretty typical of dogs adjusting to home life. Some whine a bit, others whine more, but as you're aware, as long as she's not showing obvious signs of distress, I'd just ignore it. Whatever you do, do NOT respond in any way... that will teach her that whining gets the response she's looking for (attention, freedom). One thing to be aware of... with some of our fosters, they'd start out quiet, and would start to whine when left alone after a few days, and, in a few instances, the whining would get worse for a bit (trainers call this an extinction burst... when the dog realizes something isn't working, and actually tries harder/does it more often before eventually giving up).

 

As long as you don't notice obvious signs of distress (and I know you've seen those first hand), I'd try to relax and ignore her.

[Guest LindsaySF]

It's normal. The whining might even increase a little as she gets more attached to you and figures out the clues that you're leaving. As long as she doesn't seem freaked out (the roaching is a good sign ) I wouldn't worry.

 

Most dogs get over the whining eventually. Teagan used to cry when I left but now he doesn't even blink an eye. Some dogs (like my foster Sooner) whine when you leave, but settle down as soon as you're gone. Clancy still barks when we leave the house but once we're gone and he can't hear us anymore he's fine.

 

Sophie and Honey will often whine from their beds. It means they want something but are too lazy to get up.

 

 

 

~Lindsay~

[Guest Bang_o_rama]

When we first got Bang, she would whine and carry on when we left, but that tapered off pretty quickly. Now she whines AT us. Low, mournful whining, because she's the saddest dog ever when we try to sleep in till 7:00 on weekends, or if we go to the bathroom and shut the door, or, basically, any time we don't pay enough attention to her.

 

She's developed into quite the demanding little pup!

 

--Gina

[greysmom]

Sounds normal to me. A little whining is OK - she doesn't want you to leave! - and you already know what a bad reaction is. As long as the neighbors don't report excessive whining/barking/rooing I would try and relax a bit about it.

 

How is Lexi doing when you leave?? Is she any calmer??

[Guest twhitehouse]

Sounds normal to me. A little whining is OK - she doesn't want you to leave! - and you already know what a bad reaction is. As long as the neighbors don't report excessive whining/barking/rooing I would try and relax a bit about it.

 

How is Lexi doing when you leave?? Is she any calmer??

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, I know. I do need to relax. I told you, I was paranoid!

 

Lexi is doing okay. She doesn't really seem calmer, in fact there was an "accident" in the house yesterday. But adding the new dog has kind of changed our routine, so once she gets used to it, I think she will be okay. Overall, I think Tess will really help once things are more settled. She's absolutely fearless and I would think that's going to help Lexi a lot. *fingers crossed*

[NeylasMom]

Hey Toni! I missed the announcement on your new addition - congrats!!

 

Regarding your question, I have one piece of advice for you - RELAX! She sounds like a really confident girl, and she's not an only so the chances of her having SA are slim to none. Perhaps the only thing that could cause it would be her picking up on your nerves. So relax.

 

Otherwise, you know the drill - crate some of the time that your'e home, keep entrances and exits low key, do some basic obedience with her, practice some NILIF, and do some basic alone training - she'll be fine. I repeat, she'll be fine.

 

FYI, she sounds like she might just be a talker, but given your descriptiuon of her, she may also be one of those girls who's just a little full of herself. So do your best to ignore the whining completely so you don't reinforce it. Or turn it into something positive when she whines when you're home and take her out with a short leash, ignoring her completely, tell her to go potty, reward if she does, and then either way bring her straight back in and put her back in her crate. You'll have a perfectly house-trained dog in no time.

 

Okay, more than one piece of advice.

[Guest 4dogscrazy]

My boy was a constant whiner when I first brought him home. He still whines if someone is in his crate, he wants a snack, he wants to go outside, someone has his blue unicorn, lol the list goes on and on. He is just a talker. It is very hard to ignore though, so I understand how that would make you nervous, kind of like a baby crying, it triggers a nurture response. It's hard to ignore him, I've put my hands over my ears to block him out! VERY hard not to reinforce! She sounds like she is just testing the waters and expressing her displeasure. I think you have a talker on your hands! Congratulations on your new addition and the slip ups from Lexi are to be expected, I would think. I can't even move my furniture without my Tempe having a break down.

[Guest FastDogsOwnMe]

A little whining at first is no big deal. Just don't make a production, don't be anxious... that makes it worse. Easy to say, right? Most of mine "chirp" as DH calls it when I leave (they are not loose if I am not here, except the senior- cats, baby, etc, etc) and they are in the master bedroom where we spend most of our time (me and the dogs). We just ignore it. If someone starts singing and they all start singing, DH (or I if it happens before I leave) smack the door to the bedroom and they stop I am a stay at home mom so they're probably crated maybe two hours per day three days per week.

 

I cannot recall the last time I went somewhere without them where DH didn't go with me though (and in that case we have no clue what they do). The worst is Meet N Greet day. If it's freezing out everyone comes and they take turns and go back to the van. But if it's over 65 I won't do that. So most Saturdays I have to let them all out, bring in just the ones being left, crate them with treats/bones, and then sneak the others inside and leave as quietly as I can.

[Guest twhitehouse]

Ok everyone...thanks! I'm relaxing.

[GeorgeofNE]

Keep in mind she's NOT alone!

 

The adjustment would have been much tougher for Lexi as an only dog. Your new girl has Lexie to show her the ropes and keep her company.

[Guest LindsaySF]

So most Saturdays I have to let them all out, bring in just the ones being left, crate them with treats/bones, and then sneak the others inside and leave as quietly as I can.

That's how I sneak some dogs away to M&G's too.

[Guest Sunset123]

We're working on this, too.

 

I'd been mixing up my morning routine and not making a big show of leaving, as suggested, but eventually she figured me out and will follow me around all morning. What I've started doing is giving her peanut butter-filled Busy Buddy toy (similar to a Kong) right before leaving every morning in order to make my exit a positive thing to look forward to instead of a tragic daily event. She gets excited when I take it out of the freezer and hardly bats an eye when I leave. I'm still trying to play it cool, aside from the treat, but this seems to lessen both my anxiety and hers.