When Does It Stop Hurting So Much?

[Guest jenznaz]

I lost him June 9. I've stopped feeling depressed every single time I come home because he's not there. I've stopped staring at where his bed was next to mine and crying. But tonight I went in the closet into his box of things to get the Furminator for my mom to use on her cats. I had to move his big bag of uneaten food to get to it. And seeing his treats and the orange cooling coat I bought for him in it's package, that he never even got to wear, was too much. It just hit me like a ton of bricks all over again.

 

Sorry to make this "all about me" time, just needed to say it to people who understand.

 

Thank you!

Edited August 12, 2009 by jenznaz

[Guest greytful4]

Awww Jenn, it's gonna take as long as it takes! I still grieve for my girl.Her collars and coats are still where they were.I'm just a phone call away...

[Guest greymama002]

[KF_in_Georgia]

Sorry. It keeps hurting hard.

 

It just doesn't hurt as often. And in between painful reminders, you'll find some good memories: times he was silly, times he was lovey-dovey. You'll remember more of the reasons those 4 years were so wonderful.

 

And although it's painful now, I bet you wouldn't want to erase those 4 years, just to erase the pain you've got now.

 

But I am sorry you're hurting so much.

[Charlies_Dad]

Time will dull the pain and you will remember him with a smile...it just take time. Easy to say from afar but our thoughts are with you and understand the pain you are going through.

[fourofem]

I feel for you, honey. It's been almost five months and I still get upset over Lewis...certain things, nothing in particular, will get me thinking about him and eventually, I end up crying. I think it's all part of the grieving process and we all do it differently. Give it time.

[Guest fargosmom]

I still miss the Fargo-dude, and his little sister Sachi. It's been years but their collars still hang in our living room, with their portraits.

Maybe you could spend some time with your local adoption group helping with new dogs - you sound like you have a lot of love to offer and even if it's too soon to adopt again yourself, you could spend some quality pup-time and know you're doing them some good.

None of these sweet creatures are with us long enough.

Best wishes to you - hang in there.

[Guest redreed]

 

The pain changes, it becomes bearable, then one day you'll smile when you think of him and the pain will change again to something more gentle and not so hard on the soul. It's always going to hurt though - it'll just catch you at the odd moment, but it's different with time.

 

Thinking of you and wishing you peace.

[Guest PhillyPups]

 

I don't know if the pain eases or we get used to it. I still cry over all of mine and some left years ago, I never know when it is going to hit from out of the blue - I think of the song The Dance by Garth Broo”s, and I would have not missed one step of the dance.

 

[CaliforniaGreys]

 

The pain changes, it becomes bearable, then one day you'll smile when you think of him and the pain will change again to something more gentle and not so hard on the soul. It's always going to hurt though - it'll just catch you at the odd moment, but it's different with time.

 

Thinking of you and wishing you peace.

 

Well said, and very true

[Batmom]

Just hugs.

[Guest LANDOLISA]

As I type with tears in my eyes, I'm not sure if the pain ever stops. It will lessen, but for me it is all to real. Just know that there are plenty of "Friends" here on greytalk that gives support. I know a few have reached out to me and it has helped with the pain. I miss mine so much, and I share your pain.

 

God Bless.

[dex95lucy]

Jen, I too, am typing with tears flowing freely. I understand. It's one month now for me. Some hours are okay, others are full of tears and regrets. The tight knot is still often in my chest and throat. I am sure you know all about that.

We understand.

 

gentle hugs,

sue

[Guest 3greysinPA]

[BertnLil]

[Guest Flysmom]

Time. Time will help to ease your pain.

It has been nearly 8month since I lost Kira and nearly 5 month since I lost my Fly and I have good days, especially with Cisco and Poncho around to help me heal, but I still cry for the 2.

[Guest MnMDogs]

I'm sorry It's been over 3 months since Matty girl died, and I find myself in tears every every now and then missing her terribly. It's not as bad as it was 3 months ago, or 2 months or 1 month...but it's there.

 

 

[robinw]

as greytful4 said, i guess it takes as long as it takes. it's been 2.5 months since i lost loca and i still miss her terribly. the tears are slowly being converted to smiles, but it's still very painful

[Guest greytgrandma]

:grouphug it will get better. Never quite goes away completely but it will get better with time.

[Guest ss556]

Like redreed said the pain changes, it becomes bearable. I lost Alan 4 months ago and it still hurts. I miss him so especially when I come home, but I don't cry everyday anymore, I am able to smile most times when I think of him. He is still here, all around me. The pain was so unbearable at times, I didn't know what to do. We all grieve differently and you will feel better in time, it will become easier. It's only been 2 months - hang in there. Hugs to you, this is a tough road.

[MP_the4pack]

He visited with you.

 

 

Ten years ago I lost Topaz. (and yeah I still cry once in a while).

 

I lost her in December. The following April I called an Animal communicator to ask how Onyx was adjusting and other stuff. I then asked if Topaz was coming back. She said she was with me in the room with the trophy.

 

I couldn't think of what she was talking about. I have a very small house. No fireplace, no mantle, no shelves with trophies or ribbons (I have no kids). She said it was like a dog show trophy.

 

Then it hit me. Just 3 days earlier I was in the basement going thru a bunch of dog stuff looking for something for Onyx. And I came across Topaz's little straw hat that I picked up in Dewey 2 months before she died.

 

I have never bawled that hard before in my life. I cried rivers.

 

After talking with the communicator, I went back down into the basement, and not 6 inches away from the pile of dog stuff was a box of horse show winnings. Sitting right on top of all those ribbons was a horse show trophy.

 

Topaz visited me that day that I cried so hard.

 

 

 

[Guest 4greytful]

It really is comforting to know that we are not alone in our grief and other people share the same extended sadness. I haven't put anything away yet either, and I still tear up whenever I think of them. You never realize what a huge impact they have in our lives until they are gone.

[Guest Elwood]

Stacy and I just lost our little peanut Steph yesterday and I wish I knew how to make this hurt and heartbreaking sadness I feel go away.

I guess it'll take time but right now I can't see it happening any time soon.

I've been crying for 24 straight hours now and I'm emotionally drained but I just can't stop

Edited August 12, 2009 by Elwood

[Guest LANDOLISA]

You never realize what a huge impact they have in our lives until they are gone.

 

I know what you mean, I actually feel guilty to this day. I think maybe I took my two for granted and did not love them enough. I miss them so much, and still cry everyday, Wish I had them back.

[Guest Heehoo]

Its a gradual thing.