crazygang Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Dogs live in the now and don't dwell in the past.............try to do the same. Don't beat yourself up. Quote Run free our beloved Sir Snowy, Pip, Queenie, Sadie, Tess & Rosie until we meet again......I would rather feel the thorn than to never see the rose Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SoulsMom Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Oh Dear Susan, please be kind to yourself. You did everything you possibly could for her and she knows it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest IrskasMom Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 I am so , so sorry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ohiogreymom Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Just sending big Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greymomnc Posted May 1, 2009 Share Posted May 1, 2009 I am so sad to read your letter because it shows how much your heart is hurting. Please think about how you would feel if someone else had written that letter. Would you think it was their fault and blame them? I know you wouldn't. You would have something kind to say and you would mean it because you knew how much they loved her and they did everything possible to help her. Don't be harder on yourself---you don't deserve it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BellesDad Posted May 1, 2009 Share Posted May 1, 2009 You did what you could. She loves you for it and is in a better place now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest how888 Posted May 1, 2009 Share Posted May 1, 2009 I remember the story and I just want you to know we all care and are here for support... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luvskinnies Posted May 1, 2009 Share Posted May 1, 2009 (edited) It is obvious how much you loved her. All any of us can do is what seems right at that moment. Please don't beat yourself up, you did the best that you could. She is free of pain now and that is what matters. I write this with a lump in my throat because I've felt this way in the past, having to go over and over every detail and wishing that I could somehow just go back and change my decisions. Take comfort that you did the best that you could at the time and she is at the rainbow bridge running free now. Edited May 1, 2009 by luvskinnies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
queenwinniesmom Posted May 1, 2009 Share Posted May 1, 2009 I wish that we all had words that could take away your pain. Words are not magic, but if you listen to them with your heart, you'll realize that so many people understand how you're feeling. And maybe that will help you a little. You've gotten some excellent, insightful advice, and I hope your feelings of guilt will not prevent you from knowing that what they are saying is true. I think it helps to put your feelings down on paper, maybe it will help you to let them go. I hope that you can also write of your love for Penny, and hers for you. Changing the focus of how you remember your life together will remind you of the happiness that surely overshadows the sadness towards the end. Assigning blame and internalizing that guilt is holding you back from moving through the grieving process as we all have to do. You have to ask yourself how Penny would want you to remember her. I have to do that a lot, dealing with the death of my heart dog Nick, who we lost before we even knew he was so very sick. The fact that I wasn't with him (he was at the evet when he died), haunts me still. But I can't let that steal the essence of his joyful spirit away. If I do, I've lost him twice. I always remember that he was more like laughter than tears. And I know how blessed I was to have him in my life. I hope that you are able to think of Penny that way, because it's clear that you loved her deeply. Please try to put those thoughts on paper as well. And please share them with us if you can. Quote Nancy, Mom to Evangelina and Kiva Missing Lacey, Patsy, Buster, my heart dog Nick, Winnie, Pollyanna, Tess, my precious Lydia, Calvin Lee, my angel butterfly Laila, and kitties Lily, Sam and Simon My Etsy shop: http://www.etsy.com/shop/Catsburgandhoundtown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jurishound Posted May 1, 2009 Share Posted May 1, 2009 Hi Susan, I am so sorry you are feeling such deep pain. With every single grey we have lost, I have endured so many sleepless nights wondering whether we did too much, or not enough. It is clear from your letter that everything you did for Penny was only in her best interest. How lucky she was to have a "mom" who loved her so much! I hope that time takes away your pain and leaves you with only good memories of your special girl. Joslin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Energy11 Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 I am sooo sorry for your loss! When Bold Energy got sick, we took him to the E-vets. They found his intetines had "telescoped" and therefore, it stopped the natural movement of waste through his body. Looking back, it might have been a form of bloat. He spent the night at the E-vets, with fluids, valium, and painkillers. That morning, I called the E-vet and she said, nothing had changed, and it would require MAJOR ABDOMINAL SURGERY, to help fix the problem. Energy was 11 at the time ... I opted against putting him through this. MY GUILT stemmed from the fact, I WAS NOT THERE FOR HIM when he died! You see, at the time, I didn't THINK I was strong enough to handle it. I had lost a husband to cancer only a year prior, ... I did all his care, and it was a living nightmare. I felt soooooooooooooo guilty for not being there with him! So much so, I have been "there" for many many GH friends who have gone through this, and for two of my seniors. Because of what I felt, I jumped head first into GH adoption/rescue, and did everything I could to help the hounds ... especially the seniors. IT REALLY HELPED! What made me feel better, was adopting my Curfew. This boy was a mess. He had been dumped in the Ocala (FL) Nat'l Forrest, and lived out of a dumpster in the back of a small bar/restaurant for months, until being captured in a humane trap. He went to Animal Control, then GPA Greater Orlando. I met and adopted this boy THE DAY AFTER Bold Energy went to The Bridge. Helping him to stop being afraid, and loving him, really helped me, too! We helped each other ... Now my poor boy is sick ... we think, a brain tumor. I HOPE to have the vet come HERE to send him when the time comes... The Guilt??? Time will help, and as one of the other posters said, ... hug your hounds, love them, and you hubby. YOU DID THE RIGHT THING for your baby, and she is out of pain and running free. I DO KNOW HOW YOU FEEL! Hugs ... D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4greyhounds Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 Please know you did everything you possibly could......... Please know that we can only do what we think is the best for them, In lost my Champ only 10-days after his dental, and it tore me up for so long but I had to finally realize he forgave me, and he knew I loved him with all my heart and soul, I really feel has has sent me some signs to say Mommy is it is ok I am doing good. I feel your pain but please know you did all you could... :grouphug Quote Darlene Mom to: Aladdin, Sophie ,Pongo, Jasmine, Relic Forever in our Hearts Champ at the Rainbow Bridge. Let a greyhound race into your heart Adopt Bay Area Greyhound Adoptions INC. Naples/ Fort Myers Chapter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tornadosgirl Posted May 2, 2009 Author Share Posted May 2, 2009 Thank you all very much for everything you have said. It helps so much. Having Finn (who is a brother/cousin to Penny) has really helped. He has so many traits that Penny had, but yet he is different than her. I need to print out these posts and read them. A lot. Just a note about filing a lawsuit. In Massachusetts, dogs are considered property, and therefore one can't sue for malpractice. If we did sue, we could only get the "replacement value" of the dog. Anyway, I know the vet hospital learned a huge lesson and has changes many practices because of this incident, so that's what is important to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackandgrey Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 She loved you and you loved her with a very powerful love. The legacy of that love should never be guilt. Let that go now and smile at the wonderful memories of your sweet girl. You both deserve that. Quote Susan, Jessie and Jordy NORTHERN SKY GREYHOUND ADOPTION ASSOCIATION Jack, in my heart forever March 1999-Nov 21, 2008 My Dancing Queen Jilly with me always and forever Aug 12, 2003-Oct 15, 2010 Joshy I will love you always Aug 1, 2004-Feb 22,2013 Jonah my sweetheart May 2000 - Jan 2015 " You will never need to be alone again. I promise this. As your dog, I will sing this promise to you, and whisper it to you at night, every night, with my breath." Stanley Coren Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Carla Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Susan, I know you feel terrible about losing Penny. You did what you thought was right -- anyone in your shoes would have done the same thing. Penny loved you as much as you loved her. I have to agree with the others -- do not beat yourself up. Yes, be sad, angry, upset. Cry, scream and swear if it makes you feel better, but do not feel guilty. Hugs, Carla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Baloos_Mom Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 The only thing we, as loving parents, can do is make the best decisions we can....we are not God and thus cannot know the future...all we can do is our best. I do know that she is a for real angel now and would NOT want you to feel guilty over whatever you think may have been poor decisions. She is at peace and would want the very same for you. We oftentimes do feel guilt but I think the best thing is to think of what our love ones would want for us and you know in your heart she wants nothing but the best for you~~~just like you did for her! Hang in there, I too know, all too well how hard this is! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scullysmum Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Hindsight can be both a blessing and a terrible curse.....just remember that you did what you thought was best for Penny at the time, she would not have expected any more of you....I know it is hard, I have been through this guilt myself and sometimes it still eats away at me but I did do what I thought was right, I learned some important lessons and I will go on trying to do what I feel is right, not be hampered by the fear of doing something wrong in an attempt to do the best for the ones that I love. Forgive yourself, Penny would not bear you any malice...she was a dog, they are not capable of it. Quote <p>"One day I hope to be the person my dog thinks I am"Sadi's Pet Pages Sadi's Greyhound Data PageMulder1/9/95-21/3/04 Scully1/9/95-16/2/05Sadi 7/4/99 - 23/6/13 CroftviewRGT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brandimom Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 If I was a greyhound, I certainly would want you as my mommy. She was so fortunate to have you take such good care of her right to the end. There isn't anything else you could have done so please do not beat yourself up. You were a wonderful grey mommy and Penny knew it. I think it is normal to question ourselves and feel the guilt but you should not feel that guilt. Your GT family is here for you. I am so sorry............ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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