My Ted Is Gone And Not Coming Back

[Guest tedsmom]

i honestly do not think i will survive this---the pain of losing ted has brought me to my knees several times today. i know i should take comfort in knowing he is at the bridge but i dont want him there i want him here with me. coming home today was so hard knowing he would not be here to greet me. someone in my group said i should still come to the m and g's but how can i without ted? i saw a greyhound in a car today while i was driving home and it just about killed me. my ted is gone and he is never ever coming back and i dont think i can deal with it. i went for a quick ride on aero today--aero the horse no one wanted because of all of his medical issues--and we talked about ted--and i started crying so hard we had to turn around and come home. reading everyones posts made me sob and sob and want to scream with pain. for fleeting moments today i would think oh yay tomorrow is the plymouth meet and greet but suddenly remember ted was gone and to my knees i would go again. why did this have to happen after we found each other? i loved him so much and he was taken away from me and its not fair..i have to end this because i am going into hysterics--thank you for your support....

[Guest nikki]

Oh, I'm so sorry, I don't really know what to say. Someone sent me this once and I loved it's meaning and have posted it here to share:

 

 

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.

 

 

I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then someone at my side says: “There, she is gone!”

 

“Gone where?”

 

 

 

 

Gone from my sight. That is all.

 

 

She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side, and she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port. Her diminished size is in me, not in her.

 

And just at the moment when someone at my side says, “There, she is gone!” there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout:

 

 

“Here she comes!”

 

And that is dying.

[Guest sherpays]

Tedsmom...I am truly sorry for your heartache.

[MilliesMom]

You will survive this. It just shows the depth of your love and devotion to Ted, and isn't that a miraculous thing? You've got an angel watching over you, and when it's time, you'll love again.

This might help:

I don't remember where they are, but there are a couple of sites in which there are online services for our pets who have passed. The greyhound site goes Saturday nights; the other one is worldwide and it's on Monday nights. You can post Ted's name there. The database has over 60,000 names from around the world. All that love is quite amazing, isn't it? There's also a place called Greyhound Memorial Park where you can erect a cyber-memorial for Ted.

You are still in shock. It will get better (and then worse, and then better), but just as we mourn for our human loved ones, time will heal. You've lost a beloved member of your family. This is very understandable.

Hang in there, and welcome to the board.

[Guest KaseysMom]

Tedsmom, again I am so sorry. I know your heartache. It is just awful when they leave suddenly. I lost my Sarah, a keeshond very suddenly. She became sick one Saturday morning, throwing up. We rushed her to the vet. They determined her immune system started attacking itself. She had to stay at the emergency vet that weekend. We visited with her every second we were allowed to. She was so sick. My whole being just ached. Then, that Monday morning our vet referred us to the vet school. We rushed her right over, and they thought she would pull through. We were allowed to visit with her that Monday evening. It was the last time we saw her. Her doctor phoned me in the middle of the night to say Sarah wasn't doing well. She phoned back 30 minutes later to say we were losing her . . . they had resusitated her twice. I could actually hear the heart monitor machine beeping, then slow, then the sound was constant. My Sarah passed while I was on the phone. We went to the vet school at 5am and picked up her body. The three doctors assigned to her case met us, and all three of them cried with us. While I have several bridge kids, Sarah's death (10 years ago) was the hardest.

 

GreyTalk has helped me tremendously. I'm crying now, as this is the first time I've been able to speak about it. I commend you for posting about Ted. You helped me.

 

Your days will get better. It will take time, and someday you may feel Ted nudging you to save another grey. Hugs.

[Greytlady94]

I am so very sorry. Your pain is so terrible, and I understand that. I still cry for my grey angels, I always will, and you will always cry for Ted.

Without a great love, there would be no great loss, but then we would miss out so much if we didn't give that love. I have to believe that my grey babies have gone to a better place where there is no pain, no stiff achy joints, no illness, just beautiful clouds and rainbows, and all of their friends who are also there, and I know that they are helping Ted, showing him around, while they watch out for us, and eventually lead us to help another. Grieve, and cry and remember, for as long as it takes, and at some point, your memories will allow you to smile a little through your tears, remembering.

[patricia]

I am so sorry. I have once again alerted my Bridge Angels that yet another babe is coming to join them...they will show Ted around and help him settle in.

To have loved and then said farewell, is better than to have never loved at all.

For all of the times that you have stooped and touched my head, fed me my favorite treat and returned the love that I so unconditionally gave to you.

For the care that you gave to me so unselfishly.

For all of these things I am grateful and thankful.

 

I ask that you not grieve for the loss, but rejoice in the fact that we lived, loved and touched each others lives. My life was fuller because you were there, not as a master/owner, but as my FRIEND.

 

Today I am as I was in my youth. The grass is always green, butterflies flit among the flowers and the Sun shines gently down upon all of God's creatures.

I can run, jump, play and do all of the things that I did in my youth. There is no sickness, no aching joints and no regrets and no aging.

 

We await the arrival of our lifelong companions and know that togetherness is forever.

You live in our hearts as we do in yours. Companions such as you are so rare and unique.

Don't hold the love that you have within yourself. Give it to another like me and then I will live forever. For love never really dies, and you are loved and missed as surely as we are.

[Guest Julie S]

To Tedsmom,

 

I don't know what will help, since I've not found anything to stop my heart from breaking each time I think of Rory. He passed on from Bone Cancer 5 mths ago and it feels like it was just yesterday.

 

I too had one of those "bring me to my knees, crying times which has been going on the past 2 days.

 

The only thing that keeps me going is Rory's sister. I keep my Spirits up for her. I know she cries too for her bubba and misses him as much as I do.

 

Also I believe in reincarnation and am going to wait a while before adopting another Grey to see if Rory comes back to us.

 

Mayfe and Reincarnation are what's doing it for me. I think it's something that each of us has to figure out on our own, what keeps us from falling apart.

 

Now I have a question. ??? I've had dogs and cats in the past that has passed on. With Rory it was a lot lot different. There was a bond there like nothing I've experienced before with other animals. Is this common with Greyhounds? Rory & Mayfe are my first 2 Greyhounds that I've ever adopted.

 

Thank You,

Julie

[Guest javalover1123]

Molly, hang in there. This is the hardest part about loving but it is worth it. Don't feel bad for grieving. You just need to get it all out. I agree with what someone else said, someday you will feel Ted nudging you to tell you it is time to save another Grey! when that time comes, open your heart.

 

Also, know that the folks at GT will always be here to listen when you need to talk. We all feel your pain.

[Guest cindysmom]

Whatever we were to each other, that we still are.

 

Call me by my old familiar name,

speak to me in the easy familiar way

you always use.

 

Play, smile, think of me.

 

Let my name be ever the

household word it always was...

 

Life means all that it ever meant.

 

It is the same as it ever was;

there is unbroken continuity.

Henry Scott Holland

 

Molly, I copied this over from the previous thread below. This has helped me with my losses in my life. I know words can't take all the pain away, especially right now, but I promise, it will get better in time. Just know the love will never go away.

Edited April 26, 2003 by cindysmom

[Bevd]

I'm so so sorry for the pain you are feeling. I know it probably won't help very much at all at this moment when I say that I firmly beleive that Ted hasn't gone very far from you at all, it's just his furry casing that's no longer in sight, but the really important part of him - his soul - is right there with you and always will be.

 

BEYOND THE RAINBOW

 

As much as I loved the life we had

and all the times we played,

I was so very tired and knew my time on earth would fade.

I saw a wondrous image then

of a place that's trouble free,

where all of us can meet again to spend eternity.

I saw the most beautiful rainbow

and on the other side

were meadows rich and beautiful

lush and green and wide!

And running through the meadows

as far as the eye could see

were every sort of animal, as healthy as could be!

My own tired failing body was fresh and healed and new

and I wanted to go run with them

but I had something left to do.

 

I needed to reach out to you

to tell you I'm alright,

that this place is truly wonderful - then a bright glow pierced the night.

'Twas the glow of many candles

shining bright and strong and bold

and I knew then that it held your love in it's brilliant shades of gold.

 

For although we may not be together

in the way we used to be

we are still connected by a cord

that no eye can ever see.

So whenever you need to find me

we're never far apart

if you look beyond the rainbow

and listen with your heart.

 

(author unknown)

[silverfish]

Tedsmom - I do know how awful you must be feeling just now. Believe me, the pain will start to fade in time; not today or tomorrow, but eventually.

 

I don't know if you read of Susan's illness and death on GT or if you came after that, but we took on an old brood bitch who turned out to have kidney cancer. She wasn't diagnosed until the day of her death. We only had her five months (most of which she was ill) but as others have said, the length of time you have a dog makes no difference when you love them so much. I was able to be with her when she died but I do have terrible feelings of guilt sometimes when I remember little things which should have given me a clue how bad she was, and didn't. With Ted, at least it was a fairly quick thing. Try not to worry too much about him dying alone - while dogs do love having their people with them they are much more self-sufficient than we are, and much more accepting of death. With a blood clot I doubt he would have known much at all, they can be very quick.

 

I lost Susan in March, and for a while I was in the same kind of state you are in now. I cried every single day and half the night. It DOES get better.

 

Some things that helped me were printing out the messages of condolence, lighting candles for her, buying flowers for her, planting a tree and a rose with her name in her memory, and reading those wonderful verses and little pieces of prose that people on GT put up her for us at times like this. And there were several wonderful people, some of whom have turned into good cyber friends who took the time to email me with messages of support and comfort. Another thing was when someone pointed out to me that feelings of guilt are a natural part of grieving - everyone has them.

 

So be kind to yourself and give yourself time to grieve properly. Bevd said to me soon after I lost Susan, don't be surprised if you see or hear her in the coming days and weeks. And I did have 'visits' from her which were a great comfort to me, too. Once I sat with her white teddy in a chair and hugged it. After a while I had to put it down because it had got so warm, and later someone else who'd lost a greyhound told me it was probably a visit from Susan - she had herself had feelings of warmth from her dog, and the heavy feeling of his head in her lap.

 

So look out for signs of Ted still being with you, and I bet you will find them.

 

And don't let anyone tell you to pull yourself together or that 'it was only a dog'. They don't know what they're talking about.

[Guest TheMackeyPack]

Tedsmom, I really know how you feel. We only had Roo 4 months but when he was diagnosed with bone cancer at the young age of 4 and he went to bridge, I cried and cried. I actually chased after the vet tech screaming NOOOOO when she came to help us bring him in, but I knew in my heart I didnt want to see him suffer. It was a 24 hour period between thinking he just broke his leg and his death.

grieve, you loved him and you deserve that. We are here for you

Deb

[Guest TorynUs]

I am so sorry. I just have to post the quote that is on the business cards of our adoption group we got our wonderful companions from (Greyhound Adoption of Ohio). The quote is:

 

"Please let me die as someone's pet so that I will always be remembered."

 

There are many greyhounds (animals of all kinds, for that matter), that never get to know the love and human companionship we can give. Ted was lucky.

 

Ted will always be in your heart, right where he should be.

And it is right for you to grieve. Everyone grieves differently and for different lengths of time. But you are grieving because you loved him--Take care and know we are here for you.

[Guest Nan]

Ted, you were so loved! I know you share this with us all. I hope you have a special grey picked out to send to your sweet loved one . We will be so happy to hear of the new grey that comes after, but you my friend will never be forgotten. Sending love, peace, & special wishes to you all.

[HJsM]

I wonder if you know just how much of a miracle it was that Ted found YOU. Not just that you found him. I hope it will give you ANY comfort to know that Ted KNEW HE WAS LOVED at the end. And this fills me with awe.

 

Prayers for your peace.

Edited April 26, 2003 by HoJo's Mom

[Guest Aaleigha]

I am so very very sorry for your pain

[greyhoundlov]

We had no warning about China's cancer. The day she was diagnosed was the day we helped her cross. The suddenness of it was part of the reason I think it hit us so hard. I know you are in a lot of pain right now. Those of us who have lost our pets empathize.

 

Cry and scream as much as you want. That is part of the grieving process.

 

One day you will feel better. In the meantime, please know we are all here for you.

[Guest kats_n_greys]

So sorry to hear about your pain, it will get better nobody can say how or when , but it will.

Eventually the memories of the joy he brought will overtake the pain.

[PatricksMom]

Molly, again, I'm so so sorry that you lost Ted. You will survive, even if it doesn't feel like it, but take all the time you need. It's obvious how much you're hurting, but remember that Ted is happy, and loves you so much, and will never hurt again.