Guest vwagner1 Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 I have dreaded the day I had to write this. And here it is, more painful than I ever imagined. My face and eyes hurt so much from crying. Will the pain ever go away? Kim was my foster baby over 3 years ago. I knew within minutes in my house, she was there to stay. We bonded right away and she was my shadow from that day on. She started having seizures a few months after I brought her home but I knew to look for them because because she had had seizures at the track and that was why she was retired. She was on a kill truck to be put down, and Rescued Racers came in to save her. She fit in so well with the family right away. She is the best dog I have ever known. The seizures kept getting worse and she got to her limit on Phenobarbitol so we added potassium bromide to the mix. She has had toxic levels in her system for quite some time. We kept trying to reduce the Kbr but she would have cluster seizures. We upped the pheno again which caused her incontinence to be much worse and she was having lots of trouble with that, even on PPA. All drugged up, she was hardly the dog I adopted. Still very loving and my shadow but she had no energy, couldn' t run, or even go on walks. She kept collapsing from the side effects of the medication and would get stuck in a spread eagle on the floor screaming. Her right lip began to droop and the vet suspected that she was having mini strokes as well. We have battled getting her meds straight for a year and half and they still weren't controlled. Oh how I hate the seizure monster. Vet also suspected a brain tumor because of other strange behaviors. When she clustered last weekend, I decided I couldn't put her through this any longer. She seemed uhappy to me just pacing and panting with anxiety and then falling over in exhaustion. I felt it was time. I took her this morning after a big steak breakfast and lots of kisses and treats. God it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Now I am second guessing myself that maybe if I would have given her more time we could have figured out the medication. I can't stop with the what if's now. She went to heaven in my arms with me kissing that sweet, soft fact crying how much I loved her and cared for her. Telling I am so sorry we couldn't fix her. How unfair it all seems. I pray that God takes her under his wings and that she waits for me to join her one day. God bless you little Kimmie! We love you and miss you dearly! Please understand we did what we thought was best for you to put you out your pain, anxiety, and get you away from the seizure monster. Run with your brother Hank. Run like you haven't been able to do for a long time. Love you sweetheart! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest vwagner1 Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 Here is my sweet love Kim. Bye beautiful girl.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest seniorhoundlover Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 She knows you loved her, beautiful girl. She is running with the angels now. Though it is hard, please don't second guess yourself. You knew when the time had come and she probably did too. Having dealt with the seizure monster ourselves recently, I can so relate. Godspeed, sweet Kimmie! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guinness_the_greyt Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grey14me Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 Oh Vicki, I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet girl, Kimmie...your post made me cry. Don't second guess yourself, she was counting on you to be strong and to help her when she needed it Quote Michelle...forever missing her girls, Holly 5/22/99-9/13/10 and Bailey 8/1/93-7/11/05 Religion is the smile on a dog...Edie Brickell Wag more, bark less :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest argolola Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 I am crying with you over the loss of your precious girl. Please rest assured that she is an angel now, and looking down on you. The heavens will be brighter tonight. God bless you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jeannejj Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 Vicki, my heart breaks for you. You have done the hardest and most loving thing, let her go to the Rainbow Bridge to be free. Run free, sweet Kimmie! Be kind to yourself. Jeanne Mandy, Mack, Charlie and Mason Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracey Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 I am so very, very sorry for your loss. Please try not to second guess yourself. You did everything you could for Kimmie and I'm sure she loves you for it. And now she is whole and happy and running free. Quote ...............Chase (FTH Smooth Talker), Morgan (Cata), Reggie (Gable Caney), Rufus (Reward RJ). Fosters check in, but they don't check out. Forever loved -- Cosmo (System Br Mynoel), March 11, 2002 - October 8, 2009.Miss Cosmo was a lady. And a lady always knows when to leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greymomnc Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 She is a beautiful girl. I know you are missing her right now. Don't second guess yourself. The best thing to do is not always the easy thing to do. She is o.k. now, and in time, you will be too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MySkye Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 The hardest thing to do is love them enough to let them go. You are a GREYT mommy to endure all you have for a year plus! I admire your strength. We are recovering from surrending my sweet Skye this week as well, and the grief is overwhelming at times and the ache so bad it steals the breath from our very chests. I found amazing amounts of support and love from total strangers in this forum over the last few days and I am sure you will as well. Our Bridge Angels are safe and whole and HEALTHY and that is a great comfort to me and soon it will be for you as well. What a gorgeous baby. Warmly, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheFullHouse Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 Vicki, please don't second guess yourself. You did everything possible to help your little girl. She knew the happiness of a home and the love and devotion you had to give to her. You can only do what you feel in your heart is right and you did that. We too deal with the seizure monster here also so I know exactly how you feel. Hugs to you. Godspeed sweet Kimmie. You are now seizure free. Quote Judy, mom to Darth Vader, Bandita, And Angel Forever in our hearts, DeeYoGee, Dani, Emmy, Andy, Heart, Saint, Valentino, Arrow, Gee, Bebe, Jilly Bean, Bullitt, Pistol, Junior, Sammie, Joey, Gizmo, Do Bee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BrockGusDad Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 I am very sorry for you, Vicki; but I am not sorry for the now and forever pain-free Kim. Godspeed sweet Kimmee..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fawn_Molly Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 Your post moved me to tears. I am very sorry for your loss of Kimmie. I have no doubt in my mind that she knew you loved her very much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest OnecoRose Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 Here is my sweet love Kim. Bye beautiful girl.... 1612185[/snapback] She is surely an angel, and is with the angels. She will meet my Chloe who left me Dec 3, still the love of my life. I know how you feel, fly free little girl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LBass Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 Such beautiful girl with such a beautiful spirit. Please don't second guess yourself--you made a loving decision for your sweet girl. Peace and comfort for you and freedom from seizures and medications for beautiful Kim Lucy and Piper (still facing the "seizure monster") Quote Lucy with Greyhound Nate and OSH Tinker. With loving memories of MoMo (FTH Chyna Moon), Spirit, Miles the slinky kitty (OSH), Piper "The Perfect" (Oneco Chaplin), Winston, Yoda, Hector, and Claire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest princessmommy Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 My heart goes out to you Vicki. You did what your heart told you was right for Kimmie -- she counted on you to do that for her. She is not suffering any longer. She will be watching over you from a beautiful place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iluvgreys Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 My heart aches for you, Vicki. You did everything possible medically, and loved your darling girl for 3 full years, which was truly a gift to her. The final, greatest gift was to do what's best for her... release from suffering. She is with all of our beloved Bridge angels now, whole and healthy again. Godspeed, beautiful Kimmie. Quote Jeanne with Remington & Scooter the cat....and Beloved Bridge Angels Sandee, Shari, Wells, Derby, Phoenix, Jerry Lee and Finnian.....If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heavenand bring you home again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Becki Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BellaDonna1 Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 I am so sorry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Peanut Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 Hugs to you and your family. I'm sure Natalie was waiting their to show her the way - away from the seizure monster they've both been freed from. Hugs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robinw Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 i am so very sorry. you made a very loving and courageous decision; one that was made in her best interest. i think you were very lucky to have found each other Quote Xavi the galgo and Peter the cat. Missing Iker the galgo ?-Feb.9/19, Treasure (USS Treasure) April 12/01-May 6/13, Phoenix (Hallo Top Son) Dec.14/99-June 4/11 and Loca (Reko Swahili) Oct.9/95 - June 1/09, Allen the boss cat, died late November, 2021, age 19. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovemydogs Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 What a beautiful girl. Just looking at her in her pretty dragonfly collar just brought me to instant tears. We deal with seizures, also, so I understand your frustrations. Kimmie was loved like she deserved by your for 3 years, and that is much better than many animals get. Thanks to you for loving her so much. She will wait patiently for you at the Bridge, and will be comforted by all the wonderful creatures that have gone before her. I bet she's already racing up a storm! God Speed, Kimmie! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Aggie94 Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Winterwish Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 Kim is so beautiful. I'm so sorry for your sadness.Please take comfort in knowing one day you will see each other again,& it will be forever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NancyJ Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 Hello Vicki, I had to put my beloved Pete down at the end of June. I had him for two wonderful years. Your decision was the correct one--we have to think more about our animals than we do ourselves. That's what you did. Take pride in this. Yours was an act of love. Kim knew this. Godspeed, sweet Kim. Nancy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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