Bailey's In Trouble

[queenwinniesmom]

I'm so sorry you and your poor Bailey are going through this nightmare. You must be physically and emotionally (not to mention financially) exhausted. I think we all share your frustration of not knowing just how to help her. And God knows, you've tried in every way possible. I wish I had the magic advice that would lead her out of this frightening place, but can only offer prayers and white light. When you look into her eyes, do you feel that she wants to be here? You know her best, and love her so much. If and when it comes time to make the most difficult decision, please know that you will do what is best for your precious girl. But prayers are still going out that you will have much more quality time together.

[Guest argolola]

Checking in on Bailey this morning.

[Guest ss556]

How is Bailey doing?

[greytpups]

I am so sorry to hear this...sending lots of good thoughts this morning.

[Guest vahoundlover]

Thinking about you guys

[patricia]

Sending more prayers.

[Guest WCorder]

Well - last Thursday was terrible. I posted about it over on Bailey's Blog. recap, she was stuck in a bike when I got home from work. I don't know how long she'd been there. Then she wandered out to the back gate, which was odd because she hadn't wanted to be outside for a couple of months. But it looked like she wanted to go out into the park, so I took her for a little halting walk. On the way back, just at the trail by my back gate, she started to throw up and my phone rang. Yep, she's there throwing up, and her neurologist calls for an update. It was so hard to hold it together to talk to her. She insisted that I take her off the doxycycline, so now she's on nothing. If I want to go ahead with the spinal tap, it would cost $600 (plus hospitalization fees . . .), but she doesn't really think that treating Bailey for GME would change the problem with her eating. I'm force feeding her, about 8 times a day. She's a pancreatitis girl, so I have to stick with normal or bland food. And she wants to be fed, I've been force feeding her since Saturday May 10.

 

Well, I just can't do it for much longer. The day after she was stuck in the bike, Friday, I ran downstairs after work to find that she was stuck behind a tv speaker. Now, I'd "Bailey-proofed" the basement the night before, looking for anywhere she could get her entire body stuck, and here I find her in the dead roach position, with just her head stuck behind the speaker. She wasn't in any duress - but she hadn't used the bathroom all day - so was she stuck all day?

 

Then, Sunday morning, I'm out (in my bathrobe and no shoes) in the back-yard with her. She wandered down to the back gate and stood there looking out for a few minutes; then wandered through the ivy into a thicket of brush and got stuck in a forsythia bush. DH woke to the sound of me calling her and trying to get her to come out; I didn't want to walk in there! There's snakes and poison ivy. But I had no choice. By the time I got her out, DH was all "So do you really think it's a good idea to let her wander back there???" . . . oh hi, and a nice good morning to you too. . .

 

We wake up every time she moves at night and take her outside. I woke once to find her trying to get behind the dresser, stuck behind the floor fan. And another time, just as I was opening the door to take her outside, she squatted and peed right there, practically on my feet.

 

It is so frustrating. This is not how I want her to spend her final days. Force feeding, being carried outside time and again, us trying to stay a step ahead of her outside, so she doesn't go into a thicket, under the deck, up the steps . . . it's maddening. When she's up, and especially outside, she's constantly trying to get into something unsafe. Who knew my backyard, and heck, even my basement, were such minefields of danger.

 

It has to stop. She has no quality to her life, and I can't keep her safe. She's gotten so thin, that she could fit through the rails on the deck. This morning, I thought she was going to jump.

 

I think this is how you know it's time. I'd been wondering. But now I know.

Edited June 2, 2008 by WCorder

[Guest vahoundlover]

[Guest ss556]

I'm so sorry.

[Guest argolola]

I am so, so sorry to hear the update. May God bless you all. (I can't stop thinking about her.)

[Guest koolaidnconner]

Our prayers are with you...

[Aerosmom]

It is so hard being a caregiver when your dog can't talk and tell you what they want to do. We went for a long time with Cricket -- with me using a harness and cleaning up accidents and helping her get up, etc... because we still had hope that we could do something for her. I also think that she still loved us and being with us. When she lost her ability to pull up in front I knew that there was really nothing else to do. She was also a young dog, who just turned six in January, a month before we said goodbye to her.

 

The stress of the care, the stress of not knowing whether you are making the right decision, and the horrible stress of watching your loved one and not being able to help is really hard. You are a really wonderful mom to Bailey and hang in there. I'm sure she knows how much you are trying to help her.

 

Is the spinal tap going to provide you with answers you can help Bailey with, or just answers to help you make decisions? I think your neurologist should help guide you in the right direction. Sending prayers that something can be done to help your Bailey.

 

[Guest WCorder]

The spinal tap is to confirm the GME diagnosis. But, since she's 12 and so thin and sick, she believes that whatever decision we make is the right thing to do. Mostly because she hasn't eaten on her own for a month, she doesn't have much confidence that her life can be extended even to the probable maximum of 12 more months.

[Guest jurishound]

I remember when I was struggling with the decision of whether to let our beloved grey go, our vet told me about her nephew, who had been very sick with a fatal illness and how difficult it was to watch him suffer. She mentioned how fortunate we are that we can let our beloved pets go humanely and end their suffering. I do hope that you and Bailey can reach a decision together about the course that would be in her best interest to take. Gentle hugs coming your way, and an extra special embrace for Bailey.

[Guest trevdog]

I do know what you are going through....it's a tough call to make....she still wants to be with you but her body isn't getting better.....and it's stressful on you both......

[Guest koolaidnconner]

kisses and hugs for everyone....we will be thinking about you....take care

[Aerosmom]

I feel for you. When I was deciding about Cricket, someone on GreyTalk said that they live in the moment and they don't regret the loss of their tomorrows. It really helped me stay strong and feel comfortable with my decision.

[3greys2cats]

I am so sorry to see that Bailey is not getting better, she has been on my mind since we exchanged emails, I wish that there was something else that could be done for her, the poor baby has suffered and you have along w/her. My prayers that God will help you through this, Aerosmom has been through this, as I have, it is so frustrating and painful to see them struggle and not coordinate their balance. Greys are beautiful, graceful dogs who are about movement and I struggled w/prolonging Sara's life if she could not walk on her own, I understand your hopelessness. Hang in there, GT is the best support group, I am sending hope your way in bucket loads.

[Guest EmilyAnne]

The choice to euthanize, is one that only you can make, but if you wanted my opinion, based on what I have read, and not having the benefit of being there in person, I think euthanasia may be the kindest thing to do. When Alfalfa's time came, I held as strong as I could until he was gone, then pretty much lost it. I didnt want Alfalfa to worry about me. I thought of Alfalfa's passing as his true healing, and being released from his painful body. Alfalfa was also 12 when he passed. I am a firm believer, that dogs really do go to heaven. There is a Heaven, dogs have souls created by God, and all dog souls go home to God in Heaven when they are done here. I am praying for your strength through this time. Whatever you decide, we are all here for you, and we all care very much about you & Bailey. You have a place in our hearts.

 

I want to add: it helps, as you decide, and I know you are hurting fierce, to remember, not all the pain is necessarily that Bailey's time to go home may be near, but also the stress, of these last few weeks, and watching her suffer. There is a relief to look forward to when the suffering is ended but at the same time there is a sorrow.

[Guest shelbygirl07]

I am really really sorry to hear about bailey. I have been reading your updates and it breaks my heart to see you and bailey have to go through this.

 

I can say this for sure, when it is time, Bailey will let you know.

 

I want to say something but don't want to upset you because I know how hard this is for you. I, too, have experienced many losses of dogs and pets over the years. It is the worst feeling in the world to have to go through and my heart breaks while I write this...

 

I honestly think that she is getting stuck in these places on purpose because she is looking for a place to lay down and rest. Our Samoyed did that for the last 2 weeks of her life. She would wander off into the woods and we would find her there, alone, waiting to pass. We asked the vet about it and the vet said that it is common for dogs to go off and want to pass alone. They pick the spot and that is where they want to be when it happens.

 

Our first Pom did the same thing. We took her to her favorite park and that is when we knew it was time, by her behavior. She layed down under her favorite tree and just went completely silent and still. We had our vet come to the house that afternoon and send her to the bridge so we could all be with her when the time came.

 

Our second Pom went to each member of the family and was acting bizzare by kissing us and nestling in under our chins and after she did that, she went to my dad's bed where she had stairs she could climb. She climbed the stairs for the last time and passed away peacefully in the place that was her favorite napping location. We all got the distinct impression that she was saying goodbye since she had this sadness in her eyes. We talked about sending her to the bridge for 10 minutes and by the time we finished discussing it, she was already gone. It was so sudden and so strange that we still have not gotten over it. In all my life, I've never had a dog do that before and I hope i never do again.

 

I hope that this is not the case with Bailey and that some miracle happens where Bailey makes a full recovery. If not, I hope you find strength to do the right thing for her.

 

You are in my thoughts and I wish you the best of luck. Please keep us posted.

 

Love,

Sam, Shelby and Boo

[Guest Naty]

I am so sorry that you and Bailey are going through this ordeal. I remember our vet say the same thing that Jurishound mentioned - in their job, the capability to offer euthanasia was what she considered both the most rewarding and most difficult.

 

I can't say anything new that others haven't said, other than to offer you my heartfelt support. To this day, I know that the moment that I made the decision to give Troy my final act of love was when my bond with him was the strongest.

 

Take care, and hugs to Bailey and you.

 

 

 

[Remolacha]

I am so sorry Baily isn't getting better. I understand your frustration, you are right that the quality of life is the key to making the decision. It is heartbreaking when their spirit says they want to stay with you, but their body is failing.

[Guest WCorder]

I thought my DH was getting on board. But we didn't get a chance to talk much. I was dismayed when he was pointing out how she was behaving, holding her neck stiff, so wobbly, and asking if I thought she was confused or if she just wasn't seeing well when she would head under the deck or into a thicket. . . "What does it matter?" I thought. He had started questioning how long we could go on like this the day before, and then he seemed in denial.

 

I want it to end before it gets dismal. I'm afraid for her.

[Guest koolaidnconner]

I thought my DH was getting on board. But we didn't get a chance to talk much. I was dismayed when he was pointing out how she was behaving, holding her neck stiff, so wobbly, and asking if I thought she was confused or if she just wasn't seeing well when she would head under the deck or into a thicket. . . "What does it matter?" I thought. He had started questioning how long we could go on like this the day before, and then he seemed in denial.

 

I want it to end before it gets dismal. I'm afraid for her.

 

I am so sorry....I can't imagine the pain this must be, I have not had to lose an animal in about 15 years that I was so close to. You may just have to say it in plain english to him, not to make fun of anything but men tend to flip flop or deny when they just don't want to deal with anything. You need to be the "slap in the face" of sorts for him.

 

Take care give Bailey many kisses, she knows you love her.

Edited June 3, 2008 by koolaidnconner

[Aerosmom]

It's so hard. After the vet gave Cricket her injection I really felt at peace -- it is such a hard road watching them suffer and decline and hopeless trying to do things to help. If your Bailey is in pain, that is her life right now. She's not thinking about what she is going to miss down the road. Is it possible she has cancer, with the extreme weight loss? I would try to talk your husband into letting her go if there's no hope of reversing the condition. My vet told me when a dog declines, it happens quickly and you really don't want her last moments with you spent in horrible agony. Plan to celebrate her life and your love for her and then let her go before she deteriorates further. It's such a hard, heart-wrenching decision. Sometimes your vet can help talk to you about it.

 

Whatever happens, my thoughts are with you, Bailey and her family.