How Do You Cope?

[Guest GotGreys2]

It's only been 6 days since Turbo has gone to the bridge and our house is just not right anymore. It's too quiet and I cannot stand to see only 2 dog beds being used while the 3rd lies empty (Rambo piles it on his own occasionally). No more barking, no Turbo talking. Rambo & Blue are still so sad. I keep asking myself, do I get another greyhound, do I wait until Blue is gone (he is 10 also) or just let time heal the big hole where my heart used to be?? What's worse, my son who is 11, asked my husband when it is going to quit being so sad and he said mom hasn't smiled since this happened - poor kid. My vet sent a really nice card in the mail yesterday. She said he was obviously a dearly loved member of our family. I will be sending them a thank you card as well because I had her & the assistants crying along with me.

 

If anyone has any good advice on how to get through this without going bonkers I would really, really appreciate it - either that if you want to send an order of cocktails my way, that would help too

[Guest PhillyPups]

If I knew, I would not be sitting here in tears today. to you.

Edited January 15, 2008 by PhillyPups

[Houndtime]

I wish I could help you, but I have been the same as you since October 30 when Brandy left. My two big boys have gotten much closer than before, so, that would be on the up side.

I miss her terribly and still feel very sad.

[greyhoundlov]

Same here. We lost Freddie Oct. 5. After having him for 12 years, the house seems desolate. He was a quiet shadow, but he was there.

[Guest whatahound]

I'm so sorry, I know just how hard it is. Staying busy helps, spend lots of time spoiling your other hounds. I'm sure they are griefing too. I also had a very hard time when I lost my bassett hound several years ago. I tried to talk with people who understood my feelings, not everyone "gets it".

 

I still think about my Daisy all the time but now I smile or laugh. She will always have a very special place in my heart. I hope that the saddness you are feeling now quickly turns to smiles everytime you think about Turbo.

 

{{Hugs}}

 

 

[Guest larock]

It's only been 6 days since Turbo has gone to the bridge and our house is just not right anymore. It's too quiet and I cannot stand to see only 2 dog beds being used while the 3rd lies empty (Rambo piles it on his own occasionally). No more barking, no Turbo talking. Rambo & Blue are still so sad. I keep asking myself, do I get another greyhound, do I wait until Blue is gone (he is 10 also) or just let time heal the big hole where my heart used to be?? What's worse, my son who is 11, asked my husband when it is going to quit being so sad and he said mom hasn't smiled since this happened - poor kid. My vet sent a really nice card in the mail yesterday. She said he was obviously a dearly loved member of our family. I will be sending them a thank you card as well because I had her & the assistants crying along with me.

 

If anyone has any good advice on how to get through this without going bonkers I would really, really appreciate it - either that if you want to send an order of cocktails my way, that would help too

 

I felt the same in November after losing our 11.5 yo Ward. We still had Walter but the house seemed very empty and quiet. My husband and I were heartbroken and I personally felt I was never going to be able to even speak Ward's name again without crying. I was like a drone going through the motions of life, not smiling, not thinking. I couldn't stand to be in the house because it reminded me of him, the weekends were very hard. We never moved his beds or bowls...everything came to a screaching halt.

 

I asked myself the very same questions but deep in my heart I knew the hole would have to be filled. I think it was about 10 days to 2 weeks after Wards passing that we started looking. Not knowing what we would find or if there was another Greyhound out there that could possibly fill our empty hearts.

 

Within a week we found her and 24 days after Wardy left us we welcomed Brightning into our hearts. I have to say it really helped us to focus on something new. It's so hard when they leave and I'm not sure it gets any easier. Even now it's still hard sometimes but at least now I smile more, than cry, when I think of him.

 

You will find your way...

[Guest Snowy8]

If I knew, I would not be sitting here in tears today. to you.

 

 

Ditto

[Guest greyaspet]

Same here. I lost Mitzi almost a year ago. My UPS man came to the door today and said how much he missed her greeting him. He has not mentioned her at all why today??? I have been crying ever since.

Sheila

[Guest DoofBert]

Sir D left us on October 19, 2007. Yes, things are not the same. I miss him terribly. We have empty beds and an extra raised feeder.

 

I try to remember the silly Sir D moments we shared...yes, my heart is still empty for him. I swear Sir D guided Tavis into our home... even before he left for the bridge. And, Sir D has somehow let some of his ways with the other members of the PBP. I have made a conscious effort to do new things with our Pocono Black Pack. For example, we are visiting an assisted living center tomorrow. (Something we didn't do with Sir D...just never got around to it.)

 

I also started organizing a memory book of Sir D stuff... photos, records, old racing sheets.....it has helped!

[Guest GotGreys2]

I cannot bring myself to put his food dish away, it still sits in the same spot. The only thing I did find that helped over this past weekend was keeping busy, my son is on a very competitive baseball team so they have a lot of practices, that did help but then coming home without Turbo greeting me, the sadness starts all over again. One thing that does make me laugh is Turbo certainly won't miss these 10 degree, snowy Northern Illinois winters, he was from Florida and boy was he disgusted that first winter here

 

His ashes will be here at the end of the week and I think it will give me some relief that he is coming home, just not in the way that I want him to come home.

[Jiffer]

 

It has almost been a year since Icarus passed suddenly. His 4th Gotcha day is coming up (Jan22) and I've been crying a lot lately. He was such an old soul. I miss him terribly.

[MP_the4pack]

I cried a lot.

 

The first time I went from 2 to 1 dogs, so I needed/wanted to bring in another dog quickly. Christmas sucked that year, I had lost my girl 9 days before. I know I went to my sisters, because I started bawling as soon as I got out of the car.

I tried to help out at an adoption group for a while. The head of the group wanted to know why I was crying all over one of his dogs. He had a lot of wet dogs for a while.

 

I had a lot of trouble bonding with the new girl. That turned out to be a good thing because I had to concentrate on making her feel like she was in her home.

 

Two years later I adopted a third girl not knowing I was going to lose another within 3 weeks. Thank God for Pearl. She clung to me and was such a comfort. I had two when I lost the second girl. So they helped each other and Pearl helped me.

 

God, what am I going to do when I lose Pearl? (and I have four now)

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest GreytMuse]

It's cliche, but you do cope just one day at a time...it hurts and hurts badly. Just know that other people DO understand here at GT, and grieve along with you.

 

Our Phoebe, our first and only GH at the time, died this year on September 12, and it was a month before I could look at a greyhound without crying. We ended up getting our 2 boys within a few months, and they have definitely eased my pain.

 

Hugs to all of us who are hurting. It helps to know we aren't alone.

[Guest laceyj]

I don't think there are any short cuts. Everyone must grieve at there own pace and in their own way. Your loss was so sudden, traumatic and tragic. The suddenness alone makes it even harder to believe. Life does go on, unbelievably, but it is never the same. I think it does help if there are other pets who are also left behind. One is forced to meet their basic needs, making it necessary to get out of bed and put one foot in front of the other.

 

For some adding to the family in short order helps shift the focus of daily routine, still others are not ready to bond again too quickly.

 

I feel your pain, I cry for you, for Turbo, for those that I have lost. The pain is so intense and yet I would not trade it if it meant I'd have to give up the years of pure joy they have brought into my life. My wish is to live more like my dogs, for they live in and for the moment. Not pining for what once was, nor fretting about what is to come, but enjoying each moment in itself for whatever it may hold. I'm nowhere near there yet, but I hope to get better at it.

 

Bless you for loving him and giving him a greyt life.

[Guest MorganKonaAlex]

For me, I felt the loss acutely until I adopted my next hound. He didn't replace the dog, but he sure did fill the hole in my heart. Hope that made sense.

[Guest Machbragal]

I am SO sorry. I try and tell myself that at least I know that my pet had a wonderful life right up to the very last day, and they they were loved, loved loved. I also tell myself that it's so much better that I outlived them, because then I was able to ensure that they were loved as much as humanly possible, and also because they wouldn't have to go through the transitions that can happen to pets when their owners die. I tell myself all kinds of things . . . . . but it doesn't really diminish the pain at all.

 

Thinking of you.

[Guest greytfulhounds]

Sending you a . I wish I had answers for you. I have lost 2 of my girls within the last 6 months and it has been so hard. As time goes on the tears get less & less but my heart still misses them very much. Sending prayers and positive thoughts to you & your family.

[Guest GotGreys2]

Believe me, I am so tempted to adopt another in the next few months but still not sure if it is the right thing for Blue. There will be another, no doubt about it, I think Turbo will let me know when the time is right

 

On a lighter note, we are going to Jamaica the first week of March and I know this trip will do us both a world of good. We also lost my brother-in-law April 30, 2007, he committed suicide at the age of 26, he is my husband's youngest brother and was our best friend. My son says Uncle Ryan has a dog to pet now and he's happy that Ryan & Turbo are not lonely in heaven. Kids - sometimes they know more than the adults do

[4greyhounds]

It will be 2-years this August that I lost my Champ. I still cry even though I have 4 more, I don't think you ever really get over it. Me and my husband still have a curio that is a tribute to Champ with his ashes and nonething goes into that curio that was not a part or a reminder of him. We go to the curio and have our time with him and cry. We only had him almost 5-years but we miss him so much....... He was my baby........

 

to you, I know it is very hard.

[nyGreys]

I wish I had the answer.

I moved Rusty's bed to a different spot the day after he left.

It made me cry every time I looked at it, I thought a different spot

would help.

Just when I think I am done crying, I see a pic. of him and

the tears just start running, no matter how hard I try to hold them back.

 

[Guest GotGreys2]

My husband bought me a curio for Christmas, I told him it is for greyhound stuff only, wonder if that was a sign?? That is where Turbo's urn will be, right next to his collar.

 

And you won't believe what happened tonight - standing at the refrigerator, Blue is behind me, I open the door, hit his foot and break his toenail completely off, more blood, same spot as Turbo was when his leg snapped, I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS!!!! Call the vet, bring him in. I told the receptionist this is the LAST place I want to be right now, she said don't worry it's just a toenail. I told her people probably think I am so mean to my dogs, she says by how upset you were last week that is the last thing we think of you. So as Blue goes back to the exam room, a greyhound comes out!! I spoke to the owner, his grey is 14 years old, but sick, they don't know what's wrong yet so I told him about Turbo going to the bridge and he said he has been there 3 times, he said he just loves these greyhounds so much and I agreed. He actually waited in the waiting room with me just so he could see my Blue and of course he loves Blue too, my happy little Wal-Mart greeter with the bandaged foot & all.

 

I think I need to build a padded room for Rambo just as a precaution

[fourofem]

This is probably going to sound kind of hokey, but time is a great healer. I've been lucky with my greys so far but I've been through what you feeling with my crew that came before. I have a "shrine" in my den...full of urns, pictures, snow globes, etc. Even though it's been a good while since I've lost one, I still get sad when I dust and look at it all. You'll never totally get over it...it'll just a little easier as time goes on.

[Guest GotGreys2]

I got an email tonight about a grey that may be possibly getting ready for adoption. I have known this boy since he was 3 months old, and have kept tabs on him while racing. He & I bonded through the months before he went to race and he is just the cutest sweetest boy BUT too soon I think, not fair to Blue at his age. So just my luck, waiting for Woody to retire and then all of this happens.

[Batmom]

Time, tears, a little tough-love. I guess I see death as part of the commitment, part of the job. You want to share a part of someone's life, then death is a part of it, a part you've agreed to manage somehow ..... I tried to focus on how very very lucky I'd been -- not that my beloved companion had died, but that I'd gotten to share a part of his life. I wouldn't have traded that for anything.

 

When B died, I had Zema to consider and shelter through her grieving. She needed the rest of her life to be as normal and consistent as it could be. So ... I tried to follow B's example, hokey as it sounds. He lived in the moment, no looking back, greeting every day and every person with good cheer and a willing spirit, taking each moment from here .....

 

It was a fair long while before I could think about B or talk about him without feeling sad and crying. Still do now and then. Mostly now, tho, the memories make me smile. I was, and am, so very very lucky ....

 

 

[Guest Snowy8]

I have realized thru age, that you're going to have good days & bad days. The first weekend...I thought I did pretty good....I missed Dear but it wasn't an urgency...it felt like it did when he was at the vet. Then the more the days passed & I didn't see him...I started feeling this nervousness...this longing. It helped that I had the other 7 & the 4 cats & work. Yesterday I felt blue...and I had to work longer hours, so I wasn't home soon enough to hug everyone....

I've tried to block out December...and I'm actually glad his illness didn't last a long time. He was sad those last few days...he didn't feel good & he wasn't hungry.

I have some funny funny memories of him though....