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Sequoia


Guest PNWtrillium

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Guest PNWtrillium

Thank you, Carla. And again, thanks to you all -- including those of you who read the thread and chose not to type your reply (I could feel your caring, too). It makes such a difference to have my grief understood and treated as valid. Your wishes and hugs and flowers made it much easier to get through the days after Sequoia's death, and easier to access my own grief, which I often stuff. The tears I cried when reading your notes were cleansing and healing.

 

Tonight, I've been washing dog laundry and putting away her special toys for memories for me (except for her polar bear, which now sleeps with me). Thank you all for being with me in spirit.

 

Marcella

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Guest MomoftheFuzzy

What an amazing tribute to your girl, Sequoia. I'm so very, very sorry for your loss. Your story of her six short months with you touched me because, oh, what a rich, colorful six months she had. What a way to leave this earth -- with such a loving mother and companion and such an active and full life. It's just beautiful as is your love for her. I know about this pain. I know about its sudden side -- the kind of pain where you don't have one last time to enjoy everything. And all I can say is both kinds of pain hurt and will never fully go away but, in time, she'll remain your consistent angel and the memories will never fade.

 

:heart

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Guest PNWtrillium

Thank you all. She was a wonderful girl. I am honored to be her mom, even for such a short time.

 

I know about this pain. I know about its sudden side -- the kind of pain where you don't have one last time to enjoy everything.

You're right, Chrissy. It can be horrid to have this kind of ending. But I had know it was coming, since I was not brave enough to have her euthanized before her bone disintegrated, so I was able to arrange for visits and such so people could see her one last time, as well as consider what the end would probably be like and get used to the idea. And then, when it happened, I was able to stay present and centered all night as I fed her Tramadol every hour to ease the horrendous pain.

 

She was such a dear and stayed connected with me throughout the night, as the Tramadol slowly built up and brought her some relief. She didn't turn away or go inward. She had every right to, and that she trusted me even though she was hurting beyond belief was one last affirmation of the strength of our relationship.

 

Then, as we drove into the night, I sang The Beautyway to her and called the Four Directions to be with us. I told her how much I loved her and thanked her for coming to live with me. I reminded her of all the people who love her. It was certainly better than it would have been driving to a vet appointment for euthanasia, and it was as holy as when Dancer was euthanized in our home, surrounded by friends. If it had to end this way, I think I did a good job.

 

Thank you all for "sitting with me" as I process this with you-all over time. It helps so very much.

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Marcella, what a beautiful tribute you have written in Sequoia's memory. :candle I know all to well the pain you are feeling. My thoughts and prayers are with you. :hope:grouphug

 

Sequoia, run with all the other angels. You are in very good company. :gh_run

Greyhound angels at the bridge- Casey, Charlie, Maggie, Molly, Renie, Lucy & Teddy. Beagle angels Peanut and Charlie. And to all the 4 legged Bridge souls who have touched my heart, thank you. When a greyhound looks into you eyes it seems they touch your very soul.

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more then he loves himself". Josh Billings

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