A Family Divided Between Big Dogs And Little Dogs.

[Guest burgerandfrey]

I feel really bad. I told my mother that she could not bring her Yorkie to stay with us for two (possibly more) weeks. I'm just afraid of what one of our greyhounds might do to her dog, accidentally or on purpose.

 

The thing is my wife and I are expecting a baby in August, and things are going to be chaotic enough as it is. If we still had our previous grey I probably wouldn't worry, but we just adopted our current greyhounds last Summer. They have never spent much time around small dogs, and we really don't know how safe they would be. My brother has a small dog and our boy Zeke is afraid of her! We only let them meet while on leashes. His dog will try to jump in the faces of our dogs, and Zeke becomes visibly uncomfortable...which could lead to him lashing out if we didn't separate them. Also, if Zeke sees a small dog in someone else's arms he thinks it is a toy and sits for it. Both of our greys are very sweet dogs who are generally nice to other dogs as long as they don't feel threatened. Still, I would not be surprised to see either one of them take off after a small dog if they saw it running across the room or in the yard. In fact I would expect them to chase...I'm just not sure what they would when they catch up to a little dog. And I don't want to find out... especially not with my mother's 10-pound Yorkie as a test subject. We are going to be exhausted. Our dogs will be nervous since we will be at the hospital and then bringing home a new baby. It just seems crazy to me to add a small dog into that environment. Also her dog is trained to go on pads or newspapers indoors. Our dogs know you go to the bathroom outside. Talk about confusion!

 

My mom says that she understands, but I can tell how disappointed she is by the sound of her voice. She is traveling a couple thousand miles and wants to stay with us for at least a couple of weeks or so to help out and she hates being away from her dog. She also refuses to board at a kennel and instead is going to risk leaving the dog at my sister's house...where her little boys have been known to leave doors open. Their own dog has escaped before.

 

I would love it if my mom brought her dog and everything was happy and everybody got along, but if one of our dogs did something bad to one of her dogs, it would be devastating. It's just not worth the risk in my opinion. Maybe if they got to meet and got used to each other gradually and over time I would be more comfortable, but I still wouldn't leave them together and unsupervised. How do other greyhound owners deal with visits from family and friends who want to bring over their yappy little dogs? When you try to tell people it isn't a good idea, they assume what you are saying is that your greyhounds are vicious killers...which isn't the case at all!

 

Sean

PS: I would also point out that the little dogs my mom and my brother have are young and full of energy. Our greys are six and three, they never bark, and they are very laid back. They sleep much of the time, apart from taking long walks with us and running around the yard. Visitors are always surprised that our house is so calm and quiet with two big dogs. A young yappy dog would shatter that calm and probably bug our greys as much as it would bug us!

Edited June 8, 2010 by burgerandfrey

[Guest Greyt_dog_lover]

Sean,

You sound like you are stressed even before the idea of having a small lure running around the house. I say take a deep breath and relax. I would let your mom bring her little dog to your home, make sure your hounds are muzzled any time they interact (only under YOUR supervision, not mom's). Make sure the little one doesnt go outside with the big ones. Also make sure to keep the animals separated. No biggie. Its basically the same as having a cat. Do you have crates for your hounds? If so, it sure would help things (this is one of the main reasons I am a strong proponent of crating) if your hounds could hang out in the crate for a few hours so the little one could have run of the house. Also, have the hounds meet outside the house, and as soon as they all meet, if things dont go horribly wrong, then take them for a nice long walk to tire everyone out. Of course the meeting and any time the greyhounds are able to mingle with the little one there should be muzzles. I have 3 hounds and 1 foster, as well as cats. Just yesterday my wife's friend brought over his pug for a few hours, no problems. If the dogs meet and fireworks dont go off, then maybe you can allow them to intermingle in the house under direct supervision, if not, then as I said above, simply keep them separated by a closed door.

[pabozem]

I agree with you 100%! This is not the time to test your dogs' acceptance of a little dog. You'll have your hands full as it is with a new baby, a new mom, and a new grandmother. Is there a place in your area where she could board her dog? That way she could visit him/her and maybe take him/her on a few walks. I understand about her not wanting to board her pup, but the alternative could be devastating. Good luck with your new little one.

[TheFullHouse]

I would see if your mom had a crate for her little one, if not, since it's a 10 lbs. dog, you could get one quite inexpensively. Muzzle your guys, as stated above, let all meet outside and see how it goes. If the little one is going to jump in the greyhounds faces, you can alternate times out of the crate. We do this with Jilly Bean if someone brings over a greyhound she doesn't know. She has a crate and we put her in it while the hound is getting to know everyone. We also only let Jilly Bean out by herself so she can run without us worrying about the visitor chasing her in the yard. If it's just for a couple of weeks, muzzles and crates can be used to ease the tension around the house. I'd be sure to make sure mom understands that since you guys will be busy with the baby, keeping her little one safe should be her main concern so you don't end up babysitting the dog as well as a new baby. If her little one is a nipper, she can get a muzzle small enough for her pup, Jilly Bean has one.

 

Oh as far as mom holding the pup, your hounds are going to react the same way to your baby so be careful there. Anything that squeeks and is in someones arms is attractive to hounds!

[winnie]

DH's father and step-mother travel with their yappy Min-Pin. They stay at our house twice a year on their way to/from NY-FL. They keep their yapper leashed and in their laps whenever we're hanging out in the family room. Otherwise, the yapper is kept in his crate or behind the door of our guest room. We never turn our dogs out together - either inside or outside of the house.

 

DH's mother and step-father travel with their two cats. They also stay at our house twice a year on their way to/from NY-FL. Their cats stay in the guest room 24/7. They keep the litter pan and cat food in there with them.

 

I should note that we know that our greyhounds are small dog/cat safe. We have three cats of our own. Still, we take lots of precautions when dealing with DH's parents pets.

 

Can your MIL follow similar rules?

[JAJ2010]

Muzzle and crate everyone when not supervised.

[Guest burgerandfrey]

Thanks for the reply. I think I'm more stressed over disappointing my mom who has offered to help us out while we are adjusting to life with our first baby. There is also a lot to do to get our house prepared, so I think this just added one more thing to worry about.

 

Your suggestions are all good ones, and things that I would not mind doing if my mother wanted to visit with her dog for just a few days. If the visit were just for a few days it might be more realistic to keep them separated using doors and baby gates, and to supervise their interaction. But this will be for anywhere from two to four weeks...during which time we will all be operating on very little sleep and the dogs will be adjusting to having a newborn baby in the house. We don't have crates for our dogs, and the house is very small. Again the baby gates and doors would help, but sooner or later over that much time I fear that her dog could run out a bedroom door or through an open gate and find herself in the living room with the greys before my 73 year old mother could react.

 

So I suppose in this case it is really more about the timing with the new baby. Maybe we will let her bring her dog for future visits. We are trying to get our dogs used to my brother's dog who lives down the street. Actually it seems more like trying to get his dog used to ours. Our dogs don't react much, but his dog likes to jump up in their faces...which definitely makes Zeke nervous. We don't let them off-leash in the yard together... not even muzzled, but we are trying to walk them together so they get used to each other. If that goes well we hope to let them bring over their dog for visits inside or on the deck...we'll just muzzle our dogs for awhile first. Our previous grey lived with us for almost ten years along with our cat. They did not have to be separated at all. We know one of our current greys is not considered cat safe. Zeke was returned by the first family that adopted him after he went after their cat. He was younger then, and wasn't even in the house long enough to get gradually acquainted with the cat... but still... maybe that is why my wife and I are so apprehensive about letting her bring her dog. And really... that time will be all about making my wife comfortable. If we can avoid having a little dog in the house that will be one thing we will not have to worry about.

 

Sean

[Batmom]

If your mom is diligent and responsible when it comes to her dog, I'd follow the advice above -- crate for the little one, sturdy baby gate for guestroom door, muzzles for when needed.

 

In your position, I'd be a little freaked, too ... but moms who are willing to come help with babies are worth their weight in gold, and she will be happier if she has her other baby nearby.

[Guest krystolla]

Even if your greys were 100% safe with small dogs, I think having a new baby and a yappy small dog in the house at the same time could be trouble. I mean, it's hard enough to get a baby to sleep as it is. Having the just-finally-closed-her-eyes baby woken by the yorkie indicating that someone is on the sidewalk in front of the house . . .

 

Of course I'm make some assumptions, but I'm guessing Mom's yorkie isn't one of those well trained and relaxed dogs or else you wouldn't be so worried about introductions. It's probably better for a young and high-energy yorkie not to be around sleep deprived and stressed humans anyway. Though if the little one was mine I'd probably be looking into professional pet sitters.

[September]

If for some reason your mom can't have her Yorkie in the house with the dogs, can she stay at a hotel with her dog? Maybe there's a doggie daycare nearby she can drop him off to during the day while she's helping? Maybe even daytime boarding if not?

[ivon]

Hmm tough one.....this could be a lot of extra stress just when you don't need it. My DD has a little dog, I crate my dogs when she comes over, they are reasonably fine with small dogs, but not one that will get in their faces, not respect a dog on his bed, etc. They just get annoyed.....DD has in the past agreed to dog sit for me when I was out of town, at night she had her dog in the bed room with her, door closed, and my dogs, according to her, started whining and howling. They don't ever do that normally, even though they may or may not sleep in the room with me, but they wanted to be where the little dog was. She finally gave up and went home, visiting my dogs several times a day instead, she could not sleep.....

So, if your mom brings her dog and you have lots of whining and/or howling going on, would she be willing to board it at a place close to you? Or are you going to be stuck for a few weeks with that racket?

 

Could she maybe hire a dog sitter instead? When I go out of town and neither of my kids can dog sit, I get someone to stay with them from 5pm to 9am, of course for a few weeks that can get costly, maybe you can offer to help pay for that?

[Guest burgerandfrey]

I would see if your mom had a crate for her little one, if not, since it's a 10 lbs. dog, you could get one quite inexpensively.

 

That's a great suggestion... I had not thought of just having her keep her dog crated. For that long a time I would still worry about her letting her dog loose somehow, but when she visits in the future she will need to bring her dog in a crate on the plane, so they will already have it with them.

 

Oh as far as mom holding the pup, your hounds are going to react the same way to your baby so be careful there. Anything that squeeks and is in someones arms is attractive to hounds!

 

Yes... that thought definitely crossed our minds! Fortunately our dogs have already spent some time with babies who have visited our house and so far no problems. Even when the babies were in their mother's arms squeaking and squealing Zeke did not seem to think they were toys. His ears would definitely perk up at the sound of such funny noises, but he did not seem to think of the baby as a toy. Whew! Of course we will carefully supervise introductions and interactions. We also have some baby gates to control traffic when we need to. We also have the book "Living with Kids and Dogs" which has some good suggestions.

 

As nervous as we are about a little dog being in our house for a long period of time, we really aren't nervous at all about introducing our dogs to the baby. They are both wonderful with small children. Zeke especially adores my youngest niece who will brush him for an hour. They are also both very tolerant dogs who do not get nervous even when confronted with a large group of my niece's friends. The only things that really seem to stress out Zeke are really big dogs or really little dogs He's perfectly find with dogs his own size, and he is usually fine with the larger and smaller dogs unless they try to intimidate him or jump in his face. I don't blame him...I probably wouldn't like that either ;-)

[Guest Hoolyghans]

If it were a regular visit I'd say you could probably make things work out. Since it's new baby time though, I would hope your mom understands the extra stress is not a good idea. You & your wife have a lot of adjusting to do, your dogs will have a lot of adjusting to do and wouldn't everyone feel horrible if one of those split second things happened and her dog got injured?

 

One thought, if your brother lives close by, could mom bring the dog but have it stay at your brother's house since he has a small dog himself? That way she could still spend time with her dog but it would be a lot less pressure.

[Guest burgerandfrey]

Even if your greys were 100% safe with small dogs, I think having a new baby and a yappy small dog in the house at the same time could be trouble. I mean, it's hard enough to get a baby to sleep as it is. Having the just-finally-closed-her-eyes baby woken by the yorkie indicating that someone is on the sidewalk in front of the house . . .

 

Of course I'm make some assumptions, but I'm guessing Mom's yorkie isn't one of those well trained and relaxed dogs or else you wouldn't be so worried about introductions. It's probably better for a young and high-energy yorkie not to be around sleep deprived and stressed humans anyway. Though if the little one was mine I'd probably be looking into professional pet sitters.

 

You're right about that. She isn't trained at all, and I can't recall the last time I had a phone conversation with my mom when there was not barking and yapping in the background. She is a very cute dog though, and my mom is one of this world's great gifts to animals! Historically she has always had many cats and dogs...frequently taking in strays. Most of them live long and happy lives in her care. She has never had a dog larger than a lab mix, but I think she understands. Still...I know she is disappointed.

[Guest burgerandfrey]

If it were a regular visit I'd say you could probably make things work out. Since it's new baby time though, I would hope your mom understands the extra stress is not a good idea. You & your wife have a lot of adjusting to do, your dogs will have a lot of adjusting to do and wouldn't everyone feel horrible if one of those split second things happened and her dog got injured?

 

One thought, if your brother lives close by, could mom bring the dog but have it stay at your brother's house since he has a small dog himself? That way she could still spend time with her dog but it would be a lot less pressure.

 

Our thoughts as well. We would not have a problem if the visit were under normal circumstances, although we would be taking all precautions. Unfortunately my brother lives on a busy street without a fence. They have a small dog, but their dog does not run out the door. They have two little girls who can't seem to keep the doors shut! I was going to suggest that they use baby gates or let my mom crate her dog there, but I guess they have their own reasons for saying no. My sister lives close to my mom and has the same issue, but her boys are a little older and their street is not busy. So she has agreed to take care of my mom's dog during her visit out here.

[Guest Cris_M]

Pretend you are your mom for a moment. Which would be more important to you -- spending time with the new grandchild in a reasonably relaxed atmosphere or bringing your dog and hoping for the best?

 

It's okay that your mom is disappointed. Disappointment happens. She will miss her dog, and she will cherish the time she has with you, your husband and the new grandbaby.

 

This is a great time to do what makes life easiest for you. Your mom wants you to be happy a lot more than she wants to bring her dog to your house.

[Guest Greyt_dog_lover]

One thing you may be misinterpreting your hounds reaction to little dogs that jump in their faces. Most of the time greyhounds "correct" the smaller dogs when they jump in the greyhounds face, not to be confused with "attacking" or "being nervous or scared of". Any dog that jumps in the face of my greyhounds will be corrected and I allow my greyhounds to growl and "correct" the other dogs when they do exhibit inappropriate behavior. You say your hounds get along with the small dog down the street, then why would your mom's dog be any different?

[Guest burgerandfrey]

So, if your mom brings her dog and you have lots of whining and/or howling going on, would she be willing to board it at a place close to you? Or are you going to be stuck for a few weeks with that racket?

 

Could she maybe hire a dog sitter instead? When I go out of town and neither of my kids can dog sit, I get someone to stay with them from 5pm to 9am, of course for a few weeks that can get costly, maybe you can offer to help pay for that?

 

You bring up another possible downside to letting her bring her dog. We do have a wonderful kennel nearby where we board our dogs when we travel, but my mother has never boarded her dogs with strangers and doesn't like the idea. I know from experience it is hard to leave them somewhere strange overnight, which is why it's comforting to find a great kennel. The other issue is that we don't know exactly when, and for how long, we will be in the hospital. Our next door neighbor is going to feed our dogs during that time, and we have a nearby friend who has her own greyhound (friends of our dogs) who will take our dogs for daily walks with her grey. If we had another little dog in the house who needed assistance as well... that's a lot of protocol for friends and neighbors to keep straight. We already have to remind our neighbor the importance of putting Zeke's food down before Lola's! They never fight over food, but if she is served first he will knock her out of the way.

[Guest burgerandfrey]

One thing you may be misinterpreting your hounds reaction to little dogs that jump in their faces. Most of the time greyhounds "correct" the smaller dogs when they jump in the greyhounds face, not to be confused with "attacking" or "being nervous or scared of". Any dog that jumps in the face of my greyhounds will be corrected and I allow my greyhounds to growl and "correct" the other dogs when they do exhibit inappropriate behavior.

 

Try telling that to a small dog owner when your grey "corrects" their dog ;-)

 

You say your hounds get along with the small dog down the street, then why would your mom's dog be any different?

 

They don't actually get along... Zeke is very uncomfortable around their dog when it's a situation where their dog is in his yard or house. On walks they are perfectly fine. Lola gets along great with their dog, but she did correct their dog once that I can recall... because of the face jumping thing. Most of the time she likes to actually play with their dog. I later learned that my brother's wife characterized the interaction as Lola "attacking" her dog and acting aggressively. It's their first dog, and they don't know much about dog behavior. For example... last time we we had them all on leashes they were letting their little dog run towards Zeke... pulling to get at him. We could see how uncomfortable he was (tail was tucked way under), but they did not. We had to ask them to reel their dog in.

 

Isn't that always the case? You can walk two very well-behaved perfectly calm greyhounds who stay right next to you and never growl or bolt towards other dogs. As soon as someone approaches with a completely untrained, out of control, and hyper dog that wants to jump all over your dogs and has all the slack in the world to do it, and your dogs react with a corrective warning, suddenly you're the owner of "vicious greyhounds." Fortunately our dogs rarely correct other dogs even when their owners allow them to do stuff like that. We usually let it slide as long as our dogs seem relaxed and happy. But as soon as one of our guys seems uncomfortable, we move along.

 

Pretend you are your mom for a moment. Which would be more important to you -- spending time with the new grandchild in a reasonably relaxed atmosphere or bringing your dog and hoping for the best?

 

It's okay that your mom is disappointed. Disappointment happens. She will miss her dog, and she will cherish the time she has with you, your husband and the new grandbaby.

 

This is a great time to do what makes life easiest for you. Your mom wants you to be happy a lot more than she wants to bring her dog to your house.

 

Thank you. That is a very good way to look at it, and it does make me feel a lot better. At any other time I would be happy to let her dog visit. Hopefully we will get that opportunity next year and then I will take advantage of the many great suggestions in this thread.

 

Sean

[Guest Greyt_dog_lover]

Sean,

I totally get where you are coming from. I have had a few instances where I have had to tell people that their dog is acting rudely. It invariably happens at meet-n-greets. I actually asked someone if they were comfortable with me saying hello so close to them (I moved to within about 1 foot of their face just for emphasis). That was the only time I have ever had one of "those" owners understand what I was talking about.

[Guest sheila]

if it was me I would reserve a motel room for my mom.