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Today Marks One Year Since Marla Died


ZoomDoggy

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I will never feel right about losing Marla the way we did. I will never be free of the feeling of failure, that I wasn't able to help her more. In the ten months we had her, she often seemed like a sad dog. Missing her previous owners who passed away. I will forever feel an intense stab of guilt for saying something out loud one night in frustration and exhaustion and grief, when Chancy was dying: "why couldn't it be Marla instead? ..."

 

Six weeks later, it was Marla.

 

I am a bad person.

 

I wish I could make it right. I wish I could take that back. I wish I could have made her a happier girl. I wish...

 

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~Aimee, with Flower, Alan, Queenie, & Spodee Odee! And forever in my heart: Tipper, Sissy, Chancy, Marla, Dazzle, Alimony, and Boo. This list is too damned long.

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marla_roach3.jpg

 

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marla_bed.jpg

 

Her fur was velvet. The softest of any dog I've ever owned. She was sweet and quiet. I do love her, and always will. She didn't deserve what she got.

Edited by ZoomDoggy

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~Aimee, with Flower, Alan, Queenie, & Spodee Odee! And forever in my heart: Tipper, Sissy, Chancy, Marla, Dazzle, Alimony, and Boo. This list is too damned long.

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Aimee...........you are not a bad person. There are many things I have said to my dogs in exhaustion and frustration that I NEVER meant. We are all human and we all do the best we can at any given point in time.

 

As far as Marla being happy? She looks pretty dang happy to me in the photos.

 

I do know a little bit of how you feel about the guilt. I will never forgive myself for Bones getting hurt. He never deserved what happened to him. Still...........it is over and done. I do my best to let go of the guilt, but every now and again it rears it's ugly head. I understand. :grouphug

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Guest K9_Lady

Aimee, Marla knew she had a wonderful home with you! She looks so relaxed in those pictures and Loved!! Wish my arms could reach you from Chicago and give you a hug. You are a kind and loving person and I understand.... :grouphug

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Guest MomoftheFuzzy

Aimee, you were an exceptional mom to that little girl. For as long as you don't believe that, we'll be here to remind you and support you.

 

:grouphug

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Guest PhillyPups

Well Aimee, ten whaps with the guilt stick for you!!

 

Looking at Marla's picture, she looks so miserable (NOT!!). It appears she was loved ~ as she was. Nothing foryour to be guilty about there lady!!.

 

:bighug to you for giving her the wonderful ten months she had with you where she knew she was loved!!

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Aimee, please don't feel guilty. Your comment was made "in frustration and grief" at the loss of your special pup. Your words did not take Marla away. She looks very happy in her photos and was very fortunate that you were able to give her those 10 months of love. :grouphug

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Hobbes - April 2, 1994 to April 9, 2008-----Tasha - May 23, 2000 to March 31, 2013

Fiona - Aug 29, 2001 to May 5, 2014-----Bailey - March 22, 2001 to Jan 20, 2015

Zeke - June 1, 2004 - Jan 26, 2016----Callie - July 14, 2006 to July 27, 2019

Forever in my heart: Chooch, Molly, Dylan & Lucy

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:grouphug:grouphug Please don't feel guilty we all make mistake in frustration, I know when I lost my Champ I felt so cheated and said something I regret and I have always tried to make it up to Sophie since, please know she looked very happy.

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Darlene Mom to: Aladdin, Sophie ,Pongo, Jasmine, Relic Forever in our Hearts Champ at the Rainbow Bridge.

Let a greyhound race into your heart Adopt

Bay Area Greyhound Adoptions INC. Naples/ Fort Myers Chapter

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Guest GiJenn51

Aimee- I know how you feel. I was frustrated with Tigger, and lo and behold, he was sick.

But know that you blessed Marla as she blessed you. I would bet that it makes her sad knowing that you have that guilt.

Remember her for the joy she broughtm the smiles she made, and the warmth she has left in your heart.

Nothing else matters. :bighug :bighug

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Guest Patti604

I know exactly how you feel!!!.I have done the same thing.

Two years ago I had my Quinn PTS and in hindsight( after finding this board) I think I did it out of frustration and exhaustion. I still feel terrible guilt about it. I just try and look at it as a mistake I will never make again.

We are all just human and to think we will never make mistakes or error in our judgement is not realistic.

You did not make Marla sick and you took her in when she needed a new home. You helped her and she knows that.

Take care.

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Guest friedmaf
I will forever feel an intense stab of guilt for saying something out loud one night in frustration and exhaustion and grief..."

 

No need to feel guilty since Marla didn't understand what you said. Dogs don't know that language. They only understand love and loyalty. And I can tell by the way she looks in the pictures that she heard you loud and clear!

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Guest WarmheartedPups

I am so sorry you feel badly....please dont feel guilty.

 

I know when Otis died...I blamed myself for the pain he went through and not doing more...I tortured myself....but in my heart I know I did all I could....its 7 months later and I still get the feeling...its difficult.

 

You are a good "mom"......who is human. Marla was well taken care of and obviously loved.

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Guest argolola

Big, big hugs to you. I am crying now, just like I did one year ago. Please don't beat yourself up.

 

She was a precious pup who loved you with all she had. You gave her love and a wonderful home, and she was happy.

 

God bless you.

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Oh Aimee, there are a lot of us that feel guilty, wish we could have done more, regretted things we've said. She didn't look unhappy in the least and the one thing I do know is that our hounds love us and they KNOW WE LOVE THEM. You're not a bad person, just one who is still mourning.

Judy, mom to Darth Vader, Bandita, And Angel

Forever in our hearts, DeeYoGee, Dani, Emmy, Andy, Heart, Saint, Valentino, Arrow, Gee, Bebe, Jilly Bean, Bullitt, Pistol, Junior, Sammie, Joey, Gizmo, Do Bee

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Thank you everyone for your kind words. I usually try not to indulge myself in this kind of wallowing, as it has a way of spiraling me into a major funk. And true to form, it did. I really appreciate everyone's kindness and reassurances. :)

gallery_4518_2903_2157.jpg
~Aimee, with Flower, Alan, Queenie, & Spodee Odee! And forever in my heart: Tipper, Sissy, Chancy, Marla, Dazzle, Alimony, and Boo. This list is too damned long.

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Aimee, we all think weird things at times. The overwhelming feeling I always got from your posts about her was that you loved her, and that she had a way of making you smile and feel warm inside.

 

Sending big hugs for you, and blowing some kisses to your pretty girl over the Bridge.

Star aka Starz Ovation (Ronco x Oneco Maggie*, litter #48538), Coco aka Low Key (Kiowa Mon Manny x Party Hardy, litter # 59881), and mom in Illinois
We miss Reko Batman (Trouper Zeke x Marque Louisiana), 11/15/95-6/29/06, Rocco the thistledown whippet, 04/29/93-10/14/08, Reko Zema (Mo Kick x Reko Princess), 8/16/98-4/18/10, the most beautiful girl in the whole USA, my good egg Joseph aka Won by a Nose (Oneco Cufflink x Buy Back), 09/22/2003-03/01/2013, and our gentle sweet Gidget (Digitizer, Dodgem by Design x Sobe Mulberry), 1/29/2006-11/22/2014, gone much too soon. Never forgetting CJC's Buckshot, 1/2/07-10/25/10.

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