How Do I Know When It Is Time

[fsugrad]

I could really use some advice and input on this.

As some of you know, we have an 11 year old whippet who is in poor health.

He suffered a spinal cord injury 5 yrs ago and has always walked with a limp since then. As he has aged, the limp is getting more pronounced. He's now walking in kind of a curled in c-shape. Hard to describe. His hind legs are having a harder time supporting him. Some days/times it's more pronounced than others. He also has a diaphragmatic hernia, a grade 4 heart murmur, and hemangiomas (he is almost all white and we live in the blazing FL sun).

He is not eating his dog food well, so now I'm giving him ham, chicken, ground beef, whatever to get calories into him. He has lost a bit of weight recently; based on his bones being more pronounced.

He is no longer able to go on our regular walks, as about 2/3 of the way into the walk, we need to carry him because he runs out of energy.

Last Saturday night, he was very very clingy to me; pressing himself up against me everywhere I'd go. he would pant off and on (even though our house was cool inside and he hadn't exerted himself) and his heart was beating pretty fast, as if he'd been running. He would not lie down and rest all night no matter where we tried to put him and make him comfortable.

We all managed to fall asleep around 4:00 a.m. or so.

The next morning I looked around the house, fully expecting to find that he had passed away. He had somehow gotten himself up the stairs (our master BR is downstairs) and was sleeping on top of our youngest son, who was sound asleep.

Yesterday he was back to his semi- regular self, tottering along as best he could, no more panting, no more heart racing, etc. And he slept well last night.

Question: We know his time left with us is limited. But how do we know when "it is time", if we need to assist him to The Bridge? I don't want to be selfish and prolong things if he is in pain. But I don't want to cut his time short either. He is not letting out yelps of pain, but you can see by the way that he walks that it is getting harder for him to get around. I've only had to have 1 pet put down and that was a cat suffering from feline leukemia, with no other treatment options. Our IG died peacefully as we were en route to have her put down as she had a massive seizure and never regained consciousness. Can anybody give me advice on what I should do, or signs I should look for?

****

UPDATE:

We took Comet to the vet on Saturday. He has lost 3 pounds since he was last there in November. After a thorough exam and talking it over with our vet, we concluded that it is not yet Comet's time to leave us; although our vet said that it looks like it would be in the not too distant future.

I went to the store and bought him a food he's never had before--Caesar--he scarfed every bit of it down. At dinnertime, I gave him another Caesar and mixed some rice, veggies, and some of his kibble into it; again he scarfed it down. His hind legs are still on the weak side but at least he is enjoying eating again. Our vet assured us that he is presently not in any pain and so long as he doesn't have another episode like he had last weekend, we feel comfortable having him in a sort of 'hospice mode' and just keeping him comfortable and happy for as long as we may still have him.

 

Edited June 16, 2008 by fsugrad

[CaliforniaGreys]

I'm so sorry the time has come for you to be asking yourself this question. You know him better than anyone.From what you describe it sounds like he's ready, but I think you're the best judge of that. Ask yourself about his quality of life? For me, that would give me the answer.You and your little guy will be in our prayers.

[Guest Greyt_dog_lover]

This reply is not in any way meant to be callous in any way. My comment would be this: if you have to ask the question, then you already know the answer. It is absolutely heartwrenching to have to make the final decision, take solice in knowing that your little one loves you and will be waiting for you to play once again.

[Guest trevdog]

Only you can answer this. Someone on GT once said pick the top 3 things your pet enjoys or lives for the most. When two of the 3 no longer bring pleasure, it's time.

When I had to let Jam go...he loved attention, loved to eat and loved to go outside. He got to where he didn't want to be touched and even force feeding didn't work....I knew it was time.....

[Guest VanillaBean]

All I had to do was look into my Mickey's eyes. I could see it. What an awful decision it was to make. Sorry you have to.

[Guest LynnM]

You'll know.

 

There are dogs I've known that I'd do absolutely anything for and when it was time for them to leave there was no question. I know it sounds simple, but you'll know.

 

Lynn

[Guest luckydog]

In my opinion, sometimes the person closest to the dog just doesn't know when it's time and will prolong the dogs' suffering, waiting for some nebulous 'sign'. Would you be comfortable in asking for your vets opinion?

 

A painless death is the final and best gift we can give our pets.

 

 

[Guest MZH]

Some seem to get a far away look when they're getting ready to leave.

 

If he's panting a lot and his heart is racing, he's in pain. If pain meds don't seem to help him, it may be getting close to the time.

 

I'm one who tends to wait a little too long and I sometimes wind up kicking myself for waiting too long. It's so hard especially when he climbs the stairs and gets on the bed on top of your son. Since he's having some good days, I'd let him be. When there are no more of them, it's time to let him go.

 

As luckydog stated, you could ask your vet's opinion.

 

Edited b/c I misquoted luckydog's comment a little bit.

 

PS I feel for you. We've had whippets too and they are really so full of life; it's hard watching them when they're losing that wonderful quality.

Edited June 10, 2008 by MZH

[Batmom]

Not always easy.

 

Our whippet is 15 now and has grown very wobbly on his feet. Occasionally (once a month) he has what seems to be a mild seizure or stroke. He can't always make it all the way through the night, in potty terms. Not much the vet can do for him.

 

That's the down side.

 

On the up side, he enjoys his meals and treats, loves to be petted, loves to potter unsteadily around the yard, finding rabbit poop and earthworms to eat. When those things are no longer true, we'll say goodbye.

 

Meantime, we have done our best to make life easy for him -- no more stairs or jumping into/out of the car; a big enough area to sleep that he won't step in it if he has to go, but small enough that it's less to clean; plenty of washable bedding so he's never without; a harness instead of a collar in case he stumbles and we need to help a little.

 

Sending hugs, and some scritchies for your precious pup.

[Guest argolola]

No advice, just prayers and hugs for you and the little sweetheart.

[Guest PiagetsMom]

Personally, I believe when the bad days outnumber the good, it's time to seriously consider that decision. I've had to do it twice, with different vets and advice, and each time it was the most difficult decision to make. With my first girl, she had a brain tumor, was blind and losing her coordination, but never seemed to be in pain. When she stopped eating and drinking, I took her to the vet and was told, "If it was my dog, I'd put her to sleep." I knew it was the right thing to do before I asked, but it felt better to have him tell me that.

 

With my second girl, who was 14 and had been in declining mental and physical health over a period of time, I know that it took me too long to make that decision. I'd recently lost my grandfather (who I was very close to), my youngest son was leaving for college and leaving me an empty nest - I was emotionally stressed to my limit, and could not force myself to accept another loss. More than once I asked my vet's opinion, and he would only say that he couldn't tell me what to do, and he would proceed to give my all of my options. I wish I could have been less selfish and helped her to the bridge sooner.

 

My heart goes out to you and I'm sorry that you're faced with this decision for your baby

[fsugrad]

Thank you, everyone. I'm going to watch and see how he does over the next week or so. Again, today, he is having a pretty good day. He is sitting with Toby in the family room, and they're each enjoying new bully sticks I just bought for them.

I already know this is going to be a dreaded, difficult decision. I'll take him to the vet to be sure, if he has another bad day like the last one. I too would feel better if my vet told me that if it were her dog, that's what she'd do, since she also owns greyhounds and whippets.

We adore this dog and he means so very much to us and to our boys, who have had him in their lives since they were 1 and 3. They're 12 and 14 now.

[fsugrad]

I updated post #1. We are glad we went to see the vet, and feel good about our course of action at this point. Bumping to keep everyone posted.

[Xan]

Gentle hugs to you all. It's such a tough time to be in.

 

I'm glad he's feeling better today. "Hospice mode": that's probably a really good way to think of it, huh? I hope he continues to have lots of good days...

 

[patricia]

Sending prayers for many more good days and weeks...

[Guest Becki]

With our Scottie, we talked about him being in "hospice" for the last three years or so of his life, since the vet said he was terminal and we just needed to keep him comfortable. It wasn't truly hospice until the last couple of months and when he was ready, we gently let him go. You are in my thoughts. I know this isn't easy.

[Guest Spencers_Greyt]

I'm glad it isn't time yet! That's one of the hardest decisions I have ever made in my life including getting a divorce. I know it sounds trite but your dog will let you know. The last time I had to do this was with my beloved Airedale Honey. She was old and had survived a tail amputation from cancer. One day I came home from work and she was lying in the same spot I had left her, with poo and pee all over herself. She just looked at me with these big pleading eyes and I gave her a hug and told mama was going to make it better for her. I still cry thinking about that and that was about 10 years ago.

 

[CaliforniaGreys]

The last thing you proabably feel like doing right now is reading a book. But if you're up to it, pick up Blessing the Bridge by Rita Reynolds. Rita operates an animal Hospice. It is a great great book

Edited June 16, 2008 by cbudshome

[ozgirl2]

Glad he's doing a bit better now... do you have an acupuncturist nearby? Acu really helped Cody's spinal and rear end issues. Might keep him comfortable for longer...

 

Glad he's eating well too!

[fsugrad]

The last thing you proabably feel like doing right now is reading a book. But if you're up to it, pick up Blessing the Bridge by Rita Reynolds. Rita operates an animal Hospice. It is a great great book

That sounds like a great book! I will have to pick up a copy. Thx for the recommendation.

Amazon.com's Best of 2001

Like a hospice worker, author Rita M. Reynolds cares for sick and dying animals, helping them comfortably cross the threshold into death. At times, Blessing the Bridge reads like a kindly vet's instruction book, teaching basic skills in respectfully handling a dying animal, whether it's a newborn bird that's fallen from its nest or a beloved dog that's terminally ill. Readers learn ways to make an animal comfortable, such as laying wild animals to rest in beds of flowers or letting domestic animals die in a human's arms. What separates Reynolds from other authors that write about caring for sick and dying animals is her willingness to take the process into a more intuitive and spiritual realm. Reynolds offers suggestions for how to dialogue with dying animals to find out their preferences--whether they wish to die on their own or die through the mercy of euthanasia. She also believes in divine and angelic influences when it comes to helping animals cross over: "Much like the physician or midwife who helps the mother and infant through the birthing process, the angelic ones stand ready to assist those who are dying, but from the other side to speak, waiting on the spirit side of the bridge called death." There is no question in Reynolds's mind that animals possess unique souls or that they move onto an afterlife. She even tells of seeing the spirits of dead animals visiting her. Many of her lessons are conveyed through real-life stories, where we witness how she simultaneously releases and embraces dying animals. Like The Tibetan Book of the Dead, this book has functional appeal and spiritual longevity. Reynolds shows us how to ritualize and soothe animals' deaths, while also offering us abiding wisdom about life on earth. --Gail Hudson

[Guest FrostyBottoms]

for Comet and you.

[CaliforniaGreys]

The last thing you proabably feel like doing right now is reading a book. But if you're up to it, pick up Blessing the Bridge by Rita Reynolds. Rita operates an animal Hospice. It is a great great book

That sounds like a great book! I will have to pick up a copy. Thx for the recommendation.

Amazon.com's Best of 2001

Like a hospice worker, author Rita M. Reynolds cares for sick and dying animals, helping them comfortably cross the threshold into death. At times, Blessing the Bridge reads like a kindly vet's instruction book, teaching basic skills in respectfully handling a dying animal, whether it's a newborn bird that's fallen from its nest or a beloved dog that's terminally ill. Readers learn ways to make an animal comfortable, such as laying wild animals to rest in beds of flowers or letting domestic animals die in a human's arms. What separates Reynolds from other authors that write about caring for sick and dying animals is her willingness to take the process into a more intuitive and spiritual realm. Reynolds offers suggestions for how to dialogue with dying animals to find out their preferences--whether they wish to die on their own or die through the mercy of euthanasia. She also believes in divine and angelic influences when it comes to helping animals cross over: "Much like the physician or midwife who helps the mother and infant through the birthing process, the angelic ones stand ready to assist those who are dying, but from the other side to speak, waiting on the spirit side of the bridge called death." There is no question in Reynolds's mind that animals possess unique souls or that they move onto an afterlife. She even tells of seeing the spirits of dead animals visiting her. Many of her lessons are conveyed through real-life stories, where we witness how she simultaneously releases and embraces dying animals. Like The Tibetan Book of the Dead, this book has functional appeal and spiritual longevity. Reynolds shows us how to ritualize and soothe animals' deaths, while also offering us abiding wisdom about life on earth. --Gail Hudson

Wow...you're on top of it!! It is the best book I have ever read, and helps so much when you're facing decisions like you are now facing. And Rita is GREAT and will help anyone who has questions about death and dying. She's always on top of her email.

[Guest vahoundlover]

Prayers from here for many more good days.

[Guest becca97]

*sigh* seems like so many GTers are facing loosing their dogs or one of their dogs right now

 

all i can say is i reckon you know, they know and you know; it is i think the hardest choices we have to make for them, my rule of thimbhas always been if my dogs time is majoritarily in unrelivable pain and upset then it is time to spoil them for a day or two then arrange to take them in.

 

From your update i reckon you're on top of things as much as one can be ... you are in my thoughts as is comet {{hugs}}

[greypuppyluv]

I'm glad you were able to talk to your vet.....did you get to talk about acupuncture?

 

You and Comet will remain in my thoughts.