Need Immediate Advice

[Guest newgreymombeth]

Hi all -

 

I brought home my first greyhound, Bo, last Wednesday. Today was the first day I returned to work. I did work with him on being alone throughout the 5 days that I was home and off of work by leaving for periods of time. However, when I came home from work this evening, the man who lives next to me (I live in a duplex home) told me that Bo was crying for much of the evening. He's a nice man and he knows I adopted a greyhound. He isn't necessarily mad, but I know this is not something he wants to put up with indefinitely.

 

I feel as though I created this behavior somehow in the past 5 days. I have been affectionate with Bo and have been trying to bond with him and maybe that is where I went wrong. He seems to be very attached to me already and I am starting to feel as though I made a mistake by 'babying' him a little. I haven't gone overboard with the affection, but last night I did invite him on my bed and we cuddled. Tonight, after work, I did some reading about separation anxiety and preventing it and everything I read said do not allow the dog on the furniture at first. My heart sank. I've already made a huge mistake and it's only been 5 days. I let him out of the crate and he immediately jumped up on my bed. I told him to get down and he wouldn't listen, so I got his leash and I got him down. He is SO confused. I also read that I should be ignoring him and not be affectionate, because it will only make him attached and make it harder when I am gone. I feel SO awful! I've created a monster in 5 days.

 

Here is what I am doing: he's crated, the radio is left on, he has a kong filled with peanut butter and pieces of his food, and I also put a shirt of mine in there so he can smell me. I let him out on my lunch break. When I got home for lunch he was not crying, but he seemed slightly anxious and whined to get out. I did not let him out until he stopped whining and I was calm. I have been very calm about my coming and goings.

 

What can I do? I feel like I have already veered so off course and now he is just confused. I've been ignoring him all night and he is trying so hard to get attention from me. It just breaks my heart. I am such a sap and maybe that's also part of the problem. I just feel so bad for him, he's got to be confused out of his mind.

 

I know it's only 5 days in, so it isn't as though I will be undoing years of learned behavior, but what can I start doing NOW to insure that Bo won't be anxious without me here? He did get a long walk before I went to work. Is ignoring him really the key? Can we really not bond immediately? Did I make a huge mistake by letting him on my bed? Gosh, I never meant to create more problems for him.

 

Thanks...

Beth

[Guest sweetpea]

Take a deep breath, you have KNOT broken Bo.

 

Lots of people have dealt with this, they really will be able to help you here.

 

Number 1 question, does he "have" to be in the crate while you're gone?

Some dogs are just fine on their own outside the crate.

Maybe you could baby gate him in one room, and see how that goes.

 

It's just 5 days in, so yes, he is confused, just try and be consistent for now.

Tell your neighbor you're really working on the problem, if he could just be patient

(a batch of cookies probably wouldn't be remiss in smoothing the way.)

 

Good luck!

 

Buzzy

 

p.s. I would say no furniture privileges until you've taught him a reliable "off" or "go floor",

which is easy to teach but maybe not in the first week.

Edited April 3, 2012 by sweetpea

[Guest newgreymombeth]

He doesn't have to be in his crate, but he really likes his crate. I don't think it's necessarily the crate that is making him anxious as much as it is being alone. Whether or not he'd have the same reaction outside of the crate, I wouldn't know unless I tried, but I have a feeling that he would be just as anxious because he would still be alone.

[Feisty49]

There's lots and lots of info in various posts about this and you'll get a lot more info from moms/dads with lots more experience than I have. But I can say, "Don't panic." I know from reading so much on this forum about this issue that it is resolvable.

[Batmom]

No reason to ignore your dog or withhold affection. He just isn't used to being alone, and in a new place!

 

Being calm about comings/goings is great.

 

 

Some dogs do better outside the crate than in. But, with just one day's trial, I'd probably ask the neighbor for patience and see how he does over the next week or so.

 

I wouldn't worry about letting him on the furniture either. Some dogs can get a little possessive and snippy about couches, beds, etc. If he isn't being possessive or rude, no reason to boot him off.

[Guest ctgreylover]

Tony has SA. He is better crated when alone. Violet hates to be without a dog but does not like crates so she is not crated when humans are not here.

Try not crating him and see how that goes.

 

I set a camera up for some of my fosters to see how it goes when I leave. I can get 40 minutes of video. One of them was a chewer and had busted out of a crate. I muzzled him, baby gated in the kitchen and he was fine. He need some confinement and lack of ability to chew and he was happy!

 

Every dog is going to be different. You have to try a few things to find your dog's comfort level. We here will give MANY different suggestions. and hugs

[msjpk]

I also question whether she has to be crated- leave crate door open, close all bedroom doors, try it when you leave the house for 20 minutes or so.

Don't feel panic, we all have been through it, both of you just have to come up with a system.

You can also try gating in an area, maybe kitchen? Your new strategies should be tried when you have time at home,leave for 20 minutes and see what happens.

 

Is there someone who can check in on your pupper while you are at work? Let him out, give him a goody?

Good luck, it will work out and don't feel guilty, he has a home and is loved.

[Guest aowam]

Yeah. I'm a newbie, myself, and started off with the same problem. Fortunately for me my work situation allowed me much time at home those first 3 weeks. Even with that, I would still leave the house often just to get him used to it. He was absolutely terrified of the crate, so after 3 days I set up a gate and he seemed to do much better. I think it took me about 2 - 2.5 weeks before he was truly comfortable(ish) with me gone.

 

I think you're doing fine. It unfortunately just takes some time. I remember (not that it was all too long ago...) that it chewed me up inside just thinking about him being at home and scared and not to mention my townhouse neighbors. ALso, find a toy he really really likes.

[jaym1]

After speaking with experts and experienced owners constantly, some believe that SA-type behaviors come to you with the dog. Others suggest that it's all too easy to bring them out by lavishing them with too much affection, to soon. I don't think you've done anything too wrong.

 

Jumping from occasional alone time all the way to a full-on alone all day lifestyle can be too overwhelming for these guys. It's really something you need to work up to. Begin away conditioning immediately. This means you might have to literally be leaving the house and returning constantly for several days or even weeks. Pick up your keys and rattle them all the time. But when you do this, give him a treat. By doing this, you will quickly begin building up an association between preparing to leave, and a reward for your dog. Also, find a treat he can have that is ABOVE all other treats. For me, this was a bully stick. My dog is happy with any treat, but with a bully stick he will literally block the entire world out. My apartment could be burning down around him and he wouldnt notice. Anyway, only put this prized treat down when youre about to leave, and pick it up first thing when you get back, without greeting your dog. Again, this will quickly build up an association between your absence and very good rewards.

 

I would also recommend setting up two skype accounts, or a ustream account, then leaving your laptop open with the webcam on all day so you can monitor your dog. This can be a long process or a short one. Most of what you've described sounds like SA-type behavior, but not SA. This can take a long time to get through, and it wont be easy. After six months, my dog has gotten much better, but he's still not there.

 

One thing I learned is that, because I spend a lot of time in my basement workshop, my dog doesnt mind at all if im down there. But, more importantly, I can then leave through the basement and be away for hours and hours, and he wont care at all. its only my departures through the front door that make him anxious. Look for workarounds like that, if you can. They can be a temporary life saver.

[Guest newgreymombeth]

Thank you, all. Wonderful advice and truly helpful. It was a rough evening, but I feel more hopeful today after reading all of your replies. It's only been one work day! I can't really get discouraged yet. I just read so many separation anxiety horror stories last night that I think I ended up scaring myself!

 

I like the idea of Skype, but I am a little afraid that if I am at work and I see him crying, I will feel more helpless. What would I really be able to do from work? Maybe I will record him on my computer while I am gone - that way I can focus on my job and figure out what is happening here when I am done with work. Interestingly enough, I spoke with my neighbor again this morning and he said he didn't hear the crying until 4 pm (I'm not sure how an hour and a half of crying translates into "much of the night" but whatever). I work 8-5 and went home around 12. So, technically, he didn't even start up until an hour before I was finished with my shift. I read most dogs panic immediately, but he was rather calm both times I put him in his crate and left. We will see what happens tonight. I'll probably try the crate for a little while and if that proves unsuccessful, I can try baby gating him in the bedroom with a muzzle on. I just worry about my cat even though they get on fine so far. I think honestly it was just too much last night for him. He was fine with 3-4 hour intervals, but going past 4 pm was probably starting to be too long for him and he panicked a little. This is only my theory, though. Maybe tonight will be better...

[Dawnnziggy]

Please don't feel like you need to ignore your dog. He sounds like he has really bonded to you already. Also, I love to have my dogs on the bed with me. You didn't do anything wrong. One dog is a bit territorial but the other lets you move him anywhere.

 

I had major SA with one of my dogs. It was tough to work through. He actually tore the back off of the loveseat!

 

Good Luck!

[jaym1]

its true, if you monitor them all day, it can be harder on you than the dog. if you dont want to go that rout, try the recording -- it will be very valuable to understand how and when he's freaking out. if hes starting right away, then tapering off after a half hour he might be having different problems than he would if he were silent the whole time up until hed been alone for 4 or 5 hours.

[msjpk]

When you went home, did you give him a snack? It sounds like he might be hungry at 4:00 and that's way he's crying??

If you can get someone to check on him, take him out and give him a snack during the work day he will be fine.

[LadyGrey]

Dont ignor Bo. Your bonding and his feeling comfortable and loved by you is very important. My Greys have always been on the bed with me from day one. I dont think that has anything to do with the SA. I would let him on the bed with you. I would not with hold the affection.

[turbotaina]

... He was fine with 3-4 hour intervals, but going past 4 pm was probably starting to be too long for him and he panicked a little. This is only my theory, though. Maybe tonight will be better...

 

Or he just got bored SA is a panic attack. Whining is not necessarily panicking. If he's not soiling his crate, shredding things in his crate, panic barking, trying to bust out of his crate, etc., my guess is that he's going to be just fine. Try not to overthink it all. It sounds like you're doing well so far. Just keep working on alone training. Once he's settled in, I'm sure he'll be OK. He's still new. Our boy used to bark for about 20 minutes when we'd leave. Now, he looks forward to our leaving because 1) KONG filled with GREAT STUFF! and 2) he understands that we come home.