Advice For My Baby With Lymphosarcoma

[Guest bellamia]

I've had my grey for 6 years now. I got her when I was 16 and she's been my everything since. I first noticed this weird red lump/mass on her leg about a year ago, it was really small so my vet told me not to worry about it till it got bigger. Well, it got HUGE and she constantly hit it against things so it spurted blood everywhere. I went ahead and had the vets remove it (leaving a nice hole in her leg for a month) and test it. It was cancerous but it wasn't in her blood stream etc. Then one day I noticed my dogs lymph nodes in her neck were extremely swollen (along with the nodes in her hind legs)...

 

So my fur-child as I like to call her was diagnosed with lymphosarcoma Feb. 19th. I chose the route of prednisone just to keep her comfortable along with Tramadol that I give her 2x a day..as expected she's getting worse but I could really use some help/advice as to what I can do to make this...easier. I know that eventually I'll have to put her to sleep because I do not believe in holding on to her for my own selfish reasons while she's suffering.

 

I've read on many different websites about that subject and they all say you'll "know" when the time is right but it's hard to differientiate between the "right" time and just a bad day. This is the worst I've seen her but who knows what tomorrow will be like or the day after that?

 

I guess what I'm asking for is for advice on how to make a decision that is ultimately my own...I suppose I just want to know that either way I made the right decision and how I can come to make that choice...if you've ever been in my situation, how did you know when it was the right time?

 

[Houndtime]

This is so sad.

 

You are her best friend. She expects you to take care of her. The kindest thing that you can do is give her peace and make her pain free. It is also the hardest thing that you will have to do.

 

Take photos, make memories and make each day special. I am so sorry. Unfortunately, a few of us have already been in your shoes.

[Charlies_Dad]

I am so very sorry. You will know when it's time when the quality of her life is no longer there. Does she still eat okay? Is she still interested in things? Is she in pain? It's not easy but you need to look at what she still enjoys and if they outweigh the bad, then she is still doing okay. If however she is in pain and there are no meds that can help relieve it, then you already know. It is not easy, actually it is one of the most difficult things to do.

[duncan41]

First, welcome to Gt, and I am so sorry that you and your baby are going through this. I have traveled this same road and had the same concerns. I asked my trusted Vet for help, explaining that I was most likely going to be so wrapped up in her care that I would probably be unable to know when it was time to say goodbye. I told him to tell me when it was time - medically - when he could no longer do anything that would keep her comfortable. I am so grateful that I had that one brief moment of clarity because I jumped in the trenches determined to make a difference in Nikki's last months with us. She gave me a huge sign that I missed entirely but that one afternoon was followed by a physical manifestation that demanded a trip to the Vet. He took one look at her and said that she would be in serious trouble within a couple of days. I chose to send her to the Bridge right then - better a day to early than an hour too late.

This is just my experience.

 

I will be praying for you and your beautiful girl. :grouphug

 

 

[Guest GreysAndMoreGreys]

My best advice is talk to your girl and listen to her. Might sound odd but that is how I do things here.

No one can tell you when is the "right" time.

Many many hugs headed your way! Most of us have been down this same road you are traveling so we all understand.

Just love your girl enough to let her go when the time is correct. Easier said then done, I know.

But it is the last and hardest unselfish gift you can give to her

[TheFullHouse]

It's such a personal decision. I knew when my babies had more bad days than good. When they quit enjoying the things that brought them so much joy. I never wanted to drug mine to the point that they weren't really "there" so to speak.

 

My heart goes out to you. It's one of the hardest decisions you will ever have to make.

[Guest bellamia]

It's such a personal decision. I knew when my babies had more bad days than good. When they quit enjoying the things that brought them so much joy. I never wanted to drug mine to the point that they weren't really "there" so to speak.

 

My heart goes out to you. It's one of the hardest decisions you will ever have to make.

 

She only eats half of her food, occasionally she goes back to nibble on it but she doesn't have as much gusto. I give her chicken and noodles and eggs a lot to keep her interested but sometimes that doesn't work. I've noticed that it's getting harder for her to eat as if its tender in her jaw (probably due to her lymph nodes being so swollen). She's started yelping randomly which she's never done, which is why I say this is her worst day...

 

It's hard to not feel as if I have failed her. She led a rough life (raced for many years, then took off the track for breeding purposes...they bred her so much however she had to have her reproductive organs removed and has a huge scar up her belly) and now I have nothing left to offer her besides my undying love and gratitude for being there for me when I needed it. Thank you all so very much for replying...I appreciate so much your help/advice/support/thoughts/prayers as I am absolutely heartbroken.

[Guest lynne893]

We will be here for you. It IS the hardest thing, and our hearts break for you.

 

We went through the same thing with our beautiful sweet Timber back in 2009. She had lymphoma and we had to let her go one day. We did Prednisone, too, and that gave her about 3 good weeks, but then things took a turn. It was subtle, and of course, one of the hardest things to ever have to decide. It will be painful, and sad and horrible, but you have given her so much love and she has given you so much love. It's all you could ever hope for, and helping her through this awful thing is also a part of what you will do for her out of love.

 

I am so sorry. She knows she is loved. You've done good.

 

We'll be here for you.

[Guest june]

I am so sorry for both of you. As much everyone else said this is the hard part; the easy part is loving them.

 

With my girl, I came home one day and looked her and just knew. For me it was the look in her eyes. I spent the weekend with her loving her and doing all the special things I knew she loved. And I cherish those memories. When we went to the vet that Monday both my vet and I cried, but we both knew it was the right time. Your girl is so lucky she has such a loving concerned home.

Sending lots of hugs and prayers for both of you.

june

[Guest zoolaine]

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. She looks like such a sweet girl. I was in a similar situation last year with my non-grey Sunny. He had cutaneous lymphoma. I choose the chemo route and he did really well for about 4 months before starting his decline. It is true that you will know. I knew Sunny was ready when he stopped fighting me to give him all his meds and then he just gave me that look and I knew. That was on Sunday and I sent him to the bridge the next Tuesday. Your girl has a special bond with you and will let you know.

[cmc333]

As others have said, you WILL know when it's time. I'm not sure if it's a certain look, or an unspoken message between you and her, but you will know. For sure. Treasure every moment you have and make new memories to take out and enjoy after she's gone. It's not easy, it's damn hard. You get through it because there is no other way. It will break your heart, but that's the price we pay for all the love we've been given. There are many, many people on this board that have been where you are. It's a horrible place to be. You will find much support for you here and someone always knows the answer to a question - no matter how bizarre the question is.

 

I am so sorry you are in this horrible situation. Prayers for strength for you and prayers for good days for your girly.

 

And there are a few people on here - Neyla'smom, for one - that traveled that road for 7 months, fighting the whole way. She is a fount of information on cancer and related questions. It sounds like you can go up quite a bit in pain meds; adding gabapentin, increasing the tramadol. Neyla'smom has helped many of us by sharing her knowledge with us.

 

Connie

[Guest FordRacingRon]

I really feel for you. I posted in the "other" forum in Feb about being heart broken not for my dog but my SIL dog. Although I love my girl Leia to death, there was sort of a special bond between me and my SIL dog that only we shared,,even my SIL would tell everyone I was Buttons (her bridge angel shiba Inu) favorite person period. If it wasn't for Buttons,,Leia would not be living here but that is another story.

 

Buttons got really sick and on Valentines day we get a panic call, my SIL is at the e-vet and Buttons is dying from congestive heart failure. She can't hink straight so needs my DW and myself to come to her aid. we get there and the vet tells us what is happening. There was a small like 5 % chance that Buttons could be saved but IF she made it through the night we would have to get her to a cardiologist in the AM when the e-vet closed. My SIL was going to try the treatment. We asked if we could go see Buttons and we went into the back room. Buttons was drowning form the fluid filling her lungs

 

It was heartbreaking but my point that I took a long time to get at was Buttons looked at me and I could tell by the look in her eyes she was telling me she needed to be realesed from the pain. I could see it in her eyes, and as bizarre as it sounds I could feel it in my mind. We went into the parking lot to discuss it and the desicion was made that the treatment was not the way to go and Buttons went to the bridge 20 mintues later, cradled in my arms. I still tear up when I think of it.

 

So I too have read a lot aobut how you can tell and I really honeslty thought that was bunk,,,but it isn't. YOu really can if you're close to an animal. They will tell you.

[GeorgeofNE]

I'll share how I KNEW it was my dog's time.

 

He had a large nerve sheath tumor on his rib cage. He was terminal, and I knew that for about 8 months. The tumor itself was quite painful to the touch, but he seemed otherwise OK--until he started to do what I called the "thousand-yard stare" and just stand and stare at nothing. Not like him at all.

 

Then one morning I put his food dish down, he looked at me, and he laid down in the kitchen. Not only had he never refused to eat, he had never laid down in the kitchen--and he looked at me with this expression that said, "I'm done."

 

I took him in that day.

 

I will never regret it. We were togther for 12 years--in that time, I took one vacation (to Africa) that separated us. Other than a few times I was ill and my parents took him for me, we spent every single day together, and every single night. He would have died for me. He would have walked through fire for me. TI'm being dramatic on purpose--just to stress how much that dog loved me. The very least I could do for him was let him go before the pain was intolerable. Before every scrap of zest for living was gone.

 

I miss him every day--but I do not ever second guess my choice.

[DesiRayMom]

My time came when it hurt more to watch my lovely girl suffer, than it did to think about trying to live without her.

[Guest 2dogs4cats]

I am so sorry. Like many on here, I have been through this and many people will tell you that you "just know". I can honestly say that I didn't "just know" and didn't know how to find the answer either. Your vet and people that care about you can help, but they can't help you KNOW. The fact that I didn't know caused my baby to suffer longer than he should have. Thiking back on it, now I KNOW, but only through experience. I think the first time is so hard and you don't really know if it's time or not. It's a leap of faith. The fact that you are asking the question and searching for the answer may be an indication. I know now that it was for me and next time, I won't wait. I know how hard it is and nothing can make it easy.

[Guest LokisMom]

We had a senior grey with osteo. We chose the pain med route, no chemo, no amputation.

 

I asked the same question here on GT. How do you know? I was confused and scared and didn't want tp make the wrong choice.

 

I was told both you will know when it is time and better a day too soon than a day too late. Both are true. When it was time, I just felt it. I could see it in his eyes. That sounds crazy. But I did know.

[Guest angel]

The vet told us that our grey had at most two months to live after his diagnosis of lung mets and pleural effusion (requiring frequent aspiration) It would have been the worst two months of his life and mine. Already he was tiring on walks, and would take frequent rests. It would only get progressively worse. He lived to enjoy his walks in parks and nature trails and would have been very depressed if he became housebound and not understanding why. I loved him too much to see him lose what he loved most in life. It was a painful decision, but in the end I believe it was the right one.

 

My heart goes out to you - it's never easy.

[carronstar]

I am so sorry to welcome you to GT in this manner, as so many have said before me.

 

What my vet told me when my first girl Scarlett had osteo was that when it came to the point that we were having more bad days than good days, that is how I would know. Due to her age, we had been treating her for arthritis until we did the x-rays to confirm that it was osteo. When the x-rays confirmed the osteo, I set the date right then for my vet to come to the house to let her go in 12 days. While he said that we might have more time, I didn't want her to suffer. We had been dealing with her leg being sore for two months at that point, she was very old and I just couldn't bear the thought of her hurting. I truly believe that a day too soon is preferable. I spoiled that girl rotten for those 12 days and had a huge party for her on the last day with everyone she loved in attendance. It was all I could do for her. Then, I ran away from home and stayed with good friends. I know that not everyone can do that and I am truly grateful to the friends and their children who helped me through that first weekend without my girl.

 

Your girl is beautiful and the picture you shared shows a girl who knows, absolutely, that she is loved and treasured.