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It Is So Hard


Guest Lisa_n_Dusty
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Guest Lisa_n_Dusty

I try so hard to read about everyone's loss and to respond to each and everyone of them. Everyone was so sweet and caring when my baby Dusty crossed over. I post each one with tears rolling down my eyes. These posts are so painful to read and even worse to respond to. I want to let everyone who has loved and lost a pet that I know and feel their pain cause it is so fresh in my mind. I am so lonely without my baby and have not replaced him yet and I think that is even harder on me. I am trying to respect my dh's wishes to wait 6 months and it has been only a little over 6 weeks. I don't know how I could possibly wait that long. I have applications here I haven't sent out. I am so afraid I will find a grey and my dh will not want me to get one. I don't want to go behind his back and get one without his approval but, I can't stand not having a dog to love.

Everytime I read about someone welcoming another grey or just adopting for the first time, I cry. I am so happy for them but feel so sad at the same time. I also see all the greys who need homes and know I would be the perfect person for each and everyone of them and I can't take them because dh says he needs more time. I am greiving Dusty too but, I am also greiving not having a dog to love. The longer I am without a grey the harder it is on me. Instead of the pain easing with time, it gets worse. I want to foster but, dh says no to that also. He wants to have time without a dog for awhile. We are at such odds on this I feel myself starting to resent him and his whole attitude about this whole thing. I just wish he could see my pain for a change but, he seems to only see his own. I am sorry, I wanted this to be in memory of Dusty. Instead I vented.

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I am so sorry. I know that each of us deal with our pain in different ways. Would it be possible for you and DH to just visit at a M & G...and maybe DH will change his mind about waiting? I know that you miss Dusty...I think that Dusty will send you a special babe. Hang in there...sending hugs. :(

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:grouphug Hang in there, I know it's sooo very hard!! I think the idea of going to M&G is a greyt idea, who knows, maybe there will be a pupper there that your dh falls instantly in love with? Things will get better, know it's hard to see that now but the pain will ease :(:(

 

We're all here with loving arms and shoulders to cry/vent on anytime.

 

 

 

Karen

 

:gh_bow

Edited by Lilysmom

Praying for all the missing greys!

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Guest javalover1123

Ya never know, maybe your hubby is having a hard time as well. It is hard to get so attached to these guys andlose them. I would definitely go to some M&G. Even if that is all you can do for now. I think eventually he will come around. Good luck! :f_white

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Lisa im so so sorry you are still having such a hard time with this and feel your frustration. Sweetheart it will get easier and you dh will learn to love another. Could you possibly not talk him into reading what you just typed? Sometimes I think its easier to write than explain something and you explained it here perfectly. Would he not visit gt and read rainbow bridge it might help him to grieve and show his emotions more. Maybe plant a tree or something for dusty and have your own time together saying goodbye properly and crying together. Good luck and dont forget we are and always will be here for you

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Lisa, I'm so sorry...could it be that maybe your DH is just simply not ready, or he is worried that he would be "betraying" Dusty by adopting another? Or could it be that he secretly thinks that YOU aren't ready? I think it would feel good for the two of you to attend a m&g and just ease yourselves back into the greyhound world...Lisa73's idea is also good...allow him to read what you've written to us, and see what he says...when it's a good time for both of you, Dusty will send a pup to take care of you :)

Kristin in Moline, IL USA with Ozzie (MRL Crusin Clem), Clarice (Clarice McBones), Latte and Sage the IGs, and the kitties: Violet and Rose
Lovingly Remembered: Sutra (Fliowa Sutra) 12/02/97-10/12/10, Pinky (Pick Me) 04/20/03-11/19/12, Fritz (Fritz Fire) 02/05/01 - 05/20/13, Ace (Fantastic Ace) 02/05/01 - 07/05/13, and Carrie (Takin the Crumbs) 05/08/99 - 09/04/13.

A cure for cancer can't come soon enough.--

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Guest wmparker66

Lisa,

 

I am sorry that you are having a rough time right now. I am single so I was able to make the dicission to get a puppy fairly quickly after Bernie's passing. I still reaaly want a greyhound, but I decided to wait until the pup is a little older. I am sure it will all work out for you. Hang in there. Big hugs.

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Guest JaVae

Lisa, I know how hard it is to be without a grey. When I lost my first grey's mother a year after losing him, my circumstances were such that I just couldn't get another dog for over a year. That was so hard! I did go to show & tells, which was hard, because my heart wasn't in it, but at least I got a greyhound "fix" by petting the other dogs and I was helping greys by talking to the public about them. I stayed active with my group, volunteered where I could, and finally the right dog, well, 3 dogs, actually, dropped into my lap at a time I could take them.

 

I do think you need to sit down and talk to your DH about your feelings and try to find out what his true feelings are.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Lisa, your DH is suffering along with you, but will NOT admit it.

He is afraid of getting attached to another Greyt hound. Maybe

HE is the is the one that needs six months to get over the loss?

Believe me. I have been there, done that. It hurts "big, strong"

men as much as a gal to loose a hound or any kind of long loved

pet. Most men will not ADMIT it but it kills us like it does a woman.

 

Don't let it break up your personal relationship, but talk about it

and find out his TRUE feelings. Does me miss not having a click

click on the floor. Most pets bring people together. One human has

a companion when the other is at work or gone to Wal-Mart. :P

 

Wish you the best.

 

We have two greys. Want to borrow/babysit for them for a

few days if we go on a trip?? :huh:

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Guest javalover1123

You break my heart. I feel for you! I hope that DH comes around. Have you explained your *true* feeling about this to him? Sometimes men have a hard seeing things like that. Not all, but many men had a difficult time dealing with emotions that you are experiencing at the moment. It is hard to lose a pet, friend and family member and Dusty was all 3. Try to hang in there. Hopefully DH will get past this. I have been in your shoes before and I just sat my DH, who is a stubborn Irishman, down and told him everything, tears and all. If you are the animal person and he is not so much an animal person (as in my case), it is hard for them to understand the extreme attachment we have towards these "kids".

 

Edited for spelling again :angry:

Edited by javalover1123
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Everyone is indeed different.

I wanted another dog earlier on, yet when I started watching Emergency Vets, I knew that it wasn't the right time because what if something were to happen to the new dog? How could I handle an illness or accident right after the trauma of Millie's death?

When we think of our pets who have crossed, often we only think about the love they gave us and what we returned to them. We have fond memories about their personalities and the times we shared-- when they were doing well. We tend to gloss-over when they got sick and died because it's too painful, but that is what having a pet is all about.

Next week, Millie will be gone 7 months. I am just starting to see myself taking care of a dog that could get sick or be injured.

It's still very early in the mourning process for you. The shock has worn-off, and it hurts like heck. To me, it sounds as though your hubby has legitimate concerns that he simply could not handle the possibility of something happening to another beloved animal. Some people never get past this. Most, I think, learn to rebuild their lives with only memories of the companions they have lost and when it's far enough away, decide they can handle whatever comes next.

It will get better. God bless.

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It's very very hard. Everyone grieves in their own way. After Joe died, I really didn't think I could deal with having another dog because they, too, would die eventually. But at the same time, I was driving around trying to find a greyhound...I ended up at an impromptu meet and greet at our local Petco. When I walked in and saw the one dog there, I just started to weep. I asked if I could please hug their dog...I just missed Joe so badly.

 

On one hand, my heart hurt from not having another greyhound, and on the other hand, I was so afraid to have my heart broken again.

 

In the end, my husband pushed us into getting another greyhound, and I'm glad that he did. We have three now, and though I know that my heart will break again and again and again...I also know that what they bring to my life right now is worth that heartache later.

 

I hope that you and your husband can work it out and bring another grey home soon.

Tami, Nikki & Gypsy (non-greyhounds, but still pretty good dogs.) Deeply missing Sunscreen Man, Angel (Back on the Job), Switzler Festus and Joe (Indio Starr)

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