Aggression, Muzzles And Children

[a_daerr]

We had to accept that Joe was not the dog we envisioned for ourselves. Instead, Joe was Joe... Once we accepted this (truly accepted this), things became much easier.

 

This brings tears to my eyes. Here's why...

 

One of my boys, Truman, is very "Joe-like." I adopted him when he was 15-weeks-old with the intention of training him for competitive obedience and therapy dog work. That went out the window very quickly! He's an anxious dog- hates children, has problems with leash reactivity, and harbors about a million little hang-ups that make him a terrible candidate for a working dog. I was constantly disappointed and frustrated at his behavior. I started realizing that he would probably never live up to my expectations... But that's all they were. MY expectations. Once I let go of those and started accepting Truman for who he is, managing his problems was, admittedly, a lot easier. He's a loving, silly boy who gives toothy kisses and takes awesome care of his older greyhound brother.

 

I'm so glad there are Joes (and Trumans) out there to teach people like us about acceptance and unconditional love.

[Guest lynne893]

I too want to commend you and thank you for being such a loving, patient mom to Joe.

 

Congratulations and may you have many loving years yet together with Joe and your family!

[Guest LazyBlaze]

Like others on this thread, your update post has really moved me. Your dedication to working things through with Joe deserves a million of these and a few of these for good measure . Your thoughtful posts and updates will be invaluable to others with dogs like Joe. You folks are FANTASTIC. Lucky Joe.

Continued good wishes for whatever the future holds. I'm so glad for you all that so far, so good.

[Guest k9soul]

Your story, and especially your update, brought tears to my eyes. If only all parents and all dog owners could be so dedicated, insightful and committed. Even if something in the future caused you to rehome him, you've gone above and beyond to be the best guardians possible and I think this will also have a profoundly positive influence on your child.

 

My boy also has some issues with not liking to be disturbed when lying down. He's improved some, like Joe did, but ultimately like you I had to accept that he was never going to be a dog I could sleep cuddled up with at night or reach over and stroke when he was lying down. It was difficult, and in so many other ways he's a fantastic dog with an amazing personality, but still I felt sadness when I'd see pictures of people curled up with their hounds on the couch or in bed. Sometimes I admit I still feel a little pang. I love him so much and crave that extra closeness at times. But I have to not be selfish and accept him as he is. There are special moments where he will lie close for awhile and nudge me for a few pets or lick my hand and I treasure those moments. But even then on occasion he will suddenly tense up or give a small growl of discomfort and then I know it's time to stop.

 

When I think about it, there's always been something I've needed to learn to accept about my dogs. Certainly, I'm no different! My loved ones have had to learn to accept things about me, too!

 

Anyway, thank you so much for sharing your story and your update. I have no doubt it will be very meaningful to others who will come upon it or who already have.

Edited June 4, 2014 by k9soul

[Guest giantsfan]

What a wonderful update! Joe found himself a stellar family.

[Guest Bob32392]

Thanks all for the nice words. I must admit I've been irrationally nervous that we somehow jinxed ourselves by reporting on our progress. If there's one thing I want to emphasize, it's that this is an ongoing process for us and is very much day-to-day. We recognize that if we let our guard down for even one second it could change things significantly. All the more reason to be vigilant! Joe makes it easy, he's a sweet boy and he wants to be good. Hopefully two years from now in 2016 I can revive this thread with another positive update, and in the meantime perhaps it will be a resource for someone else. Many thanks again to you all for your support and forthrightness.

 

Someone asked for a picture. Here's one of our favorites where he's enjoying a zen moment.

 

[Batmom]

[robinw]

I think the best thing you can do is accept Joe for who he is. I also live with a dog who will never be who I had envisioned. Everything improved once I realized how lovable he is and realized that my expectations had nothing to do with him.

 

Joe is very handsome.

[Guest Bob32392]

I also want to add that I've had three dogs in my life. The first two (non-greyhounds) were perfection, easy as pie, sweet as can be. The perfect dogs. Joe has caused us quite a bit of frustration, pain, and even tears. I will fully admit that if when we adopted him several years ago I had a crystal ball and could see what was coming, we probably wouldn't have taken him. (Of course we'd never do the same having known him and lived with him for years... but back then, having only seen his cute face for 5 minutes? Yeah, I would have walked away if I'd known!) But... despite this... he has been the best of my dogs and, at the risk of sounding dramatic, has taught me great life lessons. It's amazing how the ones that cause you the most pain are often the closest to your heart.

[JJNg]

But... despite this... he has been the best of my dogs and, at the risk of sounding dramatic, has taught me great life lessons. It's amazing how the ones that cause you the most pain are often the closest to your heart.

 

I understand completely. I feel the same way about my difficult dog, an IG I got when I was in high school. He's been gone 6 years now but will always have a special place in my heart. I posted a thread for him in Remembrance a couple years ago:

http://forum.greytalk.com/index.php/topic/286868-casey-birthday-at-the-bridge/