Xan
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Posts posted by Xan
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Thanks, EmbersDad and Patsy.
:I sewed up Wabi's coat for the pillow last night. (Stabbed myself once, and managed to wear a cut into my thumb, 'cause I'm such a pro.) I need to get stuffing. I'm egging my husband to paint me a picture of a dandelion, in his own loose style (which I can't come close to). I got a brass heart pet tag engraved like this:
Wabi
Thank you
Eat the
Dandelions
It's now on a silver chain around my neck with two other heart tags (for my first dog, Hobie, and for Happy, our broodie who died two years ago).
The tattoo idea is on hold. I found an artist who does amazingly painterly work, but she's expensive (as she should be), she's in NY (I'm in Washington state) and she hasn't answered my email yet, so ......
I'm still in that memento phase, that wanting some THING to see, touch, hold onto that will feel like or remind me of Wabi, hold all the memories and sorrow for me, and somehow bring her back. The impossibility of that is the absurd and terrible part, and my awareness of that awful fact through it all.
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Freya
in Remembrance
Your special girl! What a gift she was, and the time she was able to share with your mom was obviously something very meaningful to her. Watching her come into her own, becoming a happy healthy dog, having adventures, and sharing those good times is extra special when she came to you in such rough shape. Her big heart just wouldn't be polluted by her past, but shone through like the star she was.
My heart goes out to you in your loss. In time, I hope the joy of your time together can smooth the harsh pain of her passing.
:bighug -
Aww, Elizabeth, thanks! You have her essence pretty well summed up.
Those pictures all just bring back those early days, when she was with you and I was just starving to get my eyes and hands on her. I think that's pretty clear in that last pic, where I'm just lost in love with her on the floor in your office during our first meeting, oblivious to you or H (his feet behind me expressing patience :rollingeyes: ).
Looking at those pictures, I can just about feel her thick soft puppy fur, that stayed so soft her whole life. That rolling toss of her head and those bubbly eyes just waiting to spring some kind of mischief ... that unique sit and curvy roach ... her frail little leg all shaved and bandaged, with that angry fresh wound on the hip
...This all got me sobbing again, when I thought I might be past that clutching, desperate stage of grief, but it seems it keeps sneaking up on me still.
Thanks for everything, Elizabeth. Thank you.
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That's heartwarming. I hope it gives you some comfort, Robin!
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Jennie, thanks.
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What a neat image, 2_Lg! Thanks.
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Thanks (on-going!)
: My husband likes the idea of the Wabi pillow, too. I just got an email from JoAnn's announcing a sale on pillow stuffing: it's fate!
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Holly
in Remembrance
Your beautiful girl is deep in your heart, where she belongs. You can't see her with your outside eyes anymore, but she's there.
:bighug -
Dog zen: I love it!
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*snuffling* Thank you.
You're right; I do feel ... well, "glad" isn't the right word, but I know it saved her a lot of longer term suffering to go so quickly, and while she had been able to enjoy her life right up to the last couple hours.
Meanwhile, Pogo is trying to climb up in my lap, wagging and snuffling his wet nose in my face. He's very distracting!
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Thanks. No, it never is long enough, is it?
I've been washing and sorting through her stuff (coats, pajamas, collars, booties, sweaters) to send to the Galgos, and there's this one plush fleece coat that neither DH nor I can let go of. I'm thinking of ... I know this sounds morbid ... filling it with stuffing, and having it as a pillow. Am I totally around the bend, or have I come up with a neat idea??? I'm doing it, either way!
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I am just seeing this Xan -- completely undone by seeing her name here. I am so sorry, so very sorry.
I followed her story and was so deeply impressed by the way you named her and how she lived up to the name.
She filled my heart with joy. Absolute strangers have heard about the meaning of Wabi's name, and about her dandelions.
I named one of my pets in WoW after her, and told my British friends (who I play with) about her special perfection, and about her dandelions.
I remember my little lion faced cat, who died many years ago and think of Wabi because his name was Dandelion.
Bless you for sharing her with us; her lessons cannot be forgotten.... they are the kind that get engraved upon the heart.
Thousands of us, who have never met her, will carry her in our hearts for the rest of our lives. Sending hugs and big huge sunshiny meadows full of white light
Thank you for this. It makes my heart glad to think that her wonderful, quirky little self has had such a wide reach. You've made the (good) tears come again.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Wabi sounds like a very very special puppy.
I think the dandelion and heart would look beautiful as a remembrance tattoo.
That sketchier, watercolor-y look can absolutely be achieved, but imho you should find someone who can show you prior examples of similar technique.That's a good point. I'm still waiting to hear back from Big Dave about his opinions on this design. I'll ask him about the style, particularly.
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It's been a week, tonight. Still finding ourselves suddenly overcome. Still learning how to skip big parts of our routines, how to not look for the third dog, how to not hear her breathe at night, how to step over the dandelions without noting where the best ones are.
The worst has come, and gone, but it will be a cold cold winter.
Thanks for this outlet, and for the caring.
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OK, I'm not a tattoo person but I'm wondering if *just* the dandelion would be "better" than the heart surround. The location of it would make the dearness clear no problem.
Hmmm. I'll look at it that way, too. But, I'm kind of consistent with putting frame-shapes on things, even if the things then stick out of the frame. I get what you're saying, though. I did want it to have a little sort of water colory or pastel-like background to it, if it works out with tattooist to do get that effect, and for that I'd want the border. Also, the bit of red sets off the green well, I think.
Still trying to jump-start my brain and get some painting done! I have a deadline, and it's looking pretty impossible right now.
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I know what you mean about the tattoo. I got Frank's pawprints from the vet after he passed and I am debating (pretty sure I am going to do it!) getting one tattoo'ed over my heart. Or on my shoulder if it won't look right there. I need to find the absolute right artist to do it though.
: Yes: where? Who? IF?? I know that inner debate!Haven't been on GT in a while and am just seeing this. I'm so very sorry about dear sweet crooked little Wabi.
I remember when you first got her and were contemplating the perfect name - "Wabi" was it, although I don't recall the meaning ...She was such a special girl, loved by so many. Godspeed sweet Wabi.
That sent me on yet another definition hunt, since the meaning is not easy to translate or simple. I found this page, which really puts it so beautifully. Here's what it says specifically about the word "wabi" (as separate from the term "wabi sabi", which the page defines so nicely):
Wabi stems from the root wa, which refers to harmony, peace, tranquillity, and balance. Generally speaking, wabi had the original meaning of sad, desolate, and lonely, but poetically it has come to mean simple, unmaterialistic, humble by choice, and in tune with nature. Someone who is perfectly herself and never craves to be anything else would be described as wabi. Sixteenth-century tea master Jo-o described a wabi tea man as someone who feels no dissatisfaction even though he owns no Chinese utensils with which to conduct tea. A common phrase used in conjunction with wabi is "the joy of the little monk in his wind-torn robe." A wabi person epitomizes Zen, which is to say, he or she is content with very little; free from greed, indolence, and anger; and understands the wisdom of rocks and grasshoppers.While I would say that she was not "free from ... indolence,"
she had the rest of this down in her own way. Even balance, in her own off-center way. I love this first paragraph on the page:
Pared down to its barest essence, wabi-sabi is the Japanese art of finding beauty in imperfection and profundity in nature, of accepting the natural cycle of growth, decay, and death. It's simple, slow, and uncluttered-and it reveres authenticity above all. Wabi-sabi is flea markets, not warehouse stores; aged wood, not Pergo; rice paper, not glass. It celebrates cracks and crevices and all the other marks that time, weather, and loving use leave behind. It reminds us that we are all but transient beings on this planet-that our bodies as well as the material world around us are in the process of returning to the dust from which we came. Through wabi-sabi, we learn to embrace liver spots, rust, and frayed edges, and the march of time they represent.Xan.. I am so sorry to hear about Wabi... And you will be getting a Tattoo..
I think your design is great and we will make it very special for you..Thanks, Gil!
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What do you think of this for a tattoo?
I've been thinking of putting it right over my heart (or, you know, just above the chest pocket region). Not big. Just a couple inches. I don't even know if he can do it like this; sketchy and loose.
Or, maybe I'm going to get cold feet, and be satisfied with the drawing by itself!
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All your kind words bring us both comfort and more tears, as we're touched by your caring. We're making the very conscious effort to allow happiness to get in under the veil of sadness, to enjoy things, to hold tight to Wabi's lesson ... but we've a long way to go before that's easy. Still trying to recall how it was we lived before Wabi's death. Simple things still seem impossibly complicated. My husband got a bad cold the next morning as a reaction to the stress.
Janet, I like your siggy: "If you get the chance to sit it out or dance.......... I hope you dance!" Or, if you're Wabi-esque, chase the sitters around barking until they get up to dance, too.
I've already written to Gil about the possibility of getting a tattoo while in Dewey from the famous Dave. DH wants me to do it closer to home, but I feel like there's a rightness about getting a greyhound-loving person to do it, in a greyhound-centered environment. Even though it won't even have a greyhound in it!
I don't know if anyone is going to read all this, but it still feels good to write this stuff out.
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Ah, Jessica! I'm so sorry to hear this! Gigi has taken leave of the body but the pain stays behind with us, doesn't it?
I'm beyond sad reading that you had no help to the e-vet.
So hard to do anyway, and to be so thoroughly alone! Hang on. The joy you shared will slowly come back to you as comfort. The pain we just have to roll with until it starts to fade.
:bighug -
Thank you all so much for your kindness, and for sharing both Wabi and the pain of her loss with us. It's really been a sweet/painful comfort to us.
While I'm being strenuously encouraged NOT to make any big decisions for a little while, I'm actually considering getting a dandelion tattoo, over my heart. What do you all think?
I've never felt the need to permanently mark myself with anything, but ... I'm starting to "get" it, from the inside. -
So many full hearts and kind words!! Thanks to Wabi, that fragile vessel, we can all have this pain, which is just a sign of how much love she gave us all! In time, it will go back to the joy, the funny memories, the lesson. When I think of what I want to say to her, it all boils down to, "Thank you, Wabi."
When Happy died a couple years ago (really? How could it be so long?), I had heart-shaped brass tags made; one for her and one for my first dog, Hobie. Each has a couple words after his or her name that apply. Wabi's will say,
"Wabi
Thank you"
We are so sorry.
We never met her but she helped us through Kebo's ordeal.
When they told us what they would have to do to fix him I thought, its okay, he will look like that sweet girl Wabi we read about on GT.
We will continue to remember her every time we look at Kebo's funny face.
That is wonderful!
When I see Kebo's face, I think of how lovable he must seem to you, that you've gone through this thing with him, and he has this adorable face to turn up to you and shine with love. I'm glad Wabi could go before Kebo to light that way up with good associations!Xan, did she have gastric torsion? We lost our Labrador that way. I felt sort of the same; that Josh lived life at full throttle, and it would have been devastating to watch him die, inch by inch, the way so many of our beloved pets (and parents) do. He was gone before I even knew he was sick--I got the sad call after it was all over.
She was a special little girl that won't be forgotten.
Yes, it was gastric torsion. I watched a dobie mix I was pet-sitting, way out in the boonies beyond reach of vet help, die that way. I just knew it was bloat with Wabi, and had a horrible feeling it would not turn out well.
But, like you say, if there's a silver lining, that's certainly it. She was enjoying life right up to the last couple hours of her life, which she spent in my arms whispering our love to her right into her velvet ears.For Wabi.....forever fields of dandelions.........
That would surely be Wabi's idea of heaven!!
Wabi belonged to all of us. I'm so sorry to hear about her. She was a real sweetheart.
I'm so glad you feel that way! She was a gift to the whole world.
Tears here, too. I'm so sorry for your loss. Every one of our dogs is special, but sometimes one comes along that surpasses all expectations and it's a miracle they are with us in the first place. An extra special bond is created through the nurturing that is required for such a dog to survive and it makes every day a gift. I feel that way about Hope, and I think that was your Wabi, too. Many hugs. I'm sorry your time was cut short. Your tribute to Wabi is exceptionally well written.
That's it: every dog is special, particularly to their loved ones. We were incredibly lucky to have shared so many happy years with her, though it would never ever be enough, but it was important to share her with GT, at least, who's members were so open to her peculiar charms!
Hope is a lovely little thing. I know you love her with your whole hearts! It's there in her name.
I am still frequently guided by WWWD
WHAT WOULD WABI DO?
Heh! Good rule to live by!
(Answer: Eat the dandelions, then cuddle, and/or run around like a maniac, enjoy your dinner, then cuddle. If you can stick your foot in someone's sensitive areas - face, bits, whatever - all the better!
)
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Oh, you guys! I'm so touched, reading your messages to me and DH. Somehow, just knowing little Wabi's soul touched so many is a comfort, even though it means more hearts are heavy today.
Cara-Lea said something on FB that I just have to share with you here. It was so perfect (special emphasis mine):
Xan, my heart is just shattered to hear the news.. Wabi was such a special soul... I remember reading along her journey from when you saw her picture, to the process of bringing her home... to changing her name from "Sweetness" to Wabi. Every single time I see a dandelion, Wabi will be in my heart and thoughts. She was a message to all of us to love life, live with joy and embrace our imperfections until we can see them for what they really are.. the things that make us the most special. Know that we are thinking of you and sending you love and peace at this sad time. Run free, beautiful Wabi.That sums it up nicely.
Xan, I am so terribly sorry. My heart is shattered for you. I lost River a month ago (although I never posted about it) and know how difficult it is to imagine our lives without our precious ones to caress.
Wabi was exceptional in so many ways and wrapped herself around hearts throughout the world. We celebrated her courage, her survival and her extraordinary enthusiasm for life. Now we will weep together at her passing. Please accept my heart felt condolences. (((gentle hugs)))
With Love, Annie
Oh, Annie! Not beautiful River!
I'm so sorry! I'm sure you're still feeling that pain deeply. :bighug Celebrating is what I **want** to do for/about Wabi's life. It was an intense message of deep comfort I got as I lay sobbing in the back of the car with her still-warm body in my arms on the way home from the e-vet. Wabi's life was about celebration: that's the proper response to her life. Gratitude and celebration. I do feel both, but through the tears for now.
I remember as it was yesterday when Melissa and I took Wabi to the airport in Kansas City to begin her journey - she was known as Sweetness then. We could have never imagined her journey would take her so far and allow her to soar so high. Wabi was truly blessed to have found you Xan.
Over the years, following her on GT, we would take pictures and stories back to the farm where she was born. They were so happy knowing she was living a very special life with you.
May you find peace for her sudden loss and be sustained by the memories that are uniquely Wabi.
Godspeed precious one.
You took them pictures? That's so great! I don't think I knew that. I can't ever thank you enough for getting Wabi to me. The blessings she showered on us were mostly quiet,
but always joyfully profound. My heart is in my throat.
I'm so sorry for your loss of a very special girl. I'm quite sure this is what greeted her when she crossed the rainbow bridge..
This just made me burst into new tears - but, in a sorta good way. Thank you for that image.
I'm so, so sorry, Xan. Turbo left us in much the same way. One minute we we're taking him to the vet for what we thought was a GI issue, the next, we were signing euthanasia consent forms. It's brutal and a punch in the gut. I'm so very sorry. Wabi was a really special pup. Thank you for sharing her with us over the years. She will be greatly missed
Oh, awful. Yes, that's exactly it.
:( Poor Turbo. Poor you!! :bighug Although, I knew, I just knew it was bloat, a bit part of me was still hanging on to the comfort of denial. I still made DH come with me, just in case. -
Thank you so much. I'm such a mess.
I've got her Remembrance thread up here.
No pics yet, but maybe later.
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Wabi's gone.
H and I are in shock. It happened so fast. At 6:30 last night, I was calling vets because she seemed to have gone into gastric torsion (aka bloat, where the stomach actually flips around, cutting off any flow of normal stuff and blood, resulting in all sorts of very bad things and requiring emergency surgery to survive), and by 10pm, we were fitting the sod together on top of her grave.
I can't even tell you how this feels. I'm trying to remember the lessons of Wabi: take joy in every little thing, every day, despite any obstacles or physical constraints. I'm trying to be happy for her, that her passing was so fast, and she never had to grow old, or be slowly whittled away by her various weirdnesses. I'm trying to remember all the fun stuff, and how she made us laugh and smile every single day, how she brought us Pogo (for better and worse!
), and was loved by so many because of her unique life. And speaking of Pogo, he's bounding and bouncing around, banging against me, snorting, tossing toys ... full of fun and life. That's a lesson, too.
I know you all understand how devastating this is, how hard it is to see through tear-swollen eyes, to type with shaking hands, to consider going on as if life still had a spark when you saw it go out just hours ago. Pogo reminds me that life can still feel good. Maybe just not so much right now.
Wabi was special, inside and out. Born with multiple deformities, she was a kennel favorite until I saw a picture of her, and KNEW she was my dog. Many people moved mountains to bring her to me, whom I can never ever thank enough. She arrived weak and lame in one leg, with the foot knuckled under, and with a sinus infection that streamed goo in a long ribbon from one nostril. ElizabethGPS took her in and got her vetted until my husband and I had gotten moved into our new house, holding her for about a month. In that month she lost her spleen during her spay, died under anesthesia, was resuscitated, had another operation to try to repair her hips enough so that she might gain use of her funny leg, then had to have her stitches re-done since the little monkey removed them herself, and wooed me from afar. When I first got my hands on her, I never ever wanted to let go. She was soft as a bunny, and stayed that way her whole life. Despite the surgery and months of physical therapy, Wabi insisted she was just fine walking on mostly three legs with a kick-stand, and that's just the way it was.
Wabi has been a real star here on GT, too. Thanks to the magic of Photoshop, she has traveled through time and space, and even literature, on a couple of epic voyages. She's met several of our GT family and some of their dogs, all of whom she at least attempted to chase around her yard, scooting along with her head up their hinders until they ran away from her nagging encouraging barking. A particular favorite of hers was Lori's Mazie. Twice Wabi's size, Wabi didn't care. Those spots just mesmerized her, and simply had to be harassed into running non-stop the few times they met.
I work at home, winters are long, wet and cold here (not much fun outside) and I don't travel much: Wabi and I spent a LOT of time together. Leaving her, even to go out to a movie, took an effort of will. Going on trips always meant tears of missing her. Now she's gone, and won't ever butt that snorty little face into my lap again.
Hug your loved ones. That's all I can say for now. I should post pictures, but it's just too much at the moment.
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She's ... gone!
I'll write in Remembrance later, but now I'm just ... oh, you know. I know you do.
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:bighug 
Cut Foot- Continuous Reopening?
in Health and Medical discussion
Posted
Hm! That's a tough one! I don't have any experience, but a bootie seems like a good idea 'til you're really sure it's healed once and for all. It makes me wonder about ... something ... adhesive. Like that liquid bandage stuff or super-glue (except the solvents can NOT be good for the health!) Duct tape? I've used that for corns and a pad wound that took forever to fill in, and it sticks amazingly well, for days. Maybe that's your answer?