Crabby About "special Attention"

[AEB]

I took Gamo to the vet yesterday. We were gone around an hour. Kevin was left home because I did not have the wagon available. Since we got home yesterday Kevin has seemed pouty and jealous. THis morning he snapped at Gamo when Gamo was scouting for toys near the bed he was laying in. Kevin has generally been moody since yesterday and giving us serious stinkeye. It seems, but maybe I am crazy or totally wrong, that he thinks time I spent with Gamo was some type of favoritism. ANd he still seems crabby about the whole thing.

 

Am I crazy? And if not, then any suggestions?

 

I gave them both calming tea and will take them for a short walk before I leave. I plan to have either DH or I take Kevin somewhere this afternoon so he feels he got some favoritism. I also want to try to ignore Gamo more. He will weasel-in when we are giving Kevin attention. Kevin has never cared. But I think he cared about the trip away from him. When they had their fight two weeks ago it was after Kevin had been left alone a couple of hours. I am sensing a patten...

[silverfish]

I find that two boys together (and probably two girls together) are far more competitive than one of each. Though that can be different depending on the personalities, of course.

 

My advice is always to let the dogs sort out 'pack' position for themselves. If you try to impose an order for them, they can appear to obey while you're home, but it can cause fights which break out while you're gone and not there to watch them, which is maybe what happened two weeks ago.

 

In this case, yes, I'd say Kevin feels his nose has been put out of joint, but there's not much you can do about it. Just leave them to get on with it. If you feel he's likely to actually take a chunk out of Gamo again, muzzle them both, or separate them, any time you're not right there with them.

 

For the future, since there will inevitably be times when one needs to go out without the other, work on getting them used to it. Take Gamo out without Kevin, and take Kevin out without Gamo. It need only be a few minutes at first, but try to work up to an hour or so. I always try to make sure we do this, especially since neither of us work, so both dogs are used to us both being there all the time. There have been several occasions when a dog needed an emergency trip to the vet, or one was injured and not able to do the distance that the other needed for exercise, so ... we try to get them used to it so they're not freaked out when it happens.

 

I think you need to be positive (firm) when you leave them. I usually say to the one being left 'You stay here. See you later!' The 'You stay here' should be in a command voice, and the 'See you later' can be cheerful and light. Try to make it an ordinary event in every way possible. I also say the same thing when I'm leaving them both, by the way.

Edited April 18, 2013 by silverfish

[Guest PiagetsMom]

 

For the future, since there will inevitably be times when one needs to go out without the other, work on getting them used to it. Take Gamo out without Kevin, and take Kevin out without Gamo. It need only be a few minutes at first, but try to work up to an hour or so. I always try to make sure we do this, especially since neither of us work, so both dogs are used to us both being there all the time. There have been several occasions when a dog needed an emergency trip to the vet, or one was injured and not able to do the distance that the other needed for exercise, so ... we try to get them used to it so they're not freaked out when it happens.

 

I think you need to be positive (firm) when you leave them. I usually say to the one being left 'You stay here. See you later!' The 'See you later' should be in a command voice, and the 'See you later' can be cheerful and light. Try to make it an ordinary event in every way possible. I also say the same thing when I'm leaving them both, by the way.

 

I think this is really good advice. I didn't do this with my first 2, Piaget and Mirage. When one went to the vet, etc., they both went. When Piaget broke her leg here at the house and we had to make the emergency trip to the vet, Mirage had to stay behind by himself - we had our hands full with just Piaget. Mirage did okay, but I can tell you that I worried almost as much about Mirage being left alone for the first time as I did about Piaget and that horrible situation.

 

When Maya came to us, I started right away walking them seperately every day for a short time so that each of them were used to the other leaving and them being left alone.

 

I also use the same "farewell" every time I leave the pups - I muzzle them up and then as I walk out the door I tell them, "Be good, I'll be back".

[a_daerr]

Mine do this too... not to the degree you described, but they definitely get pouty when the other goes somewhere alone.

Henry went through the trash a few times when Truman was at obedience class, and he RARELY gets into trouble on his own.

[Guest grey_dreams]

One-on-one doesn't have to be a big investment either, it's enough just to take them for short-medium walks individually. Then they get used to the idea that sometimes one of them goes out alone with you. Of our four daily walks, I usually do at least one or two with only one dog at a time, that is with our relatively new pairing of Zariel and Zhivaya. When it was Zuki and Zariel, we always did everything together because those two boys were so closely bonded. But with Zariel and Zhivaya the dynamic is different, and they both enjoy the one-on-one time with me and to go for a walk alone with me. I suspect that Kevin and Gamo would also enjoy the one-on-one time with you.

[Brandiandwe]

Brandi is a therapy dog so she and I head out regularly alone. When we do I make sure that Paige gets some alone time and a ride in the car with just the two of us. I think it's more the car ride than anything else which she wants because after I've taken Brandi out alone in the car, the next time I go into the garage to go out somewhere, Paige follows me out and lines herself up beside 'her' door and waits for me to open it.

[Guest Greyt_dog_lover]

Dogs do not have the cognative ability to hold resentments. This is a higher brain function that requries a large frontal cortext to establish those emotions, dogs simply do not have the ability for those emotions. Dogs dont "get even" with people for perceived insults. Dogs live in the moment and not much further. They learn patterns and react to the pattern or situation.

[silverfish]

Dogs do not have the cognative ability to hold resentments. This is a higher brain function that requries a large frontal cortext to establish those emotions, dogs simply do not have the ability for those emotions. Dogs dont "get even" with people for perceived insults. Dogs live in the moment and not much further. They learn patterns and react to the pattern or situation.

 

Correct. But they do jockey for position, and if they perceive that their companion/competitor is (apparently) seeking to elevate himself by taking up the favoured person's time, they do react to that 'pattern'. It affects the way they behave, both to their companion/competitor and to the favoured person.

 

I see it often with my two boys; if I give one attention, the other is instantly there, pushing in between, and competing for that attention. And if one feels that he hasn't had enough attention, well, if it's Sid, he'll give Jeffie the stink eye for the rest of the day, but if it's Jeffie, he'll growl at Sid every time he touches him when they're lying down. It's kind of funny, but at the same time, you need to be aware what's going on.