Ok I Admit My Heart Dog Is Not Perfect

[Guest avadogner]

Hi everyone,

I sadly admit that my beloved, heartdog Ava is a bit of a bully. Ava has been a only child/dog for 9 yrs. We adopted her at 18 months of age after she washed out of racing. We now know it most likely due to a hip defect that is now a source of pain (being treated and managed) and limits her activity. Last yr when the symptoms became worse, she showed signs of depression and our vet recommended a buddy for her. We gladly and happily chipped. Ava in addition to being a only child is a dominant female who doesn't share her space well. We fostered a female yrs ago and it got ugly fairly quick. No fighting but growling and snarling. Zelda (the foste)r was quickly placed. We learned that Ava didn't mesh well with other females. So this time around and after consulting GT we asked for a submissive male. Ava boarded with our rescue group while we were on vacation and they tested her with their sub males. We ended up with our super sweet, not too bright but the sweetest Beta boy. He's 92 lbs and Ava is 54 but she runs the show and he is cool with it.

 

Fast forward 5 months, Ava has begun bullying Augie. He refuses to play with any of her old toys, lay in her beds, touch anything she even looks at. I give them both goodies and she will just look at him and he will refuse to eat the treat. I've even caught her standing over him giving him the stink eye when she wants to take his bed. She has 4 beds around the house (the most comfy too for her back) but she wants whatever bed he is in. He just gets up and comes crying (literally-he's EXTREMELY vocal). I then go make her get back to her bed. Now he is not wanting to eat his meals in the same room as her. They eat totally different diets due to poor health and she has never shown any interest in his food.

 

She's never started anything too aggressive but has snarled a couple times when he got too close to her when she was sleeping. He is very goofy and clumsy and tends to step on my feet and her's and boy it hurts. I corrected her for the snarling. Augie is so submissive all it takes is a look from her and he is crying to Mommy.

 

I was so incredibly worried about Ava being pushed around and feeling bullied and now I have a bully on my hands. I supervise closely and do not give treats with them together. I muzzle when they are left alone which is very rare. I am not all that worried about fighting. I just want them to be happy together and for Augie to feel more comfortable in his home. I know Ava is old and in pain and isn't likely to change her ways. Can anyone offer an tips who have been in this situation? I know she likes him because she is so happy to see him when he gets back from his daily walk. She gets up and sniffs him down and checks him out and wags her tail.

 

I know part of this is my fault. In my pre adopt research, the books said to feed her first, give treats first etc to help him see she is the dominant dog. I thought I was doing the right thing but I have encouraged her to be extra dominant with him. Any advice to help correct her behavior would be appreciated.

-ava and augie's mum

 

 

[Guest mcsheltie]

Joey was my first Sheltie. He wouldn't play with our other dog (Malinois), so I thought getting another Sheltie was the thing to do. Well... they acted like they hated each other from the start. But in reality it was like the movie Grumpy Old Men. They really did like each other, they just had their own way of relating to each other.

 

Unless I am afraid blood will be drawn, I just let them be. We humans often over think things. Ava may run him off a bed or two, but eventually they will settle down and sleep for the night. They are what they are. I don't think you need to feel guilty. Your feeding her first etc... really didn't have much to do with it. They would have ended up at the same place anyway.

 

I do the same thing with my own male vs. the client dogs. I feed him first, I make sure he knows he is top dog in my eyes. I think he deserves it.

 

Actually your dogs sound like my DH's grandparents They were married for 60+ years.

[greysmom]

Very simply, if you don't like what she does then don't allow her to do it.

 

I also have a dog bully in a pack of five and I have to stay on Toni all. the. time. She would take all the treats, sleep on all the beds, eat all the food, monopolize attention time, and basically tell everyone else what to do every single minute of the day. If she does something I don't like, she gets reprimanded. If she tries to take a bed, she's the one the that gets moved. If she starts running the yard for the other dogs she gets leashed up and is not allowed.

 

She's gotten a lot better. One she figured out she didn't *have* to run the house - that was my job - she began relaxing. It's not going to scar you dog for life if she get's told "no" once in a while. And she is definitely not too old to learn some new manners.

 

We humans care a lot more about how dogs interact in our homes than they do. They will figure it out on their own, but when it comes to actually changing the behavior of another dog, I wouldn't allow that. Just my opinion.

[Guest avadogner]

Very simply, if you don't like what she does then don't allow her to do it.

 

I also have a dog bully in a pack of five and I have to stay on Toni all. the. time. She would take all the treats, sleep on all the beds, eat all the food, monopolize attention time, and basically tell everyone else what to do every single minute of the day. If she does something I don't like, she gets reprimanded. If she tries to take a bed, she's the one the that gets moved. If she starts running the yard for the other dogs she gets leashed up and is not allowed.

 

She's gotten a lot better. One she figured out she didn't *have* to run the house - that was my job - she began relaxing. It's not going to scar you dog for life if she get's told "no" once in a while. And she is definitely not too old to learn some new manners.

 

We humans care a lot more about how dogs interact in our homes than they do. They will figure it out on their own, but when it comes to actually changing the behavior of another dog, I wouldn't allow that. Just my opinion.

 

 

 

Thank you for the tips,

I have been making her move anytime I catch her in his bed. The few times she's barked at him, I've gently scolded her. When I catch her giving her the stink eye, I redirect her attention to something else like doing one of her tricks or giving her a nylabone to focus on. I know they are dogs and they will work their pack dynamics out but I see myself as the BIG ALPHA so I am trying to discourage the bullying. I will keep trying and hopefully time and training will help. I did catch her laying on the bed next to his and almost touching behinds. For Ava, this is as close to a cuddle as she will give to anyone but humans. I was so tickled that I took a picture. I know from chat on GT that it can take up to a year to have them settle in. Thanks for the advice and any other tips will be appreciated!

-ava and augie's mum