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Forevermybabies

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    Rex

    in Remembrance

    Posted

    Rex, I still have the picture that your mommy drew of you for my wall. You are missed and thought of often. So many of our beautiful friends surround you with love.

     

    Tonya, you have my sympathy.

    I Cant Get Over It

    in Remembrance

    Posted

    I'm so sorry for all your pain. I guess the thing I noticed in your post is that you seem to feel that you are supposed to "get over it." Honestly, I don't think you EVER get over it...you get past it. The hurt eases enough that you can start to focus on other things.

     

    I think grief is like carrying a heavy package over a hill. When you first start, it feels unbearable, and you can't believe that you have to go on. But you DO have to keep moving. As you climb, the package is lighter, but the hill is still steep. By the time you get to the top, you can look around and see that things are not as bad as you thought going up. Things will be okay. Then going down, you have to be careful. You are still aware that you are carrying a burden, but it isn't as heavy and you are going downhill...you start to feel like you will reach level ground soon.

     

    When you reach level ground, the burden is not so heavy, and is now something that you can look at clearly. It's the love and memories that you carry...and will carry with you always.

     

    You suffered not only a loss of a friend, but the additional burden of her added care, and the resentment you felt towards your husband for not helping as much as you felt he should, given his relationship with her, and also the resentment towards your mutual friends, who ask after him, and not you. But they couldn't know what a huge job you did, or how much love that took on your part.

     

    Anyway, this got long...my point is, that it DOES get better, and you will be okay. But it takes a long time for many people. My Joe passed away in August 2001. I STILL feel sad when I think about him. But I can think about how funny and sweet he was. I can remember his life, and not dwell so much on his death. He is always here with us because he is in our hearts. I still cry for him, but not very often after three years. That first year...I was a basket case. Anyone brought him up, and I went to pieces. You are perfectly normal. And you WILL be okay.

    Have You Seen Your Pet?

    in Remembrance

    Posted

    Incidentally, I've had one "visitation" from my grampa, who died when I was 5. It was an amazing and beautiful experience. It happened that I wasn't actually sleeping at the time. It honestly was one of those times that changes your whole belief system.

    Have You Seen Your Pet?

    in Remembrance

    Posted

    About two weeks after Joe died, and right after we got Angel, I was lying in bed, and saw a greyhound tail - with a white tip - slip out the door of the bedroom into the kitchen. I didn't HEAR anything, but didn't think anything of it. Then later I thought, we'd just gotten Angel, but I was SURE she didn't have a white tip on her tail...but Joe did. I went and checked her tail...no white tip.

     

    Then more recently I had a dream where Joe came. It was SO real. And I just felt so much love. It was a huge comfort. I wished I didn't have to wake up.

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