How Am I Supposed To Cope With The Loss When

[NeylasMom]

I'm so sorry.

 

I can only reiterate what others have said, you have not failed your girl at all. I like the idea that others have suggested of having a portrait done from a favorite photo or creating some other memorial that will have meaning to you. My first two greys are still with me, but I lost my childhood cat years ago. Like ElizabethGPAPS, his ashes sit in a box that I eventually moved to a closet. That may seem harsh, but the truth is that's not what holds meaning to me. It's the memories and photos and other keepsakes we hold onto.

 

Still, I know how devastated I would if something like this happened. Again, I'm sorry.

[Guest Spencers_Greyt]

That is unconscionable! What would happen if that were done to human remains! I would be so angry and have a talk with the company that was supposed to care for Suenos's remains! In the meantime please don't blame yourself as it has nothing to do with you and your care. You did all you could do in life and after life. This just makes it even harder to get some closure and move on in your grieving process!

 

[Guest Leah]

Please don't think you failed her. This was not your fault. She will live in your heart and your memories forever.

[Guest snaphappy]

Thank you all so much for your kind words. It does make me feel better, though it is difficult not to blame myself. I've not really had too many issues with not having the physical remains of other pets at the bridge - they've all been buried and we've since moved away. But Suenos is different. The only reason I can think of is because she was with me for such a painfully short time - only 2 and a half weeks.

 

But you all are right. I will get over this loss eventually and be able to move on. But right now it still hurts to know she's not coming home.

 

Again, I thank you. The words are so weak in conveying the appreciation I feel for all of your thoughts here.

[Guest greytexplorer]

Please don't worry about Suenos. She doesn't know she is missing! And I just know what a happy pup she was for the time that she had with you. Thanks for being there for her when she needed YOU.

 

~Pat

[Guest zoolaine]

I would be sad/mad/heartbroken if I was in your position. But regardless she will be waiting for you at the bridge. Thank you for loving her and giving her her forever home, even if it was for such a short time. She went to the bridge being loved and with a forever family.

[Guest HoustonGreys]

I am so very sorry for you --- what a horrible thing to happen! I was upset when Turbo's pawprint and lock of hair was lost in the mail so I can understand your sadness, grief and anger over her ashes being lost. I have read some of the replies and I hope you can focus on knowing she is waiting for you at the Bridge and if she could tell you right now she'd be saying, "Don't worry, I'm here having fun with my friends and I'll be waiting for you." It's so hard to focus on other things when the tangible is out of reach. We are always so hard on ourselves when most of the time we had no control at all --- just like this.

[Guest SoulsMom]

I'm so, so sorry this happened to you. I would be utterly devestated as well. I have no soothing words, just that I hope you can find peace

[Guest TaraCoachCougar]

God grant you a way to find some peace with this.

 

Deep down you need to know it's not your fault. I think it's extra special that your love for her was obviously so strong in such a short time. Those final two and a half weeks with you as "Mom" were the best gift she could have gotten. That's what meant something to her. You two were put together at that point for a reason. It doesn't mean we'll ever understand it, but you gave when you were called to give.

 

I'm so sorry your hurt hearts!

[Guest DoofBert]

I know the ashes are the tangible remains. (Shame ont he crematorium) But, I found great comfort by putting together a scrapbook of my bridge boy's stuff.... I have his favorit collar and tags in a special place, along with his photo.

 

Hugs to you ........and, like everyone lse said, you haven't failed at anything.

[Guest chubbster]

My heart goes out to you...but as so many others have said, you did not fail her in any way.

 

It is unfortunate that with the crematorium's mistake, you feel that you lost whatever control that you had left.

 

There are lost of wonderful suggestions that others have posted...may I add three more?

 

The greyhound community is a strong one and my dear friends have helped me in many ways:

 

One made me a bracelet with Phoenix name.

 

One friend made me a video (posted under "Phoenix's Tribute Video")

 

 

In addition, several friends organized a "luncheon" where many of those who knew Phoenix came. He had been taken from his previous adopter nearly 20 lbs underweight and with a broken leg that had not been treated for 7 months. He was at the kennel for a couple of months recovering and gaining strength until we could adopt him and get him his necessary medical care, including surgery. Many many people visited him, fed him, walked him, and prayed for him. At the luncheon, we all just enjoyed each others company. There is strength with those who understand.

 

Wishing you peace,

 

~judy

 

 

[Guest snaphappy]

UPDATE: I went to the farm today where Suenos came from. It was *wonderful* to see her breeders and kennel managers again, as Suenos definitely held a very special place in their hearts, as well. We also got to see her two boys, who just got tattooed a few days ago. They are getting to be *so* handsome! They both have her signature white toes and tail tip. I'm excited to be able to watch them grow up, school, and eventually race.

 

I also visited with the broodies on site, falling in love with a couple of them. No more oldsters for us until the kitty passes on, though. He's dealt with enough. So, I've decided that as part of my tribute to Suenos, while I can't take in a broodie for a few years, I can do my best to help them find homes. So I'm making it my personal mission to market these wonderful treasures to those interested in adopting. My hubby and I also talked, and we'll be purchasing fancy martingales for every senior adopted.

 

Lastly, we met the young pup with a broken leg that I posted about here. The kids and hubby fell absolutely head over heals for this adorable little guy. So, he'll be coming home at the end of the school year (right after tattooing). We should be able to form a respectful relationship between him and the cat, barring a too high prey drive, esp since the cat will feel more comfortable beating up on him. While we know that an older pup could be successful with the cat, as well (we have 2 to prove it), we are thinking more of the cat at this point, and others that know him concur that he'll handle a smaller (albeit only briefly) critter better.

 

So, Suenos has brought us a new young babe to raise and given me a mission, a purpose, to honor her until I am able to give a home to another broodie myself.

 

I will definitely be taking some of your ideas and using them, as well. I have her fancy collar from Nancyb, a tag that I ordered especially for her with her tattoo on it, some of her hair (thank you, collars!), and some (way too few) precious pictures. My dear friend has also agreed to do the girls' portraits for me, so I will have a portrait of her with her daughter and our other girl.

 

After visiting the farm, I am missing her fiercely tonight. But I'm feeling some comfort in solidifying our situation here at home and in finding a purpose, a way to channel my grief and my desire for these amazing hounds.

 

Thank you all so very much for your kind words, for sharing your personal stories, and for being so very supportive.

[Forevermybabies]

Sounds like you're doing your best to cope, and that's great. A puppy? lol Good luck! You certainly won't have time to brood. (So to speak.) Big hugs.