As a new greyhound owner this is my first post on this forum (and also afraid I'm going to get shouted out for giving bad advice!) but I had to reply to you because I felt exactly like you did when we got our first greyhound 3 months ago. And I know how awful it is.
We had wanted a dog for so long and were prepared but when we got him I couldn't cope at all. For the first week I didn't stop crying, I didn't eat and didn't sleep. I have anxiety anyway and getting him sent it through the roof and I was near the worst I'd ever been.
Now 3 months in I'm a lot better. Our grey has problems with other dogs and doesn't like being left alone, so it's still hard work and I still sometimes feel trapped. But we've seen a behaviourist and have a training plan in place and I now feel comfortable taking it day by day.
I'm far from an expert but just wanted to say you're not alone in feeling like this, and it does get better. A few things that have helped me personally :
- Splitting the care with my partner. We both have dog care days during the week and dog free days. This means I get a couple of days a week where my partner is responsible for all of his walks, feeding etc so I have a break from thinking about it, and I do the same for my partner. It gives me back some normality and headspace which works better for me than doing half of his care each day.
- In the early days, telling myself 'If by X date I still feel like this, I can give him back'. It helped me be less overwhelmed with the idea of caring for him forever and took some pressure off. We were in contact with our rescue group and they reassured us we could take a bit of time to make our decision and would be happy to have him back without judgment if needed. Knowing that was very reassuring.
- Not trying to get everything right straight away. I was worried if we didn't fix his separation anxiety immediately, it would be a lost cause and he would never learn how to be alone. That's not true.
- Working in increments. We didn't want him sleeping in our room either. He would happily sleep in his crate at night but only if he could see us – so we moved it in front of our bedroom door, then moved it back a couple of inches each night. Now he sleeps in the lounge just fine. Even if it takes ages, having a plan can make you feel a bit more in control! Oh and pick one priority to work on at once. We didn't try fixing his separation anxiety until we were all comfortably sleeping at night. It would have been too much for us.
I personally would let him follow you to make tea, go to the loo, whatever for now. I'm sure others might disagree and like I say this is only based on my experience and not expert advice, but for me the priority had to be getting my head into a space where I was calmer and could cope. Him pacing and whining would send me over the edge! Once you are feeling better, you can start implementing rules / training as needed. At least, that's how I approached it.
Our boy has relaxed massively since I got a handle on my own anxiety and worry and we're all doing much better. I still see other people with their greys and think it's not fair how easy they seem to have it but in reality everyone has their own struggles.
We love our boy and are committed to making it work with him and giving him a happy life. He's started rolling over for belly rubs and coming up to us for a fuss, so we're getting there slowly but surely!
The last thing I'l say is that while you're confused and unsure whether you've made a mistake, trust your past self. You planned for this, researched it and wanted it - trust that you made the right decision then. You were probably thinking a lot clearer then than you are now.
If when you are feeling calmer and more rational you're still unsure whether it's the right thing for you after all, then you can decide what to do from there.