MattB Posted November 9, 2022 Share Posted November 9, 2022 Daisy left us in August, she had been living with kidney disease for 18 months but well managed with diet. Her back legs had been getting weaker and our vet suggested Librela - I don't blame anyone or anything but the evening of her first injection she had a massive decline, her whole face changed and we wondered if it was a stroke. In the morning she was unsteady, uncomfortable and I knew it was time. She left very peacefully, held out her paw to the vet (and she hated HATED anyone touching her paws) and I swear I felt the fluttering of wings as she closed her eyes. I feel like there's something wrong with me emotionally - my dogs have been my world for the past 8 years and since Charlie left 18 months and Daisy in August, I've barely spoken their names. It's like they are in a part of my brain I can't access, I look at photos on the wall and they feel like strangers, I can't remember much about the 2 walks EVERY SINGLE DAY for the past 8 years, or sleeping on the floor with Daisy for the last year because her back was bad and I didn't want her trying to get to my bed upstairs, or cleaning their teeth every night. I sometimes cooked 4 times a day for Daisy during periods where she went off her food would only eat freshly cooked food and sometimes would only eat from my hand for weeks at a time. I can remember all the love and sometimes just cry spontaneously at the emptiness, but the day to day things feel like they've just gone and though it's only been 2 months it's like it was years ago. I don't know if this is a protective mechanism because it's just too painful. Do other people have this? I feel quite ashamed to even write this. I hear people talking about little details of life with their hounds and if feels like I'm forgetting everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreyPoopon Posted November 10, 2022 Share Posted November 10, 2022 (edited) Each of us handles grief differently. I too am in the "don't think about the details too much" camp. ETA: For what it's worth, I've lost several dogs to kidney disease. A couple of them--one in particular--crashed quite suddenly. It may not be typical but it does happen. Edited November 10, 2022 by GreyPoopon Quote Standard Poodle Daisy (12/13) Missing Cora (RL Nevada 5/99-10/09), Piper (Cee Bar Easy 2/99-1/10), Tally (Thunder La La 9/99-3/10), Edie (Daring Reva 9/99-10/12), Dixie (Kiowa Secret Sue 11/01-1/13), Jessie (P's Real Time 11/98-3/13), token boy Graham (Zydeco Dancer 9/00-5/13), Cal (Back Already 12/99-11/13), Betsy (Back Kick Beth 11/98-12/13), Standard Poodles Minnie (1/99-1/14) + Perry (9/98-2/14), Annie (Do Marcia 9/03-10/14), Pink (Miss Pinky Baker 1/02-6/15), Poppy (Cmon Err Not 8/05-1/16), Kat (Jax Candy 5/05-5/17), Ivy (Jax Isis 10/07-7/21), Hildy (Braska Hildy 7/10-12/22), Opal (Jax Opal 7/08-4/23). Toodles (BL Toodles 7/09-4/24) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerseyGirlInOz Posted November 10, 2022 Share Posted November 10, 2022 I lost my boy to osteo quite suddenly and completely unexpectedly in June, and I still can't bring myself to look a photos or watch videos of him. It hit me harder than I ever could have imagined Quote "Hurricane Sandi" (Baurna to Run). Forever missing my "Angel-With-A Crooked-Halo" Hailey, and "Mokkah" (Xpress Point) with all my heart. "If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went." ~~Will Rogers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Time4ANap Posted November 10, 2022 Share Posted November 10, 2022 (edited) It took me quite a while to be able to look at pics of Rocket and I couldn't watch his videos for a really long time. We've had a parade of seniors and some dogs in rough shape through here since, and while it never gets easier to lose one, I find that I don't dwell on or think about those little details either. After a few months, I did find that I could laugh again about something one of them did - sucn as Kate who was so proud of herself for strewing the trash from our Whataburger dinner all over the kitchen. She raided the trash can the next day while we were gone. We still have the locking trash can in honor of Kate. It takes time, and I don't think there's any one thing I can tell you that would really help immediately, but give it all the time you need. Eventually you will find yourself telling a story about one of them and laughing at their antics like you did when they were here. It caught me by surprise when it finally happened. It is okay to miss them, but it is also okay to not think about it if you're not ready to. Edited November 10, 2022 by Time4ANap werds are hard Quote Camp Broodie. The current home of Mark Kay Mark Jack and Gracie Kiowa Safe Joan. Always missing my boy Rocket Hi Noon Rocket, Allie Phoenix Dynamite, Kate Miss Kate, Starz Under Da Starz, Petunia MW Neptunia, Diva Astar Dashindiva, and LaVida I've Got Life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BatterseaBrindl Posted November 10, 2022 Share Posted November 10, 2022 to all those grieving, whether either be a day, a month or years Quote Nancy...Mom to Sid (Peteles Tiger), Kibo (112 Carlota Galgos) and Joshi. Missing Casey, Gomer, Mona, Penelope, BillieJean, Bandit, Nixon (Starz Sammie), Ruby (Watch Me Dash) Nigel (Nigel), and especially little Mario, waiting at the Bridge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiveRoooooers Posted November 10, 2022 Share Posted November 10, 2022 I knew that I would never remember a lot of things too and decided early that I would write down as much as I could in the campers' tributes. It helps to reread them, especially when I'm having a moment and that wave we are all familiar with washes over me. If/when you feel up to it maybe starting a journal would help. Keep a notepad next to your bed or where you sit during the day and jot down anything that comes to mind. It can be months later that a memory shines through, and I add it then to to our stories. <I can remember all the love...> If you are remembering this, however, then you are remembering the most important of memories. Quote Old Dogs are the Best Dogs. Thank you, campers. Current enrollees: Punkin. AnnIE Oooh M, Ebbie, HollyBeeBop (Betty Crocker). Angels: Pal . Segugio. Sorella (TPGIT). LadyBug. Zeke-aroni. MiMi Sizzle Pants. Gracie. Seamie . (Foster)Sweet. Andy. PaddyALVIN!Mayhem. Bosco. Bruno. Dottie B. Trevor Double-Heart. Bea. Cletus, KLTO. Aiden 1-4. Upon reflection, our lives are often referenced in parts defined by the all-too-short lives of our dogs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
racindog Posted November 10, 2022 Share Posted November 10, 2022 I agree with everything above. Time, possibly journaling memories, and so on. Try to seek peace. They will be with you always. Like one of the posters above pointed out we all grieve differently and it is normal. I have found the biggest help for me is to lean on other dogs/the pack because they understand and somehow bring healing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie Posted November 10, 2022 Share Posted November 10, 2022 Be gentle with yourself, this is the way you're managing the pain of your grief and it's totally fine. You still love them like you did when they were here but you're filtering that a bit while you learn to cope with the new normal. It's been just over a year since I lost Rosie and my process seems to be some tears every day, but the funny things are popping into my head more often and I'm now able to tell people about them without ending up a blubbering mess. Everyone's process is the right one if it's helping you function. Big hugs. I enjoyed your stories of your two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macoduck Posted November 11, 2022 Share Posted November 11, 2022 Matt, I still have flashbacks to my Mazy’s death after horrible weeks of suffering that no specialist could diagnose. All it takes is hearing a dog scream to bring me back to those days. Only greyhound people understand it. Non-dog friends and coworkers thought I was nuts. Consider Greytalk your safe place. Consider our dogs to be your dogs too. Quote Freshy (Droopys Fresh), NoAh the podenco orito, Howie the portuguese podengo maneto Angels: Rita the podenco maneta, Lila, the podenco, Mr X aka Denali, Lulu the podenco andaluz, Hada the podenco maneta, Georgie Girl (UMR Cordella), Charlie the iggy, Mazy (CBR Crazy Girl), Potato, my mystery ibizan girl, Allen (M's Pretty Boy), Percy (Fast But True), Mikey (Doray's Patuti), Pudge le mutt, Tessa the iggy, Possum (Apostle), Gracie (Dusty Lady), Harold (Slatex Harold), "Cousin" Simon our step-iggy, Little Dude the iggy ,Bandit (Bb Blue Jay), Niña the galgo, Wally (Allen Hogg), Thane (Pog Mo Thoine), Oliver (JJ Special Agent), Comet, & Rosie our original mutt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MP_the4pack Posted November 11, 2022 Share Posted November 11, 2022 (edited) I'm like FiveRoooooers. I write down everything I can when I lose one. It takes days, sometimes weeks for me to get what I hope is everything. I have 12 at the Bridge now. It doesn't seem to get any easier but I do lean on my other dogs when I lose one. Edited November 11, 2022 by MP_the4pack Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greysmom Posted November 12, 2022 Share Posted November 12, 2022 Grief is a strange emotion. Uniquely tied to both our everyday lives and to our overall mental health. Everyone has to find their own way through to refind the balance in their lives and there's no right way or better way. Only your way. Give yourself time and patience and space to do this really hard thing. All of the above suggestions can be helpful, and you might need to try different things to find what works for you. Get out, get some exercise, volunteer, start a new hobby, take dance lessons - do something fun and different that engages you. Just remember that grief can also be - like many strong emotions - a black hole that we oftentimes need help to get out of. Joining a pet loss support group, or even just finding a good friend to listen, can be not just useful, but needed. Someone to offer an ear, a shoulder, objectivity, perspective, compassion. It's not a failure of any kind if you decide you need more professional help for all that. Unlike other difficult emotions - anger, frustration, hate - grief is always with us. We never really move through it and leave it behind. How do you leave behind such a huge part of your memories and life?? So it needs a different solution to get to the place where you can live with your grief and also live your life moving forward in a positive way. We've all been where you are now. {{{hugs}}} Quote Chris - Mom to: Felicity (DeLand), and Andi (Braska Pandora) siggy by Chris Harper, on Flickr Angels: Libby (Everlast), Dorie (Dog Gone Holly), Dude (TNJ VooDoo), Copper (Kid's Copper), Cash (GSI Payncash), Toni (LPH Cry Baby), Whiskey (KT's Phys Ed), Atom, Lilly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LBass Posted November 14, 2022 Share Posted November 14, 2022 Quote <I can remember all the love...> If you are remembering this, however, then you are remembering the most important of memories. Jan said the most important truth. Grief is such a grim and personal emotion and we each handle it differently. I think that the memories will come for you when your mind and body are ready to face and process them. Trust yourself and the reality of the love you very clearly shared with and for your beloved hounds. I'm so very sorry for your losses. Quote Lucy with Greyhound Nate and OSH Tinker. With loving memories of MoMo (FTH Chyna Moon), Spirit, Miles the slinky kitty (OSH), Piper "The Perfect" (Oneco Chaplin), Winston, Yoda, Hector, and Claire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LBass Posted November 14, 2022 Share Posted November 14, 2022 (edited) Duplicate post. Sorry. Edited November 14, 2022 by LBass Quote Lucy with Greyhound Nate and OSH Tinker. With loving memories of MoMo (FTH Chyna Moon), Spirit, Miles the slinky kitty (OSH), Piper "The Perfect" (Oneco Chaplin), Winston, Yoda, Hector, and Claire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattB Posted November 16, 2022 Author Share Posted November 16, 2022 Thanks so much everyone - and sorry for the lack of response, I had written a note of gratitude and for some reason I hadn't submitted properly. Feels like I want to sleep for a week now (which I can't do at the moment - small child) but I have started a list of memories. It's the day to day I want to remember the most, where Daisy lay, how she let me know when she wanted food (all the time) and how she always took a huge sigh (relief?) when I got home from work. xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnfar Posted November 17, 2022 Share Posted November 17, 2022 19 hours ago, MattB said: "but I have started a list of memories." I do that as soon as possible when any of mine pass. You can even print a copy out and bury it in a special place or even burn it to the 4 winds, whatever you need for closure. When Peggy's time came two months ago, I said to the vet I'm going to keep the memories. The grieving process tends to bring the happier ones to the front. I still walk the same places even without Peggy and see all the dogs and people she knew; I still miss her massively (as I did with all of my dogs), but I feel so priviledged to have been allowed to walk the same path as she did for 13 and a half years until she died just a few days past her 15th birthday. . Whether I get another (never been without a dog for more than six weeks since the 1980's) I'm not sure yet due to my age and the cost of living, but if I do, my heart is still plenty big enough to offer a forever home to another. Smile at the love you shared; I think they are only ever lent to us by God anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greytpups Posted January 25, 2023 Share Posted January 25, 2023 Birth date - day they leave us. It's the dash in between that's most important Quote Jan with precious pups Emmy (Stormin J Flag) and Simon (Nitro Si) and Abbey Field. Missing my angels: Bailey Buffetbobleclair 11/11/98-17/12/09; Ben Task Rapid Wave 5/5/02-2/11/15; Brooke Glo's Destroyer 7/09/06-21/06/16 and Katie Crazykatiebug 12/11/06 -21/08/21. My blog about grief The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not get over the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same, nor would you want to. ― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiveRoooooers Posted January 25, 2023 Share Posted January 25, 2023 2 hours ago, greytpups said: Birth date - day they leave us. It's the dash in between that's most important Thank you Jan. This is profound. Quote Old Dogs are the Best Dogs. Thank you, campers. Current enrollees: Punkin. AnnIE Oooh M, Ebbie, HollyBeeBop (Betty Crocker). Angels: Pal . Segugio. Sorella (TPGIT). LadyBug. Zeke-aroni. MiMi Sizzle Pants. Gracie. Seamie . (Foster)Sweet. Andy. PaddyALVIN!Mayhem. Bosco. Bruno. Dottie B. Trevor Double-Heart. Bea. Cletus, KLTO. Aiden 1-4. Upon reflection, our lives are often referenced in parts defined by the all-too-short lives of our dogs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mercsmom Posted January 28, 2023 Share Posted January 28, 2023 On 1/25/2023 at 4:15 AM, greytpups said: Birth date - day they leave us. It's the dash in between that's most important That is so true. My husband said I was giving Mercury an easy life and I said, "that's my job". The void left by his passing seems massive and I know it will take a long time to heal. The time in between his osteo diagnosis and his passing (12 days) was filled with anger, lots of anger, and sadness. I know it was the grief process starting. Who knows when it will end. I figure it will just suck in the meantime and I get on with things. Quote Momma to Jupiter. Mummy to my Bridge Angels, Mercury and Liberty, the world's best blackngreylabhound Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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