Still Hurts

[Greystoked]

Mary here.

It had been four months and four days since we lost our beloved Joey and the pain has not gone away. In fact it has gotten worse, no doubt because our current circumstances might prevent us from ever getting another greyhound. In another post Ray mentioned us maybe getting a cat. Honestly I don't want a cat or other animal.I'm not sure if  I could form the same bond. I don't know. Maybe i am just being selfish. But I am a lifelong dog person.

 Always I have relied on my canine friends for support and yes, unconditional love.

And now I don't have that. We don't have that.

When Ray was hurting or in a bad mood Sweetie and then Joey would get him in a better one. When I didn't want to get off the couch they would encourage me to get up and walk them. With Joey gone there doesn't seem to be much of a reason to do anything.

I am trying to hold it together. So is Ray. But getting another grey seems like mission impossible right now.

We are  trying to be strong.We could get a dog tomorrow if we wanted. The local shelter has plenty. C and K have both offered to drive us. But the dog wouldn't be a a greyhound. Most of the shelter dogs are either old, or they are pitbulls. Not sure how we feel about them. Our best bet is a Portuguese Pentango named Tipper. He is in the sighthound family and honestly looks like a small greyhound. But he is 9 years old. Don't know how long he would be with us, or if he could except us ( his first family where he lived from puppyhood gave him up when they moved to a place that forbade pets) as his family. Would he bond? I can't bear the thought of him not bonding.

Don't know what to do.

 

Thanks for listening.

 

Edited June 15, 2019 by Greystoked
bad words, grammar

[BatterseaBrindl]

 

So sorry that your heart is broken.

Most of us here have been through this and feel your pain.

Remember that a new dog will never, ever replace your old friend, but usually helps fill the void.  You may be pleasantly surprised at how much love you still have to give.

And an older dog like Tipper still has plenty of love to share......

[MP_the4pack]

How about fostering? You don't have to open your heart. Just yet. 

I have 8 at the Bridge and I still cry for the first one I lost in 1999. But my hearthound was grey #4. And my soulhound was grey #8. So I'm glad I didn't listen to my brain tell me " no more" after each loss.

[JaimeL]

I'm sorry for your pain, it can take a long time for grief to subside. Sometimes it never goes away. Another dog will bond with you, they are just so accepting and open to love. IMO senior dogs are the absolute best. You may not have them for a long time ( it's never long enough ) but they give back love like no other.

I hope you and Ray find peace and joy in your lives.

[Time4ANap]

We lost Rocket in October 2018.  Still hurts.  Always will. Once you've met your heart dog, you can't compare the dogs to come later against them. There is no comparison. 

We both originally said we would be taking a long break before adopting another dog. Every day in this house without Rocket was like serving a prison sentence. This house must have a greyhound in it. 

In February we met Petunia who was being fostered by a friend. She came for an afternoon visit and within an hour DW and I both said "sign the papers and give them the check."  I wanted a senior this time even though I know she won't be around nearly as long as Rocket. I can deal with that and we will do everything in our power to give her the maximum time on her couch. 

I've also learned that having a greyhound girl is Waaay Different than having a big goofy boy. So far, I wouldn't trade either experience, but I'm still missing my goofy boy every minute of every day. It's a different kind of missing him now that Petunia is here, and I wish he had been able to meet her. They would have taunted each other and made me laugh even more together than each one does individually. 

You'll know when you're ready, and you may not know it's the right dog until it just happens like it did with us. In our case, we sort of made it happen because we were both miserable without a dog here. We had met several other fosters in the months since Rocket passed and could have instantly adopted any of them but there was no connection and we didn't have the same urge to give them a home like we did with Petunia. Sometimes you just know. 

[MandysMom]

21 hours ago, Greystoked said:

Our best bet is a Portuguese Pentango named Tipper. He is in the sighthound family and honestly looks like a small greyhound. But he is 9 years old. Don't know how long he would be with us, or if he could except us ( his first family where he lived from puppyhood gave him up when they moved to a place that forbade pets) as his family. Would he bond? I can't bear the thought of him not bonding.

The first dog I adopted as an adult was an 8 year old Dalmatian. She bonded with me almost immediately. In fact, she hated most dogs and didn't really like most people, but she loved me right away. She also came to love my close friends. She had lived with her original family for almost 8 years and been passed around several of their friends' houses and eventually a rescue group when they couldn't keep her due to a family situation. She came in the house on a Sunday and acted like she had been here her whole life by Monday night. I only had her with me for 3.5 years before she died of cancer. Those were 3.5 wonderful years. Obviously, I can't tell you that Tipper would definitely bond with you, but it is certainly possible.

My second dog as an adult was my first Greyhound. When I had to say goodbye, it broke my heart, especially since I was getting ready to have major surgery and couldn't plan to adopt for quite some time. Eight months later, when I was starting to be okay physically, I decided I wanted another Greyhound, but someone very different than Mandy. Less than two weeks later, my current dog was a bounce back to our adoption group. I went to meet him and it was just right. My mom said that he was just waiting for me -- he originally came to our group the week Mandy died and I couldn't have considered him then. When I was ready, he was there. He's my crazy boy who wakes up with his tail wagging, which cheers me up greatly.

My bond with each of my three dogs I've had as an adult has been very different. None has been better or worse, just different. The one piece of advice I would say is to not expect another dog to be just like your sweet Joey. It's easy to want to compare a new addition to Joey, but that's not fair to either the new pup or you. There will be adjustments on both sides, but the joy of getting to know each other and the time you spend together makes it so worth it.

[sabrina]

I am sorry for you hurt & even more sorry that I cant help it go away for you.

[Batmom]

Sending lots and lots of hugs to you.

[Greystoked]

Ah. I see my Mary posted here. My apologies for taking so long to respond, thank you all for your kind words and advice. Yea, who would understand better, than Greytalkers. Thank you and thank you again.

We want a greyhound. No doubt of it. !st choice. Now Mary is doing a bit better, has been investigating shelters nearby. Sadly, we lost our car in 2016 and ran into some difficulties, so no replacement car yet.

Oh yes, a Grey, because Greys are the best. I'm afraid the dog Tipper that Mary mentioned, has found his home. Both sad and happy. Mostly happy, he looked a good boi. Other hounds out there, but so far away. I of course continue to hope for the miracle. We shall see.

When we had Sweetie Greyhound, he picked me, and 'rescued' me, and was so sweet and kind and loving and playful and dignified. Back then I joked here at GT that he seemed like the reincarnation of Ghandi. I felt he was the best dog ever, and when he passed I was sure we'd never see his like again. Oh yes, we must share home with another Grey, but it could never be the same. Never like Sweetie.

Then Joey came to share our humble abode, he came in, found his way to Mum's pillow (where Sweetie so often nuzzled his snout and napped,) and was 'home' that very night. And we discovered, to our very great surprise and joy, that no, Joey stole our hearts every bit as much as Sweetie, and more. It was like Sweetie was back home with us, except Joey roached on the bed all the time, where Sweetie never did manage a full-on roaching. How do you deal with such tremendous heartbreak and loss, only to be blessed with a dog even more wonderful. Can't happen. Shouldn't happen. But it did. And I was so afraid something would go wrong, that I would mess up somehow, and so I neglected coming here to share our joy with pics and vids with all you fine Greytalkers. I am so sorry for that. Not usually superstitious. And then, Too Late.

So, I'm hoping some big, goofy boy (or girl, doesn't matter, really) will somehow magically appear in our radar, needing a very loving forever home. And if, after sharing their heart and soul with us, for however long that may be, they too have to go off to the Rainbow Bridge, we will simply have to open our heart and home again to any dog that needs love.

I don't have to tell you. All of you, already know. Thank you all for sharing your homes and your hearts, your pics and vids and stories, your joys and sorrows. Greys are the best, but all dogs are Good Bois.

We do deserve them, despite what the meme says.

Butt scritches all around, say I!