When Do You Know ?

[Batmom]

I'm sorry you're facing this.

 

 

I do want to mention, though, that it might be worth trying a different approach her primary issues -- arthritis pain and weight loss, per your original post. My vet no longer prescribes Ultram for pain relief as it has not been found effective, and we here no longer use gabapentin either, same reason. Regarding the weight loss, if her teeth are in poor condition, that can affect her interest in eating and her ability to eat, as well as causing pain throughout the day. In addition, you have to feed a lot more canned food than dry food to get the same number of calories.

 

 

Best thoughts.

[cmc333]

Karen, I had to let my heart and sould girl, a westie, go on Dec. 21st. Exactly 16 years from the day I brought her home. She too had arthritis and dementia and the horrible sundowner's. We were on a cocktail of meds, cycling through xanax, melatonin, trazadone, tramadol. Some cocktails would work for a few days, then we'd have to mix it up. I don't know if I let her go too soon or too late or just right. But I could tell she was giving up on life. She ate some chicken and soft food and rice for a couple days, then just chicken, then nothing at all. I carried her outside to do her business as she couldn't go up and down the three stairs. She would just lay either in her bed at my feet or next to me on the couch. The last two days she didn't even bark when the other girls barked. She wanted to be with me, just me. I slept on the couch with her for her last two nights so we could be touching. Her sundowner's went away the last 2 or 3 nights of her life.

 

I had an appointment for her on Saturday the 22nd but Friday morning DH woke me and said we were going today instead. Maybe he was right; maybe I could have had her for another day. I don't know. I don't think anyone knows. She is going to be cremated and the remains returned to me. I have ordered a plaque for my outdoor garden to go with all the other dogs I've lost.

 

I am totally numb inside except for the sorrow. I'm taking care of my other 6 dogs but I don't really feel anything except numb and dead. I've lost a lot of dogs in my 60 years but Piper was my heart and soul. I have lost so many chunks of my heart in the last 40 years I don't feel like I have any heart left. I feel sorry for my DH.

 

I'm almost jealous that some people can be so sure of when it's time; I never ever am. I worry about doing it too soon, thinking they're worse off than they really are. I worry about doing it too late, thinking I'm only keeping them around for me. Except for my one little girl who bled out in the living room, I've never been sure I made the right decision. So if you can't be sure either, you're in good company.

 

I pray for strength for you and peace for you and Ruby.

[Busderpuddle]

Karen, I had to let my heart and sould girl, a westie, go on Dec. 21st. Exactly 16 years from the day I brought her home. She too had arthritis and dementia and the horrible sundowner's. We were on a cocktail of meds, cycling through xanax, melatonin, trazadone, tramadol. Some cocktails would work for a few days, then we'd have to mix it up. I don't know if I let her go too soon or too late or just right. But I could tell she was giving up on life. She ate some chicken and soft food and rice for a couple days, then just chicken, then nothing at all. I carried her outside to do her business as she couldn't go up and down the three stairs. She would just lay either in her bed at my feet or next to me on the couch. The last two days she didn't even bark when the other girls barked. She wanted to be with me, just me. I slept on the couch with her for her last two nights so we could be touching. Her sundowner's went away the last 2 or 3 nights of her life.

 

I had an appointment for her on Saturday the 22nd but Friday morning DH woke me and said we were going today instead. Maybe he was right; maybe I could have had her for another day. I don't know. I don't think anyone knows. She is going to be cremated and the remains returned to me. I have ordered a plaque for my outdoor garden to go with all the other dogs I've lost.

 

I am totally numb inside except for the sorrow. I'm taking care of my other 6 dogs but I don't really feel anything except numb and dead. I've lost a lot of dogs in my 60 years but Piper was my heart and soul. I have lost so many chunks of my heart in the last 40 years I don't feel like I have any heart left. I feel sorry for my DH.

 

I'm almost jealous that some people can be so sure of when it's time; I never ever am. I worry about doing it too soon, thinking they're worse off than they really are. I worry about doing it too late, thinking I'm only keeping them around for me. Except for my one little girl who bled out in the living room, I've never been sure I made the right decision. So if you can't be sure either, you're in good company.

 

I pray for strength for you and peace for you and Ruby.

I am so sorry you lost your girl. It is so hard to even think about. Piper sounds like she was pretty amazing, as is my Ruby. May I ask where you ordered the plaque ? I don't want to bury her, so she will be cremated. Maybe I will bury her ashes when we get to our retirement home, wherever that may be.

Hugs to you........

I'm sorry you're facing this.

 

 

I do want to mention, though, that it might be worth trying a different approach her primary issues -- arthritis pain and weight loss, per your original post. My vet no longer prescribes Ultram for pain relief as it has not been found effective, and we here no longer use gabapentin either, same reason. Regarding the weight loss, if her teeth are in poor condition, that can affect her interest in eating and her ability to eat, as well as causing pain throughout the day. In addition, you have to feed a lot more canned food than dry food to get the same number of calories.

 

 

Best thoughts.

Yes, she is getting extra canned food, and a lot of cheese treats when she will eat them. She is also getting turkey slices, some ham slices and her favorite, lots of sardines. I don't care what she eats right now, just that she eats. According to the charts and the vet, we are feeding her enough. I don't know why she is losing. She will no longer eat dry kibble.

Her teeth were cleaned 10 months ago and the vet says they look good to her. Her breath is awful, but I think her tummy is not too happy.........probably because I let her eat whatever she wants. Poops are completely normal though. We have an appt. on the 7th, and I will share the info about the Ultram, etc.. We have tried a lot of different combos, and I think the pain is under control, but not the Sundowners. Thank you

[Batmom]

Again, just FWIW, sometimes the seniors just burn up calories and you have to feed them a good bit more than you think to keep weight on them. Sounds like she is well loved and getting what she wants .

[LaFlaca]

I'm so sorry you and dear Ruby are going through this.

 

For me, the criteria has always been:

 

1) Is the animal suffering?

2) Is there any hope of recovery or improvement?

3) Am I being selfish?

 

Peace to you all.

[cmc333]

I am so sorry you lost your girl. It is so hard to even think about. Piper sounds like she was pretty amazing, as is my Ruby. May I ask where you ordered the plaque ? I don't want to bury her, so she will be cremated. Maybe I will bury her ashes when we get to our retirement home, wherever that may be.

Hugs to you........

 

This plaque I actually ordered from Amazon. For all my other dogs, I just googled "pet memoriams" or something like that. I've ordered from a bunch of different places, depending on which plaque or stepping stone I wanted. I always try to find the one that best describes my connection with that particular dog.

[Walliered]

If she is not feeling any better, I would move the appointment up to tomorrow morning. Watching a dog suffer is a terrible thing and speaking for myself, it was a very selfish thing.

[LaFlaca]

Karen, check out the Etsy shop Poemstones. I had a lovely stone made for Wendy. Her ashes are buried in the yard under a lovely little tree. Also on Etsy, see West Wind Home Garden. There is a beautiful cast concrete statue of a recumbent Greyhound (there's only 1 left!).

[Busderpuddle]

If she is not feeling any better, I would move the appointment up to tomorrow morning. Watching a dog suffer is a terrible thing and speaking for myself, it was a very selfish thing.

Last night she didn't cry or whimper once. Gabriel is here, and she loves that boy. He has been paying her a lot of extra attention, as we had the talk. Poor kiddo cried. Broke my heart.

I will see how things go after he leaves tomorrow, but if she is doing better, I will hold off of course.

 

Karen, check out the Etsy shop Poemstones. I had a lovely stone made for Wendy. Her ashes are buried in the yard under a lovely little tree. Also on Etsy, see West Wind Home Garden. There is a beautiful cast concrete statue of a recumbent Greyhound (there's only 1 left!).

Thank you. I will check them out

[PatricksMom]

I'm so sorry you're facing this, I'm also in the better a day to soon camp but I know it's hard. Some things that might make it easier for you. At home euthanasia if possible. I've had all mine cremated along with a favorite toy, not sure why but it made me feel better, this has never been an issue, just tell the vet. Expect to feel lousy for a while afterwards, it does not mean you made the wrong choice, and it will get easier even though it doesn't feel that way.

[cleptogrey]

i've been reading all of this as i watch felix waste away. he has lost over 16#s this year. mentally he is alert, eats like a horse(still loosing weight) wants to play with his partner in crime, even drags himself on longish walks. his pain is managed w/ tramadol, pecid ac and zofran help w/ the nausea, predisone is what's keeping him going. this dog is fighting a heroic battle of anaplasmosis, lyme, kidney disease, l.s. and chronic pancreatitis but his will is still there and his rear hasn't given up yet. when the rear goes we will know it's time. his quality of life will be gone.

 

i know what you are going thru, we have set our limits knowing that things will only decline. if they are happy then they are not ready to go. but that can change overnight. it's not easy as everyone writes, it's exceptionally sad to watch and live thru this. dementia is most difficult to deal with.

[Busderpuddle]

I CANCELLED THE APPOINTMENT !!! I just could not sleep last night, and I used the excuse of my husband not getting home until 5 AM this morning (truck driver-too much snow) to get me out of going to discuss this. UGH. Clearly I am not ready, and of course Ruby slept all night last night, first time in months.

I know it is just a matter of time.

[Remolacha]

If you are not ready, and Ruby is having a mini-rally, nothing wrong with waiting.

[cleptogrey]

If you are not ready, and Ruby is having a mini-rally, nothing wrong with waiting.

enjoy her rally, it's their way of getting ready to leave us with pleasant memories.

[Busderpuddle]

enjoy her rally, it's their way of getting ready to leave us with pleasant memories.

I want to do it before a crisis, as I am home alone 99% of the time. I will reschedule for next week to at least talk it thru.

She has been restless today, but is sleeping again now. Will see how tonight goes. We got rid of her crate, as she just made too much noise. 3rd night without it, and it does help us rest a bit more. She stays on her bed, and we move it back and forth into our room.

Poor old girl.

[grey_mom]

I guess asking the question meant I was thinking it is time. This sounds so crazy, but making the appt. just seems so final. The corner where she sleeps during the day will be so empty. She has been my buddy for 9 years while my husband works afternoons and nights. She is the best Greyhound ever. I know we all feel like we were the lucky ones to get the ones we have, but she has been such a good girl. Her only issue has been separation anxiety.

My grandson helped choose her years ago. He was 2. He is coming for 3 days on the 1st, so I want him to get to tell her goodbye. He is 11, and he has always loved her. Maybe she will rally a bit with him here. She adores him, and all the grand babies.

Thank you all for your comments. I just hate the thought of taking her too early and then feeling guilty. I know she is tired.

 

Karen, we just went through this in November, but for us it came out of the blue. Our boy Koa would have turned 12 in February, and he declined rapidly over a weekend. After 36 hours at the vet, $4K worth of tests and treatments, with no known reason and nothing working, Koa looked in my eyes and told me it was time. It was, without a doubt, the hardest decision I ever made in my life, but I also know, without a doubt, that it was the right and best decision for Koa. We brought him home, and we had a vet come to the house to help him transition peacefully. I cried pretty much non-stop for a week. We'd had him for 8.5 years. He slept in our bedroom - either on our bed with us or on his bed at the foot of our bed. He snuggled with us and loved on us like nobody's business. The house was so, so, so empty without him. We had Koa cremated, and we have his urn along with his collar, his pawprint, and his photo.

Now, nearly two months later, I'm more at peace, so much so that we're adopting another grey this weekend. I can't even believe it... Before he passed, I said it would be years, if ever, before we got another dog. Then when he passed, I swore I could never do it again. Then a week later, I realized our home is meant to have a dog and it would probably be a matter of months. And now she'll be home on Saturday. I firmly believe that he sent her to us and us to her - too many coincidences and chance happenings for it to be anything else.

 

If you are asking the question, you know it's time. It's so hard, I know, but it's the right, merciful, and loving thing to do.

 

BTW - talk about signs. My husband is from Oregon, and his name is Gabriel.

[Busderpuddle]

 

Karen, we just went through this in November, but for us it came out of the blue. Our boy Koa would have turned 12 in February, and he declined rapidly over a weekend. After 36 hours at the vet, $4K worth of tests and treatments, with no known reason and nothing working, Koa looked in my eyes and told me it was time. It was, without a doubt, the hardest decision I ever made in my life, but I also know, without a doubt, that it was the right and best decision for Koa. We brought him home, and we had a vet come to the house to help him transition peacefully. I cried pretty much non-stop for a week. We'd had him for 8.5 years. He slept in our bedroom - either on our bed with us or on his bed at the foot of our bed. He snuggled with us and loved on us like nobody's business. The house was so, so, so empty without him. We had Koa cremated, and we have his urn along with his collar, his pawprint, and his photo.

Now, nearly two months later, I'm more at peace, so much so that we're adopting another grey this weekend. I can't even believe it... Before he passed, I said it would be years, if ever, before we got another dog. Then when he passed, I swore I could never do it again. Then a week later, I realized our home is meant to have a dog and it would probably be a matter of months. And now she'll be home on Saturday. I firmly believe that he sent her to us and us to her - too many coincidences and chance happenings for it to be anything else.

 

If you are asking the question, you know it's time. It's so hard, I know, but it's the right, merciful, and loving thing to do.

 

BTW - talk about signs. My husband is from Oregon, and his name is Gabriel.

AWWWW, this makes me teary, as I believe in signs. Thank you

[LaFlaca]

Hi, Karen. Just checking in to see how Ruby is doing.

[charbess]

I think of it as my last gift to them. I willingly take the pain on myself so they don't have to bear it anymore. Taking the responsibility strengthens me a bit...gives a bit of loving control to the decision.

[Busderpuddle]

Hi, Karen. Just checking in to see how Ruby is doing.

thank you.....she is doing really well. I have no idea what the change is, maybe the senior remedy from Amazon is helping ? Maybe Gabriels visit helped ? I don't know, but she is sleeping all night, and we even got rid of her crate. Praying for another year at least with our girl.

[LaFlaca]

thank you.....she is doing really well. I have no idea what the change is, maybe the senior remedy from Amazon is helping ? Maybe Gabriels visit helped ? I don't know, but she is sleeping all night, and we even got rid of her crate. Praying for another year at least with our girl.

 

Thank God! A reprieve! I hope your girl continues to feel well. BTW - have you tried feeding her bone broth? When Wendy was getting towards the end of her life, bone broth was a blessing as it got her eating again. Gentle hugs and belly rubs.

[Busderpuddle]

I hadn't thought of bone broth. Did you make it or buy your own ? Curious because the bought ones have a lot of sodium. Thank you for the idea. I will give it a try.

[LaFlaca]

I hadn't thought of bone broth. Did you make it or buy your own ? Curious because the bought ones have a lot of sodium. Thank you for the idea. I will give it a try.

Home made in the crock pot. There are recipes online. I used whatever meaty bones I could find at the grocery store: chicken feet, turkey necks, beef neck bones, etc. and added 1/2 cup organic apple cider vinegar to each pot full. It helps leach out the nutrients in the bones. I also added a few cloves of garlic, smashed. I would cook it on low for 24 hours. Good for humans, too!

[Busderpuddle]

Home made in the crock pot. There are recipes online. I used whatever meaty bones I could find at the grocery store: chicken feet, turkey necks, beef neck bones, etc. and added 1/2 cup organic apple cider vinegar to each pot full. It helps leach out the nutrients in the bones. I also added a few cloves of garlic, smashed. I would cook it on low for 24 hours. Good for humans, too!

I buy it for me to drink when my tummy is wonky, but the sodium level is a bit high for daily use. I will have to make her some and add it to her food. I'm sure she would love that, Thank you

[cleptogrey]

just try taking an entire chicken, you can cut it into quarters or half, rice and water(don't measure, just add too much) in a big stock pot. low salt, easy peasy- turn the burner on, bring it to a boil, reduce heat and let it simmer. i have even trained Joe, (DH) to do this and prepare felix's chicken and rice. when the rice is done he debones the chicken, mixes it into the rice and all is ingested in quick easy give-me more meals!(felix not Joe). Then joe takes the bones, boils them and picks the meat off of them and he has broth for the rice. felix has been living on this for many months now....low salt, great flavor, easy and most of the world survives on chicken and rice. think about Congee....breakfast porridge served in China- it's soupy rice