Will My Grey Ever Like My Son?

[katiedid1281]

We adopted Rufus about 9 months ago. A few months back, I posted that Rufus had snapped at my 6.5 year old when he patted him, under my supervision, while Rufus was laying on the couch.

 

We've had no more snapping incidents but Rufus just seems to have no fondness for my son. He never walks up to him for affection, while he walks up to us with the wiggly loose body clearly wanting attention. He won't ever allow my son to pat him and just walks away if he tries. While I realize Rufus is making a good choice walking away when he doesn't want attention, it makes me sad that he doesn't like my son and especially now that my son is starting to notice. This morning, my son said to me, "When will Rufus like me? Why does he let you pat him and not me?"

 

When we first adopted Rufus, he seemed to like my son just fine, and even went up to him for affection. My son has never done anything that I can think of that would have triggered this. He doesn't pull on him. He never has hugged him or put his face in his face. He's just a 6.5 year old boy and occasionally loud and rambunctious.

 

Any recommendations for how to improve their relationship? Do I just leave it alone and hope it gets better as my son gets older? I do have my son give him treats and sometimes feed him dinner. While Rufus tolerates him under these circumstances, it doesn't seem to improve things when my son doesn't have food.

[Roo]

Definitely have your son give him treats, and do it regularly. Not just normal treats, either - meaty delicious treats! And have the best treats in the house come from your son. Of course, you should supervise, and it shouldn't happen when Rufus is laying down. Maybe stand next to your son, call Rufus over, and have your son feed him treats. Have your son help feed him dinner, walk him, etc. I know 6 is a little young to have him solely responsible for walking your hound, but if you can clip an extra leash onto Rufus's collar and have your son hold it, or have him hold the leash while you hold the handle - just so that he's participating in the fun walking activities. If your son helps with Rufus's care, your son will start to seem less like a strange small human and more like a person who provides him with tasty awesome things.

Edited May 23, 2017 by Roo

[GeorgeofNE]

Maybe, maybe not.

 

Some dogs don't care for children, just like some people don't.

 

My Buck is terrified of children. George didn't quite understand them. My mongrel dog was a saint and put up with whatever my nephews threw at him.

[JohnF]

My Peggy isn't fond of hyperactive children. It's their fast jerky movements and impetuousness that spells danger. Also the height they are sends direct eye-contact whereas we much taller adults don't do that constantly. I had a similar problem with an elderly relative in a wheelchair.

 

See if getting your son to send the Calming Signal : "Lick, Yawn, Sigh and Look Away" helps ease the tension.

[robinw]

One of my dogs responds better when the person doesn't make eye contact. Let Rufus decide when or if he wants to hang out with your son.

Edited May 23, 2017 by robinw

[smurfette]

Dogs create bonds through shared experiences. Let your son give him super treats as mentioned above. Your grey has to learn that where the kid is, there is fun, too. Include your son in the daily routine of feeding, walking, grooming - and with the kid come the treats... and only with the kid.

[Guest nicky604]

If II had a dog and children, I would teach my children how to read canine signals and the kinds of things that dogs don't like

(people bending over them, making direct eye contact (especially prolonged), reaching out suddenly towards them, HUGGING and so on).

I would make simple drawings and put the information into very simple language that a child could understand and relate to.

Dogs love all humans that speak good dog and people that understand them and respect them.

Often children don't notice when a dog is nervous or fearful.

If you can help your child to learn dog language (canine signalling) it will really help them be friends!

Check out the Youtube video, "Social Signals in Dogs", a lecture by Dr. Melissa Shyan-Norwalt.

Then take the information and put it into terms that a young child can understand (with pictures).

[gracegirl]

Tessie and Jackson love my four year old nephew, and he wants to be very involved with them and their care. When we walked Tessie on thanksgiving, I held the leash attached to the martingale and nephew held the leash attached to the tag collar. When we walked Jackson, I held the leash attached to the harness and nephew held the leash attached to his collar. Lots of gentle petting and throwing toy for them. And lots of good treats too. They think hes a really fun tiny human who brings lots of great stuff.

 

My SIL has a 20 lb mix whomis not good with kids. To get him use to children, hes learning that lots of good things happen when kids are near and the good things stop when kids go away. As kids approach, he gets flooded with the tastiest treat they can find. When kids back away, treats stop. They are trying to reframe his brain so that kids equal awesome stuff.

[racindog]

Maybe, maybe not.

 

Some dogs don't care for children, just like some people don't.

 

My Buck is terrified of children. George didn't quite understand them. My mongrel dog was a saint and put up with whatever my nephews threw at him.

Exactly. The important thing is NOT to try and force it. If you try too hard to bring it about you can make the situation far worse-possibly even dangerous. You really have no good choice other than to respect Rufus' feelings about this IMO.

[2greyhoundMINI]

Not to hijack this thread but I had no idea dogs don't like direct eye contact.

And I am especially surprised because when my husband and I do this with ours and talk to them they get super excited. The tails start going in circles and their ears are up, etc. All the "I'm so happy and excited right now!" signs.

 

I'm not saying the direct eye contact is wrong, I'm just saying I am surprised to learn this.

Edited November 28, 2017 by 2greyhoundMINI