Struggling To Bond...

[XTRAWLD]

Sounds like you got a smiler. He certainly seems to like you if he's showing you more expressions than anyone else. Try to enjoy him and give him a chance, clearly he's doing his best to speak your language.

[Fruitycake]

Teeth that close are intimidating, aren't they! Sounds very like a smile, but do be aware of the rest of his facial expression to be sure.

 

And also be aware that some dogs will also do 'bitey face' play moves toward their humans as well. We have a 35 pound nongrey that does this and if it happened to anyone but us I'm sure they'd soil their pants. Thankfully our grey has never done this toward our face - he does it in air snaps not aimed at us - because he has absolutely no concept of the length of his muzzle and might injure us!

[Guest Zoopy]

Its definitely not helping me bond. It's just not what I'm used to, my old dog was the softest thing ever and I never even had him growl at me. I think me & my daughter are finding this the hardest. I feel bad that its my fault for not knowing more about the breed before I took him home. I'm uneasy around him, wary and at the moment feel its just time and expense to care for a dog that I don't get anything back from.

Really struggling with this at the moment.

[BatterseaBrindl]

We have had many dogs over a 35 year period. Springer, 3 Dobes, GSD, PointerX.

I know the terrible heartache that comes with losing a beloved family member.

Now of course we have 3 Greys and they all adjusted at different rates....just like all of our other dogs. Time, time and more time....

 

I am not sure why you wanted a Greyhound.....

Why didn't you get the same breed of dog as your previous 'perfect' dog?

 

You have only had your Grey for a month. He needs time to adjust to his new life.

Please stop comparing him your old 'perfect' dog.

In most of your posts you have mentioned that he is nothing like your previous 'perfect' dog.

Of course not!

He is NOT your old dog.

And constantly comparing is just not fair to him. At all.

 

Sorry to be so harsh, but this fellow has been thrown into a whole new world and needs more than a month to adjust.

 

Now you say that you are uneasy and wary being around this poor fellow

Have you tried any of the suggestions....Walks...lots and lots of walks and some Training classes...made by other posters?

Does your local greyhound Group have play date sessions that you could join in?

Edited April 23, 2017 by BatterseaBrindl

[Guest Zoopy]

I understand your point I really do, and its not harsh its a fair comment. I do compare him to my old dog even though I know I shouldn't 😐 I haven't got an issue with the walking, the more the better but after 3 weeks in he was not putting weight on his back foot, vet suspected fracture in toe so he had to rest & go back if no improvement for further investigation, I inspected his feet in more detail and suspected corns, joined the FB group and people on there all confirmed so I'm doing the home remedies for that and he's walking fine now but I'm sticking to grass only which restricts where we can go as the majority of routes involve long pavement walks and I'm worried about pushing him back to being lame.

He goes to a socialisation class once a week for basic training.

There haven't been any greyhound get togethers locally as yet but I know they do run them.

I admit I'm wary of him, I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, there is clearly a lot to learn about body language that I knew nothing about but am trying to learn as much as possible from people that have the experience I don't.

Thanks for the input 😊

[EllenEveBaz]

I'm sorry you're having a hard time becoming friends with your greyhound. The corn restriction and waking you up early every morning (your other thread) aren't helping things at all. There's nothing wrong with training your dog to keep his face away from your face, if it makes you uncomfortable.

 

Since you said you liked to hear others' stories, I'll add one. I had two greyhounds, and one died. I wasn't planning to get another dog. But my surviving dog became miserable without a companion. My group doesn't foster often, but they'd gotten back an older dog who wasn't doing well in the kennel. So he came to my house. He was a perfectly nice dog, but I felt no connection to him. For months I tried diligently to find him a "real" new home. In the meantime, my surviving dog became very attached to him. I thought, what the heck, and adopted him.

 

He didn't do anything differently, and neither did I. I can't tell you how or when we connected, we just gradually did. The bond became as strong as with any of my other dogs.

Edited April 23, 2017 by EllenEveBaz

[Guest Zoopy]

I'm sorry you're having a hard time becoming friends with your greyhound. The corn restriction and waking you up early every morning (your other thread) aren't helping things at all. There's nothing wrong with training your dog to keep his face away from your face, if it makes you uncomfortable.

 

Since you said you liked to hear others' stories, I'll add one. I had two greyhounds, and one died. I wasn't planning to get another dog. But my surviving dog became miserable without a companion. My group doesn't foster often, but they'd gotten back an older dog who wasn't doing well in the kennel. So he came to my house. He was a perfectly nice dog, but I felt no connection to him. For months I tried diligently to find him a "real" new home. In the meantime, my surviving dog became very attached to him. I thought, what the heck, and adopted him.

 

He didn't do anything differently, and neither did I. I can't tell you how or when we connected, we just gradually did. The bond became as strong as with any of my other dogs.

Thank you, trust me I feel like a failure at the moment for even posting how I really feel! Your words give me encouragement, yes I am tired from waking early every day and that's probably not helping. We did some training in the garden earlier with the help of hot dogs! I'm really not wanting to give up on him despite how I'm sounding! Thank you 😊

[greysmom]

Greyhound smiling can look terrifying, but, really, it's a good thing!

https://goo.gl/images/lc6N4u

https://goo.gl/images/lc6N4u

 

https://youtu.be/JSjMWT4VySM

 

Greyhounds *are* dogs. Just like other dogs. But they do have breed characteristics that define how they interact with people that are different from other breeds. For thousands of years they have been bred to be independent hunters and independent racers. They have been bred to think for themselves and rely on themselves to be successful in whatever they do. They weren't bred to work cooperatively with people like many herding and hunting breeds. They do not have that overwhelming drive to please the people they are interacting with. With a greyhound, you have a roommate, not a partner. They are more like cats in this resepct, especially in the beginning. That's not to say they can't or won't get to the point where they are your heart dog - they can and do, and many of us have experienced this. But. it. takes. time.

 

So maybe you need to sit down and really reevaluate what you want out of a companion animal in your home and with your family.

[Guest Zoopy]

Thank you"greysmom" such good advice. Trust me, I'm thinking long and hard but not ready to give up yet! It was definitely smiling...so weird and scary but I accept it's a good thing. So many things to learn!

[Roo]

Smiles can be scary when you're not expecting them I volunteered at the county shelter for years and we'd occasionally get smiler dogs (rarely - much more common to have greyhound smilers!) and they always had to put huge signs on the kennels that said "I'm not snarling, I'm SMILING! I'm friendly!"

 

My first grey was a smiler. He was the best boy. He wasn't allowed in the kitchen while we were eating, so he'd wait until he heard post-dinner conversation sounds and would quietly walk up, peek around the wall, and smile big at us. We'd laugh (because it was adorable), he'd come into the kitchen and smile and wag enthusiastically. I got the impression that he was basically saying "I know you don't want me in there while you're eating, so I'm going to wait till you're done eating then appease you with my grin ". Once you get used to the smiles, you'll love the smiles. We get smilers in the kennel occasionally and it's always a big event.

 

I saw that you said you're wary - what exactly are you wary of? Or are you just wary and unsure why?

[Guest Zoopy]

Smiles can be scary when you're not expecting them I volunteered at the county shelter for years and we'd occasionally get smiler dogs (rarely - much more common to have greyhound smilers!) and they always had to put huge signs on the kennels that said "I'm not snarling, I'm SMILING! I'm friendly!"

 

My first grey was a smiler. He was the best boy. He wasn't allowed in the kitchen while we were eating, so he'd wait until he heard post-dinner conversation sounds and would quietly walk up, peek around the wall, and smile big at us. We'd laugh (because it was adorable), he'd come into the kitchen and smile and wag enthusiastically. I got the impression that he was basically saying "I know you don't want me in there while you're eating, so I'm going to wait till you're done eating then appease you with my grin ". Once you get used to the smiles, you'll love the smiles. We get smilers in the kennel occasionally and it's always a big event.

 

I saw that you said you're wary - what exactly are you wary of? Or are you just wary and unsure why?

There's no particular reason I'm wary, I just am. Maybe I've read too many threads on here about biting and sleep startle etc. I must admit he stares a lot and sometimes lunges at my face, that takes some getting used to.

Maybe its because we know nothing of his background or why his last family were planning on having him put to sleep as supposedly they were moving overseas, instead they returned him to his original trainer who contacted the rescue group.

Can't say its one thing, but I am wary.

[KickReturn]

You've got a smiler - your lucky. My current is just a grinner.

 

That last bit about the previous family planning on having him euthanized raises an alarm. My advice - be super respectful of this dog and follow all best safety practices. Never lean over him when he is down. I would limit physical contact to when he is on his feet.

 

As for any growling - adjust your thinking to the idea that growling is a very good thing. Never scold or correct growling. How great it is to have a relationship with an animal that is willing to "speak" his mind, to let you know what he is feeling. My first growled at me for almost a year and at various family members for almost two years. I used to reward it with a quick "good boy" and then back away.

 

And on the off chance that he should ever snap at you or anyone else, please understand that he is not trying to bite you. Again it's just an appropriate warning. A greyhound that actually wants to bite something rarely misses.

[turbotaina]

I wonder if perhaps the previous owners were uninformed about grinning (a/k/a "submissive grin"). Our group once had a huge greyhound named Santana. He was placed to a home with two young children and one day the adopter contacted the group president and said that if the president didn't come and retrieve the dog right NOW, the dog would be left tied to the president's porch. She alleged the dog was vicious. Of course, as it turned out, Santana was merely a grinner and in his new adoptive home, he would wake his owner up every morning by standing by the bed and grinning at him.

 

Zoopy - one of my boys will occasionally try to play bitey-face with me. He just gets really excited and wants to gnaw on me When you say your dog stares and lunges at your face, what's the body language like? Is the stare "hard" (body stiff, mouth shut tight - this is an aggressive stance) or is it soft (slightly open mouth, loose body, eyes soft - this is loving/playful)? He might just be trying to play with you like he'd play with a dog.

[palmettobug]

My Johnny has lunged-snapped at me in the past--he does not like to be messed with laying down, learned that the hard way! One time I was trying to measure him for a collar, he air snapped and growled, I immediately separated myself from him. He's very sensitive in his neck and throat, so I think that set him off that time.

 

So could it be that your doesn't like to be bothered when laying or sitting, or that he is sensitive somewhere?

[lothianjavert]

I remember seeing Santana on the website before we adopted Sully. I was interested in him but we weren't quite ready yet and he was adopted before then. Sully wasn't a smiler but he would chatter and air-bite. The air-bites could be pretty loud and impressive- and scary if you didn't know what they were and that they weren't aggressive. He would air-bite and chatter when he was very excited, or air-bite, chirp and stomp his feet when he wanted something.

 

Zoopy, it took a while for me to fall in love with Rook. We had just lost Sully and Sebau and I still missed them desperately. I think it was good that he looked nothing like them and of course, he behaves very differently because he is a completely different dog with his own unique personality. It also took him some time to trust us as he had been a bounce. DH and I bonded with him as we got to know him and he bonded with us as well. He's a great dog and we love him dearly. He's happy, funny and smart, but so incredibly food motivated that he has earned the nickname "the belly." He's also one that likes to try to play bitey-face sometimes He loves to play and sometimes forgets that his people don't necessarily want to play like a dog.

[turbotaina]

Sully was an awesome boy And yes, Santana eventually went to the perfect home where he had a long and happy life

Edited April 25, 2017 by turbotaina

[IndyMama77]

Zoopy, I can completely relate to how you are feeling. We adopted a bounce dog in February. We weren't given a lot of info on why he was returned, other than his owner worked very long hours. We adopted him shortly after putting our previous dog to sleep. We have never had a greyhound before, although I researched the breed extensively before deciding to bring one into the family. Our previous dog was very outgoing and demonstrative of affection with us and everyone, so it is much different now to have a dog that is so reserved. Upon bringing him home, I felt uneasy for weeks, he just didn't show a lot of personality and the pacing at night right in the beginning drove us crazy from lack of sleep. I felt like all we did was walk and walk (and walk) and feed him. We had 2 sleep startle incidents that were very unsettling as well, and at that time I really questioned my decision to adopt this dog. We decided to continue doing what we were doing and be patient, my husband reminded me that this transition is harder on him than on us. He didn't choose to come home with us, we chose to bring him here. Fast forward a couple of weeks, and every day gets better and better. We are starting to understand him a little more, and the bonding is slowly coming along. Just last night, we had several people stop by the house for various reasons, and he greeted everyone at the door with a wagging tail. He has a very playful zoomies episode about once per day when the kids get home from school, he is giving us more (soft) eye contact, and he is learning a few simple commands. I was at a meet and greet with other much more seasoned grey owners after we first adopted him, and they told me it seems to take around 5 months for them really to settle in...which seemed like an eternity! Hang in there, and keep looking for things to experience together.

[robinw]

I want to point out that much of what you read here on GT are problems were having with our dogs. they can be scary and intimidating.

 

I have a story for you. I adopted my second greyhound after I read about her needed a home. It was posted here on GT. I was sent a picture of an eight year old brood mama who was very sweet and calm. Arrangements were made for a tag team of people to bring her to Pennsylvania, where I could pick her up and take her home to Canada.

 

As people were driving her up, I kept getting emails that this can't be the same dog. My sweet cat safe dog tried to kill a cat and was a wild women. When I finally got her, she didn't look anything like the dog I thought I was getting. We finally figured out that they sent a picture of description of the wrong dog, or they sent me the wrong dog, not sure which.

 

Anyway, her name was Loca and I couldn't stand her. She was nothing like the dog I thought I was getting. She tried to kill my cat, she would steal things and carry them around, and she was generally crazy. I didn't want to even come home. Eventually I made arrangements for another GTer to meet me at the border and she would take her.

 

One night right before I was gong to return her, I looked at her sleeping and realized that at age eight years, she had never been in a home and had no idea how to live outside of a track or a greyhound farm. For the first time I felt love and empathy towards her. She ended up staying until she died at age 13.5 years.

 

I don't think she ever completely adjusted to home life, but we all did the best we could. She had so many other great qualities; I just had to learn to accept who she was and not expect her to be who I wanted her to be.

 

Maybe if it's possible to change the way you view her, you might see her differently.

 

Good luck.

Edited April 27, 2017 by robinw

[Guest Zoopy]

Zoopy, I can completely relate to how you are feeling. We adopted a bounce dog in February. We weren't given a lot of info on why he was returned, other than his owner worked very long hours. We adopted him shortly after putting our previous dog to sleep. We have never had a greyhound before, although I researched the breed extensively before deciding to bring one into the family. Our previous dog was very outgoing and demonstrative of affection with us and everyone, so it is much different now to have a dog that is so reserved. Upon bringing him home, I felt uneasy for weeks, he just didn't show a lot of personality and the pacing at night right in the beginning drove us crazy from lack of sleep. I felt like all we did was walk and walk (and walk) and feed him. We had 2 sleep startle incidents that were very unsettling as well, and at that time I really questioned my decision to adopt this dog. We decided to continue doing what we were doing and be patient, my husband reminded me that this transition is harder on him than on us. He didn't choose to come home with us, we chose to bring him here. Fast forward a couple of weeks, and every day gets better and better. We are starting to understand him a little more, and the bonding is slowly coming along. Just last night, we had several people stop by the house for various reasons, and he greeted everyone at the door with a wagging tail. He has a very playful zoomies episode about once per day when the kids get home from school, he is giving us more (soft) eye contact, and he is learning a few simple commands. I was at a meet and greet with other much more seasoned grey owners after we first adopted him, and they told me it seems to take around 5 months for them really to settle in...which seemed like an eternity! Hang in there, and keep looking for things to experience together.

[Guest Zoopy]

Thank you everyone for the responses, feeling better about everything now. Just got back from a few days away, just me, my partner and Zoopy (the dog!)He was very well behaved, we were in another new place and yet he settled really well, wild rabbits and geese surrounded us and he enjoyed watching them from our terrace. We did as much walking as we felt we could due to his corn issue, went to country pubs where he had treats from the staff and cuddles from other customers. Back home today and he's already back on the sofa and doesn't seem fazed by all the changes.

It's good hearing your stories where you didn't bond straight away. I'm hoping things will keep improving 😊

Edited April 28, 2017 by Zoopy

[XTRAWLD]

It really does get better. I'm glad you have been slightly reassured.

[JohnF]

Great news. Now watch for those Calming Signals as you learn to speak 'new dogeese' better...

 

http://www.greenacreskennel.com/dog-behavior-and-training/canine-calming-signals-and-stress.html

[Guest Zoopy]

Great news. Now watch for those Calming Signals as you learn to speak 'new dogeese' better...

 

http://www.greenacreskennel.com/dog-behavior-and-training/canine-calming-signals-and-stress.html

Really useful article, thank you 😊

[Guest Zoopy]

Update. We are now over 2 months in and things are a lot better. We understand each other now! I know what I can and can't do with him, he lets me brush his teeth & clip his nails but doesn't like his ears touched. He loves playing with balls and will now bring them to me & leave them. He loves to have his tummy tickled, and will roach just for that or at least lift a back leg. He's ok with other dogs so long as they are polite, sniff then walk on. The only thing I cant improve is his early wake up for no reason! We have got to 6am on the dot, the whine will start, I go downstairs half asleep and he stops, no whining to go out or for breakfast but I'm getting used to it!

Glad I stuck it out 😁

Edited May 29, 2017 by Zoopy

[turbotaina]