Osteo Thread Part 9

[EllenEveBaz]

 

just

[Guest Roux]

A quote for all of us today:

 

It came to me that every time I lose a dog, they take a piece of my heart, and every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough, all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are.

 

~ Cheryl Zucarro

[cmc333]

Jen, so sorry. Try to take peace in knowing Zuri is no longer in pain. You are, but he is running fast and free. You gave him the greatest gift of all.

[greytpups]

I'm so sorry for your losses. I really feel your pain since losing Brooke 2 months ago from cancer. And although people say it's the most loving thing you can do, it's painful and debilitating. Please know I am thinking of each and everyone of you and share your tears and sorrow.

[Batmom]

Hugs, Carol.

 

Godspeed, little girl.

[palmettobug]

Ladies (and gentlemen?), I know you hoped for a better outcome, but you all went above and beyond for your houndies. and to all.

[Floofy]

A quote for all of us today:

 

It came to me that every time I lose a dog, they take a piece of my heart, and every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough, all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are.

 

~ Cheryl Zucarro

This is such a beautiful sentiment. And very comforting in our time of loss.

[NeylasMom]

Just checking in. It feels so odd to me that no one in here has a dog fighting osteo at the moment, they're all gone.

 

I have frankly been feeling pretty numb. Aside from feelings of absolute dread when I take the girls somewhere and then think about coming home to an empty house I've been pretty emotionless. But this afternoon I went out without the girls for the first time and when I got home and went through the ritual of greeting Violet at the top of the stairs, then letting Skye out of her crate and then looking at Zuri's empty crate in the bedroom who I would always let out last, I completely lost it.

 

I don't know. Despite having so much time to prepare, and knowing he is gone, it just hasn't fully sunk in yet. His ashes were supposed to be returned today, but I asked her to bring them tomorrow so i could enjoy one more day of blissful denial because I think that's going to make it really sink in.

 

The girls are handling it pretty well. They're a bit more clingy and Violet often chooses to go lie on Zuri's bed right away when we come in, but I'm doing so much to keep us busy that they're pretty well exhausted. We hiked for 2 hours yesterday morning and then I took them with me to teach classes last night, which included running and playing in the facility and meet and greeting all of the puppy parents in my puppy class orientation. This morning we took a long walk around our local lake and tonight I'm taking them both to nosework classes.

 

I'm basically just trying to keep myself busy so I don't have to think about it. Otherwise, I sleep.

 

Hope everyone else is hanging in there. Unfortunately I know the worst is yet to come for me.

[llm51807]

They're all gone. I'm so sorry they are and so very sorry there will be others in here soon to replace them.

 

Jen, I have nothing to offer to make you feel much better given where you are. I'm two weeks ahead of you to the day and I'm still struggling. Lots of second guessing and that's one thing, but then there's just the heartbreak of missing my boy. Those eyes were always on me and our worlds revolved around each other in many ways. And now he's just gone. I guess I'll move through this and I guess you and Carol and Miriam will too. I've been pretty absent here because I have so little to offer by way of comfort. I just hurt.

 

I am not on the ground in heap; I get through my days and do just fine, but my I am overwhelmed many time in the day and just take a few minutes to get myself together. We have Cecil's ashes in his beautiful urn, but I also got a small but lovely stainless steel circle pendant threaded through a little velvet rope that holds a few of his ashes and a tiny tuft of his hair. I felt weird about this choice at first, but still compelled to buy it and pack his remnants into it. And now, I think, it has brought me more comfort than absolutely anything else (even though I still think it's a little weird - but, I have no issues with weird, thankfully).

 

It will be better for all of us soon enough. We have our Jet, our Skye and Violet, and our Greg to love on and care for. If I have one wish that could be granted it would be for Crouton, Cecil, Zuri, and Macy May to be the last of the osteo hounds in this thread. I'll do what I can to support those causes. xoxo to you Jen, Miriam, and Carol. And always remembering those beautiful hounds and loving humans who came before us.

[greysmom]

It gets better. It gets worse. Then it gets better. I still have days - five years after we lost our special boy - when my throat closes up when I see his picture, or I just cry coming across something that was his.

 

We've lost dogs before. We've lost dogs since. And still, there was something quite unique about Dude and his journey and the part we played in his life. I think that dealing with a terminal disease becomes so consuming, so overwhelming, that when it's over, it's more of a struggle to realize what "normal" really feels like again.

 

Please, please give yourselves the time and patience to grieve and to remember what's important. It's a process and it takes as long as it takes for you.

 

This thread has languished a bit before this sudden spurt of activity. I've often found it relegated to page 5 or page 8 because no one needed it. But it's a valuable place and a useful space for those of use who have dealt with and *are* dealing with this horrible curse to come and discuss, and rant, and question, and cry. It will be here as long as it's necessary for you and all of us that are left behind.

[Guest MnMDogs]

In some ways it feels like it was all a bad dream. For days and days, I was thinking it can't be osteo, one bad xray can't prove that it's osteo. But her quickly increasing pain knocked me out of that little fantasy.

 

It's weird here, I don't like the silence. Macy was our talker, our demander. She stamped her feet and howled when we arrived home, she wagged her tail furiously and pranced over to her toy basket to get a toy. Every. Single. Time. Now it's more sedate, and I'm quite happy Greg actually greeted me at the door today.

 

So day by day - the new normal

 

My cousin's grey (7 yo) was just diagnosed yesterday. She sent me the xrays, and even to me I can tell it's very bad, and I feel so bad for them

 

I really can't thank the folks in here enough for getting me through the month of August, I just wish we didn't all have to lose our precious hounds.

Edited September 8, 2016 by MnMDogs

[MP_the4pack]

Hugs to all. I've lost 7 and I still haven't found the trick to make the pain go away faster. Though I wish I had. Sometimes I still tear up thinking of the girl I lost in 1999.

 

But I am still crying from the loss of a year and half ago.

 

While it gets better, the pain never seems to completely go away.

[paulg]

We lost our sweet, sweet Lizzy this week. We will miss her, and her presence and spirit still fills the house.

 

[Guest LazyBlaze]

I'm sorry for your loss. Beautiful girl Lizzie.

[Guest Roux]

Lizzie – what a lovely girl. I know you are missing her terribly. So very sorry.

[4My2Greys]

I'm so sorry you lost your sweet Lizzie to this horrible disease.

[Guest MnMDogs]

Lizzie was a beauty, I'm so very sorry.

[llm51807]

What a lovely face Lizzie had. I'm so sorry she's gone. Losing a greyhound is such a difficult loss bear.

[Guest eccentricorbits]

I've been "lurking" on the forum in the two short weeks between learning our sweet greyhound, Miles, had a tumor (likely osteosarcoma) and when he passed away. Miles had been limping for some time, but three x-rays over the span of a year and a half showed no tumor, only bone degeneration. He raced 127 times, we found, so his body had lots of wear and tear from that although he was very healthy in his retirement with us otherwise. Finally about three weeks ago his limp turned into a real slowdown on walks and raising his paw. The x-ray then showed a tumor.

 

Over just one week, you didn't even need an x-ray to see the tumor: his front wrist showed a swollen lump. After the x-ray we considered the options and decided to try amputation and chemo since he was only 7 and nothing showed in lung x-rays or bloodwork to prevent a good recovery. We found clips of him racing on trackinfo.com while we were considering what to do and seeing what his early life was like we thought he deserved a chance at more good times without pain in his life, even if it meant a couple weeks of surgery recovery. His surgery went very well and his first day of recovery went very well. But then (we're told, we weren't there) in the early morning hours of the second night at the hospital, he suddenly stood up and then collapsed and stopped breathing.

 

It is heartbreaking that this happened to him in the hospital, and not peacefully at home, but I'm hoping it was instantaneous and that he didn't suffer. Miles was a gentle, sweet, smiling and singing dog who loved everyone.

 

The doctor believes it could have been a blood clot but can't be sure. We worried about surgery and knew it would be tough for a few days when he got home but I didn't expect to lose him this way. Has this happened to anyone else?

[llm51807]

I'm so sorry for your loss; 7 is so young. Cancer is so not fair and Miles sounds like he was an awesome boy. The suddenness of all it has to make it even harder with no goodbye. Not that the long, drawn-out feels much better, I can attest.

 

I don't have any experience with this, but I do know there is an increase clot risk with orthopedic surgery for humans, so I imagine the same with dogs.

 

I just wanted to say that you were doing your very best for Miles and that's all you could have done. He knew you loved him dearly and now he's pain-free.

 

So sorry.

[Annette]

eccentriborbits I am so sorry for your loss. While we have never lost a greyhound in a hospital without one of us being there, we did lose our first kitty son at an emergency vet hospital without us around. We know how you feel.

 

Not long after our greyhound, Pogo, was diagnosed with osteo, our friend's greyhound was also diagnosed with this dreadful disease. Wrigley underwent having her leg amputated and came home. She developed complications at home - lack of appetite, upset stomach, more than normal pain. It turned out that she had developed bleeding ulcers. She went back to the vet school where she died. They did a necropsy on her and did find that the cancer had spread to areas other than the lungs (where it usually spreads to). I think Wrigley survived 3 weeks post amputation.

 

You were doing what you thought was best for Miles. We all do what we think is best for our pets, but we never truly know if what we are doing is best. Only if they could talk.

 

Pogo made it 7 1/2 months post amputation. We wanted to have him put to sleep at home, but that was not in the cards. After more mets were found on his lungs, we tried a different chemo (we were on Palladia at the time of the increase in mets). He developed severe complications which included a fluid build up in his chest. He was scheduled for a check up at our local vet 1 week after finding out the increased lung mets at the vet school. Pogo was having trouble breathing and developed a cough. Xrays were done and even I could see several more small tumors in just a week's time and his chest was filled with fluid. Roy was out of town when this happened and we talked about waiting form him to come home the next day but the thought of him suffering even more by the time he got home was too much. It was just Miriam and I there when he passed. Roy felt terrible that he couldn't be there for Pogo.

 

Sending hugs.

 

Edited September 16, 2016 by Annette

[greysmom]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. It's always hard, but this way seems just heartbreaking. I'm no vet, but it does sound like he threw a clot. It's not something you can really do anything about, like with people. I hope the fact that you loved him and that he knew it deep in his soul will give you some consolation in the weeks to come.

 

[Batmom]

Godspeed, pretty Lizzie. Hugs to your people.

[spottydog]

Hugs to Lizzie and Miles' dog parents...

[Annette]

We lost our sweet, sweet Lizzy this week. We will miss her, and her presence and spirit still fills the house.

 

 

So sorry for your loss. Sending hugs. Lizzy will always be just a memory away.