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In Denial


Guest bernadette
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Guest bernadette

We have had Vinnie for almost ten years, adopted when he was three and he would be turning 13 this August. For years Vinnie has dealt with LS, tripping here or there, his back leg giving out now and again but always happy.

More recently, we have dealt with bouts of diarrhea, lots of rice, boiled meats and fecal tests. My boy is on numerous meds: gabapentin, tramadol, duralectin, meloxicam, glucosamine, melatonin, amantadine (forgive any misspellings), I'm not sure I got them all. His eyes aren't what they used to be, his loss of depth perception meant happily building a ramp so that he could get from one ro to another, many throw rugs and accepting he could no longer do his favorite things, go upstairs to lay down or jump onto the couch for a nice snooze.

Vinnie has had trouble laying down for some time. That damn restrict leg he has not been able to fold under him for some time. He circles, pants, circles, tries to lay down. His legs move apart and he tries over and over to lay down. By the time he makes it down, he's a hot panting mess.

Today my husband took Vinnie in today to see the vet and check on his leg. They took blood and scheduled an X-ray for tomorrow morning. By the time they left, my handsome boy wasn't able to put weight on that back leg. My husband carried him to the car. By the time they got home, Binnie was able to walk but his rear end is worse than ever- so shaky and weak and I continue to watch him struggle to lay down.

He's been a panting machine the last few days and I am afraid his pain iant something that we are able to continue to control while maintaining a good quality of life. Sure, we could drug him more, but he doesn't deserve to be a drugged up zombie.

Help? My husband has made up his mind.. tomorrow will be his final trip to the vet. People say "they will let you know" but I don't know what I'm looking for. He struggles, he is weak. He still eats, tonight he got whatever he wanted and then some. He eats, he drinks, he watches me. What else can I do for him at 13?

I am so sad. I have always believed that a day early is better than a minute late, but I don't want to do this TOO early. I need him to tell me that he's ready and that its time.

He is my heart dog.

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Guest bernadette

He has enjoyed his Ensure tonight, which has been such a treat for him. I took him outside and it was the worst I have seen him- but was it really THAT bad...? Stumbles, a few trips. He came in and again is a panting mess. While he went for a drink I saw his back end giving out so I went over and put one hand gently on either side of his back end- he sank right into me and ended up sitting right in my hands- he doesn't sit, ever. Again, tried and tried to lay down.

I can't stand the pain he's clearly in and I guess that's my answer.

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:bighug

 

I will say here what I said in another thread, over the years I have faced this decision numerous times. I have never had regrets that I let someone go too early, but I will always carry the guilt I feel for the few that I have let linger too long.

 

I am so sorry

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:bighug

 

I will say here what I said in another thread, over the years I have faced this decision numerous times. I have never had regrets that I let someone go too early, but I will always carry the guilt I feel for the few that I have let linger too long.

 

I am so sorry

These are my thoughts as well. Pgliaccio left at 14.1 when his tired body simply failed. He had a grand last day and I am grateful for his smile and the kiss he gave me as we waited the last 20 minutes for our vet to arrive. It would be devastating to have Vinnie get into a crisis situation and have that be your final memory of him. If it is time to let him go, with his dignity intact and your loving arms holding him, then you will know that you have done right by your good boy.

 

I am so sorry. :grouphug

Old Dogs are the Best Dogs. :heartThank you, campers. Current enrollees:  Punkin. Annie Oooh M. 

Angels: Pal :heart. Segugio. Sorella (TPGIT). LadyBug. Zeke-aroni. MiMi Sizzle Pants. Gracie. Seamie :heart:brokenheart. (Foster)Sweet. Andy. PaddyALVIN!Mayhem. Bosco. Bruno. Dottie B. Trevor Double-Heart. Bea. Cletus, KLTO. Aiden.

:paw Upon reflection, our lives are often referenced in parts defined by the all-too-short lives of our dogs.

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I'm really sorry. If you decide it's not time, please get that x-ray tomorrow as planned. Unfortunately Zuri was just diagnosed with bone cancer. He too has LS and for weeks he had been slowing down with me attributing it to his LS progressing. I started to think there was something more going on but there was no limp and thus nothing for me to go to my vet with. The moment the limp appeared I knew. What you're describing is a dog who is in a fair amount of pain at times. It makes me wonder about that leg. :(

gallery_12662_3351_862.jpg

Jen, CPDT-KA with Zuri, lab in a greyhound suit, Violet, formerly known as Faith, Skye, the permanent puppy, Cisco, resident cat, and my baby girl Neyla, forever in my heart

"The great thing about science is that you're free to disagree with it, but you'll be wrong."

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Guest bernadette

Agreed.

I'm so sorry to hear about Zuri. Before his back end gave out today I became VERY concerned about the osteo possibility in that leg. At this point, the X-ray would only be for me. If positive, would not amputate and pain management doesn't seem to be working as well as it once did.

I am laying with him, it will be near impossible for me to sleep. His panting has not let up which has me considering an 24 hour emergency vet visit.

Thank you, everyone. This is so heartbreaking and the support really does help.

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I'm so sorry. :( Can you increase his pain meds safely? There's a pretty large safety range on Gabapentin and Tramadol. Might allow you to keep him comfortable until morning when you can take him to your regular vet. :grouphug

 

I'm not a vet, but I'm pretty well informed on med ranges at the moment if you want to post his weight and doses.

gallery_12662_3351_862.jpg

Jen, CPDT-KA with Zuri, lab in a greyhound suit, Violet, formerly known as Faith, Skye, the permanent puppy, Cisco, resident cat, and my baby girl Neyla, forever in my heart

"The great thing about science is that you're free to disagree with it, but you'll be wrong."

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Guest bernadette

We did give him additional Tramadol a little while ago. He finally fell asleep next me. I just love this dog.

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Thank you for sharing ... I'm so sorry for the hard decision you're making, but I'm certain that Vinnie has found a way to tell you that he's ready when you are.

 

Please share some pictures of your lovely boy, and know that our hearts are with you.

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I was waiting for Kasey to tell me it was time. He never did. His body gave out before his mind and I had to make the decision for him. It's not easy. I'm sorry. Wish we all had more time with our hounds.

Proudly owned by:
10 year old "Ryder" CR Redman Gotcha May 2010
12.5 year old Angel "Kasey" Goodbye Kasey Gotcha July 2005-Aug 1, 2015

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When I'm having a tough time deciding, I always think what *I* would want someone else to do for me, if I was in the same physical condition. Re-read what you wrote - constant pain, confusion, inability to do favorite things, inability to do *normal* things with dignity, a leg that is incapacitated, diarrhea, stomach upset, taking a lot of meds.

 

It's hard - so, so hard - but if you can't control his pain and improve his quality of life, in my opinion, he's only alive, not really living.

 

I'm so sorry if that sounds harsh, because I've been there and I don't mean it to be. I know how hard it is to think objectively when you're emotionally invested in the outcome.

Chris - Mom to: Lilly, Felicity (DeLand), and Andi (Braska Pandora)

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Angels: Libby (Everlast), Dorie (Dog Gone Holly), Dude (TNJ VooDoo), Copper (Kid's Copper), Cash (GSI Payncash), Toni (LPH Cry Baby), Whiskey (KT's Phys Ed), Atom

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Hugs. I don't think dogs necessarily 'tell you they are ready', and I have even heard it said that if you wait until they do you have left it too long, because they can be so stoical about long-term pain.

 

What my old chap's eyes were telling me on his last day, as we waited for the vet to come to us at home, was 'I love you and trust you to do what is best.' And what the vet said to me is 'You made the right decision. Now is the right time. There is no need to wait until he is unhappy.'

 

It is a painful decision to have to make, and I found I had to go down deep and access my best self to reach it, if that makes sense?

 

If you need help, and you trust your vet (as I do mine), ask what they would do if Vinnie was their dog? You should get an honest as well as an informed answer.

Clare with Tiger (Snapper Gar, b. 18/05/2015), and remembering Ken (Boomtown Ken, 01/05/2011-21/02/2020) and Doc (Barefoot Doctor, 20/08/2001-15/04/2015).

"It is also to be noted of every species, that the handsomest of each move best ... and beasts of the most elegant form, always excel in speed; of this, the horse and greyhound are beautiful examples."----Wiliam Hogarth, The Analysis of Beauty, 1753.

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Guest bernadette

Thank you. I appreciate everything that was said, and deep down I know. We had a rough night and will be heading to the vet first thing. Thank you for helping me get through.

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Thinking of you this morning. :grouphug

gallery_12662_3351_862.jpg

Jen, CPDT-KA with Zuri, lab in a greyhound suit, Violet, formerly known as Faith, Skye, the permanent puppy, Cisco, resident cat, and my baby girl Neyla, forever in my heart

"The great thing about science is that you're free to disagree with it, but you'll be wrong."

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My thoughts are with you today. :grouphug

Jan with precious pups Emmy (Stormin J Flag) and Simon (Nitro Si). Missing my angels: Bailey Buffetbobleclair 11/11/98-17/12/09; Ben Task Rapid Wave 5/5/02-2/11/15; Brooke Glo's Destroyer 7/09/06-21/06/16 and Katie Crazykatiebug 12/11/06 -21/08/21. My blog about grief The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not get over the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same, nor would you want to. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

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