Potentially Adopting - Toddler Issues?

[Jessa]

Hi everyone

 

After many months of mooning after the idea of having a dog, I finally feel ready and the fiance is open to the idea.

But. We have a 1.5 year old son.

 

I decided on a greyhound after a ton of research, and falling in love with their general personalities.

Couch potato! Goofy antics! Smiling and rooing! Lazy but loving!

I've been lurking on here for a few weeks, and even have an application sent in to an adoption agency. My slight worry is though, I've come across quite a few posts on here about various aggressions. Food, bed space, etc. I plan on keeping the dog and my son separated and supervised, of course, but I'm just looking for some success stories I suppose, or even pointers for what to look for in that first home visit to make sure we choose the right pooch and set ourselves up for success.

 

Also, my son takes zero interest in dogs. At most he'll look at them in interest for a few seconds, point and babble a little, but never any touching, pouncing, or hitting. Usually he straight ignores animals, even when they are trying to lick his face. He's a weird one.

[buddibear]

I would wait a year

[sarabz]

We have a 2 year old and have been diligent about making sure he doesn't bother her on her bed, pats gently, etc. No issues.

[greysmom]

Many adoption groups will not adopt to people with young children. It's a choice they make, mostly about liability issues, but there is some common sense behind it. Others will hapily and successfully adopt to families. It just depends on your situation and who you work with for your adoption.

 

Here are some good books to get you started

Family Friendly Dog Training - Patricia McConnell

http://smile.amazon.com/Family-Friendly-Dog-Training-Program/dp/1891767119/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1454378508&sr=8-1&keywords=patricia+mcconnell

 

Childproofing your dog - Brian Kilcommons

http://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/0446670162?keywords=childproof%20your%20dog&qid=1454378437&ref_=sr_1_1&sr=8-1

[Busderpuddle]

When we adopted we had custody of our 1 year old grandson. We had a couple of greys picked out that we were interested in, but the ladies that ran the group told us there was one dog that had been raised with 4 small kids, so we adopted Ruby. She was the sweetest, most patient dog ever, and my grandson used to lay on her bed with her to nap each day. We never had any issues. Fast forward 6 years, Ruby is getting grumpy in her old age and does not tolerate our newest grandchild as well. We have been trying to teach her to leave Ruby alone, and to pet her only when awake and standing. It is a process.

Let the adoption agency help you choose, as they know the temperaments. Good Luck !!!

[Houndtime]

Both of my grandchildren were brought up with greyhounds. One was an infant and the other a toddler. The adopted greys were very tolerant dogs and the children were taught to give the dogs their personal space and general dog instructions; don't bother when eating, sleeping, etc. Your group should help you with a dog that may have been fostered with children, or is a more mellow dog. Always, supervise, not matter how well behaved both child and dog seem to you.

[Jessa]

Thanks everyone! It's nice to hear that it is possible. Supervision/prevention will always be had, as I'm that paranoid parent when it comes to things like potential bites or scratches.

Part of the reason I want to adopt is so my son grows up with being socialized with a larger sized dog. It's what I had growing up, and knowing basic dog language has proven useful to me many times. I want my son to know how to control and diffuse the situation when a dog is involved, and not be scared. (This is a very low priority on my list for reasons to adopt, but a reason none the less.)

 

From their website, it sounds like the agency is open to adopting out to families, as they require that the children be present for any meetings. I still have yet to hear back from them, and made it clear that the dog's agreeableness to my son was top priority. After reading the many posts about aggressive issues on here I got nervous that that was the rule and not the exception. If the agency comes back with a rejection for lack of tolerant hounds or because our home environment isn't right for one right now, I will happily accept that and wait to adopt!

[Hubcitypam]

Not at all opposed to greyhounds with small humans. I loved all my greys and the ones I had when my great nephew was a toddler were fine with him but IMO in all there may be other large breeds and mixed breeds that would roll with the punches better.

[Guest Scouts_mom]

I would ask you if your first reaction be to return the dog if it nips your kid?

 

If your answer is yes, please wait a few years to get a greyhound.

 

I have seen too many wonderful, but very confused dogs returned because the parents "will not have a dog that bites around their little darling." Never mind that the dog was probably pushed to it's limits by the kid whom the parents didn't keep separated from the dog as they promised they would--kids are quick and can escape and run at the dog in an instant. The dog may just be following it's instincts and attempting to discipline the "puppy", but the dog is blamed and loses its home. This is why my group stopped adopting to families with kids under 5 years old. As someone as said, there are better breeds for families with young kids.

 

In the interest of full disclosure--as a small kid I was nipped several times by our family dog and I deserved it every single time. I am very glad my parents realized it was not the dog's fault and often gave me a spanking as well.

Edited February 2, 2016 by Scouts_mom

[BootsyCollins]

Scouts mom makes a good point. Your tolerance level is as important as the dog's. We adopted our current grey when our son was 2 months old. We added a second son 4 years later. Bootsy has growled and snapped at both of them, but I still say we have had no issues. He would never, ever choose to hurt them, they know what is right and wrong, and we all live together peacefully. He's a part of our family.

[sarabz]

Not at all opposed to greyhounds with small humans. I loved all my greys and the ones I had when my great nephew was a toddler were fine with him but IMO in all there may be other large breeds and mixed breeds that would roll with the punches better.

Pam, to this I will say that my son can indeed do different things with my dad's Goldens than with Bella (they are fine with him being all over them when lying down, Bella won't tolerate it, as one example). I'm actually not convinced that this is better, as Bella is treating him to teach dogs more respectfully. He goes out of his way to not step on her or bother her while she's laying down and knows that her bed is off limits, for example.

 

She's growled at him a couple of times when he's pushed these rules, whereas the Goldens are constantly making noise, and one even growled at him while they were playing (none of us are quite sure what triggered that). I feel like he's learning more clearly about dog language from Bella. But that's just my experience.

Edited February 2, 2016 by sarabz

[Guest Wasserbuffel]

Pam, to this I will say that my son can indeed do different things with my dad's Goldens than with Bella (they are fine with him being all over them when lying down, Bella won't tolerate it, as one example). I'm actually not convinced that this is better, as Bella is treating him to teach dogs more respectfully. He goes out of his way to not step on her or bother her while she's laying down and knows that her bed is off limits, for example.

 

She's growled at him a couple of times when he's pushed these rules, whereas the Goldens are constantly making noise, and one even growled at him while they were playing (none of us are quite sure what triggered that). I feel like he's learning more clearly about dog language from Bella. But that's just my experience.

 

This!

 

My nieces and nephews learned well and early to respect Jayne's boundaries. One niece has been thrilled as she gets older that she can interact with Jayne through getting her to do tricks in exchange for treats, and Jayne likes her better and comes to her for petting.

 

I coordinate local adoptions for my group. We have had a lot of success adopting to families with little kids. When we have a return from a family with small kids it's always that the kid ended up messing with the dog when it was laying down, and the dog snapped at them. Never had an actual bite, thankfully. We're always sure to go over dog body language, and the rules about kids/dogs. Most of it, I think, depends on the parent's attitude around the incident as a poster above mentioned. Doing a home visit once the dog accidentally knocked their 3yo down with his butt out in the yard. They just got the kid back on his feet, and adopted the dog. Meanwhile we got a dog returned after a year in the home because he kept knocking their kid down, also accidentally since the dog was a big doofus. I had a dog who had been fostered for months with little kids get returned from an adoptive family for snapping at their toddler twice. The first time she fell on him while he was resting, the second time she patted him on his head while he was resting. After being fallen on, he was wary of that kid. He now lives in a new home with a 3yo, and again has no issues.

[sarabz]

 

This!

 

My nieces and nephews learned well and early to respect Jayne's boundaries. One niece has been thrilled as she gets older that she can interact with Jayne through getting her to do tricks in exchange for treats, and Jayne likes her better and comes to her for petting.

 

I coordinate local adoptions for my group. We have had a lot of success adopting to families with little kids. When we have a return from a family with small kids it's always that the kid ended up messing with the dog when it was laying down, and the dog snapped at them. Never had an actual bite, thankfully. We're always sure to go over dog body language, and the rules about kids/dogs. Most of it, I think, depends on the parent's attitude around the incident as a poster above mentioned. Doing a home visit once the dog accidentally knocked their 3yo down with his butt out in the yard. They just got the kid back on his feet, and adopted the dog. Meanwhile we got a dog returned after a year in the home because he kept knocking their kid down, also accidentally since the dog was a big doofus. I had a dog who had been fostered for months with little kids get returned from an adoptive family for snapping at their toddler twice. The first time she fell on him while he was resting, the second time she patted him on his head while he was resting. After being fallen on, he was wary of that kid. He now lives in a new home with a 3yo, and again has no issues.

 

This. ^^

 

We work with Bella on "wait" but she's twice Colin's weight and sometimes knocks him over, especially when everyone's in the mudroom together trying to get out the door. It happens. I knock him over sometimes when he's underfoot. He gets picked up, hugged if needed and we move forward. We do NOT make a big deal of it or punish Bella. We do NOT punish her the couple of times she's growled at him - in part thanks to GT, we know that's her warning sign and to not take that away from her. Instead, we teach HIM that HE upset HER and she is absolutely right to say "hey, that's not ok". Once she sleep startled when he got too close to her bed and scared him. That's ok, too. I'd rather him be a little cautious about approaching her and translate that to other dogs than feel that it's ok to run up to every dog and hug them.

[Jessa]

I want to thank everyone for being so helpful!

 

If we do end up adopting, if the dog were to ever growl or nip towards my son, I would definitely roll with it and try to correct whatever pushed the dog too much. As many others pointed out, it seems that the child is almost always at fault for being too pushy or rude/unconscious of the dog. Also agree with teaching my son to be careful and respectful of dogs and their reactions! I don't worrying about him being knocked over, if the dog is happily interacting with him no big deal. He'll quickly learn to watch out for wiggling, excited butts and tails if that's the case.

 

If the dog were to actively seek my son out and then snap at him with no obvious provocation, then yes that would be an issue. I have yet to read about anything like that though from my browsing.

 

I already plan on having the dog's crate in our bedroom, which is a place that my son never goes. Even when I do let him run around in more than just the living room, I close all of the bedroom doors so I can keep an eye on him better. Would it be a good idea to give treats to the dog whenever my son interacts with them? So they associate toddler pets with something good? Would that result in a grumpy dog when there was no treat to be had but still toddler petting?

 

I really don't think this will be an issue at all, but I want to be prepared if there IS any resource guarding/aggression to deal with, instead of giving the dog mixed signals for a few days while I ask for advice. I really think they will end up ignoring each other, which is fine too!

[Jessa]

I would ask you if your first reaction be to return the dog if it nips your kid?

 

If your answer is yes, please wait a few years to get a greyhound.

 

I have seen too many wonderful, but very confused dogs returned because the parents "will not have a dog that bites around their little darling." Never mind that the dog was probably pushed to it's limits by the kid whom the parents didn't keep separated from the dog as they promised they would--kids are quick and can escape and run at the dog in an instant. The dog may just be following it's instincts and attempting to discipline the "puppy", but the dog is blamed and loses its home. This is why my group stopped adopting to families with kids under 5 years old. As someone as said, there are better breeds for families with young kids.

 

In the interest of full disclosure--as a small kid I was nipped several times by our family dog and I deserved it every single time. I am very glad my parents realized it was not the dog's fault and often gave me a spanking as well.

 

I agree with this! If my son were to ever be nipped for being rude to the dog, his fault. Also teaches him a good lesson that not all dogs are cuddle bears and that some are touchy.

 

I do understand that there would be better breeds for children, however, I am not getting the dog as a playmate or lesson for my son. I'm a firm believer in learning to cooperate with animals, and working around their needs and not trying to jam a dog into a mold it doesn't fit in. If the dog plays and is okay with cuddling with my son, great! If the dog wants nothing to do with him and they coexist by ignoring each other, great too! My son will learn to adapt to the behavior of the dog, not the other way around.

[Walliered]

A growl or nip is one thing, but there could be the danger of a bite. I know someone that took their very old lab to the pound because it bit their 1 year old kid's face and neck. Never mind the kid had crawled over the dog's food bowl. Kid had to have a plastic surgeon and the dog was killed. I would wait for at least a couple of years.

[NeedlenoseJake]

 

 

I already plan on having the dog's crate in our bedroom, which is a place that my son never goes. Even when I do let him run around in more than just the living room, I close all of the bedroom doors so I can keep an eye on him better. Would it be a good idea to give treats to the dog whenever my son interacts with them? So they associate toddler pets with something good? Would that result in a grumpy dog when there was no treat to be had but still toddler petting?

 

 

I'm not sure if this is what you mean, but if you crate the dog in your room while you and the kid are home wandering around, the dog may be very unhappy. They want to be with their people usually.

[Jessa]

I'm not sure if this is what you mean, but if you crate the dog in your room while you and the kid are home wandering around, the dog may be very unhappy. They want to be with their people usually.

Oh no! Not what I meant, I would never do that to a dog. Definitely leave the door open so they can retreat if it wants, as well as very temporary containment (couple of minutes) if there was a situation that I wouldn't be able to intervene in time if something did get out of hand.

[Jessa]

A growl or nip is one thing, but there could be the danger of a bite. I know someone that took their very old lab to the pound because it bit their 1 year old kid's face and neck. Never mind the kid had crawled over the dog's food bowl. Kid had to have a plastic surgeon and the dog was killed. I would wait for at least a couple of years.

I have to believe that lab had warning signs before that happened.. again, if the agency doesn't feel its a right fit or if there aren't any hounds that seem 100% comfortable, I'm not going to push it! I can certainly wait to adopt. This post was more of looking to see if there were success stories and any tips, as people usually only reach out when there is an issue and not just to say 'hey my kids and dog get along great'.

 

If we got a dog that I was worried was going to actually bite with intent, I would immediately reach out to the adoption agency for the best resolution for both our happiness and the dog's.

[GeorgeofNE]

Please be realistic about your available time/energy. Dealing with a toddler is hard enough. As your child grows and you are more and more busy taking him here, there, and everywhere, what is your plan for the dog? Too often people have this fantasy in their head about their child and a dog. And the reality is this: you will be 100% responsible for the dog. And you're already responsible for a little boy. When will you have time to exercise a dog? Don't let the "couch potato" name fool you into thinking a greyhound doesn't need regular exercise. Most greyhounds do not do things like fetch, and many of them do not even play with toys. I would guess most children find them rather boring, compared to a dog they can go throw a frisbee to. So....just think it over, and make sure the fiance is on board too.

[BootsyCollins]

We walk our grey 2x daily, even though we have a fenced yard, and we have 2 small children and work full time. It is possible.

 

The hardest thing for me is just giving Bootsy the attention he deserves. He is very keen on hands on affection and is frequently brushed aside because we are just so busy. He would like someone to pet him 24 hours per day. He gets less than an hour.

[Jessa]

Please be realistic about your available time/energy. Dealing with a toddler is hard enough. As your child grows and you are more and more busy taking him here, there, and everywhere, what is your plan for the dog? Too often people have this fantasy in their head about their child and a dog. And the reality is this: you will be 100% responsible for the dog. And you're already responsible for a little boy. When will you have time to exercise a dog? Don't let the "couch potato" name fool you into thinking a greyhound doesn't need regular exercise. Most greyhounds do not do things like fetch, and many of them do not even play with toys. I would guess most children find them rather boring, compared to a dog they can go throw a frisbee to. So....just think it over, and make sure the fiance is on board too.

Absolutely! The dog will be coming with us whenever possible, as it is there are few places that I go where it couldn't go too (Shopping trips are accomplished once a week on the way home from work)

I work three days a week and only partial days at that, home before noon without fail. A lot of this is what even swayed me to consider a greyhound. I know they're social creatures and need their walks and exercise time. There's always someone in my house too!

 

As far as a fantasy of a child and their dog- this dog is for me, I actually hope that my son and it ignore each other

My fiance is open to it as well, and even picked the dog that we are currently 'interested' in. It all comes down to that home visit though! I'm also going to try and set up a visit in whatever dog we choose's foster home as well, to see their behavior in a place they are comfortable in and not just my unfamiliar home.

 

[sarabz]

We walk our grey 2x daily, even though we have a fenced yard, and we have 2 small children and work full time. It is possible.

 

The hardest thing for me is just giving Bootsy the attention he deserves. He is very keen on hands on affection and is frequently brushed aside because we are just so busy. He would like someone to pet him 24 hours per day. He gets less than an hour.

 

Yep - same here. Bella gets 2-3 walks a day, plus turn outs for business in our fenced yard.

[Guest Scouts_mom]

One family I know did make it work by setting up a playroom for the kid (no dogs allowed) and a sleeping room for the dog (no kids allowed). The playroom was actually the dining room with baby gates on the entrances--it adjoined the kitchen and family room so Mom or Dad were always close by, The sleeping room was their study which adjoined the family room and allowed the dog to keep an eye on the family.

Edited February 2, 2016 by Scouts_mom

[Jessa]

One family I know did make it work by setting up a playroom for the kid (no dogs allowed) and a sleeping room for the dog (no kids allowed). The playroom was actually the dining room with baby gates on the entrances--it adjoined the kitchen and family room so Mom or Dad were always close by, The sleeping room was their study which adjoined the family room and allowed the dog to keep an eye on the family.

That's great! The way our house is set up I definitely plan on creating a space for the dog in either our room or the guest room where they can be by themself if they please, but with only 1000 sq ft I can't really make a playroom also. The basement might be relegated to rough housing/playing in the future!

 

How do greys do with babygates? Do they accept the barrier or jump over? Our friends have a weimaraner that leaps over their 4 ft gate as she pleases