Suggestions For Teaching High Anxiety Dogs They Can't Sleep In Our

[PatricksMom]

My insomnia (14 year battle) has re-emerged with a vengence, and so DH and both dogs have temporarily relocated to the guest room. We hope to get it under control enough in the next few months to a year that DH can move back in, but I'm not sure the boys will be able to.

 

Leo is super high anxiety, and he's the biggest culprit in terms of noise at night. Any suggestions for helping him sleep downstairs or in DH's office at the end the opposite end of the hallway? Obviously Henry would have to be with him. He was upset enough at having to sleep just with DH that he kept barging my bedroom door for a week before he gave in--made me want to cry.

[krissy]

Ewww... insomnia sucks. I feel for you.

 

I'm curious why so much noise from the dogs at night? What is it specifically that they do? For example, at our house Kili can be a pest because she attempts to climb into bed in the middle of the night sometimes, and when we send her back to her dog bed she doesn't always want to go and will pace and try again a few minutes later. When we had a bedroom big enough for a crate she was always crated at night so it was never an issue and if I wanted to stop the disruptions I would just crate her. Summit really never disturbs us. The only things would be if he got up and shook in the middle of the night - but that could be curbed by taking collars off at bedtime. And sometimes he'll woof in his sleep a bit, but for us it doesn't happen often enough to be an issue.

 

You say that Leo is high anxiety. Is his anxiety the reason for the disruptions? If so I think you might end up being better served to have DH work on his anxiety during the next few months while you are sleeping separately. Just having the dogs sleep elsewhere is probably going to backfire if he's anxious.

 

Knowing what the disruptions are and why you think they happen might help with suggestions.

[Batmom]

As krissy says, some details might help with suggestions.

 

FWIW, my newest just graduated from a noisy metal crate (where she felt secure) to a bed in a soft-sided ex-pen. No more lying awake (or waking up in the middle of the night) puzzling over weird crate noises!

[GeorgeofNE]

Have you considered sleeping with ear plugs? It might be easier to stop the noise from your end!

 

Of course my dog doesn't move once it's bed time--so I'm having a hard time imagining what the dog is doing that is contributing to your inability to sleep.

[PatricksMom]

You asked for details, hope these aren't too much

 

The noise isn't that bad. it's just that my insomnia is very complicated and I had to stop taking the only medication that has ever worked due to dangerous side effects. And please, no sleep suggestions or medication suggestions for me, trust me, I've tried them all, the new sleep specialist is quite sure this is an undiagnosed medical or sleep architecture problem. Hopefully with an actual diagnosis of the problem we'll get this under control. But my doctor is cautiously optimistic that maybe in a year we'll get me to the point of a decent night's sleep 6 out of 7 nights so this isn't going to be a quick fix.

 

It's that the occasional yipping in his sleep when he has a dream or getting up to change beds is enough to wake me up right now and then I can't get back to sleep for hours, even with a white noise machine and temporary sleeping meds that are not a long-term option. He also gets up in the morning before me and paces or whines for breakfast, which when I have been up for 4-5 hours in the middle of the night and he wakes me up makes me an insane person. DH has been exiled with the dogs to the guest room (he's being really great about that) for things like coming to bed quietly in the complete dark, rolling over and accidently touching me, etc. I'm having that much trouble.

 

Leo is least anxious at night, so I don't think his behaviors at night are unusual or a sign of his anxiety. He doesn't have SA as long as Henry is home and he can choose to be with Henry (Leo has run of the house, Henry has to be crated because he gets into so much stuff). But he doesn't do well if one of us is at home and he can't be around us (say if we're remodeling and can't let him in the room).

 

For those who haven't been following our journey, Leo has made huge progress on his anxiety since we adopted him 2 years ago, and with DH switching from working at home to commuting, the dogs will have to be at home alone probably 3 days a week with Henry, although I can stop by mid-day easily enough. So medication may be coming anyway, but it's not going to fix the nighttime problem because it's really my problem, not his.

 

We've tried meds unsucessfully before for Leo and have had far more sucess with changing our behavior and his environment. If he needs meds because of the change in DH's work routine, then he needs them and that's what we'll do. But I hate to have to drug him because of my medical problems, not his. I would consult a behavioralist in a second, but I've been told by multiple vets there isn't even a local dog trainer that they'd send a grey to, and there aren't any behavioralists around here. I have gotten far better advice on GT And maybe I'm worrying about nothing, but I'd like to start thinking about a plan, since with Leo changes have to be made very gradually

[Saharasmom]

What have your tried so far to get the dogs to sleep outside your room?

 

We used to live in a split level with our bedroom on the top floor. Our basement was a walkout with no stairs. After Sahara was diagnosed with cancer, we worried about her getting hurt on the stairs because she would often jump the bottom 3-4 steps. We had three dogs at the time & just set up a baby gate at the bottom of the stairs. Prior to this, all three dogs generally spent our work day (by their choice) in the basement family room. They adjusted quickly to spending the night down there as well.

[PatricksMom]

So far, they pouted and pouted and pouted, and have finally settled for getting to kiss me goodnight and sleep in the guest room with DH (and their water bowl and Leo's comfort object and beds--they're not suffering) and seem fine although Henry's still not happy he can't sleep at the foot of my side of the bed. But they're fine as long as DH is sleeping with them.

 

I'm mostly wondering if we can't get them back in, and switch them to DH's office should Aaron sleep on the floor in there for them for a couple of days, to help them adjust? Or something else? Henry's just the usual adorable bratty greyhound when he doesn't get what he wants, but change stresses out Leo.

[XTRAWLD]

Have you thought about relocating you instead? Like going to a separate room to sleep by yourself? Worst case, a hotel for a night or two so you can get some sleep?

[gracegirl]

I wonder if they would still be unsettled if you could relocate to the guest room instead of DH (and dogs). If they are used to sleeping in the master bedroom, it might be more successful to let them have their ro with DH, rather than making a big change for them of moving to a new room.

Edited August 7, 2015 by gracegirl