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Mac...it's Been Two Months


macdaddy
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It's been two months since I had to let Mac go and I miss him ...EVERY...SINGLE...DAMN...DAY..

 

I actually think I had a little depression episode..I'd had a major depression years ago when my thyroid quit and went untreated for a year..had many of same feeling of sadness,despair,listlessness but things got somewhat better..or maybe less bad..until I'd meet someone while walking Mango who was used to seeing me with both kids and then they'd ask about 'the other one' and I'd choke up..

 

Yesterday had a bad time..I'd been painting the bathroom and ran way WAY late on puppy dinner time..about an hour and a half over...when I finally got to where I could clean up and feed her I found Mango asleep on her pad..I told her " Your brother never would have tolerated this"...which got me thinking about one of Mac's most endearing quirks ..when he want something..like dinner and I wasn't responsive he'd come and ...ever so gently.. take my hand in his mouth and 'lead me' his supper dish or to the door if he wanted out or just to his bed/pad if he just wanted some cuddles and attention ..and I thought never again will he do that and I just lost it..miss you Mac ..miss you bad..

Dogs and small children are the only people I really get along with....MacDaddy

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When we lose a heart dog it hits us really bad, we will choke up and get all teary at the little things that we miss for months afterwards. Yet heart dogs can heal us from the Bridge, we just need to let ourselves cry a little harder so that it gets those endorphins flowing. Those waves of grief help get our memories back into context, and you'll start to see that the happy years you shared with Mac are still there. I'm thinking now of our old Great Dane 'Kerry' who also used to do that hand-taking thing... and pick the right route up through the rocks to the top of the hill. I feel honoured to have shared my life with her instead of sad that she has gone. :grouphug

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It's okay to miss your boy. Those quirks are exactly why we all love these hounds.

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Camp Broodie. The current home of Mark Kay Mark Jack and LaVida I've Got Life.  Always missing my boy Rocket Hi Noon Rocket,  Allie  Phoenix Dynamite, Kate Miss Kate, Starz Under Da Starz, Petunia MW Neptunia and Diva Astar Dashindiva 

 

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This wonderful community is a safe place to share things like this, so many here understand what you are feeling. It has been over 15 months since my heart and soul dog left and I still don't feel human much of the time. A very long time ago I was told that missing someone is a way of keeping them with us, even when they are not. I hope in time that you will be able to find some comfort in that. :grouphug

Old Dogs are the Best Dogs. :heartThank you, campers. Current enrollees:  Punkin. Annie Oooh M. 

Angels: Pal :heart. Segugio. Sorella (TPGIT). LadyBug. Zeke-aroni. MiMi Sizzle Pants. Gracie. Seamie :heart:brokenheart. (Foster)Sweet. Andy. PaddyALVIN!Mayhem. Bosco. Bruno. Dottie B. Trevor Double-Heart. Bea. Cletus, KLTO. Aiden.

:paw Upon reflection, our lives are often referenced in parts defined by the all-too-short lives of our dogs.

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:wub:

 

Hugs. Just hugs.

Star aka Starz Ovation (Ronco x Oneco Maggie*, litter #48538), Coco aka Low Key (Kiowa Mon Manny x Party Hardy, litter # 59881), and mom in Illinois
We miss Reko Batman (Trouper Zeke x Marque Louisiana), 11/15/95-6/29/06, Rocco the thistledown whippet, 04/29/93-10/14/08, Reko Zema (Mo Kick x Reko Princess), 8/16/98-4/18/10, the most beautiful girl in the whole USA, my good egg Joseph aka Won by a Nose (Oneco Cufflink x Buy Back), 09/22/2003-03/01/2013, and our gentle sweet Gidget (Digitizer, Dodgem by Design x Sobe Mulberry), 1/29/2006-11/22/2014, gone much too soon. Never forgetting CJC's Buckshot, 1/2/07-10/25/10.

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Some day you will smile when you think of these things, Mac wouldn't want it any other way. Losing a pup is very hard and little things will happen that put you back there with them and wishing for just one more day.

 

To Mac, a very special pup sorely missed.

Kyle with Stewie ('Super C Ledoux, Super C Sampson x Sing It Blondie) and forever missing my three angels, Jack ('Roy Jack', Greys Flambeau x Miss Cobblepot) and Charlie ('CTR Midas Touch', Leo's Midas x Hallo Argentina) and Shelby ('Shari's Hooty', Flying Viper x Shari Carusi) running free across the bridge.

Gus an coinnich sinn a'rithist my boys and little girl.

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I totally understand. With me, it's been 14 months, and not a day goes by that I don't think of Skeeter with a smile, or a few tears.

I want to believe this means his spirit is still "around"........I just can't see him. Hugs to you.

Blessed is the person who has earned the love of an old dog.

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Spencer left over two years ago, and still we'll run into people from time to time on a walk, asking us where "the other one" is! For me, it's best just to feel honored on Spencer's behalf, that people noticed him and remember. But two months is not very long in the natural history of greyhound-loss grief! Sending warm thoughts to you and Mango.

Mary with Jumper Jack (2/17/11) and angels Shane (PA's Busta Rime, 12/10/02 - 10/14/16) and Spencer (Dutch Laser, 11/25/00 - 3/29/13).

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Let yourself go,dont feel bad about how you feel. love is always something you miss.. Sabrina has been dead for over 3 years & I still think of her. Especiall this week as Aug 6th is her birthday & she would have been 14.

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Caroline, Mom to Daphne (49B-50215) and Penny (41D-55779)
Remembering Bridge Angels Margo and Sabrina

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Still missing Sammi here. I cry every day. Maybe a tear, maybe full gut wracking sobs. Sometimes I feel grateful that she picked River last year and DH acted on it. Sometimes I feel guilty about the comfort River gives so freely... like if Sammi really is/was my heartdog... but they're just the dark, mean thoughts that depression and grief like to sneak in on you at your low points.

 

I still haven't been able to write a fitting tribute for her. I try. But I can't get past that final morning. Took me a month to even be able to get pictures to Dick and have her NGA page updated.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I started talking to Betty's ashes a few nights ago as I was getting in bed. And then just exploded into tears, wailing "You're supposed to be there!" and pointing to the top of the stairs where she would patiently be waiting for me to get into bed before joining me. Coming up on five months gone. :(

 

I still haven't been able to write a fitting tribute for her. I try. But I can't get past that final morning. Took me a month to even be able to get pictures to Dick and have her NGA page updated.

 

 

Those last hours really stick with you, don't they? It sometimes (hell, often) feels so hard to push beyond those and remember the full life together. But the full life was just our life. Nothing special, just a good life together. Which I guess is what made it special. My final hours with Betty were not expected, and I had to make hard decisions as that night wore on and wanted so hard for them to be right. I just remember her eyes. Her eyes had lost their shine. I had to be in the moment and wanted to hold on to every final minute that I could and maybe that's part of why they stick around so much... I don't know. I just know that stupid awful night still sits heavy in my memory. :crying

jeffbettybanner2.jpg

Betty "Beauty" Joan. 63B-21375. June 2003 - March 2015. Thank you pretty girl!

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I totally understand. I lost 3 within the last year and know exactly how you feel. Hugs.

Judy, mom to Darth Vader, Bandita, And Angel

Forever in our hearts, DeeYoGee, Dani, Emmy, Andy, Heart, Saint, Valentino, Arrow, Gee, Bebe, Jilly Bean, Bullitt, Pistol, Junior, Sammie, Joey, Gizmo, Do Bee

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Big hugs. I just can't let go of Aquitaine. I finally decided yesterday that it is okay not to change my desktop picture to Tallulah because I get to see her daily. Even if I can only see Aquitaine on the screen, it helps. I lost it Sunday because my move back to LA was supposed to be our move. She was supposed to get to go to "my" beach and see the ocean. So many thing she/we didn't get to do. I just remind myself that we had seven amazing years together and keep pushing through. It does help that Tallulah throws me to the couch when I get home and mauls me with kisses. No one could do anything but smile and laugh with that kind of greeting.

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