Ja's Bobber 7/7/2005 - 5/8/2015

[racindog]

Mother’s Day 2015….. Bobber and her Mom were reunited-this time forever. They will never have to part again.

After my soul mate Slim crossed over he sent me Bobber. Slim has a terrific sense of humor. Bobber was the antithesis of him. He was a stoic aggressive bad boy warrior that bit everybody given the opportunity. She was a bubbly happy little girl who while she might sound ferocious when someone would jump on the couch beside her she would NEVER but never bite anyone. Everyone learned to ignore her protests.

Now one trait-in fact the only thing that I know she had in common with Slim was she smiled. That’s how he got me to adopt her. I love a smiler and she was a foster-until she smiled. She had the cutest big overbite too. She often smiled and it was priceless. . I would ALWAYS celebrate and say Bobber's Smiling!!! Bobbers Smiling! Look at BobBob smile! Smile Bobber Smile and she would give me the biggest grin! and all the dogs got milky bones to celebrate! We all loved it when Bobber smiled. Everybody got happy when Bobber smiled! But after her mother left she didn’t smile anymore. Before her Mom left she would do it a lot. It seemed like every time I would try to get a picture of that smile though she would stop. I always intended to make a concerted effort 1 day to get a picture of her smiling with a camera taking multiple shots but sadly it didn't happen. Her smile is forever locked in my mind and heart though. I did get some pics of her cute “little” overbite though:

 

 

She was such a happy sweet little girl though I was quite swept off my feet. So one day 3 of her Mom's pups from a different litter needed a foster home so of course they came to us. They were such lovely dogs! Next thing you know her Mom becomes available. Well you know my door was open wide. I wound up adopting her Mom. From the first time I brought her Mom home Bobber was totally devoted to her. Here are some pics from their first meeting since they were separated when Bobber was a pup:

Bobber followed her mother around; she acted protective of her Mom; she did little random acts of kindness for her Mom-like giving Momma her bully stick etc. They kind of had their own little world. They hung out together and so obviously enjoyed being together. It’s almost like they were made for each other. Bobber especially would dote on her mother. She and her Mom hung around together all the time. It really was a blessing be a part of the life she and her Mom shared(look at their love in those eyes):

 

Bobber loved rooing with her Mom and was very enthusiastic about it. She just loved going places and would get so excited just at the thought of getting to go somewhere. I remember seeing her standing at the window less than 2 weeks before she left watching Reba & Gilly Boy and I leaving to go to CGC class. BobBob sooo loved to GO anywhere. I never knew a dog go so bonkers over going somewhere. So it hurt to see her watch us go while she was left at home. I told her that the CGC thing just wasn't appropriate for her and that I would take her somewhere else to make up for it. I promised and told her I was thinking of maybe a local parade or something. Monday AM I see where there was going to be a local senior greyhound picnic on Memorial Day. Oh God would Bobber have loved that and how I would have been so proud and happy to take her- just her finally- getting ALL the attention for a change. But unfortunately she couldn't wait. There were many good times and adventures though. There were look-a-like classes and socializing at the Bluegrass Festivals. The annual Labor Day picnic at the Groth Greyhound Ranch was always one of her favorites and she would get in the pool and play with the other houndies. She was also a world champion roacher. She was always roaching:

 

Momma Seabird thrived as well and didn't cross over until she was 3 weeks shy of 15 years old. Bobber 'understood' about her Mom leaving on one level but on another level she was confused and discombobulated about it. I had laid Momma's coat and harness on the floor when I returned from her last vet trip. Bobber was drawn to it and kept investigating and smelling it with a sad kind of confused demeanor until I removed it. And neither was on Momma when she crossed over as I had removed them and put them aside-but she understood her Mom was not coming home and she became somber.

 

She managed to have little brief episodes now and then that gave me hope she might be able to put it behind her, but it was clear she had been profoundly influenced by her Mothers crossing over. But in the 10 weeks since her Mom had left I believe that it was only once recently that she managed a smile. Unheard of from a dog who would spread smiles around like sunshine. And briefly when she would run with Gilly Boy and catch him and pass him with me cheering her on-for a few seconds-I seen a little happiness-but then it was over and it was back to acting dejected.

Honestly I seen the situation and I even mentioned to a few people that I was gravely concerned for Bobber-that I felt she might deliberately follow her Mom to the bridge. But what do you do? You love and be there for them and hope. And surely things of that magnitude are a rarity. Surely Bobber and her Mom would adjust to their new situation. Her Mom was still here in spirit. Last Sun AM (May 3) Bobber suddenly jumped up from snoozing in her usual spot on the sofa---she was allowing Momma to visit through her-and came over to me, and Momma visited through her-just like Momma always used to do when she would come over to me on Saturday and Sunday mornings after breakfast. That is also when we had our last roo. I thanked her very much for it. Bobber was also the one who allowed Goldie to first visit with his standing up belly rubs and it was nearly impossible for me to put my shoes on without her coming and stepping over me for a standing up belly rub ransom-as Goldie used to do. If she seen me she would get up from sleeping and do it because she knew how comforting it was to all of us. Bobber was always very in tune with spiritual issues. I noticed this trait in most of Momma’s other kids as well.

However the truth is there is no 'new situation' for Bobber & her Mom. They were always meant to be together and for several years right here on God’s green earth I was blessed with sharing it with them. Where one goes the other MUST follow-it is out of anybody else’s control. They are more a single item than 2 individual entities. Somethings are meant to be. Something special the creator put there when Bobber was conceived-it has ALWAYS been her and her Mom joined as one. Destiny. I don't have to understand why or anything else. I can just marvel at the love and beauty of it and be grateful that I was allowed to be a part of these amazing girls' lives.

 

I am still in shock and numbed over the events that happened on the night she crossed over. Thursday she was flying around the yard doing zoomies with Gilly Boy and me cheering her on. She loved when she would catch and “beat” him. Friday while I was changing clothes I heard someone cry. I checked and it was Bobber on was laying on the sofa where she always does when she comes in. She had just came back in from going potty and had been a-ok. When I first stood her up she could stand up-only her right hind foot was knuckled over. By the time I got her to the truck to leave the left foot was knuckled also. By the time we got to the vet she couldn't stand. It progressed so fast. Vet said she could have done it jumping onto the sofa and that it was a very sudden occurrence. Bobber was totally paralyzed ...struggling...crying.

 

Took x-rays which looked good with a possible small disc issue. The vet (and the ‘know it all’ vet tech) told me it wasn't that bad and that she should get better pretty quick, that my biggest problem would be to keep her from getting too active when she started to feel better from the prescribed prednisone and robaxin.

 

By the time we got home from the vet it had started to progress forward and the whole bottom half of her like was paralyzed back legs feet everything. The best she could do was sit in a weird sitting position with her hind legs under her and forward. She was crying constantly. I wondered why the vet had not given her some Tramadol or something for pain. I reasoned that maybe it probably wasn't so much a result of pain as it was stress. The vet told me earlier that pain in cases like this was the result of muscle spasms so I guess the vet thought the 1 ½ Robaxins would relieve any pain.

 

I do think it was mostly stress. I knew Bobber could not stand pain and suffering. While I have had several that tolerated pain quite well if not courageously it scared Bobber and she feared it. One day when Momma was in a bad way Bobber told me this and I promised her that she did not have to worry because I would never let her suffer. That I understood she just couldn't tolerate it like her Mom and some of the others. When I brought her home and she was paralyzed she was totally freaked out. She kept struggling and struggling trying to stand up over and over-I couldn't make her stop-and she kept saying' I can't stand up I can't even stand up oh no what am I going to do? I can't even go potty...oh no look at me...I can't even stand up...what am I going to do?...I can't stand this...I can't live this way.....'and she was panting a lot from the great exertion. She managed somehow one time to stand up when I had run off to get her water or something but both hind feet were knuckled and she went down again-never to get up again. I had a little spark of hope then. I knew Bobber is not psychologically suited to cope with something like this. I promised her I would not let her suffer. Cash only lasted around 12 weeks after she went down and she suffered and fought and was courageous to the max. I knew Bobber would never be able to handle such a thing and I knew I would keep the promise I made her to not to ever let her suffer.

 

She continued like this until she totally exhausted herself. I talked to her and tried to calm her. I tried to call the vet twice who didn't answer (big surprise) or respond to the voice mail I left. I wondered if I should take her to another vet at an emergency clinic. I thought her mouth felt colder that it should when I gave her the meds. She only drank one little sip of water and after that refused to drink or eat anything despite the prednisone she was given. I took her temp which was ~102.9 -that was ok considering the warm day and the tremendous exertion she had been going through struggling. I checked her pulse- I was surprised that it wasn't racing but it wasn't. It was strong and normal considering. I checked her color and capillary response time-both were excellent. The only thing out of range imo was the elevated respiration rate. She had no difficulty breathing it was just elevated and panting with a big tongue. In addition the process of moving her to transport again might cause irreparable harm when if I just leave her alone she would get alright when the meds started working? The vet had assured me she should rapidly improve. So I elected not to go to a 2nd vet as I figured they would check the vital signs as I had and just tell me the same thing the first vet did.

I think Bobber got pretty give out from all the struggling and she started to lay down-still panting. I told her that ‘Bobber if you want to go you can. IT’s OK. I just want what you want. I want you to be happy. Now if you settle down and let the medicine work then you might have a little while longer you can stay without too much problem or pain and stuff. If you still have not improved by Monday then I will probably go ahead and send you to the bridge because that means it’s so bad you’re not really going to get well and I promised you I would not let you suffer. Now the vet said you are supposed to get a lot better pretty quick and that my biggest problem would be in restricting your activity once you began to feel so much better but you’ve got to settle down and rest and let the medicine work. If you keep struggling and fighting like this you are going to make yourself worse and then who knows what will happen. Now I love you baby –…I love you sooo much…..I’ll see you tomorrow morning. …and so on. I anointed her with oil and prayed with her.

 

We went to bed and I heard two or 3 sighs in amongst all the panting. It was not the GSOD and I just thought it was part of her being so stressed and agitated. I didn’t see it as unusual under the circumstances. In the night I could hear the excessive panting had stopped and I thought that she had settled down and the muscle relaxant had started working.

I expected to see her greatly improved in the morning as the vet had led me to believe. Anticipated fixing her a nice breakfast and beginning to get her on her feet good again. However she had apparently left when she let out the strange sighs. I felt so terrible I wasn't with her; only a few feet away-might as well have been a world away. I actually had thought of sleeping on a pallet with her in the living room but I knew the prednisone would likely cause incontinence which would have mortified her and so I didn't.

 

See that’s something else I knew about her. She would NEVER and I mean NEVER make a mess or damage anything or do anything ‘embarrassing’. She NEVER EVER had a single accident of any kind in the house. She NEVER ever damaged a single thing. I knew that when the prednisone physically took control of her body from her and forced her to that it would hurt her tremendously psychologically. Well that didn't happen. She would rather die than make a mess in the house and that’s what she did. The fleece I found her on-despite the medications that should have took her control away from her-was spotless. I had another hound, Cash, that was similar. Cash-also paralyzed- was a real lady and she simply refused to go when I would try and sit her up and position her. When I would carry her out my arm under her would express her bladder but she never went poop-she crossed over about 4 days later her dignity still intact.

 

I searched and searched for some explanation of what physically was the cause of death. What did the vet miss? Almost all of the spinal things had a grim and/or fatal prognosis inevitably. I nearly always can find out but not this time- of all the paralysis spine diseases and even with my experience with them I could find no single syndrome that matched up satisfactorily. And I know why. Just like I couldn't admit to myself that this might happen. When I found out I could communicate with animals I thought at first it was a great blessing-and maybe it is-but it can be very tough sometimes knowing so much. On the positive side it enables me to know with certainty that her and her Momma are in fact now racing across the meadow-I wonder who is winning? And it was no coincidence that she picked this weekend to leave. It is Mother’s Day. For most people it is a big deal. She left at this time for a number of reasons- one of course so she could be with her Mom on the big day and also to confirm to me what I really already knew. It really was she left to go be with her mom. No other explanation makes sense even.

Bobber has since told me actually that I should feel compassion for the vet because it was out of her hands just like it was out of my hands. The vet was just a participant. Bobber crossed over only about 4 or 5 hours after the vet sent her home and told me she would be ok…..Bobber was going to cross over Friday and there was nothing any of us could do to prevent it. My poor little Bobber with the big smiles and big overbite. But I knew and I understood. I didn't know how things would necessarily play out and I couldn't overtly admit it but I knew. Bobber actually wants me to tell the vet not to feel bad because it was out of her control. Don't know if that will ever happen but I at least feel kindly to the vet. I know she or I either one had no control over Bobbers leaving; if it wouldn't have been that way it would have been another way.

And not to overlook her biggest act of selflessness and love she knew the great difficulty I would have making the decision to let her go-so she spared me and went on her own. I had told her before I went to bed that if she wanted to cross over she could-that I just wanted what she wanted-I wanted her to be happy. She knew I understood her relationship with Momma yet she didn't leave until we talked and she found out I understood and was ok with it-then poof she was with her Mom probably in less than an hour. That was quite a feat-and she done it to save me the agonizing decision. See every cell of the body fights and screams for survival-it is not always easy to separate the spirit from the body-that’s why some need help. The way her body was laying when I found it appeared that she had just let go of her body-she was stretched out and comfortable laying on her fleece and could have just been sleeping. The only thing that didn’t look peaceful was her mouth was open due to all the panting and her tongue was real dark blue and had started to dry.

 

If she would not have died she probably would have been suffering right now and I would have been sickened seeing it and totally stressed knowing I would have to honor the promise I made her-though I would have been honored to help her. Even with the best prognosis it would have been mental cruelty to her to lose control of her body and have pain and infirmities. She was terrified of that. She also could never allow herself to be any sort of burden to me or her pack. It was just inconceivable. She never ever made even the slightest mess or damage and always tried to stay 'out of the way' on the sidelines so as not to be any trouble bless her heart. Occasionally she would see a spot open next to me on the sofa and would zoom into it for some lovin' and of course she would sometimes start the Bobber smile fest and rooing really got her excited too. On the other hand if it would have been an evet that may have felt rather extensive testing was necessary she would have died in a cold hospital with tubes and needles stuck in her. At least she was in her home, surrounded by her family, it was peaceful as possible and she was as comfortable as possible on 2 fleeces in "her apartment" the x-pen.

 

At best it was a catastrophic event that would have required an emergency decision that may very well have been unfair to her if it had played out another way. Just the disability and mental anguish of being in such a state could kill her in itself. Instead of being here--suffering…paralyzed and miserable...completely out of her element and mortified by her situation-she spent Mother's Day together with her beloved MOM-both of them young dogs again-healthy, happy, and fast! Her pack she left behind now tries to 'focus on the next turn'(The Art of Racing in the Rain) as they know is best. THAT is the BOTTOM LINE. Could there possibly be any question that it all worked out for the best?-I think not.

Just in this short time since her crossing I have come to realize that Bobber had given me a great gift witnessing the bond between her and her Mom. She saved me from the pain and distress of seeing her in terrible distress. She saved me from having to make an agonizing decision to honor a promise I made to her. I owe her a huge debt of gratitude because she knew exactly what was the best thing to do and seen it through.

 

I keep telling myself that she is happy now and so I shouldn’t be sad and she wouldn’t have it if she was here in body-she’d start a smile fest and melt me into happiness-again. And she is once again with her Mom-and both of them happy and healthy –and I do share their happiness- but still being in this earth realm myself my heart is broken and I cry and I miss her. I know from experience though that my pack-those here and those in spirit-that we will all pick up the pieces and do like we should. We must because anything other than living in the now- the now that admits and knows is so wonderful for them-anything less than that would be to dishonor the best little fawn female to ever come out of Florida,

 

Oh my precious BobBob- I honor you and love you forever. I can never thank you enough for all the love you continue to share with me. Still water runs deep- you are a pawsome hound- in every way. You are a hard act to follow but wow what an example you have made. You have set the bar pretty high little girl! We love you forever! Smiles…..

Edited May 13, 2015 by racindog

[Guest Lygracilux]

Anddd, I'm crying.

 

This was beautiful, her and her mom are beautiful. I bet they're happy, rooing and frolicking around in heaven. Pain free, and happy. Together.

Sending hugs and thoughts to you and your girls, wherever they may be. <3

[TheFullHouse]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. She was definitely a special girl. Godspeed sweetie.

[ramonaghan]

I'm so sorry for the sudden loss of your girl. I am sure there was an amazing reunion at the Bridge. Rest well, Bobber.

[greytpups]

i"m so sorry for your loss

[XTRAWLD]

What a tribute. Thank you for the story. Rest well now Bobber.

[AnneGTS]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[BellaBean]

Donna, I'm so sorry. I loved giving her cuddles at the annual Labor day party

[Guest PiagetsMom]

Bobber was a beautiful red girl, and you clearly loved her well. I'm so very sorry

[Time4ANap]

That was a beautiful tribute to your gorgeous girl.

 

Run free, Bobber.

[Houndtime]

It must be a comfort to you to know that she is pain free and at peace.

 

You story make me feel more comfortable with the decision the let Fuzzy go on the day he slipped on the ice. His symptoms were so similar to Bobber's. I have always felt some guilt, in that, maybe we should have waited a day. But, he was in so much pain and upset, I couldn't let him suffer like that.

 

I am so sorry for your loss.

Edited May 13, 2015 by Houndtime

[MP_the4pack]

[Remolacha]

I am so sorry Try and take some comfort that she is now reunited with her beloved mother

[Hawthorn]

What an amazing girl she was and what an amazing, understanding tribute too.

 

Be happy with your Mom in heaven beautiful Bobber.

[FiveRoooooers]

Donna, I am sad that Bobbers has crossed, but reading your distinguished tribute puts it all into perspective and assures us that it was, indeed, her time to join her momma. The signs she will be sending you will be just incredible. My heart goes out to you.

 

 

[carronstar]

Weeping profusely at work. Never an easy thing to explain. Bobber lived the life she was meant to live, and she left on her own terms. That is the best we can ask for.

There are days when I honestly believe that loving this breed is a blessing and a curse. Not that we would have it any other way.

Fly with your mama, Bobber.

[Beachbum1]

So very sorry for your loss

[RaineysMom]

oh Donna, I'm so very, very sorry :( I remember Bobber from Bluegrass (and her mom) -- I'm sure she is happy to be with her dear mother again, but I'm so sorry she had to leave you sending you many, many hugs

[bradymom]

Weeping, what a beautiful tribute to Momma and Bobber. They are happy and healthy together again.

[RedHead]

What an amazing and special bond you got to experience. I am so sorry for your sudden loss. I hope you can be at peace knowing your two pups are reunited over the bridge.

[Neighsayer]

Hugs!

[Batmom]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

Godspeed, sweetie.

[fliggie]

I'm so, so sorry.

[Guest Johberry]

So very sorry for your loss.

[Guest normaandburrell]

So sorry for your loss. But so glad you got to experience both these beautiful girls and their bond. Run free, Bobber.