carronstar Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 (edited) It is almost impossible to write this, and admit that my Aquitaine is gone from this world. It was too fast. Anything would have been too fast, and my promise to her had always been that I would not allow her to ever be in any pain. We fought the CRF for two years. To the amazement of her doctors, and with the help of many wonderful people here on GT who shared their wisdom with us, we had basically stopped any progression. The sad truth was, with the exception of the “new” osteo, she was a happy, healthy dog. That made it both so very much harder, and yet, easier, to let her go. She was happy, she was barking and eating and loving everyone. But she was limping, not putting weight on her foot, and we all know the pain of this monster. They told me I might have a few more months. Months where she would be completely drugged, and in the words of the very kind vet who spent the whole day with us, even at the highest dose, there would still be a breakthrough pain that would be a dull, throbbing, constant pain. I couldn’t do it to her. No matter that I wanted every possible minute with her, I just couldn’t do it. Her companion, Kelly, who has walked her for 8 years came to us, in tears herself (she lost her pit to this and knows how horrible it is), bearing chicken nuggets that we fed her while we cried and she was thrilled to get the big treat. It was as peaceful and beautiful as possible. It was still so very wrong. My girl came to me on December 30, 2006. Ten days after Morgaine died from a status seizure. A seizure the emergency vet said my vet mis-diagnosed, that was caused because either Kelly or I had let her pick up poison in the park and eat it. I must admit that when I called my own vet, the “C” word was used but he assured me that she was a good doctor, even if everyone hated her and she failed her clinicials. She couldn’t save my girl. In fairness, I was pretty sure that would be the case. It was her cruelty that rankled. The amazing people at GPA-CNHC pulled together and chose a grey for me, and found drivers to bring her to a parking lot in Danbury, CT. I picked up Morgaine in a similar parking lot. Apparently, Danbury is the half-way point between Concord, New Hampshire and NYC. An amazing newlywed couple (thank you Jen), with their own grey, on an unpleasant winter day, right before New Year’s Eve. Aquitaine’s adoptable picture was hilarious. She was orange. Tony the Tiger orange. But looking at the dogs online, I just knew that she would be the girl they sent to me. I had known that Morgaine would be my girl 3 years earlier. The letter from her foster family warned me that she was dominant. Not a problem. I was raised in a dominant, matriarchal Irish-Catholic Boston family. Dominant barely fazed me. It turns out that it was far more a case of extreme enthusiasm. She was a nitter. If she loved you, she would stop, in the middle of chewing a bone, playing with a toy, whatever, reach over and nibble on your arm and go right back to what she was doing. She was also a very enthusiastic hugger. She would get all riled up on her couch, that lower back end pumping away, wrap her paws around you and just hug and bump. It was like being on a date with a 13 year old boy. I know that I was supposed to correct her. That never happened. Mostly because I thought it was hilarious and I was just laughing too hard. She never did it with anyone else so it was clear that it was not an area of concern. I knew right from the moment that she got in the car, that she was perfect. My friend Warren had driven me up to get her. As the responsible psychologist that he is, and in addition to another psychiatrist friend, he had asked if I was sure about what I was doing. As they knew, I DO NOT DO WELL AT ALL when I lose an animal. From guppy to greyhound. The pain is extreme, the wailing loud. I made it clear to him that while I understood repeating situations where you know the outcome will be bad/wrong may well be the definition of insanity, every bad day is outweighed in the hundreds by the good days, and by the love that they bring. Even the bad days are made better because of the loving bond. He cleared me as at least mostly sane, and we met my girl in the parking lot. First impression, absolutely gorgeous, much smaller than Morgaine – the 90 lb galoot of a girl – and very sweet. We got in the car, she curled right up in “dog in a ball” and watched Warren drive. I laid my head in her paws and talked to her, and promised that she would be cared for and adored, that lovely food and toys were in her future, that she had a gorgeous blond doctor who traveled on roller blades right to her own apartment, and that anything she ever needed would be hers. That she would never be hurt, or alone. And I cried. A lot. Morgaine had only just begun to blossom and feel at home with me at not quite 3 years. She had been a wonderful therapy dog and had been accepted just that week to do home visits for the ill and elderly. A promotion, if you will, from nursing home visits. And then, suddenly, she was gone. Aquitaine just let me lay my head in her paws and talk. Aquitaine was really one in a million. We all feel that way. We are all right. She was my one in a million. I think I will let the words of a man who used to mean the world to me, who, although our personal relationship failed, was always trusted with my girls. One of the first times that he walked her he left a priceless note. It said “She is one of the all-time GREAT dogs.” I have held on to this note, I will be framing this. He could not possibly have been more right. She really was one of the all time great dogs. Edited October 21, 2014 by carronstar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iluvgreys Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 What a heart touching tribute to your special girlie. She was much loved. I'm so very sorry it was time for her to leave. Know that her spirit lives on in your heart forever. Godspeed, sweet Aquitaine... Quote Jeanne with Remington & Scooter the cat....and Beloved Bridge Angels Sandee, Shari, Wells, Derby, Phoenix, Jerry Lee and Finnian.....If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heavenand bring you home again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beachbum1 Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 So very sorry for your loss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krissy Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 What a lovely tribute. Sorry for your loss. Quote Kristie and the Apex Agility Greyhounds: Kili (ATChC AgMCh Lakilanni Where Eagles Fly RN IP MSCDC MTRDC ExS Bronze ExJ Bronze ) and Kenna (Lakilanni Kiss The Sky RN MADC MJDC AGDC AGEx AGExJ). Waiting at the Bridge: Retired racer Summit (Bbf Dropout) May 5, 2005-Jan 30, 2019 Like us on Facebook! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schultzlc Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I am so sorry for the loss of your special girl. Quote Laura, mom to Luna (Boc's Duchess) and Nova (Atascocita Venus).Forever in my heart, Phantom (Tequila Nights) and Zippy (Iruska Monte). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiveRoooooers Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Aquitaine was really one in a million. We all feel that way. We are all right. She was my one in a million. She was perfect in every way, and she left knowing without any inkling of doubt just how very truly she was loved. Carron, I am so very sorry. Missing someone is a way of keeping them with us, even when they are not. Quote Old Dogs are the Best Dogs. Thank you, campers. Current enrollees: Punkin. AnnIE Oooh M Angels: Pal . Segugio. Sorella (TPGIT). LadyBug. Zeke-aroni. MiMi Sizzle Pants. Gracie. Seamie . (Foster)Sweet. Andy. PaddyALVIN!Mayhem. Bosco. Bruno. Dottie B. Trevor Double-Heart. Bea. Cletus, KLTO. Aiden 1-4. Upon reflection, our lives are often referenced in parts defined by the all-too-short lives of our dogs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greytpups Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Your tribute was so touching and full of love....I'm so sorry for your loss. Quote Jan with precious pups Emmy (Stormin J Flag) and Simon (Nitro Si) and Abbey Field. Missing my angels: Bailey Buffetbobleclair 11/11/98-17/12/09; Ben Task Rapid Wave 5/5/02-2/11/15; Brooke Glo's Destroyer 7/09/06-21/06/16 and Katie Crazykatiebug 12/11/06 -21/08/21. My blog about grief The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not get over the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same, nor would you want to. ― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnF Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 So sorry to read of your loss. That beautifully-written tribute was surely inspired by her from the Bridge... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remolacha Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I am so sorry. That was a beautiful tribute, I wish I could be so eloquent for my dogs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest normaandburrell Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 So sorry for your loss. Run free, Aquitaine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3greys2cats Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I'm so very sorry, your tribute was just beautiful Quote Roberta & Michael with Furkids- Flower (Shasta Flowers 6/7/06) & Rascal the kitty - Missing our sweet angels - Max(M's Mad Max) 10/12/02 - 12/3/15, Sara (Sara Raves 6/30/01 - 4/13/12) Queenie & Pandora the kitties - gone but never forgotten Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramonaghan Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I'm so sorry you've lost your one-in-a-million girl. Rest well, Aquitaine. Quote Rachel with littermates Doolin and Willa, boss cat Tootie, and feline squatters Crumpet and Fezziwig. Missing gentlemen kitties Mud, Henry, and Richard and our beautiful, feisty, silly Sweep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Time4ANap Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 That was a beautiful tribute for your sweet girl. Run free, Aquitaine. Quote Camp Broodie. The current home of Mark Kay Mark Jack and Gracie Kiowa Safe Joan. Always missing my boy Rocket Hi Noon Rocket, Allie Phoenix Dynamite, Kate Miss Kate, Starz Under Da Starz, Petunia MW Neptunia, Diva Astar Dashindiva, and LaVida I've Got Life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest patgam Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I am so sorry for your loss of Aquitaine. Your tribute was beautiful. Run free pretty girl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest AndyK Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 So sorry to hear that, she sounds like an amazing hound. Really beautiful tribute to her, sounds like she was very lucky to have you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burpdog Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Sending my sympathy & hugs What a greyt grey she is! Run like the wind silly girl Quote Diane & The Senior Gang Burpdog Biscuits Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarabz Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I'm so sorry Carron Quote Dave (GLS DeviousDavid) - 6/27/18 Gracie (AMF Saying Grace) - 10/21/12 Bella (KT Britta) - 4/29/05 to 2/13/20 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winnie Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 My condolences on the lost of your beautiful, perfect girl. So many of us know the heartbreak of osteo and have felt the pain you're experiencing. Quote Laura with Celeste (ICU Celeste) and Galgos Beatrix and Encarna The Horse - Gracie (MD Grace E) Bridge Angels Faye Oops (Santa Fe Oops), Bonny (Bonny Drive), Darcy (D's Zipperfoot) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BlueCrab Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 What a beautiful tribute. So sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Houndmommy03 Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I'm so sorry for your loss. Quote <p>Kim and the hound - RumorMissing my angels Marlow, Silver, Holly and Lucky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batmom Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I'm so sorry for the loss of your special girl. Godspeed, sweetheart. Quote Star aka Starz Ovation (Ronco x Oneco Maggie*, litter #48538), Coco aka Low Key (Kiowa Mon Manny x Party Hardy, litter # 59881), and mom in IllinoisWe miss Reko Batman (Trouper Zeke x Marque Louisiana), 11/15/95-6/29/06, Rocco the thistledown whippet, 04/29/93-10/14/08, Reko Zema (Mo Kick x Reko Princess), 8/16/98-4/18/10, the most beautiful girl in the whole USA, my good egg Joseph aka Won by a Nose (Oneco Cufflink x Buy Back), 09/22/2003-03/01/2013, and our gentle sweet Gidget (Digitizer, Dodgem by Design x Sobe Mulberry), 1/29/2006-11/22/2014, gone much too soon. Never forgetting CJC's Buckshot, 1/2/07-10/25/10. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlies_Dad Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 "I laid my head in her paws and talked to her, and promised that she would be cared for and adored, that lovely food and toys were in her future, that she had a gorgeous blond doctor who traveled on roller blades right to her own apartment, and that anything she ever needed would be hers." Yeah she was loved. All she ever asked you gave to her. You were both lucky to have each other, try to hold onto that. I know it doesn't sound like much right now. And finally, I am sorry beyond words. Run free Aquitaine, run free sweetie... Quote Kyle with Stewie ('Super C Ledoux, Super C Sampson x Sing It Blondie) and forever missing my three angels, Jack ('Roy Jack', Greys Flambeau x Miss Cobblepot) and Charlie ('CTR Midas Touch', Leo's Midas x Hallo Argentina) and Shelby ('Shari's Hooty', Flying Viper x Shari Carusi) running free across the bridge. Gus an coinnich sinn a'rithist my boys and little girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fliggie Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 I'm so sorry. Quote My Photojournal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neighsayer Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Hugs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BatterseaBrindl Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 So very sorry for the loss of your very special girlie. Remember the good times.... Quote Nancy...Mom to Sid (Peteles Tiger), Kibo (112 Carlota Galgos) and Joshi. Missing Casey, Gomer, Mona, Penelope, BillieJean, Bandit, Nixon (Starz Sammie), Ruby (Watch Me Dash) Nigel (Nigel), and especially little Mario, waiting at the Bridge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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