Suggestions For New Foster With Slight Sa

[Guest Trey2]

I took in a foster last week, a four year old black-with-white-toes-and-tail-tip boy named Trent. He's been through a bit lately- picked up from the track by the adoption group in July, adopted in August, surrendered back to the group in September (due to the adopter's personal reasons, not due to anything he did wrong) and then straight to me. So he's bounced around a bit the last few months and he's had a lot of changes to process.

 

He's been doing extremely well all things considered, and especially since he's been with me for less than a week (it will be one week tomorrow). I already think I'm going to fail this fostering thing and adopt him, so I want to make sure that I'm doing right by him and making sure he grows comfortable and confident.

 

He seems to have a slight separation anxiety issue. Nothing bad - no accidents so far, and no destruction of property. But he does cry when I leave on occasion (my last grey didn't do this at all, so this is all new to me). His first test run was me taking the trash out the day after he arrived and he yelled and screamed. I took some steps to alone train him, and he built up quickly to me leaving for a quick trip to the grocery store without issue - as long as he couldn't see me out the window (he sees me out there and he starts to holler). I've been able to distract him with a snack when I leave so he doesn't try to get out the door behind me and he's too busy eating to look out the window.

 

I worked a half day Monday and Tuesday and that seemed to go fine, though he was clearly a little stressed when I got home (yawning and stretching in that tension-relief way). Wednesday I did a full day, coming home to check on him at lunch. When I checked on him he was snoozing on his bed, so he was obviously relaxed enough to sleep and everything went smoothly. But as he's gotten more settled and more attached to me, the more bummed out he's getting when he can tell I'm getting ready to leave. He's been a bit more clingy the past two mornings, and today (Thursday) when I left after checking on him at lunch, he wasn't distracted by his snack and tried to follow me out the door, then hollered when he saw me walk by the window (it didn't seem to last very long - I stopped just out of view to see if he carried on after he couldn't see me, and he seemed quiet after a couple yelps).

 

So, nothing major and he's still very new to me and my home, but was wondering a few things:

 

- Am I doing more harm than good by checking on him at lunch? I do it to give him a potty break, but it's also creating another situation where I leave him and he could potentially get upset. Again, no accidents so far, and he sleeps through the night with no potty break. Am I just waking him up and upsetting him unnecessarily?

 

- Any other suggestions on things that may help him? I got a DAP diffuser for him, and I know he needs more time as well, but I just wondered if anyone had any other suggestions.

 

Thanks in advance!

[Guest normaandburrell]

I think you are doing great. The only suggestion I would make is leaving the radio on for him. I think you will know when to stop checking him at lunch.