Who Should Be There When You Say Good Bye? Planning Ahead.

[Guest beetle_slayer]

The short and sweet. My kids were 4 and 5 when we said good bye to our first. Thankful my mother was visiting to be with them. I was with my wife in the back yard when the vet helped her.

 

I have a 6 1/2 with osteo. My kids are almost 8 and 9. Should they be around, or are they too young? We hope when the time comes to let her go in her favorite sunbathing spot. We definitely want our almost 5yr old grey boy to be there. I have heard they understand what is happening and that they need their moments to say goodbye to the body.

 

Just want some input from others. I don't want anyone else there. I spoke with my old vet about her procedures before it was time. I have also done the same to my new vet. I still love my old vet just wanted a very grey savvy as I was dealing with osteo.

 

I urge anyone that has not let a pet go to talk to their vet well in advance about their policies/procedures for letting a pet go. A clear mind works better.

 

Hopefully I still have a good while as her amp was done last week. As they say there are only two guarantees in life: death and taxes. Dogs are luck they don't have to pay taxes.

[Houndtime]

In any case. your kids are going to know the dog is gone. Only you know their maturity level, and how they will deal with the loss and whether to be there in person, or hear about it from you afterwards. Perhaps you could ask them what they would like to do. Maybe they would like to hold and pet the dog when she is leaving.

 

I agree with you about pre-arranging you pet's last day. We consulted with a vet who makes home visits and made all the arrangments before Paul left.

 

Now that all that has been said, I wish your girl many healthy days and months ahead.

[macoduck]

Ditto what Houndtime said.

 

I'm guessing that your vet gives one injection to sedate and a very short while after that, the final injection. I have lost 13 dogs (2 mutts, 2 iggies, 1 galgo, 8 greyhounds). Most, but not all, went calmly. Though not horrible, the few that reacted with making noises startled me. Have an explanation ready for your kids if that happens- something on a happy note.

 

The oddest was when Niña left us. She'd received the sedation injection and my vet and I talked for a bit. Just before administering the final injection, Niña raised her head, opened her eyes and looked directly at my vet and I. Then she lay her head down, closed her eyes and sighed as the injection was given. It was as if she was saying it's OK to let me go.....

 

A friend's mixed breed dog had a difficult time because the vet could not find a vein. The dog had to have 4 jabs of a needle before one vein would hold for the injection. That vet did not use sedation and did not insert a port like my vet does.

[Houndmommy03]

My kids were in 2cd and 5th grades when we had to say goodbye to our first greyhound (she had osteo). We talked about what was going to happen and then gave them the choice as to whether they wanted to be with us. They both chose to stay and handled it well. I think the important thing is to explain what is going to happen ahead of time.

[BatterseaBrindl]

How wonderful that your hound can pass in her favourite spot at home.

We have had all but one of our critters PTS at home.

 

Yes.......only you know how mature your children are.....

However...my Grandkids are 6 and 8 and I think they could handle it, and would allow them to be present.

 

Here's hoping your hound has a lot of time left....

[winnie]

I don't have children, so I can't help there. However, we did bring our greyhound Celeste with us when Faye Oops left us due to osteo. Those two dogs shared an incredible bond. Celeste was a huge source of comfort for Faye Oops in those final moments. Faye Oops wouldn't setting until Celeste laid her head on her. It made everyone cry. I've read many posts where the dogs feel lost when they lose a pack member. We didn't really experience that with Celeste. I'd like to believe that being with Faye Oops until the end gave her closure.

[Roo]

What others suggested. Only you know your kids and what they can handle. I like the idea of talking to them, explaining everything that'll happen (and why it's happening), and giving them the choice. Personally, I was 14 when we let Regis go (osteo). I was there with him, cuddling his head, and I wouldn't have it any other way. He was my first dog and the first creature I loved who passed away (not counting fish - I loved my fish but it's different somehow). I'm glad I was there for it - it helped me know what to expect in the future - and since then, I've made the choice (or been involved in the process) for 4 creatures.

[Guest beetle_slayer]

My first vet explained the process before. Sedate, then final injection. She explained that sometimes the sedation doesn't always keep everything calm as there may be a gasp or jerking. My new vet doesn't make house calls but one of the others does by apt. He owns the practice and has 2 full time and 1 part time dr.s working for/with him. The one that makes house calls has a relationship with my Barbie as she helped take care of her and I have spoken with her.

 

Let's all hope we each have 1 more day with our loved ones--furry, fleshy, scaly, fishy, feathery! Live 1 day at a time.

[sobesmom]

I think it's wonderful that you're putting thought and planning into this very difficult situation. I also think it's amazing that your vet will come to your home when the time comes. Personally, with children that age, I wouldn't want them to actually be present. Actually witnessing a pet pass is heart-wrenching for you and you will show your emotions. Children sometimes find witnessing their parents being distraught very upsetting. They might be more upset about YOU being upset than about the loss of the dog. I would want to prepare the children, tell them what's going to happen and why, send them away, take care of what needs to be done, have my time of grief, compose myself, then tell the children that it's over, and their friend has moved on.

 

My DD is 17 and honestly, if I had to help our grey pass over now, I wouldn't want her there to see it. I've seen it with my first grey and it a horrible thing to have to witness. It was easy and peaceful, but it was a terrible thing to witness a death. I just don't want my DD to see that yet. But that's just me. I don't know if that's the best way.

 

I'm not telling you what I think you should do. I don't know what you should do. You asked for input so I gave you my take on my feelings and my experience in my house.

 

I wish you the best through this very difficult time. And I applaud your efforts to do what is best for your children. I'm sure that whatever you decide will be fine. You obviously care very much, and that's what matters. There is no "right" in these situations, there's only the best we can do to get through them.

 

Take care.

[Guest beetle_slayer]

Thank you Sobesmom. I want the children to say goodbye but not leaning to them being at her side. Definitely had a few emotional times in front of my children I failed to control and it does make them sad or scared. I will have my Diego by her so he can maybe understand. Who knows? It may be my Barbie by his side. Thank you for your inputs everyone.

[Guest Celestrina]

Have you asked vet if he/she has any rules or preferences regarding age?

[maria]

I think your kids are old enough and should be there if they want to, but if they don't, then I wouldn't force them.

[cleptogrey]

our daughter was 18 when she watched our very ill scottie be put down, she was a mess. i know i was the first time i had a dog euthanized and that i personally wouldn't have young children watch. can you do it at the vet's office? i always have,my vet is most loving and caring and our dog always feels relaxed in his hands. it's weird, emily was standing on her 3 good legs(osteo of the shoulder) when the injection was administered. we watched her peacefully look at us and ever so gracefully fold down into a comfortable position. our vet wrapped her(we had a big blanket on the examining table) and carried her to the car. we bury our dogs at their most favorite spot.