Remaining Dog Is Depressed

[tra708]

We just lost Jackie the other day, but her companion Lola is still here with us, and I'm concerned about her. She's 10 yrs old, just like her sister was. Jackie was large and very mellow, but definitely the alpha, and Lola worshipped her and was very attached. Lola was the shy, skittish one, and she looked to Jackie for confidence. When Jackie was sick, Lola didn't leave her side.

Right now, Lola searches the house looking for Jackie, and hasn't eaten in 2 days. She is withdrawn. I am giving her loads of attention, walks, etc.

I know it's only been a couple of days, but I'm wondering what others' experiences are with this situation, and how long it took to improve.

If you adopted another one, how long did you wait? Watching her look for her sister is breaking my (already broken) heart.

tracy

[Guest june]

I'm so sorry for your loss of Jackie.

 

I started with 3 and lost 2 within 4 months of each other, the last on in November of last year. I was going to wait for spring before bringing home another grey. About 3 weeks after Angel left for the bridge I came home and found Rona howling and she didn't even hear me come in the house or call her name. It didn't matter that I wasn't ready I couldn't let her be so unhappy. We went to the adoption farm and she picked her new friend. She is once again happy.

 

Every dog and person are different. You will know if / when you need to bring another pup home.

Edited August 9, 2014 by june

[45MPHK9]

Murray would stand at the door when Burke was getting ready to go to work. (Burke was able to take him in, and he did.) Murray was lonely after Bee died. We were hoping to be a one dog family for a while, but we knew that Murray needed a friend.

 

Holly came home one month after Bee left us. We needed her as much as Murray did. She really helped heal all of our broken hearts.

 

[Guest chickenpotpie]

I don't have any words of wisdom but I'm so sorry you're going through this.

[Hubcitypam]

I'm sorry. We are going through the same thing. This is the first time I've ever had a dog grieve so deeply. Barkley did not eat enough to keep a gnat alive for almost two weeks after Poodle left us. Then we got a muttly foster from a trailer home in the country who's Mom was sent to prison for 5 years (sounds like a Johnny Cash song). Barkley started eating everything in sight as soon as Cody came. Cody is taking some work and Barkley gets jealous and pouts but the turnaround was amazing. Some dogs are just crummy as only dogs.

Could you look into fostering in the short term?

[NeylasMom]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I don't have good advice as Zuri handled Neyla's passing very well so I haven't had to deal with this. After I lost her (she was my heart dog), I wasn't ready to open my home to another dog - adopted or foster - for quite some time, and then after I started fostering again it was months before I was ready to adopt. I don't know what I would have done had Zuri struggled with the loss. I guess I would have started fostering sooner so he would have company. That may be an option for you if you don't feel ready to adopt again yet, and it may open your hearts if the right dog comes along. That was what ultimately happened to me with Violet. I would have never picked her if I hadn't fostered her, but she truly brought joy back into our home again.

[Houndtime]

Fuzzy was very quiet and mopey after Paul left. He did eat well, as Fuzzy has never missed a meal.

 

Shine came on Thursday, and so far, he seems more perky, but, Fuzzy is a very quiet dog. There is a very subtle difference that I think only an owner would notice. When we walked Fuzzy, when he was alone, he would always stop and wait if there was another dog coming our way. It was like he was looking for a friend.

 

Shine came after a month.

[a_daerr]

Never been through this, but it's something I worry about all the time. Truman has SA from Henry, even on a temporary basis like if they're separated for vet visits, collar events, etc. Truman mopes, is completely uninterested in walks or play... He literally sits outside at the gate watching cars and waiting for Hen to come home. It's pitiful to watch. When I bring Henry back, Truman gets so ridiculously excited. He jumps on Hen's back and licks his face. Last time, he busted his tail open from wagging it so hard.

 

I can't imagine how I'd deal if we lost Henry. Breaks my heart just thinking about it.

[Guest greyers]

So sorry for your loss and what you are going through. We experienced this with Prudence, our last spooky female after we lost her male companion. She had come so far and was not the same dog we had adopted years earlier but we had no idea how much of that was due to her companion Jimmy James. When we lost him she wouldn't eat, would not nap during the day (always keeping her eyes open), She also seemed to walk with no purpose, hardly sniffing and seeming disinterested. We had planned to get her a companion after we got back from a trip to Ireland if she was still in this "funk", but last minute we had to cancel Ireland due to medical problems. That meant we had 2 weeks off work so I jumped on the plan to get her a companion during our time home. The dog we were looking at had 5 previous homes, was 9 years old and needed a home very soon. Literally the adoption rep brought him over, did a short home visit since they already knew us and within 20 minutes Rego was left in our home. Not 2 minutes after the rep left our home, Rego laid down for a rest and Prudence laid down a few feet from him and took the first "nap" she had in weeks. Her eating changed that same night. The results were almost immediate and that was the best thing we ever did for her.

 

When we lost Prudence last October we contemplated not getting a companion for him right away because life was complex and my mom became terminally ill a few months later. Overall Rego did fairly well on his own but we did notice changes in food interest and a few other things. Back in March when we first brought Madeline home, all those funny things he was doing improved again almost overnight. We have now learned that even the most adjusted dogs seem to do better with another companion after a loss. This will be our plan after all future losses because we can clearly see the difference it makes for them.

[tra708]

Thank you for sharing your experiences. Lola is eating better now, and we took her to dog beach today and she had a blast. I am just going to take a little time and see how she adjusts. I think all the animals in our house are weirded out. Jackie was the matriarch.

I am comforted by other people's stories...like there will be a solution if Lola doesn't come out of her funk. I am totally open to fostering with intent to adopt. It's hard to deal with the emptiness.

THANK YOU....I have gotten a lot of emotional support here. Lola thanks you too!

tracy

[EllenEveBaz]

I'm so sorry about your dear Jackie.

 

Besides the dog beach, any other chances you have to let Lola be with other dogs may help her a little, and give you something to smile about, too.

 

Again,

[mychip1]

I would adopt ASAP. (or foster with intent to adopt to ensure that they get along)....Don't let "guilt" stop you from adopting too soon....you are not replacing your beautiful hound...but simply opening up your home to another.

[spottydog]

Glad Lola is perking up a little. The lack of interest in eating is very distressing. Our Django refused his kibble even with cat food or stinky fishes mixed in when his very elderly lab cross 'sister' passed on and we had to feed raw for quite awhile until he came around. Take your time to decide to foster or adopt. If you think you will be ready very soon, that's great but it is a very emotional time... (I try not to make any important decisions until my head is a little clearer).

[Batmom]

Glad your girl is feeling better.

 

I too wouldn't be in a hurry to foster or adopt for *her*. More than once, when a dog here has died, the remaining dog wasn't interested in others, and it would have added more stress to bring a new one home so quickly.

[Guest sireltonsmom]

So sorry for your loss. It's a sad club we belong to. When Sir Elton went to the bridge we were going to be a one dog family for a while. Mindy was so sad that we adopted a young boy 4 months later. He's a prison trained grey so we were able to take Mindy to visit with him every week til he graduated. She didn't do any of her Diva routine with him so we knew it would be a good match. We just celebrated our one year gotcha anniversary with Beau and we really are glad we got him. We felt the best way to honor our heart dog was to give another grey a loving home.

[JustSnoozing]

Rebel was so miserable when Phoebe died that within a week we took him to meet some hounds at our adoption group and we came home with Dippy. He bounced back as soon as she came to live with us.

 

We had already planned to have another greyhound - but Rebel's distress hurried us somewhat.

[IndyandHollyluv]

I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful Jackie. When I lost Indy, my sweet Holly was very depressed. Although she ate, she spent a solid week just lying in bed. Totally sad and blue. Broke my heart. Holly was almost 11 at the time; she and Indy had been together eight years.

 

I eventually adopted two senior males as companions but it was never quite the same for Holly. Plus, the boys would lay in "her bed" and she was too sweet, gracious, and sensitive to protest. I felt so sad. Not sure if I did the right thing??

 

I agree. Every dog and situation is different. It takes time. Hugs for you and for Lola.

[HoundHeavenAZ]

I'm sorry about your girl.

 

My 9 year old has lost two "siblings" so far and both have been tough for her. The first was the one she was closest to, but she is also a reclusive, quirky sort of hound and not quite as affectionate as the others have been. When the first hound left, Leah mourned with her head under the guest bed for a week, barely eating or interacting with me. She was inconsolable and miserable, so in came Chip. When he left 8 months later, Leah was once again dejected and miserable, so rightawayquick (two days later) we brought home a foster hound and although she never plays much with him, she relies on his company and is a much happier girl with him here. So my plan is to always know where to get a foster hound quickly -- who knows, maybe we'll give them back

 

Best of luck.

 

[3greys2cats]

My heart goes out to you and Lola . Like many others have said, timeframe to adopt again or foster is so individual as the grief process is unique to each person and their surviving Hound. When Sara passed on we were already in a difficult situation here, my husband had taken a job just 2 weeks before in another state and we were dealing with him being gone. Max was already confused about "Daddy" being gone and now Sara had to be PTS after being diagnosed w/Hemangio, an inoperable tumor in her spine. Max would take a snack and bring it to her bed and leave it there, he would not sleep upstairs where Sara used to sleep, he stayed downstairs, waiting, waiting for my Husband and Sara, it was heartbreaking to watch. We tried to Foster w/intent 2 months later, Max had just gotten over surgery for a scratched cornea and was starting to feel better but the female we tried was too young and not cat safe, I cried all day after she left making me realize that we were not ready to welcome a new girl yet. Max handled her loss better than I did, it took over a year for me to find a good match for us, I lost my Mom that same year and my oldest cat, Grief can be so painfully overwhelming. Flower joined us 13 months later and Max liked her instantly and ran with her that first day in the yard, Sara and my Mom sent this perfect girl to us. Give yourself time, you will know when its time to welcome a new friend for Lola.

[tra708]

just an update and a pic....Lola is doing ok. I've been paying her soooo much attention (she looks at me like "what's gotten into you?"), and taking her places. She's still not eating great, but enough to survive just fine. Much thanks again for your posts.

[Guest PiagetsMom]

Glad to hear that Lola's doing better. I think many pups can adjust to the new normal, it just takes some time. to you both!

[Guest beetle_slayer]

My boy Diego is VERY sensitive. After Barbie was diagnosed with osteo a month ago he has begun to step up and start fulfilling the role of the alpha to some degree while not completely taking it from Barbie. I worry as she has had the amp 1 1/2 weeks ago and starts chemo next week. He time is limited. I hope and pray that he will understand and adjust to being an only dog. The 2 aren't exactly 2 peas in a pod but that fit by being opposites. I say all this now and not later. I couldn't adopt another so soon. Fostering would not be a major interest. Maybe he will adjust fine. He has already changed by maturing mentally some. I am so sorry about your lost one. I will most likely be in your position sooner than later. I wish Lola well. Just like us, she is sad and grieving.

[tra708]

Dear Beetle_slayer, I have been following your story on the osteo topic, and I'm sorry you are going through this with Barbie. I hope she continues to feel like herself again. Yeah, it's been difficult around here. Sometimes I think I'm projecting my feelings of loss onto Lola....and maybe she is really okay with it. Anyhow, I am showering her with attention and longer walks and I even got her to play yesterday and this morning! yay. In the meantime, I have adopted a very affectionate kitty named Lulu, and she is adding some sweet energy into the household. Lola definitely likes her.

All the best to you, and thank you again to everyone that sent a group hug.

[kmtgolf1]

Hi - Thought I would weigh in on this topic as we have experienced it this year. In March we let our beautiful Chloe go, she had osteo and had just turned 12. I don't think I've felt a death that deeply in a long time, if ever. Anyway, her mate Clifford (he's 7) was with us as the vet put her to sleep. We definitely noticed that he became withdrawn and just not his self in the weeks and months after. Occasionally he would come out of it, but we always felt maybe he needed another grey. To be honest, I really wonder if my wife and I were the ones that needed another one.

 

Well fast forward to today. Yesterday we brought our beautiful new girl, Sophie, home. She is 3 1/2 and a bundle of energy and joy. Day 1, Clifford seemed uninterested. Today, a little more interested. Still too early to know if it is a good thing for him. I think it will be. I still can cry easily at the thought of my sweet Chloe, but beginning again with a new girl is a good feeling. Life does go on.

 

Some people think we are crazy to commit to a new dog all over again, but we are dog people, we are greyhound people, and life would be a little less sweet without them. These dogs are so easy to love.

 

Whatever your decision, it will be right for you. Peace.

[tra708]

I'm glad you decided to get another. I hope it will work out well for you and Clifford!

I am having a hard time with Jackie's loss. I too can cry at the drop of a hat, at any time I think of her, and I have a hard time finding joy

in anything. The new cat has helped. Her personality is great, and she's very affectionate. She's also given the other animals something

to be interested in. They like her.

Anyhow, today I am doing my first day as a volunteer for the new adoption group here! Picking up dogs, bringing them to a meet n greet,

and staying with them all day. Looking forward to it, and getting some hands-on greyhound time!

 

I hope Sophie and Clifford become fast friends at your house!!