Suspected Separation Anxiety, Coping As An Owner

[Guest rarmstrong]

Hello! My name is Rachel. I'm 23 years old, and I recently adopted a retired racer. I adopted him last Sunday (1/12) His name is Rep (short for LK's Reputable) and he's 4 years old. He is a super adorable red color with a brown ears, and a curly tail. He is super friendly, and loves to lean on any person who strokes his neck. I've been taking him to the pet store quite frequently the past week, and so many people have complimented his handsome face and sweet disposition. When I'm home, he is an absolute joy. He is a quick learner and eager to please. Overall, I'm really quite pleased with the new friend I have acquired.

 

The one thing that is eating me alive is that I believe that he might have developed some separation anxiety while being fostered and with huge transition into a home, it has caused a spike in his anxiety. Per his foster home, when he originally came to them he was crated upwards of 11 hours a day and was completely fine with it. Then, they were on vacation from work where he was barely crated at all. She reported that when she was out, he would have accidents (he would generally defecate in his crate) and had escaped from the crate. They put ziplines on there, and that kept him in the crate but he was still having accidents. When he came to my home, I had no time really to establish a routine. I had to go to work the next morning for a meeting-leaving him alone in his crate for three hours, and came back to him still in his crate but he had completely demolished the dog bed. I had to leave again in the afternoon for a short session with a client (gone for maybe 2 1/2 hours), and I found that he had gotten out of his crate and had an accident. The next day, I went to work and put him in the crate. I tried to secure the crate with a lock and he injured himself trying to get out, had an accident, and ripped up a blanket while I was gone. I was absolutely distraught. At that point, I decided to no longer crate since it was obvious that he was going above and beyond to get out of his crate. I can replace my furniture, blankets, clean up my floor but I cannot in good conscience leave him in there knowing he is willing to hurt himself to get out of his crate.

 

After that episode, I have become overcome with guilt at my naivety and lack of preparedness in adopting Rep. When I heard about him, I did not take into account what all of his behaviors in his foster home meant, as well as the poor transition I provided him when he came to my home. I went into hyper fix it mode, and have been trying to force alone training, completely ignoring him and started to elicit frustrated and overwhelming feelings that I generally do not feel. I work as an applied behavioral analysis direct line therapist with children on the autism spectrum. I have kids who scratch, bite, headbang, throw absolute tantrums in front of me every day of the week. In my job, I am forced to be patient, empathetic, firm, just durable in every sense of the word. I have a client who will bang his head against a wall, or table countertop out of frustration and per his behavior plan, I do not react verbally or with my body language. But with my own pet, I am completely flustered and feeling just plain mean. I wanted him to just leave me alone and be independent so badly and was becoming so frustrated that he wouldn't.

 

I realize that underlying all of this is guilt that I did not prepare myself better for his anxiety and a proper transition into my home. Also, I did not take into account other factors such as in his foster home there were two other dogs and in my home it is just me and a significantly smaller space. This wonderful sweet animal came into my home to someone so ill prepared and he is acting out and it is all my fault.

 

I have been taking the steps to do things better. We have been consistently waking up around 5:45 (regardless of the time I have to go into work). I have increased the amount of times/duration that I walk up. At minimum, we will walk in the morning for 45 minutes-1 hr. Anytime I leave, I will walk him for a similar amount of time. I remain neutral when I come home and only respond when he is calm. I'm freezing kongs to keep him occupied in my absence. Today, we went to the vet and he suggested alprazolam (0.5mg/12 hours. At least 2 hours prior to leaving) to aid in his transition. I'm working on slowly desensitizing opening and closing the door, my keys, and putting on my coat. I've slowed down and shorted the alone training to more manageable times for him instead of forcing to subside my own personal feelings. I'm hoping that the slow behavioral interventions, consistent schedule, and alprazolam will aide in his transition. Today was the first day I tried it. I cannot speak for any whining or barking in my absence, but when I came home today he did not have any accidents and my apartment (he has access to the living room and kitchen now, no crate or gate at this point) was just as I left it. No destructive behavior. He was just as excited when I came home, but laid down on the couch and at that point I approached him and pet him. Again, it may be my naivety or a correlation not causation for why he was not destructive, but it made me feel better that he was not so frantic that he felt the need to destroy something or eliminate.

 

I realize I have pretty much wrote a dissertation, but I really feel like I need somewhere to let all of this go. I'm lucky enough to have a boyfriend who has been so wonderful this past week but I do not want to burden him with all of this, as I am particularly emotional and anxious now. I hope some of you can provide any insight into this process I have undertaken, what has worked for you (behaviorally, medication wise, etc), and how you have coped.

 

[juliemac]

Sounds like Rep is a lucky pup for having found someone like you! You may not feel that you prepared well for Rep's addition to your home, but you've certainly adapted well and picked up a lot of great tricks and techniques to make up for that!! With the exception of adding a television or radio as background noise while you're gone, and "possibly" including a muzzle, I think you've covered all of the things that I normally include in my transition period.

 

Know that it may take some time for Rep to understand the rules of your home, but your patience (and humor) through all of that will work well for you both.

 

Keep us updated on how things progress ... I'm guessing you've already read that this could take awhile for Rep to get the hang of it, and once he does, you're going to LOVE watching him continue to come out of his shell!

[msjpk]

Continue what you are doing, you are doing greyt!!! Alone training is very successful.

Is there a trusted neighbor who can check on him or take him for a walk while you are at work?

Leave a radio on when you leave. Don't make it a big production. Say good bye see u later.

Also, you might want to try Rescue Remedy which is sold in Vitamin shops. But if you pupper continues to do well, you probably don't need it.

Good luck and keep us posted.

[silverfish]

Sounds like you are on the right track. Don't be tempted to 'force' alone training, but just work through it patiently and you will get great results. You'll almost certainly end up with an extremely devoted dog, too, because they looooove people who take the time to help them.

 

But, wow .. a foster home crated him for up to 11 hours?? No wonder he's averse to his crate and kind of got used to having 'accidents' in there. Poor Rep. As I was reading, I was thinking that he's probably developed an aversion to the crate, or a fear of it, so I'm glad to read that he is not now crated and is doing better.

Don't feel bad for not being able to transfer your knowledge of children with autism to your new dog. Yes, as a behavioural consultant, you might expect to use your skills with him, but the behaviour of dogs can be quite different to the behaviour of people, because we think in different ways. It's easy to get confused on that because they can appear to do many things for similar reasons but often this is just an illusion and the motivations are quite different. If you haven't already done so, I'd recommend reading about that - 'The Other End of the Leash' by Patricia McConnell is a good place to start.

Your behaviourist skills will definitely come in handy as you work through the problems with Rep, especially your ability to mask your non-verbal signals. Dogs are superb at picking up on those! I bet once you truly understand the mind of a dog, it'll be a breeze.

[Guest DogNewbie]

11 hours! Yikes! Poor guy! I think Wiley would have gone nuts. Rep is lucky to have you as a mom! Congrats on your new pup!

[Guest rarmstrong]

I leave the music on, and the TV for a bit. I don't have cable and use Apple TV that shuts off when you haven't been interactive with it for a certain amount of time. I try to put on a long movie, so that the peak of his anxiety (all the books say 30 minutes after leaving) is covered. The music is always on.

 

He is doing better (relatively speaking) having access to most of my apartment. He isn't being destructive, but he is still having accidents. I'm starting to get concerned that he will begin to learn that he can use the bathroom in my apartment. When I'm home, he doesn't have accidents, however, I usually take him every couple of hours. Behaviorally speaking he is on a fixed schedule (so he is schedule trained), and it is unclear to know if he is learning how to indicate that he has to go. I try to catch it because he begins to pace and won't lay down if he has to go. This morning, he peed on the floor, however it was more so my fault. After waking up, I feed him instead of taking him out first, and the night before forgot to restrict his water consumption 30 minutes prior to going to bed. He went out before bed, but had access to water closer to actually going to bed. I was so exhausted from working (I had three sessions yesterday, started at 5:45am with Rep and was working from 9am-5:30pm) that my brain was frazzled last night and this morning. So much to remember, and it doesn't help to be inconsistent. I'm hoping that my errors are why he had an accident while I was home this morning, not because he feels like he is allowed to use the bathroom inside.

 

On a positive note, I talked to my landlord (who lives right above me) and said that he freaks out right around when I leave but settles down and I can't hear him pacing or being destructive. So, I know that he is calming down. I'm hoping that he will start calming down sooner. I was unable to implement alone training due to my work schedule yesterday, and today. But, I am limiting my attention when I'm home and after being ignored for a bit, he will lay down and stop following me around.

 

Another issue I'm running into, it's getting quite cold in the mornings. So much so that he doesn't want to go out for a walk. I had to do a lot of coaxing to get him out of the door this morning to even go out. The other morning I took him for a 1 hr 10 minute walk, and by the time we got back my hands had started to go numb I understand that a morning walk is important, but it may not be safe to have him and myself out there for that long (it is going to be around 12 degrees F, and reports said it felt more like 5 which I completely agree. The wind is a killer). Do you have an suggestions for things to do inside that will get him thinking/more fatigued so that he will feel more inclined to nap while I'm gone? I was thinking of doing some training exercises (target, simple commands) to at least get him thinking and moving.

 

Thanks for the input and support!

 

 

 

[Guest rarmstrong]

Sounds like Rep is a lucky pup for having found someone like you! You may not feel that you prepared well for Rep's addition to your home, but you've certainly adapted well and picked up a lot of great tricks and techniques to make up for that!! With the exception of adding a television or radio as background noise while you're gone, and "possibly" including a muzzle, I think you've covered all of the things that I normally include in my transition period.

 

Know that it may take some time for Rep to understand the rules of your home, but your patience (and humor) through all of that will work well for you both.

 

Keep us updated on how things progress ... I'm guessing you've already read that this could take awhile for Rep to get the hang of it, and once he does, you're going to LOVE watching him continue to come out of his shell!

Thanks. I certainly don't feel like he's lucky to have me. But, I'll keep trying. I'll be sure to update on his progress. We'll figure it out somehow

[Batmom]

Training exercises are a great substitute for a walk!

 

Sometimes it can help to time things so you have a good walk in the a.m. (brisk 30-45 minutes), then home for 15-45 minutes, then a quick 10-minute potty walk before you leave for work/school/whatever. You may get more potty out of him that way, at least until he settles in.

 

May also want to consider how much he is being fed and when. Sometimes a group/foster home will feed a dog extra if they're on the skinny side coming from the track. But if you keep feeding that amount, it may make for extra (and not entirely predictable) poops. For most males on most dry foods, 1.5 - 2.0 cups twice a day (3-4 cups total per day) is enough.

 

You're doing a great job.

[Guest rarmstrong]

Training exercises are a great substitute for a walk!

 

Sometimes it can help to time things so you have a good walk in the a.m. (brisk 30-45 minutes), then home for 15-45 minutes, then a quick 10-minute potty walk before you leave for work/school/whatever. You may get more potty out of him that way, at least until he settles in.

 

May also want to consider how much he is being fed and when. Sometimes a group/foster home will feed a dog extra if they're on the skinny side coming from the track. But if you keep feeding that amount, it may make for extra (and not entirely predictable) poops. For most males on most dry foods, 1.5 - 2.0 cups twice a day (3-4 cups total per day) is enough.

 

You're doing a great job.

I'll be sure to test out the timing. I usually would give about 30 minute chill time and then leave. The potty break should help out.

 

I'm feeding him 2 cups twice a day. He's a bit on the skinny side, and that's they were feeding him. Once he fills out a bit, I'll probably put it down to 1.5

 

Thanks for the input and the support