Keeping Affection To A Minimum

[Guest kiyahound]

Our new greyhound has become very clingy. We made the mistake of showering her with attention and letting her sleep in our bed. Now I think it may be turning into SA. She whines a lot when we leave her in the crate, even when we are in a different room. It makes me sad because I want to pet her all the time if she whines. But I know that makes it worse. How should we go about treating her? We have only had her for 4 days. We live in a small apartment also, so it's hard to keep our distance. I have read in a few books that you are supposed to ignore them and show "tough love". Practically what does this look like? Even now I am in my bedroom with the baby gate up, and she is in the family room whining because she can't get to me. It's a bit stressful because starting next week we really need to get her on a schedule where she can be in her crate while we are at work. Any ideas, stories, or suggestions? Thanks!!

[TheFullHouse]

Honestly I have never limited my dogs access to myself or the other members of the family. I have beds throughout the house. Right now she's insecure because her world has been turned upside down so some whining is normal. I personally taught my hound the "go lay down" command for times when they are in my way. Right now all 8 of mine are in my bedroom with me while I watch some tv. Two are on my bed.

[Acadianarose]

I never withheld affection from my dogs and I don't know that doing so would make it any easier for them to be alone.

[Guest kiyahound]

 

I never withheld affection from my dogs and I don't know that doing so would make it any easier for them to be alone.

 

that's how i feel...i read it in retired racing greyhounds for dummies. it said things like try and ignore them if they beg for attention or follow you around the house. it's confusing though because I want to pet her and show affection!!!

Edited January 5, 2014 by kiyahound

[Guest IrskasMom]

What Judy said . I have my Morty now for over 8 Years and he still follows me around every Step.

4 Days is really no Time for her to be on your Schedule . As Judy said , her World has turned upside down and she will be very clingy for quiet some Time .

[Batmom]

If you're someplace in the apartment and she can't see you, it's normal for her to whine. She wants to know where you are, what you're doing, what those noises you're making mean. That's not SA, just 1. getting used to home life, and 2. hound-ness. I wouldn't withhold affection. The books that advise that are ... misguided.

[Guest kiyahound]

thanks for the input everyone.

 

how will she be okay for 6 hours when we have to crate her?? what if she is whining the entire time? Or suffering from anxiety?

[krissn333]

Work on those things with her now but leave for shorter periods.

 

Give her a Kong filled with her kibble and sealed off with greek yogurt or peanut butter. Freeze this concoction and when you are leaving, put her in her kennel and give her that.

 

I could not crate my dogs if I was home, they would have a fit. If you need to keep an eye on her while you are home, keeping her leashed and with you everywhere you go is a good option. Just loop her leash around your waist or through a belt loop.

 

Let her be with you when you are home, but, then kennel her and give her her Kong when you leave. Start now and go somewhere for an hour. Then try leaving for a couple of hours.

 

I set up a webcam in my living room so I could check in on them when I'm at work. That helped me relax about leaving them too.

I have worked on this with Clarice with much success too: http://www.clickertraining.com/node/3308

 

PS Hot dogs cut into tiny pieces are a great reward for this kind of training. We did one session during which I used up 3 hot dogs. She reliably does "go to your place" now.

[grey14me]

Why does she have to be crated at all?

[Guest kiyahound]

Why does she have to be crated at all?

I was wondering if we need to crate her. the adoption agency said we needed to at least for the first month or so until we can trust her. she has gotten in to a few things and is very curious about the kitchen counter. we correct any misbehaving when we are home but we both work. So for about 5-6 hours she would be in a crate until one of us gets home from work. if i had my choice and new for certain that she wouldnt tear anything up i wouldn't crate. but i don't want to take the chance.... i'm actually surprised i thought greys loved crates, she doesn't seem to like hers. maybe it's just because she's the only dog?

and we might have freaked her out by not working up to longer crate hours. but it was kind of an emergency. i was very, very sick this morning and my husband had to drive me to the clinic. we had to crate her. i threw a kong in her crate with some frozen yogurt. she was in there for about 2 hours. when we came back we could hear her whining from the hall way outside our apartment door.

 

but tomorrow my husband has some time to work with her....doing increments of 5 minutes or so, leaving then coming back. hopefully this will help...

[Tam234]

I only crate Finn at night and when we are out of the house. I would honestly love to have him in the bedroom with me, but my husband has allergy symptoms if our animals are in the bedroom - he is fine with them in the rest of the house, though. But I don't feel bad as our little dog sleeps in the kitchen in a crate very close to Finn's, and the two of them are good company for each other. I come home for an hour every day at lunchtime as I am fortunate enough to work only a few blocks from home, and only work 4 days a week.

 

The first week he would whine and then escalate to barking at times during the night. Our adoption group rep recommended that I correct him by calling our for him to "Cut it out" or "Knock it off" and if he started up again to go up to him with a squirt bottle and give him a squirt in the face. I HATED doing that, but it worked and I only had to do it a couple of times. He just had to get used to sleeping in his crate in our kitchen.

 

However, when we are home our dogs are with us. We let them follow us into whatever room we are in (except the bedroom), and have dog beds for them. My little dog is 15 and I don't let him wander around unsupervised, as he sometimes has accidents. So if I am in the kitchen cooking or working, I will shut the gate so they stay out there with me. But Finn likes to be with me and doesn't wander anyway. I try to be available for lots of pets for him - I find that if I give him lots of attention then he is content to lay and watch me cook or work without whining.

 

Good luck figuring out what works with your grey. The transition can be trying - but once she feels safe and comfortable she will be less "needy" and more relaxed.

Edited January 6, 2014 by Tam234

[vjgrey]

I was wondering if we need to crate her. the adoption agency said we needed to at least for the first month or so until we can trust her. she has gotten in to a few things and is very curious about the kitchen counter. we correct any misbehaving when we are home but we both work. So for about 5-6 hours she would be in a crate until one of us gets home from work. if i had my choice and new for certain that she wouldnt tear anything up i wouldn't crate. but i don't want to take the chance.... i'm actually surprised i thought greys loved crates, she doesn't seem to like hers. maybe it's just because she's the only dog?

and we might have freaked her out by not working up to longer crate hours. but it was kind of an emergency. i was very, very sick this morning and my husband had to drive me to the clinic. we had to crate her. i threw a kong in her crate with some frozen yogurt. she was in there for about 2 hours. when we came back we could hear her whining from the hall way outside our apartment door.

 

but tomorrow my husband has some time to work with her....doing increments of 5 minutes or so, leaving then coming back. hopefully this will help...

 

You might experiment with not crating. Get a baby gate and block her into a smaller, dog-proofed area, like a bedroom. Muzzle her if you're worried she'll chew on things and put a webcam (or a laptop with Skype) on her if you have one, so you can see what she's doing. Two of my three hounds were absolute DISASTERS in crates. Both have always been 100% perfect when baby gated into our bedroom and office area.

 

None of my dogs would do well if crated/baby gated away from us while we're home, though. And I agree with some of the previous posters - the "withhold affection" books are nonsense.

[greysmom]

Do a search here for "alone training." You need to begin this NOW so you can feel confident about leaving her next week.

 

Otherwise, you've gotten some good advice re: attention and affection.

[krissn333]

Also, if you don't already, leave the TV or a radio on for her, loud enough that you can't hear other people in adjacent apartments. It's probable that she is resting but hears foot traffic in the hallway or noise from the apartments above or below and that is waking her up.

If you can gate her in a room where theres nothing she can get into (or gate her OUT of the kitchen if that's the only area of concern), try it for an hour or so and see if she does better that way.

 

My kids are gated in the living room when I am not home and they do fine.

[Guest mertz]

We relied a lot on the adoption group with our first greyhound who had terrible separation anxiety. We called and emailed for advice and support. We learned how to crate her and leave without it being a big deal - I think we had to learn as much as she did. So, my husband, myself and our greyhound all learned how to share a house with lots of love and without the damage.

 

There is great info on line, also.

 

With our second greyhound we set a baby gate against the bedroom door when we're gone - don't even hook it - and that's enough. She and our other little dog are comfortable with that. When we're home our greyhound often follows us around and she's so funny and loving that we give her lots of affection - and we all love it! We have learned that is a difference in healthy affection and the kind of "feeling sorry for you" affection that will just make your dog more nervous and upset.

 

Best of luck!

[Guest carriej]

I have not read all of the replies, but our greyhound rescue group (which is run by and was founded by a canine behaviour therapist who specializes in greyhounds) recommends to limit attention for the first month or so, to help the dog build confidence and independence in it's new environment - especially if its going to be an only grey.

 

Also to ignore all attempts if the dog asks for attention, like turning away when jumping up, whining at night, etc.

[JJNg]

I wouldn't withhold affection, but try to give her attention when she is calm and quiet, not as a response to her whining and acting anxious. It's easy to take things for granted and almost forget the dog is there when she's being good, but be prompted to give her attention when she is whining, or otherwise demanding attention. You want to do the opposite and give her attention to reward the behaviors you want.

 

Do you use the crate for anything besides when you leave? Are you feeding meals in her crate, and using it for short periods of down time during the day when you're home? You can create a good association with the crate by making it part of her daily routine, and feeding all meals in it. If the only time she is ever crated is when she's left alone, she'll develop a negative association with it.

[KickReturn]

Wow, 4 days. Patience please.

 

For protecting your home a muzzle may be better than a crate. Some dogs can never be crated. If you show her, your dog may quickly learn what is off limits and become trustworthy.

 

Don't try to keep your Grey away from you, it is likely not possible. She will likely be less needy as she gains confidence over the next several months/years. Make sure you have a soft bed in every room where you spend time. That way she can be comfortable. Expect her to always be with you when you are home. (In my opinion she should be on a bed beside yours - not in your bed with you.)

 

After two years I have never been in a room without my Grey when I am home. Velcro dogs are the best. Only an extreme velcro dog will do this with zero training:

 

 

Have fun and enjoy the ride.

Edited January 6, 2014 by KickReturn

[Jackandgrey]

Just a reminder that greys may love their kennel at the track but that is so different than being in a crate alone wiith no one around or no other dogs around in a home. Crating May be necessary for some for a variety of reasons but it is not necessarily translatable from their situation at the track. As others have said, try a muzzle or if crating is necessary you need to make it a positive experience. Do not withhold affection but don't reward whining with attention. And remember 4 days is so very early in her adjustment. Good for you for looking for guidance though!

[Guest kiyahound]

thank you everyone!!! I really appreciate it! we are first time grey owners and don't wanna do anything to harm or frighten her. shes been SO good though. just have to work on a few things.

[Guest jetska]

there's a lot of people who don't crate on this forum - but all new dogs at my place are either in the yard outside or crated in the house when I am at work until I can trust them to 1. Not chew things and 2. Not toilet in the house....

 

when I decided to keep Mouse she was crated inside through the day for the first couple of months but now she is OK free in the house.... she still sleeps in her crate at night and goes in her crate if I am taking a dog out but leaving her at home. I can send her to her crate if she is having one of her manic episodes and to keep her out of the way of tradies etc. Being able to crate your dog is really useful, especially if they injure themselves and need to be immobile etc.

 

The only reason I don't like muzzling all day is that it only affects chewing, not toiletting, and for dogs that like to preen, it can drive them a bit nuts not being able to.

[robinw]

Witholding attention just seems weird to me. Everything is so new. Be patient.

[sarabz]

We crated the first couple of weeks, then allowed the run of the bedroom, then of the apartment. Turns out Bella got in much less mischief when she had the run of the apartment than the other options.

 

We still have her crate and she chooses it over other places in the house several times a day. We do put her in at night with the door shut as otherwise she is on our bed, sleep startles and wakes us up - we all sleep much better when she is crated.

 

As others have said, time and patience. Work on the gradual alone training but I personally don't understand withholding affection. Not rewarding bad behavior, sure, but not withholding positive affection.

 

After almost 4 years, Bella typically will be wherever DH and I are, especially if we are in the same room. She doesn't need to be on top of us and will let us know if she wants pats and loves, but often it seems that she just wants to be near her people. She is a very confident, secure pup who only had minor SA when we first adopted her, however.

 

Best wishes!!

[Guest PipDG]

If you don't want to ignore her all the time then wait until she is calm then call her to you and lavish her with all the affection you like! And relax - you will all be fine together!

[Guest kiyahound]

thank you so much!! reading all of these posts helps SO much!