New Greyhound Loves The Wife, But Quickly Regressing With Me

[Guest lynne893]

Just want to send encouragement and praise to you and your wife for adopting a greyhound!

 

He'll come around!

[GeorgeofNE]

Actually, I'll offer something a little different. My husband ignores the dogs and it seems to make them *want* to get his attention

 

I am the main provider and I am who plays with the dogs. With one in particular I was constantly trying to get her to come to me or let me hug her or love on her. My husband ignored her and he is who she goes to . It was over time and was not an immediate response but it was something I began to notice. So, maybe not try so much. Give him time to get used to everyone. You and he both will develop your own relationship.

 

I agree 100%. First, you can't force a dog to love you. Some dogs seem to favor men, some dogs seem to favor women, and some dogs are equal opportunity.

 

Ever notice if you have someone who doesn't like cats visit, it's usually the first person your cats approach? It's because that person isn't looking at the cat and cooing over it and wanting it.

 

Perhaps your dog finds your overtures overwhelming? I would back off and let him settle into his routine. Truthfully, he may ALWAYS favor your wife. Dogs are individuals. My last dog would have (literally) died for me. He would have walked through fire if I asked him to. My Greyhound? Not so much. He's happy to see me when I come home, and he'll whine if I leave him with someone, but if he had a choice between me and a Milk Bone? No question which one he'd pick. I'm OK with it. George is all about George, and I can appreciate him for who he is. My quite companion.

[Guest abbattoir]

Thanks for the additional replies and encouragement everyone.

 

I've started to hand feed his meal and to give more treats even for the smallest things. Ill keep doig this and we will see what happens over the next few months.

[Guest Scouts_mom]

I have one thing to add. You say your relationship started to improve and then seemed to regress. It may be that one time when you were with him, something happened to startle/scare him and he now associates being scared with being with you. It may have been something as simple as a branch moving or a car backfiring in the distance--you may not have even noticed it.

 

As others have said it will just take time and patience. Give him his meals and treats and he will come to decide that you are a good Daddy.

 

My big Henry was terrified of men when I got him. Now he loves the men he sees regularly but is still a little nervous with new men, especially if they are big, loud or smell strange (ie smoke).

[Guest amyb]

Food. Everytime you walk into a room he's in, offer a small cookie with some peanut butter on it. Make it something that just you give him and

not your wife so he will completely identify you with something special whenever he sees you. Potter is a super sweet dog, but not overly affectionate.

When he got sick last week I had to crush up pills and put them in peanut butter to get him to take them. After about 2 doses he

started following me around the house anytime I would stand up which he *never* does!

[Guest chickenpotpie]

Food. Everytime you walk into a room he's in, offer a small cookie with some peanut butter on it. Make it something that just you give him and

not your wife so he will completely identify you with something special whenever he sees you. Potter is a super sweet dog, but not overly affectionate.

When he got sick last week I had to crush up pills and put them in peanut butter to get him to take them. After about 2 doses he

started following me around the house anytime I would stand up which he *never* does!

According to Lucky, Everything tastes better with peanut butter

[JohnF]

Try sending a Calming Signal to your dog before he thinks about quitting the room. 'Lick your lips, YAWN, and look away'

More info: http://diamondsintheruff.com/calmingsignals.html

 

He should then get the idea that you're not acting in a way that needs distance from.

Also don't threaten to physically block his only exit from a room (so he doesn't need to go directly past you)

[philospher77]

I learned to do calming signals with Katie pretty fast. Funny enough, I was playing tug with Pixie and did a yawn in her direction (Pixie is a somewhat soft dog, so I was trying to reassure her that everything was ok). Bless her little heart, she promptly spat out the tug toy and sat down with her little tail wagging. Guess she thought I was getting too stressed out and wanted to reassure me that everything was ok!

[Guest abbattoir]

Well I thought I'd post an update to our saga.

 

I took some of the advice posted here and started feeding his meals out of my hand, which he had absolutely no problem coming around for (he's VERY food motivated). I also took him for several walks just the 2 of us, which also seemed to build some trust.

 

After a week or so of doing that he started to come around. Since we had got him, I was lucky if he even acknowledged when I got home. After a week of starting to feed him out of my hand and really letting him interact with me on his turns, I got my first greeting at the door when I got home from work! It was a quick "Oh, it's you?" but still more than I've ever gotten. Now he greets me every time, even if my wife is home and they're relaxing, he'll get up to come say hi.

 

He has also started seeking me out for attention and petting and also tries to corral me to go with him and my wife on their morning walk. I'll be shaving or whatever in the morning and he'll come barging into the bathroom and try to push me out of the bathroom to come with them. He does this with my wife it its just me and him going. Seems he really is starting to like "family walk" time.

 

Him and the cats also seem to be coming to an understanding with one another. The cats are back to sleeping on our bed at night while he sleeps on the floor next to the bed, and everyone seems to be at ease (unless he comes into the kitchen when the cats are waiting on their dinner, then they chase him out! he quickly learned to stay away from the kitchen when the cats are in there meowing.)

 

Not long after my last post, we did accidentally discover that he is deathly afraid of house flies! Bees, wasps, mosquitos, etc he could care less about. But a house fly and he will run, try to hide, and completely shut down. I can't help but think that maybe after some initial progress with him and I, that maybe there was a fly experience when he was on a walk with me or something, that I completely didn't even notice or recognize that made him associated flies with me? Or maybe not. Either way, definitely one of is quirks. I think its funny that the loud giant trash truck on our walks won't phase him, but a little fly will scare the heck out of him. Go figure.

 

Anyways, things are back on track and looking up for us. Thanks again for all of the help, tips, and encouragement.

[kamsmom]

Glad that things are going so well. He will continually come out of his shell and show more and more personality as time goes on.

 

The housefly thing, well, there are several dogs that are afraid of flies. I don't get it but it's just one of those "things". If you have some melatonin it can help him calm down if you are having a big fly problem.

[Batmom]

Glad things are going so well. Good job, you!

[Guest RMarie]

Yay! So glad you guys are bonding!

 

About the house flies...it is a quirk. Sometimes our boy chases them around and tries to eat them, other times he flees to the safety of our bedroom (though he did chase one up there once before).

[Guest Marsroving]

Great outcome! Keep bonding and it will only get better. Mars was more drawn to me at first and it hurt my partner Jasmines feelings a bit. I pointed out that I was the one who walked and fed him so of course he came to me more often. Now we split feeding and walks between the two of us and Mars has been showing her some major love lately.

[philospher77]

Good to hear that he is coming around. As to the fly thing.... those things HURT when they bite! Or at least some of the big horseflies do. And they tend to go after the tips of dog's ears and their bellies. So it is quite possible that your dog is reasonably paranoid about flies, especially if he's been bitten before.