Greetings

[Guest jennis]

Does anyone have any tips on greeting your dog on your return. We have had Joy for 6 months now after she retired from racing when she reached 5. Shes a lovely girl, very sensitive, a bit of a velcro dog with me, nearly housebroken. She does have seperation anxiety when we leave her at home, shes fine being left in the car or with dog sitters. At home we have been giving her Calmex and leaving her with a radio and clothing. When I return she gives me a big excited greeting being a bendy dog and pushing against me. From reading I understand the theory of ignoring them until they calm down but she doesnt, just gets worse, starts jumping up and is really in your face impossible to ignore. I give her long slow strokes along her body to calm her which she does in a couple of minutes. Question is am I making a problem for the future, what do other people do?

[Guest Greyt_dog_lover]

Ignore her until she calms down. She will eventually. You could also take her to obedience classes and learn a few basic commands. Once she has "sit" learned, then whenever you come home, make her sit and that will help to teach her self control. Yes greyhounds sit.

[OwnedBySummer]

I have always made a fuss over my dogs when I return. They're happy, I'm happy, we're all happy and we enjoy it. But no jumping is ever allowed and they've all learned. I'm curious, though, why she's not yet fully housetrained? Not UTI or other weird infection? I'm wondering if, maybe possibly, the exuberance is a desperate desire to be let out to go pee?

[Guest jennis]

We have been to training classes basic and advanced she got the rosette for Top Dog in both classes. So proud of her. Have enrolled for agility in June. As for being clean she will go for weeks no accidents and I'm just thinking we have cracked it and then oh no. For example last accident 11th February it was through the night then left her with friends yesterday and she wee'd on her duvet !!! which I had washed the week before, think she was scent marking. She only starts jumping if I ignore her when I return I think she trying to be near my face she seems to like eye contact.

[Feisty49]

Other than a jumping dog, I've never understood the reasoning behind ignoring a dog when returning home. She's happy to see you. You're happy to see her. I want to acknowledge my happy girl, her waggin' tail and grin on her face by letting her know I'm just as glad to see her. I fuss over her. I pet her. I give her kisses. I ask her how her alone time was Within 30 seconds, though, we're out the door for a pee if I've been gone a while.

 

Annie has never been a jumper -- ever. Annie is a very laid back dog who expresses her happiness at my return in a calm manner. She doesn't wiggle or go nuts turning circles. She's actually so calm that I encourage her by my voice and actions to get more excited.

 

I see that you say she's not jumping unless you ignore her. My advice is don't ignore her. Love her up and take her out for a pee if it's been a while.

 

I have no advice or reason why she would pee in the house every couple of months. Sorry.

[Guest jennis]

I'm so pleased it's ok to stoke her straight away, it seemed mean to ignore her when she so pleased to see me.

[krissy]

I will give Summit attention now when I return home. But we have had him long enough to know that SA is not an issue. I would never make a fuss over a new dog, especially one that is showing signs of SA. The point about not making a fuss is to show a dog that your absence is nothing exciting or stressful. If you make a huge fuss then a dog who has, or is prone to, SA thinks that you also think being gone has been a big deal. Your return from an absence should be the most boring thing ever. Once you've had a dog for awhile and s/he doesn't seem to care then sure, you can greet the dog... I still wouldn't make it a big deal. Summit meets me at the door and I say "Hi big man, how are you?", give him a pat on the head and a thump or two on the chest. I put my stuff down and go open Kili's crate. I might say hi to her but I don't pet her or give her affection yet. Then I take both dogs out into the backyard, let them do their business and THEN we play and have a party.

[JohnF]

My last one, Angel, used to literally turn upside down on my feet with tail wagging wide franticaly and grin as wide as a crocodile if I'd been away for a while! As long as it's not jumping up and it doesn't upset any other dogs - just enjoy this special gift!

 

Peggy is more reserved, but i get exaggerated tail wags (a huge big deal for her)

 

Dogs greet each other on return and so they can their humans. This is not a wolf pack - they are domesticated.

[Feisty49]

I will give Summit attention now when I return home. But we have had him long enough to know that SA is not an issue. I would never make a fuss over a new dog, especially one that is showing signs of SA. The point about not making a fuss is to show a dog that your absence is nothing exciting or stressful. If you make a huge fuss then a dog who has, or is prone to, SA thinks that you also think being gone has been a big deal. Your return from an absence should be the most boring thing ever. Once you've had a dog for awhile and s/he doesn't seem to care then sure, you can greet the dog... I still wouldn't make it a big deal. Summit meets me at the door and I say "Hi big man, how are you?", give him a pat on the head and a thump or two on the chest. I put my stuff down and go open Kili's crate. I might say hi to her but I don't pet her or give her affection yet. Then I take both dogs out into the backyard, let them do their business and THEN we play and have a party.

 

 

I know this is the reason given for ignoring upon return, but twisting the reasoning around, my mind thinks it's a good thing to let the dog know, SA or not, that I'm home and it's a good thing. I left. I came home and you're still #1 in my book. I don't buy that a dog has the reasoning powers to think that my greeting means I think my being gone is a big deal.

 

I'm so pleased it's ok to stoke her straight away, it seemed mean to ignore her when she so pleased to see me.

 

And ya know what? I've taken to saying, "Good-bye. I'll be back soon," when I leave. That is a super big no-no in the dog world. Annie knows long before I leave that I'm going out, without me having said any trigger words, and starts her "Am I going with you?" activity. When I say "good-bye," she mournfully watches me out the window and then runs upstairs to sleep in her bed in my bedroom.

Edited April 26, 2013 by Feisty49

[greysmom]

I don't think it's wrong to say "Hello" when you come home or "Goodbye" when you leave! We have a whole routine we do - it's calm and low-key, but the dogs know we're going and that they're going to get a treat and it's time to calm down.

 

Coming home is different as mine are all barking fools! Seriously, out-of-control, running around like idiots, BARKING. All four of them. We've taken to carrying a squirt bottle with us when we leave so we can stop the behavior as soon as we come in the door (we also use the squirt bottle if one of us is home and someone comes in). This has calmed them down a lot. But we do also say "Hello" after they are calm, and right out to potty.

 

Lilly (the puppy) has begun a ritual where she has to give whoever comes home a doggy "hug" by standing up on her hind legs and putting her front legs on your shoulders. {{{sigh}}} Visitors to our house don't stand a chance!

[OwnedBySummer]

 

... I've taken to saying, "Good-bye. I'll be back soon," when I leave. That is a super big no-no in the dog world.

Really? I've always done this, with all my dogs. "Soon" is also sometimes "later", if it's going to be a longer excursion. I think some of those "dog world" people over-think things or something.

 

I agree, an SA dog probably has to be treated differently. Never had one so I've never had to learn about it. But a "normal" dog? -- huh, go ahead and love on them when you come back and tell them whatever you like when you leave. I'm with Feisty49! When I return from an absence, I ramp up her excitement to higher levels by using a higher-pitched voice and making funny sounds. It's fun and we both enjoy it.

Edited April 26, 2013 by OwnedBySummer

[Feisty49]

Really? I've always done this, with all my dogs. "Soon" is also sometimes "later", if it's going to be a longer excursion. I think some of those "dog world" people over-think things or something.

 

I agree, an SA dog probably has to be treated differently. Never had one so I've never had to learn about it. But a "normal" dog? -- huh, go ahead and love on them when you come back and tell them whatever you like when you leave. I'm with Feisty49! When I return from an absence, I ramp up her excitement to higher levels by using a higher-pitched voice and making funny sounds. It's fun and we both enjoy it.

 

Re not saying good-bye: Everybody, and I mean everybody, in my Greyhound group [except for me ] tells every adopter to ignore when leaving and ignore upon return. I've read that a lot here on GT too. It's just not common sense to apply one rule for every dog.

[cometdust1]

I too have a separation anxiety dog and I used to totally ignore him when I was leaving or when I came home.Every dog is different and you have to see what works in your home. For us, a mild aknowladgement with a hello boy and a gentle pet when coming in calms and reassures him and works out better than ignoring him. I just keep it low key and brief and don't make it a big deal. I find that routine, such as going to work is O.K. with him.But if I'm not in my scrubs, then he thinks there is a chance he's going too so he gets anxious and excited. If turn to him and tell him no, you stay here, he goes and lays on his bed (with a pouty face of course). I give him a ball with kibble in it ,which he only gets when I go out, and for the most part, he's calm while I'm gone.We've only had one destruction incident since his first one last july.

[OwnedBySummer]

Here's my rule of thumb, LOL: If it works, do it. If it doesn't work, change it. If you don't like it, stop it.

This allows for plenty of embarrassing opportunities to be caught being the freaky dog parent!

[krissy]

I think the important thing here though is that the OP says that her dog does have some SA. I agree that with a dog who doesn't you can enjoy being greeted at the door with some enthusiasm, but I would never make a big deal with a dog who has any SA. Ignoring them completely is usually best, but as cometdust has said, sometime a very subdued acknowledgement works for some dogs. But personally I wouldn't reward an anxious dog for jumping up or being over the top as the OP reports with their dog.

[OwnedBySummer]

Quite right, Krissy! We wandered away a bit. But what I was trying to get at was... "rules" and "instructions" don't matter -- it's what works for you and your own dog which matters. So... if the OP finds that petting her pup when she comes home is enjoyed by both of them and isn't causing any problems... then, by all means, do it.

Edited April 26, 2013 by OwnedBySummer

[Guest jennis]

Basically she gives me an exuberant greeting but if I ignore her she gets more and more excited.

[krissy]

Basically she gives me an exuberant greeting but if I ignore her she gets more and more excited.

The key is you can't necessarily expect them to settle completely. With Kili I now wait for a down in her crate for several seconds. But in the beginning we're talking about letting her out the SECOND she stopped crying, then later the second she stopped bouncing around, then the second she offered a sit/down.

 

The instant the dog shows the slightest bit of calmness that is when you reward. She likes to jump up? The second all 4 feet are on the ground you stop ignoring and reward with a bit of affection. Barking? The second the dog pauses for breath you reward. Eventually you can turn that into a 5 minute sit stay when you walk through the door(not that you would just demonstrating where you could go from an over the top greeting).

 

This may all seem super anal to some people. Maybe it is, but my dogs are performance dogs. I want them to have self control, focus, and work drive. I can't do anything with excitement that involves jumping all over me. But if you watch my dogs work you can see they are excited and happy to be doing it. Self control does not remove excitement or happiness, it gives the dog something constructive to do with it.

[Guest Giselle]

 

I don't buy that a dog has the reasoning powers to think that my greeting means I think my being gone is a big deal.

Exactly my thoughts, as well. Dogs, as far as I know, don't have this type of higher level retroactive reasoning. I just don't believe it, either. And, in my training experiences, I don't think encouraging happy greetings is directly linked with worsening separation anxiety. What IS important is that the animal learns that calm behavior gets their people to return. But these are two different things. Anytime a dog has behavioral problems, I recommend this: Don't ignore it. Don't slap a band-aid on it. Control it. (I should note that ignoring can be a powerful tool for training, but it only works in specific ways in select cases. This isn't one of them, IMO.)

 

So to control your dog's excitement, ask your dog to 1) "Back" (no crowding at the door! This is not acceptable doggy behavior because it gives your dog a chance to bolt!) 2) "Go Lay Down"/"Go to Your Bed". You can achieve this by teaching these behaviors separately and then chaining them together.

1) First, teach your dog to back up. You can do this by leaning in towards your dog. As soon as she moves her weight back, click/treat. Repeat repeat repeat until she starts taking steps backwards -> click/treat. Repeat repeat repeat until she takes several steps back when you lean in. Then, say "Back" -> lean in -> click/treat the dog for stepping backwards.

2) Then, teach "Go to your Bed/Go Lay Down". Place a mat about 5 feet from your front door. Toss a few treats onto the mat to get your dog interested in it. Then, wait. As soon as the dog leans towards the mat or places a paw on it, click/treat. Repeat. Then, when she's pawing the mat, wait for her to fully step onto the mat - click/treat. Repeat. Then, if your dog already knows "Down", you can ask for it to speed up the training. If not, teach her to Down on the mat as usual. When she readily runs to the mat + does a Down, put a verbal cue to it, such as "Go Lay Down". So, every time you come home, you should be able to ask your dog to 1) "Back!" and 2) "Go Lay Down". Once she is down on her mat, you can reward her with treats and loving. You can release her from the mat after ~2 minutes, but make sure that you are always controlling the situation by asking her to do explicit behaviors. This way, she learns to control her excitement and you can have your happy greetings.

[Guest Giselle]

I get this question a lot from people and I had extra time today, so I made a quick (low-quality, sorry) video of how to train a proper entry. I basically show the progression of what I wrote above.

http://smg.photobucket.com/user/LSophie/media/BackandGoLayDown_zps9f19022f.mp4.html

 

This is what I require from dogs when their owners come home. You'll discover that, if you teach these things correctly, dogs love it when you control the situation by giving them explicit commands. If you train via positive reinforcement and shaping, you'll see an improvement in the dog's overall behavior and impulse control.

[Guest psdirector]

Our boys play bow, tail wag and grab their toys when we come home... or when I've taken a shower... or when they wake up in the morning. Why not? We're all happy to see each other and I won't pretend otherwise. When DH comes home he gets the same treatment. We love it, they love it and they settle pretty quickly once we've said our hellos and given pats and hugs.

[JJNg]

I don't agree with ignoring a dog when you come home, even if you're dealing with separation anxiety. Imagine how you'd feel if a family member comes home, you try to greet them, and they pretend you're not there. I think the key is to keep the greeting calm and low-key, especially if you don't don't want to encourage the dog to get over-excited and jump all over you. If you have a dog who has enough self-control for a more playful, happier greeting without going over the top, I think that's fine too.

[Guest EvanstonGrey]

Our boys play bow, tail wag and grab their toys when we come home... or when I've taken a shower... or when they wake up in the morning. Why not? We're all happy to see each other and I won't pretend otherwise. When DH comes home he gets the same treatment. We love it, they love it and they settle pretty quickly once we've said our hellos and given pats and hugs.

 

My two go absolutely nuts grabbing all their toys when I come home too! It's hilarious! Not sure why, but it sure is cute to come home to a squeaky toy symphony