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Guest FatCatSkinnyDog

Hi All. It's been a while!

 

I need some help - Rajah is driving us bonkers. I seriously contemplated booting him to the curb today! He pooped in his crate at 2 am - AGAIN! This is the third time in a week. I think there was a thunderstorm about 25 miles away. He contributes absolutely nothing to our quality of life. We get no love from him... no acknowledgment of our existence at all unless he wants food or to go outside. He runs away from our little girl (she will be 2 in October) unless she has food. She's gentle, she pets him nicely and he lets her if he's on the couch. If he's just walking through or lying on the floor he will get up and run away. Otherwise, he stays upstairs. He walked away from me this morning too. I will be taking him back to the vet shortly, but testing before has showed no medical reason for his issues. We have tried clomicalm, which worked for about 2 weeks and then he went right back to his antisocial behavior. I've tried DAP, we have a thundershirt, which helps a tiny bit. Xanax does nothing for him. He is thunderphobic and hates the heat so summer is miserable. He's always been funny in the summer, but with age, and the addition of the kiddo, he's turned into a recluse. We try to give him attention but he doesn't want it. Ideas?

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Do you want him to remain in your home? If not, return him to your group.

 

When did you adopt him? Have you tried getting rid of the crate, leaving him alone and letting him adjust at his own pace?

Edited by robinw

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Xavi the galgo and Peter the cat. Missing Iker the galgo ?-Feb.9/19, Treasure (USS Treasure) April 12/01-May 6/13, Phoenix (Hallo Top Son) Dec.14/99-June 4/11 and Loca (Reko Swahili) Oct.9/95 - June 1/09, Allen the boss cat, died late November, 2021, age 19.

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Guest FatCatSkinnyDog

The crate is because he was messing everywhere. We didn't crate him for a long time because he hated it, but at the suggestion of the vet - and sheer desperation - we are crating as of April. He was doing better for a while, but I feel like we go in cycles: he's horrid, he gets better, he gets worse, he's horrid, he gets better...

 

We have had him for 7 years. If we didn't want him to remain in the home, I wouldn't be here asking for help. We adopted him, he is a member of the family, no matter how mad we are at him.

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I think getting him to the vet is a good idea just to check if there is any medical issue. Perhaps your vet has some ideas on how to help. If you adopted him from a group, it's a good idea to contact them for help, too, as they will have suggestions and ideas. How old is he? I hear your frustations and I am not here to judge, if you must give him up, please be sure he goes back to his group so they can find him a different home.

Missing KC Kitty 2000-2016

Missing Myka and part of my heart 2006-2020

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I didn't realize he's been with you for so long. Hopefully another vet trip can help. I'm sure there are people here who can help much more than I can. Good luck.

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Xavi the galgo and Peter the cat. Missing Iker the galgo ?-Feb.9/19, Treasure (USS Treasure) April 12/01-May 6/13, Phoenix (Hallo Top Son) Dec.14/99-June 4/11 and Loca (Reko Swahili) Oct.9/95 - June 1/09, Allen the boss cat, died late November, 2021, age 19.

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Guest IrskasMom

No Flames here , but I don't think there is much Love on both sides . If you belief that there is no Connection ,please return him and maybe he will be fine in another Home.A Vet Visit would be a good thing . Is he mourning something (another Pet) that he loved ,or even another person he was close to ???

Edited by IrskasMom
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It sounds like there are several separate issues: thunder phobia causing him to poop in the crate, his hating summer heat, your kid, his aging, and his seemingly having lost interest in your family. Is this correct? (Of course some or all of them could be connected).

 

It's great you're not willing to give him up, though you do say in your original post you were seriously contemplating booting him to the curb today (what exactly does that mean?). Is it possible he's picked up on your frustration with the pooping over time, and is avoiding bad vibes? Not saying it's so, just trying to tease apart the various elements in this.

 

My dog certainly turns into a moper at times when it's too hot for his taste.

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He contributes absolutely nothing to our quality of life. We get no love from him... no acknowledgment of our existence at all unless he wants food or to go outside.

 

Do you really mean this? And since it sounds like you've had him for a while, has it always been like this, or was your relationship better before? Perhaps before your daughter?

 

but with age, and the addition of the kiddo, he's turned into a recluse.

 

I wonder if the addition of your little girl is the major issue. Some dogs just aren't comfortable interacting with young children. And if he's stressed from her presence, it could certainly explain the change in his attitude as well as the accidents. Additionally, have your feelings toward him changed? Dogs are very sensitive to our moods and feelings, so he could be responding to this as well.

 

I know you said that you are committed to keeping him, but if he's just not comfortable living with your daughter, it may be worth considering whether you can realistically make this work in a way that he will be happy. Rather than, or in addition to, using medication to treat anxiety, the more important thing is to assess is the entire home environment and see if there are ways to change the arrangement to minimize exposure to things that cause him stress. And to do this, the first step is to identify the sources of his stress.

 

It sounds like your little girl is one stressor for him, but are there others? Storms and heat are not things you can control, but those are things that he's experienced previous summers, so it's probably the combination of factors that's making things worse this year. Have you done any training and behavior modification specifically to help him develop a good association with your daughter?

Jennifer &

Willow (Wilma Waggle), Wiki (Wiki Hard Ten), Carter (Let's Get It On),

Ollie (whippet), Gracie (whippet x), & Terra (whippet) + Just Saying + Just Alice

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Guest FatCatSkinnyDog

 

 

It sounds like there are several separate issues: thunder phobia causing him to poop in the crate, his hating summer heat, your kid, his aging, and his seemingly having lost interest in your family. Is this correct? (Of course some or all of them could be connected).

 

It's great you're not willing to give him up, though you do say in your original post you were seriously contemplating booting him to the curb today (what exactly does that mean?). Is it possible he's picked up on your frustration with the pooping over time, and is avoiding bad vibes? Not saying it's so, just trying to tease apart the various elements in this.

 

My dog certainly turns into a moper at times when it's too hot for his taste.

 

Thunderphobia is part of the issue. Though there have been times he just poops in his crate - though maybe there was a storm way off that I didn't know about?

 

The booting him to the curb was sheer frustration. DH and I agree that he is here to stay because we brought him into our family. I'm sure he has picked up on our frustration... it's hard not to show it though. Our poor little girl wants to play with him so much and he won't even let her pet him unless she's giving him food. The vet has tried to help with various drugs - the best was doggy uppers and downers all at the same time - but it seems like he just keeps going around in this cycle. I wish I could give him more positive vibes, but when I try to love on him, he gets up and leaves. We are trying so hard to make this work.

 

I know the dynamic of the family has changed, but we have taught our daughter to be gentle with the pets from day 1. Morgana (cat) tolerates her pretty well and she will be 13 in September. Rajah will be 10 in December BTW. I will be calling the vet on Monday. She has two greys herself and one of them has had similar issues so she understands our frustrations. We love our boy... but we don't like him much these days.

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He contributes absolutely nothing to our quality of life. We get no love from him... no acknowledgment of our existence at all unless he wants food or to go outside.

 

Do you really mean this? And since it sounds like you've had him for a while, has it always been like this, or was your relationship better before? Perhaps before your daughter?

 

but with age, and the addition of the kiddo, he's turned into a recluse.

 

I wonder if the addition of your little girl is the major issue. Some dogs just aren't comfortable interacting with young children. And if he's stressed from her presence, it could certainly explain the change in his attitude as well as the accidents. Additionally, have your feelings toward him changed? Dogs are very sensitive to our moods and feelings, so he could be responding to this as well.

 

I know you said that you are committed to keeping him, but if he's just not comfortable living with your daughter, it may be worth considering whether you can realistically make this work in a way that he will be happy. Rather than, or in addition to, using medication to treat anxiety, the more important thing is to assess is the entire home environment and see if there are ways to change the arrangement to minimize exposure to things that cause him stress. And to do this, the first step is to identify the sources of his stress.

 

It sounds like your little girl is one stressor for him, but are there others? Storms and heat are not things you can control, but those are things that he's experienced previous summers, so it's probably the combination of factors that's making things worse this year. Have you done any training and behavior modification specifically to help him develop a good association with your daughter?

 

We adopted him, he is a member of the family, no matter how mad we are at him.

 

What JJNg has said, and I can only add to address the latter part of your sentence above. Rajah knows how mad you are at him, and that has to be corrected first before he can show you progress in the other areas. He's been with you so long, I truly hope you can work this out. Best of luck.

Old Dogs are the Best Dogs. :heartThank you, campers. Current enrollees:  Punkin. Annie Oooh M. 

Angels: Pal :heart. Segugio. Sorella (TPGIT). LadyBug. Zeke-aroni. MiMi Sizzle Pants. Gracie. Seamie :heart:brokenheart. (Foster)Sweet. Andy. PaddyALVIN!Mayhem. Bosco. Bruno. Dottie B. Trevor Double-Heart. Bea. Cletus, KLTO. Aiden.

:paw Upon reflection, our lives are often referenced in parts defined by the all-too-short lives of our dogs.

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How often is he taken out, for how long, and what potty jobs does he do at those times?

 

What food does he eat, how much, at what times?

 

Has he had a fecal lately? Been wormed?

 

How long is he crated during the day, and how long for each stretch if more than one?

 

Those questions would be worth exploring re potty issues. The other things -- could be he is not comfortable, could be he is just not a dog who is interested in interacting a lot. My Joseph likes ear rubs and the occasional armpit rub, but he is really not a dog who has an interest in being loved up, KWIM? His personality; works for us but might not work for others.

Star aka Starz Ovation (Ronco x Oneco Maggie*, litter #48538), Coco aka Low Key (Kiowa Mon Manny x Party Hardy, litter # 59881), and mom in Illinois
We miss Reko Batman (Trouper Zeke x Marque Louisiana), 11/15/95-6/29/06, Rocco the thistledown whippet, 04/29/93-10/14/08, Reko Zema (Mo Kick x Reko Princess), 8/16/98-4/18/10, the most beautiful girl in the whole USA, my good egg Joseph aka Won by a Nose (Oneco Cufflink x Buy Back), 09/22/2003-03/01/2013, and our gentle sweet Gidget (Digitizer, Dodgem by Design x Sobe Mulberry), 1/29/2006-11/22/2014, gone much too soon. Never forgetting CJC's Buckshot, 1/2/07-10/25/10.

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Guest FatCatSkinnyDog

Honestly, it didn't occur to me that he might just not be able to deal with the little one. We did do our best to ease him into and be comfortable with her presence. He has a bed in her room, which he uses less these days, we have always encouraged him to be around her right from the start. We always tried to associate her with good things - pets, lovin's, food. As soon as she became mobile we gave her cookies to give to him. That's her job now - to give him his cookie when he comes inside. He will sit and wait for her to drop food but as soon as the food is gone, so is he.

 

When I say he contributes nothing, I mean that he doesn't act like a member of the family. He comes around for food and when he needs to go out and otherwise he stays away from us. It would be difficult for us to return him to our group because they are in WV and we have since moved to NC. I really don't want to rehome him because I do see him as a family member, even if he doesn't act like one. We have had him for so long that I worry that he will.. I don't know.. feel like we abandoned him? I just don't know that to do!

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:grouphug Can you take him for some one-on-one outings? A short walk to the mailbox (stuff like that), a ride for a hamburger, anything where it's just him with you. I suspect right now that he feels a bit displaced, and he needs to feel again that he is important to you.

 

Could he have a playdate with some other greyhounds??

Edited by FiveRoooooers

Old Dogs are the Best Dogs. :heartThank you, campers. Current enrollees:  Punkin. Annie Oooh M. 

Angels: Pal :heart. Segugio. Sorella (TPGIT). LadyBug. Zeke-aroni. MiMi Sizzle Pants. Gracie. Seamie :heart:brokenheart. (Foster)Sweet. Andy. PaddyALVIN!Mayhem. Bosco. Bruno. Dottie B. Trevor Double-Heart. Bea. Cletus, KLTO. Aiden.

:paw Upon reflection, our lives are often referenced in parts defined by the all-too-short lives of our dogs.

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Hi, I don't know if you remember me or not... Anyway, I have kids and dogs. I will say that with one of our dogs she is more comfortable without the kids around. It's not bad and we just don't push. She is just not "into it".

 

You mention you are worried he might feel "abandoned", I think he already does :(. He was probably put aside more after the baby was born and he got used to it. Not saying that you did anything wrong but more saying that maybe you need to do things with just him as opposed to making him "fit into the family". He is probably feeling out of sorts being made to take meds that make him feel crazy, being crated, and probably also being yelled at. I think at this point you have to start from square one if you want this to get better. You made a committment to him and you do owe it to him to help.

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~Beth, with a crazy mixed crew of misfits.
~ Forever and Always missing and loving Steak, Carmen, Ivy, Isis, and Madi.
Don't cry because it's ended, Smile because it happened.
Before you judge me, try to keep an open mind, not everyone likes your taste.

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It is entirely possible that a kid that age is just more than he can handle (noise, high physical energy level)--it's even hard for many humans...

 

I feel it's not HIS job to give you love, but the other way around. I understand why you would want that his love--one of the reasons we have pets is to enjoy a two way street of love. But if he's once given you love, and now isn't, it's for a reason that's beyond something in his control, and therefore it's up to the human to accept living with this development without grudge or, as you're trying to do, figure out how to help the dog through this, but also without grudge. Your dog is responding to something in his life--he's not punishing you by withdrawing his love.

Edited by christinepi
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Guest happygrey

Hi All. It's been a while!

 

I need some help - Rajah is driving us bonkers. I seriously contemplated booting him to the curb today! He pooped in his crate at 2 am - AGAIN! This is the third time in a week. I think there was a thunderstorm about 25 miles away. He contributes absolutely nothing to our quality of life. We get no love from him... no acknowledgment of our existence at all unless he wants food or to go outside. He runs away from our little girl (she will be 2 in October) unless she has food. She's gentle, she pets him nicely and he lets her if he's on the couch. If he's just walking through or lying on the floor he will get up and run away. Otherwise, he stays upstairs. He walked away from me this morning too. I will be taking him back to the vet shortly, but testing before has showed no medical reason for his issues. We have tried clomicalm, which worked for about 2 weeks and then he went right back to his antisocial behavior. I've tried DAP, we have a thundershirt, which helps a tiny bit. Xanax does nothing for him. He is thunderphobic and hates the heat so summer is miserable. He's always been funny in the summer, but with age, and the addition of the kiddo, he's turned into a recluse. We try to give him attention but he doesn't want it. Ideas?

 

I think it sounds like he hasn't been able to adjust to your daughter.

 

Some are definitely more social than others. He may be even more challenged to be social now that he's in a home with a young child.

 

Working with him while also parenting a young child will be very hard. Reading your post my first thought is that you should seriously consider rehoming him. I realize that it may be hard for you to consider, but it sounds like you are both miserable.

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My Garry (who we lost to osteo 2 weeks ago) came to us a scared, reclusive guy. it was a struggle to get him to come and eat. at times it was frustrating, but I saw "something" in him...and did not give up. we gave him a safe area on the main floor..he always stayed upstairs. and kept special food treats he loved (high level reinforcers) for when he came to us...such as pasta or chicken. He only got those treats when he was being social. I am a special education teacher..many of the same techniques are used. Anyway...long story short..it took a few years...but he turned into the BEST DOG anyone would want. He loved us so much and showed it all the time. he was still timid..but that was ok. we made adjustments for him. He added so much to our lives. it was so worth the work we put in. Find what makes him "tick", smile at him when he is nervous..they understand that. At least I sent garry to the bridge knowing I gave him a good life, after all the hard work.

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Guest IrskasMom

It was not clear out of your Posts if he has always been that way or just in the last 2 Years. Was he a happy Guy before , played with his Stuffies ,did a happy Dance and enjoyed Treats ???

Edited by IrskasMom
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Many have said better things about the dog/child interaction. Some dogs just simply are not comfortable around a small, active person. Its not a reflection on the work you've done with your daughter, it's just the way he is. Try and do some things WITHOUT the two year old - adults only - and the dog. Take him for a daily walk and have fun with him. Try and reestablish the connection (if any) you once had. Once he understand his place in the pack again, he might feel more confident interacting with her.

 

Complete vet work up to rule out any source of pain or disease will be step number one. There are many reasons a dog can have an uncontrolled bowel movement. Spinal and nerve issues come to mind. Age related issues, bowel disease, and the above mentioned worms and other yucky things can also contribute to accidents..

 

It also sounds like you only tried one anti-anxiety medication. Just like people, different drugs will work differently on each individual. Talk to your vet about trying a different one.

 

Xanax = generic alprazolam - is a fast acting (20 minutes), short-term (dosing is 6-8 hours) benzodiazepine drug. It's most useful for things like thunder phobia and fireworks. The biggest problem with using it for these types of anxieties is that it needs to be given before the dog becomes anxious. If your dog is always in a state of anxiety than xanax is not going to work.

 

Many also use valium for thunder/fireworks, but again, not so successfully for generalized anxiety.

 

Clomicalm is the only drug approved for use in canines, and it was developed to help treat separation anxiety and obsessive complusive disorders. It's a tricyclic anti-depressant. It *can* work with generalized anxiety, but obviously did not for your dog. The fact that it worked for a short time indicates that a different drug might be better.

 

Many dogs here on GT have had more success with generalized anxiety disorders by trying various SSRI (selective seratonin re-uptake inhibitors) drugs. Mostly off-label uses of human anti-anxiety meds like prozac and paxil.

 

We tried xanax, clomicalm, and prozac on our dog before finding out that paxil worked wonders for her, so don't stop trying them just because one didn't work. She gets paxil every day and we add in xanax for fireworks this time of year. You also need to keep working on the behavior modification training with him. The drugs will only help the physical/chemical imbalance that is causing his mind to not accept behavior modification. It's up to you to work to (literally) change his mind about whatever is causing him to be anxious.

Chris - Mom to: Lilly, Felicity (DeLand), and Andi (Braska Pandora)

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Angels: Libby (Everlast), Dorie (Dog Gone Holly), Dude (TNJ VooDoo), Copper (Kid's Copper), Cash (GSI Payncash), Toni (LPH Cry Baby), Whiskey (KT's Phys Ed), Atom

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Have you considered having a dog behavourist come to your home to help? After reading your first post, it sounds like you have some expectations that he's not meeting. But it does sound like you've introduced him and your daughter successfully.

 

I suspect with a 2 y/o you have less time to exercise him and spend time with him. Can you take both of them - baby in stroller, dog on leash for a long walk? I also agree that he may be picking up on your frustration. Pooping in his crate is worrisome...hopefully, your vet has some answers.

Jan with precious pups Emmy (Stormin J Flag) and Simon (Nitro Si). Missing my angels: Bailey Buffetbobleclair 11/11/98-17/12/09; Ben Task Rapid Wave 5/5/02-2/11/15; Brooke Glo's Destroyer 7/09/06-21/06/16 and Katie Crazykatiebug 12/11/06 -21/08/21. My blog about grief The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not get over the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same, nor would you want to. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

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