How To Love Again?

[Guest Eeny]

Hi Everyone,

I had to have my little dog (not a greyhound) of almost 15 years put to sleep about three weeks ago.

This was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life!

My questions.....

Does the empty feeling in my heart ever go away?

If any of you have been through this, how long did you wait to get another dog?

Did you find yourself comparing the new dog to your previous dog?

Thanks so much

[Guest BeccaLS]

I'm really sorry for your loss. I lost my 8 month old Italian Greyhound in May. It actually feels like your heart is broken. That pain does go away. I'm not the best person to talk to as I am still in so much pain over my loss.Take it day to day. It helped to read a few books on pet loss and to do things to memorialize Ezra. As far as getting another dog... I think about it sometimes but I know in my heart I'm not ready. It is a very personal choice. *Hugs* Take care of yourself.

~Becca

[Guest Eeny]

Thank you for getting back with me, I am also very sorry to hear about your loss.

 

Thank you again for your reply back.

[Guest shiningstar]

I lost our yorkie of seventeen years 5 years ago. For myself the empty feeling still has not gone away. We got a kitty after Bonkers which we love. And of course Star we got in May of this year. I do think it probably would have been better had I gotten a dog a lot sooner, but I was consumed so with grief I couldn't stand it. My Mother also passed away a few months before that.

It would be best I'm sure if you are up to it to get another. It's been awhile since I lost Bonkers but I never compare one to the other. They are such unique individuals it hasn't crossed my mind to do so.

[greyhoundlov]

There will always be a hole in your heart for your lost baby. For me, filling that hole with the good memories helped tremendously. We did get another grey who, in many ways, reminds me of China. We love her and enjoy her, but she is not a replacement. Your heart expands to make room for another who needs you just as much as you need her.

[Burpdog]

My sympathy on your loss.

 

Getting another is so individual. The last time I only had one in the house, when she went to the bridge, I waited two months. I couldn't stand the quiet of the house and I missed the companionship.

 

I have said many times, when one goes to the bridge, they make room for another that needs a home and love.

 

When I was doing hospice care for Shadow & SieSie, the vet said she was sure there were two at the kennel waiting for me

 

If you think you might compare a new companion to the old one I suggest you get a different color regardless of breed. It makes it easier to remember it's a new soul you are bringing in and there is less chance of comparing.

[Guest mygracefulpooch]

I am so sorry for your loss. The pain is deep and may stay for awhile. 15 years is a very long time to be with a pal. I lost my pal in Dec. and I still hurt. I think it depends on the individual. We got another dog 6 hours later because we could not come home to an empty house. Believe it or not it was the best thing for us. I compared the new pup to the one that I lost and that took awhile to stop doing.

You are the only person who will know if it the best time to get another dog. Remember you are not replacing the pup just adding to the family.

Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

[MilliesMom]

Millie's been gone 11 months,and her food bag is still sitting here. We had her 13 1/2 years (she was almost 15), so I can understand how hard it is for you. I start thinking of another dog, and then I think of Mil, and I simply can't do it yet.

My heart goes out to those who've suffered losses (human and furry) on this BB.

I've lost probably 7 dogs and 10 cats in all my years, and it never gets any easier. In fact, this is the hardest I've ever been hit.

I figure when the time is right, I'll know it.

[Guest Eeny]

Thank you "all" so much for your kind words!

If you only knew how much it helps to hear from others that have and are feeling the same feelings that I am!

It's just so hard dealing with these feelings!

It's really strange.

One minute I think to myself I just can't be without a dog, and then the very next I think to myself I'm not ready for another dog, because I miss my little girl so much.

I just hope I get a sure sign when the time is right.

Thank you "all" again from the bottom of my heart and please keep writing if you wish, because knowing I am not alone helps so much.

[Guest Ferrevergrey]

My heartdog, Sandy, has been gone 18 months now, but I still miss him. The heartache does diminish with time, but I don't think it ever really goes away. I got another dog 3 months after Sandy's death, but if it hadn't been for the fact that he would have been euthanized if I didn't rescue him, I probably wouldn't have. I did compair him to Sandy(bad, I know), so it took quite a while before I formed a strong bond with him.

[Guest gigi]

My heart is with you. I have buried a 17 year old Brittney, a 16 year old German Shepherd, a 13 year old terrier-mix, and last month a 10 year old greyhound.

You never forget them. You can't replace them, and you never will. Another dog is another love in your life, not a replacement. The pain will stay with you but it takes a different form as time goes by. Instead of thoughts of them making you sad, those same thoughts make you happy- kind of like a little "visit" with them again. You will know when it is time to adopt another dog. Don't wait too long; those new loves are very precious as well.

[Guest KaseysMom]

I am so sorry. You will know when the time is right. I still weep from time to time for my bridge kids. If we didn't love, we wouldn't hurt.

[StridersSis]

This decision is very much individual, you will know when its time! Im so sorry for your loss

[Guest jbrantley]

I can feel your pain. I lost my first greyhound two years ago and I still cry. I could not have loved a human-born child any more than I loved him. He touched my life and so many more. I got a puppy from the farm a year ago. She is a blue brindle and she turned a year old this month. She is wonderful but she will NEVER top my Max! Get another pup, just remember, you can not replace what you once had, just make new memories with another one. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Guest judechet]

My heart goes out to you. I lost my first Grey on June 14, 1999 and I still cry over his loss. He was a senior picked up as a stray and I only had him (Sean) for 57 days. I have never loved another as much as I love Sean. I had two other greys at the time and I knew in my heart that Sean would want another to join me. Noone ever takes the place of another but each one helps in the loving of another. After Sean, I gradually adopted other greys and got up to 9. I lost Buddy last December without warning. Ricky joined us on March 29th and I lost Molly on June 22nd. It is devastating and my grief goes on but I focus on all the wonderful memories of which there are so many. I have one who is 13 1/2; one 12, two 11, one 9 and three 7. I expect the two oldest will not be with me much longer but I will cherish every day that we have. I find great comfort in knowing that I was able to provide the ones I have lost with much love and many days of true happiness. I don't know if I will add another companion now much as I would love to. I am getting close to retirement and I have to begin sometime to watch my expenses. Last year, I spent over $18,000 on my guys. Of course, over $5000 of that was spent on getting Molly well. She was a brood mom I adopted as she turned 12. I miss her so (six weeks now) but I know she had 18 wonderful months here. If she had stayed on the farm, she would have been dead within weeks. Go with your heart. When you are ready, you will know. I never intended to go beyond five greys but I followed my heart and will never regret it. We have so much love to give and they return so much love to us. I have never replaced one. I simply opened my heart to another. I knew I had to and I knew when I had to. So will you. God bless.

[Guest fasttrack]

Loss it hurts. When I was in the first grade my beloved birddog died after being hit by a car. Trigger was 10 and we had recently moved to a new home. Everyday Trigger would find a way to get out of the house and travel 5 blocks to my old home where my Aunt Ruth lived which was right next door to our old home. We did everything to keep him inside but somehow he always found a way to go back home. He had a job there as my Aunt was in a wheelchair and he always got the morning paper for her. He knew his job and old age and being deaf was not going to stop him from his work or the sugar cookie reward she always had on hand for him. One morning he did not hear the car horn and was hit. My Dad came to school to tell me about Trigger going to the bridge. Wiping my tears he told me that when dogs got to their heavenly home. Upon arrival they were interviewed by Saint Frances. If the answered all the question he ask of them with a postive response then they were ask to choose another dog of their breed to live with the family they loved and had left behind.

[Guest fasttrack]

Dads story gift in my time of grief has never failed to open my heart to another. Sometimes it is within hours of losing a beloved grey or days. I have seven greys waiting at the bridge with Trigger . Two within 24 hours of each other and all over the last 2 years.I just keep opening my heart and tey arrive sent by beloved grey at the bridge so my heart will remember to love. Each with a gift and each special adding joy to our family. Go with your heart becasue your grey will be choosing one of their kind to enjoy life in your family.

[Guest acecommander]

Sorry for your loss. Only you can decide when you are ready for another pup. It's like falling in love. It will happen when you least expect it to.

 

After we lost Bob's Banker, Judy and I decided to wait at least 6 months before even discussing the subject.

 

About 2 weeks afterwards, we went to PetSmart to donate Bankers leash and collar, and some food we had left over. Hill Country Greyhound Rescue was showing dogs that day, and of course even though these dogs are recently off the track, they know a sucker when they see one. Ace Commander broke free of the lady that was holding him and almost knocked me over. When I took him back over to the group of dogs there, he barked at me when I started to leave. I asked him what was his problem, and he just whined at me.

 

He used the same tricks that Judy used to make me pay attention to him. Of course it worked.

 

I'm also a failed foster parent. I can still volunteer for the adoption clinics, but require adult supervision.

[Guest Eeny]

Hi Guys!

What nice stories!

Sounds to me like I should stop worrying about when the time is right and just wait until I feel it in my heart and when the time is right it will come.

I just love hearing "all" of your stories...they are so helpful and I can't thank you "all" enough!

[Guest nancyd]

Condolences on the loss of your best friend. I agree with others who have said that you never forget the loss, but time heals much of the pain (not all). When to add another to your family is an individual decision. I can't bear being dogless - it would be so difficult coming home to no happy greeting.

 

We lost our dear basset, Tristan, to cancer the day after Christmas, 1999. He and his greyhound brother, Brynny, would always be standing together at the top of the stairs to welcome us home. It broke my heart to see Brynny standing there alone, so two weeks later we rescued a little girl basset. She did not take Tristan's place, but has made her own special place in our home and hearts.

 

Brynny in now past 14, and it's very difficult to watch him aging - his face is very grey and he doesn't run around as fast or often as he once did. They grow old too soon.

 

There is another greyhound or other breed out there who will bring joy into your life when you feel you are ready.

 

Good luck.

 

Nancy

[Guest geriz]

Does the pain go away - yes and no. As time goes on you think about your baby less often and when you do think about it the tears don't instantly pour out. But, when they pop into your head, and you let yourself think about them for too long, - the tears and pain come. Personally - if I find myself thinking about one of the babies I lost, I stop myself because I get too upset. The only time I let myself really think about it is on their birthdays when I light a candle for them.

 

As far as when to get a new pet, go with your gut - I think it's different for everyone.

[Guest TorynUs]

We lost our mini-schnauzer back in June of 2002, just 2 weeks shy of her 14th bday. We didn't know if we wanted another dog, but then we met greys. I knew I didn't want another schnauzer because she was SO special, I knew no one could fill her shoes; Genny was the best We got Tory in Sept. 02, and Dobie in March of 03, and have never regretted it. They are true companions to us. We like to think that Genny led us to Tory as Tory's birthday is the day we had to have Genny put down Ironic, huh? Having her birthday be the same day really helped me get through the first year anniversary of Genny's death as we could celebrate the birthday of our new girl but at the same time remember our dear Genny. It is VERY hard every time I see a schnauzer I burst into tears, but that is just the impact she had on our lives. I think you will know if/when the time is right. You will just feel it.

Good luck, and I am sorry for the loss of your friend. The friendship stays with you forever, and if you are like me, you will always treasure it.

[Guest Lisa_n_Dusty]

I am sorry for your loss. My sweet boy Dusty, who is still pictured on my avatar, crossed over the beginning of January. I cried everyday and felt such a profound loss and emptiness I never thought I could love another the same way. But, I felt such a strong need to nurture and love another one I got Alfie at the end of March.

I looked for a grey who's personality was totally opposite of my sweet spookie boy. There is no comparison I loved dusty for dusty and I love alfie for alfie. If that makes any sense.

I went from crying everyday to laughing everyday my Alfie is the biggest goofball!

Yes you will love again but, in your own time. This is such a personal thing and something or someone will help you make the decision to love another.

I was restless and knew their was a grey out there who needed me as much as my Dusty did. I needed to love again and saw my goofball with the floppy ear and tongue hanging out the side and he melted my heart.

I still have my moments when I cry and talk to Dusty but I know he wanted me to share my love with another. When I sleep at night I dream of Dusty running in a field with a big grin. I think he is trying to tell me that he is happy and I should be too.

There are so many dogs out there who need you and your love. Please don't wait too long. People who love their animals so deeply are needed to make a differance in another dogs life.

[silverfish]

Yes, eventually the pain eases. Notice I don't say 'goes away' because I'm not sure it ever completely goes. When we lose a friend it leaves a scar on our hearts.

 

I still mourn my first little cat who I lost nearly 30 years ago. Long periods go by when I don't think of her at all, but when I do, it still hurts.

 

Susan was the first dog I've lost and her loss is still recent and raw. She went to the bridge in March this year. I've stopped crying whenever I speak of her, but there are still times when I do cry. Little things still remind me of her.

 

I knew we would get another dog. Mainly because the reason we got Suze was that Jim seemed to need company - and it wasn't long before Jim began to feel lonely again. When he took to moaning at the door of the office every time I went in there (slippy floor, Jim no can do) we knew it was time to look for another companion for him and Irene came home with us at the end of May.

 

My 18 yr old DS came to me and said he didn't think he could love another dog as he loved Susan. He was worried that we would get another girl and he wouldn't be able to relate to her. I told him, she would be a very different dog to Susan, but that he would love her anyway. I told him the heart expands to provide love for another, even though the love for the first is still there.

 

Now, he and Irene are very close. He loves her to bits and she loves him right back.

 

We do sometimes compare Renie to Susan but not in a critical way - just to say 'do you remember, Suze did this, but Renie does that!'

 

Take your time to mourn your beloved friend. When the time is right, you'll know you can open your heart and make this world a better place for another dog.

 

[patricia]

I am so very sorry for your loss. I have 14 Angels watching from the Bridge. I can not say the pain ever goes away...but it lessens and in time I could speak of them without crying and talk about those special and funny things that they did to capture my very soul. I always opened my heart to another...never replacing...just loving...it seems there is always room in our hearts for one more. When Cody Angelo came to us...I loved him so...and yet...I felt Truffles knew and thought that he was being replaced and I felt guilty...very guilty...until I noticed that Cody did so many things that were unusual...only things that Truffles had done...and it occurred to me that my Truffles had sent me Cody when I needed to love so desperately....and in loving Cody...a part of Truffles lives on. Also...Cody Angelo was born the day that Truffles went to the Bridge...and thus the circle of life continues. I know that they are never far from me...only a heartbeat away. You will know when the time is right. Just take one day at a time and follow your heart.