Has Anyone Ever Managed Serious Aggression?

[Guest firegypsy]

Yes. But, I wouldn't take one on now that we're having a kid. Wanting to keep a dog that's not a good fit is about human ego and usually has nothing to do with what's best for the dog or the family...a fresh start can do amazing things for a "troubled" dog. We've adopted dogs that were going to be put down because they were so aggressive/unpredictable to people and/or other dogs. We still have several of them (some have passed away) and they needed a bit of work, but mostly they needed a different environment. Like I said, our days of taking on the aggression cases are behind us for a long while but there are people out there who can and will handle these dogs. Sometimes the best gift you can give to a dog is to let them go to a better-suited environment where they can work through their issues and become a balanced dog.

 

 

thank you. I appreciate that and it's what I need to keep hearing. I'm apparently high maintenance too. This sentiment needs to replace the "I've failed this dog" in my head. What helps is how much happier my boy is. He's started to smile since she's been out of the house. That's pretty priceless. I just thought he was a mopey Eeyore dog. Turns out that's not the case.

 

[GeorgeofNE]

You didn't do anything wrong--but it would be wrong to take this dog back.

 

You tried. It didn't work. I agree with the poster who said move on, and let her move on. No one is faulting you for anything. If you were to ask for her back, and get her back, and she bit again, it may well end up being her last chance. Don't do that to her. She would do well in a home like mine; one dog at a time, no children. I'm not that rare a dog owner. Someone will come along who can handle her. Please don't feel guilty.

Edited February 16, 2012 by GeorgeofNE

[sweetdogs]

What helps is how much happier my boy is. He's started to smile since she's been out of the house. That's pretty priceless. I just thought he was a mopey Eeyore dog. Turns out that's not the case.

 

 

THIS THIS THIS is worth all the guilt, isn't it??? You've made Paladin SO happy. That is a wonderful gift to have given him.

 

If the other dog's only issue is outside, playtime aggression (although I don't believe it is), she needs a JOB. She needs to be working ALL THE TIME. And that will take someone with lots of time to devote to her - & that's not you.

[TheFullHouse]

I was on an Ipad last night and really couldn't respond like I wanted to. Valentino was the most aggressive hound I had ever come in contact with. He walked into the house and had to be first at everything. When I would let the dogs down from upstairs he would rush to be first and then try and attack every dog that came down the stairs after him. He would rush to the door to be let out first and then go after each and every dog that followed him. He would try and run dogs off of their beds only to walk away because he really didn't want that bed in the first place. He couldn't be fed with anyone else. He was a tough cookie and if I had had small children in the house 24/7, there would have been no way I could have dealt with him. I would have been in fear of the kids being his next "victims". It took me two long years of positive reinforcement, not allowing him to be first in any situation and staying on top of him 24/7 to get him where he is today and today he is an awesome boy. Mike said last night it still amazes him that Valley never ever causes any problems in the house.

 

My second case was Joey and his problem was misplaced aggression. If he got excited over anything, like the door bell ringing, or a knock at the door, he would attack whoever was standing next to him. He would literally pounce on them and go for their necks. I have had to stay on top of him every time something happens to get him excited. Now I can usually tell if he's about to slip up because he will raise a leg to jump up on someone and I'm right there to stop him. He is also very food aggressive and has to be fed in a crate but he's getting better and better and he's been with us several years now.

 

I could not have dealt with either of these boys with children in the house. I just wouldn't have had the time and I would have been in fear for the children the entire time.

 

You've give your girl the opportunity to be placed with a family who has the capability to deal with her issues. You didn't fail her, you've actually given her a chance at a happy life, maybe one with no other dogs, but she will be happier I think.

 

Just look at it this way, now you have the opportunity to find another dog who needs a home, one who fits in better with your family whom you can enjoy and not worry about all the time.

[kikibean]

I think you did the right thing for your girl. I would never suggest someone keep a dog with aggression issues in a house with small kids. It's not fair to the kids and it's not fair to the dog. If she had seriously bitten a child, she would have been in danger of being put down.

 

We have had a very dog aggressive dog as a foster. We had to watch him every minute. If we left the room for 30 seconds he went into his crate. If he even looked like he was thinking about starting something he got corrected. If we had had children there is no way we could have watched him like we needed to. He ended up being a fabulous dog, but it took a lot of work.

 

By letting her go you kept your boy and your kids safe. You also kept her safe from doing something that could have possibly had horrible consequences. As irritated as we can get for people returning dogs, I would never fault someone for not keeping a dog with aggression issues. It's not something to take on unless your situation will allow you to give it 100% of your attention and there's just no way to do that with kids in the house.

[Rustyroo]

As much as you loved this dog, your home was not the right fit and that's ok. She will find the perfect home.

 

 

[Guest firegypsy]

Thank you all.

 

I spoke to the behaviorist at length and I think I finally have some closure. It's not enough, and I'm still really sad, but he was so thorough and wonderful that I do believe he really understood her. He commiserated with me and told me it was okay to cry (which was really sweet!) but that she could never be a good dog in this house. I think hearing that before wasn't enough because I didn't truly understand it. Because he broke it down piece by piece yesterday I do think I get it and feel that she got the correct assessment. If there was any way to make this work we would. This is going to be hard for me until she gets a happily every after.

[GreytNut]

You made the right choice. As hard as it was and is to let her go, you must put your kids and your other hound first, and also consider the future of this dog. If she is aggressive with kids and other dogs, placing her in a house with kids and other dogs is setting her up for failure. The right home for her is out there and she will find it.

 

It's hard.... I had to return a hound when it became clear that she was unhappy in my house and that my other dog absolutely hated her. But she went to a home where she was the only spoiled princess, and we found another hound who was a perfect match. Your perfect match is out there too.

[Guest firegypsy]

Thank you. I needed this today. I might need it again some time soon, too. Thank you all for understanding how hard this is.

[Guest budsmom]

You did the right thing. You said that she snapped/nipped at a human, too, I believe. Most states have a 2 strikes and you're out law about dog bites. Bringing her back into your home would not only be dangerous for you, your children and your other hound, but also for her. Another bite incident could very well cost her her life. Giving her up wasn't the easy way out, it was the absolute hardest thing you could have done, but it was the most selfless. I can't imagine how hard it was and how much it hurt, but then it's been my experience that the more it hurts, the more right the decision.

[Guest Bob32392]

Just wanted to offer some support and understanding. I could have written your first message. We are dealing with a similar situation, only we've had our boy for almost three years. (We are parents to Joe, discussed in this thread: http://forum.greytalk.com/index.php/topic/281316-aggression-muzzles-and-children/) If you read through it, you will see that we received much of the same advice you did... although there were some folks who had successfully managed aggressive dogs and children.

 

Joe is still living with us because our son is not yet mobile and we are trying to work out some of his health issues. We still cannot bring ourselves to accept that we may have to give him up after the health stuff is resolved and our child is walking... but it's always there in the back of our minds. Like your dog, Joe is such a GOOD boy and so sweet despite his problems - which we have tried hard to remedy. And we love him so much. I understand the pain and anxiety in your first message. Sometimes the guilt of "abandoning" your dog and the uncertainty of where she may end up is so overwhelming that you can't breathe. And it's so hard to reconcile that you could be one of those people who has to return a dog. I NEVER thought I would be that person. In a way, it impacts how I view myself and my place in the world because it's so contrary to how I try to live my life.

 

All of this being said,I wholeheartedly agree with the other posters. You 100% did the right the thing for your hound and your family. There is no question in my mind. If you had tried to get her back, you would be doing her (and yourself) a disservice. Sometimes the best thing you can do is let go. I'm confident that in time you'll realize you made the correct decision. Until then, just keep re-reading this thread for a sanity check.

 

Good luck and best wishes.

[Guest firegypsy]

Just wanted to offer some support and understanding. I could have written your first message. We are dealing with a similar situation, only we've had our boy for almost three years. (We are parents to Joe, discussed in this thread: http://forum.greytalk.com/index.php/topic/281316-aggression-muzzles-and-children/) If you read through it, you will see that we received much of the same advice you did... although there were some folks who had successfully managed aggressive dogs and children.

 

Joe is still living with us because our son is not yet mobile and we are trying to work out some of his health issues. We still cannot bring ourselves to accept that we may have to give him up after the health stuff is resolved and our child is walking... but it's always there in the back of our minds. Like your dog, Joe is such a GOOD boy and so sweet despite his problems - which we have tried hard to remedy. And we love him so much. I understand the pain and anxiety in your first message. Sometimes the guilt of "abandoning" your dog and the uncertainty of where she may end up is so overwhelming that you can't breathe. And it's so hard to reconcile that you could be one of those people who has to return a dog. I NEVER thought I would be that person. In a way, it impacts how I view myself and my place in the world because it's so contrary to how I try to live my life.

 

All of this being said,I wholeheartedly agree with the other posters. You 100% did the right the thing for your hound and your family. There is no question in my mind. If you had tried to get her back, you would be doing her (and yourself) a disservice. Sometimes the best thing you can do is let go. I'm confident that in time you'll realize you made the correct decision. Until then, just keep re-reading this thread for a sanity check.

 

Good luck and best wishes.

 

I'm crying reading this message. Thank you so much and you hit the nail on the head. It's not better yet, the pain is still very fresh, but I have hopes it will get easier as time goes on. Not sure if it will, but I'm praying.